What if you recognise someone from the boards??

[Funmale]

I am sure this has been asked before but is there a way of greeting fellow lit members when seeing them in the r/w, like the masons etc??

I actually think that a certain english lady who i worked with before who has posted here (quite regulary) and on the "am pic" board. Is there some sort of etiquette that one should employ if i want to say hi or is it wiser to leave it well alone??

 

[The Whole Board]

It would depend on the relationship, IRL.

If you wished to greet the person, do it in PM, and be sweet about it.

I can tell you though, that if any people I did not introduce Lit to myself identified me on here, I would begin erasing every posting I have made and then leave this place.



Of course, no one would recognize me under this title!

 

[*bratcat*]

wanna bet??

 

[cymbidia]

If a stranger came up to me in my everyday life, smiled politely, and intro'ed themselves as "Whoever" from Lit, then asked if i wasn't cym, i would probably freak - for a moment at least.

IF (big IF) that person was one with whom i felt comfy already, i'd belikely to then hug them tightly and invite them to go have coffee with me so we could gossip about all the rest of you.

If, however, that person was a relative stranger to me here, i'd be less inclined to allow them into my everyday life too.

I say and reveal things here that i'm not in the habit of discussing so freely in my daily life, a protocol i'm not likely to change by much anytime soon since - !!! - i could lose the job i don't even have yet on morality grounds were it made public knowledge that i'm a BDSM pervert.

IF you think you recognize someone from here in your everyday life, and IF you decide to approach her with that recognition, at least give her a way out, a way to smile and say, "No, I'm afraid you have me confused with someone else".

For our own reasons, some of us need to strictly limit the overlap between this place and that one; allow her that choice please.

 

[Marxist]

I agree with Cym. What if we could introduce a high sign or something? That way we don't have to have lengthy discussions ("I know that's you, let me see if you have the Mickey Mouse tattoo on your right ass cheek,") but just an acknowledgement of sanity.

How about the recognizer says something like: "Aren't you a friend of Laurel?"

To which the recognizee says, "Yeah, I went to high school with her."

Or for those wanting to cut the conversation short in front of the husband and kids:

"Nope, don't know her. Maybe you have me confused with someone else."

 

[InnesLane]

I've discovered already that it's worthwhile to click on cymbidia's posts. I'm not just trying to suck up, here. This woman rocks. She took all the thoughts in my head and got them down before they'd even formed any sense of coherence.

So now all I have to say is "what she said".

Thanks cymbidia. You saved me a lot of work.

 

[Mistress]

It would be weird, very strange....
I would probably freak out at first mainly because if they did see me anywhere it would be at my work place, and I usually dont dress up or anything (I pretty much bum it at work). So I'd be embaressed of how I looked to begin with. I wouldn't want anyone to hear what was said either. I don't know it'd be freaky....

 

[Marxist]

Now that I think about it a little more..... Why the hell would you post something that would identify you if you didn't want the general public to know who you are? Is someone paying for nudity and not letting me in on it? That doesn't give someone the right to harrass or embarass you, but what's the deal with showing the world your face and ass and not expecting someone to say hi?

Some of you people are some strange motherfuckers indeed.

 

[Funmale]

It would be a bit strange, I think a subtle hint might go either way and prob cause both of us embarressment - not least of all as I have posted the odd pic before...!!


I might just keep this one under wraps and keep reality and fantasy separate..

Still think we should have a device like a "lit-radar" that buzzes and/or vibrates (naturally) when in the proximity of a fellow lit member. Then try to guess who the member is by strategic questioning....

I reckon this has got mileage..??!!

Whaddya think?

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

I think the best way would be to not approach the person in RL, but to approach them here, on the board, via a PM or email. But only if you know that person well enough to converse with them in RL - do not use Lit as an excuse to force an introduction that you wouldn't otherwise have.

I also think that it would be wise not to tell them that you think you know them in real life if that person is attached and not a swinger. Sure I know that sounds funny, but think about it; a married/attached person would probably feel very awkward about someone they knew in real life knowing things they have said on this board were known by someone they know in real life. It possibly puts you in a position of power over them - whether you intend that or not.

While many people here don't mind people in RL knowing that they are here, and/or what they say here, many people do, and the nature of the subject matter often makes what they say here or even their very presence highly private. As such, that privacy should be respected.

I think that if I knew someone here on the board in RL, and I wanted to let them know that fact, I would get to know them a lot better and become friends with them both in RL and here on the board, before telling them I knew them in RL. Make them comfortable with you enough that they can trust you, and that requires that you post and share some of yourself so that you are vulnerable too.

Even then, I am not sure I would tell them unless I was sure they would be comfortable with it. Maybe ask them a question in a round about way how they would feel about the situation, and see how they respond.

Granted, all of the above sounds a bit devious if you already know them and you are not telling them - but you would just be doing this because you wanted to maintain their privacy and their comfort level with posting here. If you never tell anybody else (and you never should without their permission), then no real harm is done - although eventually it would probably be best if they knew, or if you just withdrew from the board and never thought about it again.

A ticklish situation all around. I would want to tell them so that they knew - but only if I knew them fairly well.

 

[Funmale]

Shy Tall Guy

You have covered all the points that are currently buzzing around my head, the adage "damned if i do damned if don't" seems particulary apt.

The PM seems the best, but the last thing I would want to do is suddenly present myself as a threat (I am not but you gotta think of all things here) and then put any relationship real or otherwise in jeopardy.

Hopefully I will get the situation sorted as I have a feeling she will be at a Christmas party I am at later this month...

Maybe I shall drop the Literotica name into my festive conversation? See what happens..

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Hopefully I will get the situation sorted as I have a feeling she will be at a Christmas party I am at later this month...

Maybe I shall drop the Literotica name into my festive conversation? See what happens..

Why put any kind of deadline on it? Whether you see her again in real life or not should not pressure you into introducing yourself. It may be a little awkward if your intention is to try to get to know her better, but put it to the back of your mind and treat her as if you didn't know she was here or what she had posted - I think that is how most people would want to be treated. What we post here is one side of us, and what we show in real life is another - we don't want to be known solely for either, but in real life we share what we are comfortable with.

Get to know her first both places without the problem of saying anything about Lit. - then if she seems amenable you can eventually tell her who you are.

Yeah, it is a tricky situation - but that is the best I can come up with. I hate the withholding of key information, but in this case I think it is best until you get to know her better.

 

[Angel]

Hm. If someone ever recognised me in the real world, which isn't all that hard to do, I most likely wouldn't mind at all if they approached me.

But, it would have to be someone I would recognize or have interacted with on the board at some point. If some random person who I've never chatted or posted with came up to me and announced they saw me on Lit, I would probably be pretty rude and brush them off.

If it was someone like Purple Haze, Cheyenne, Vixen, MorningGirl, Dixie, anyone at all who is well known on the board. (Shit, even if it was yayati, LOL) I wouldn't mind. I guess there is some comfort in knowing at least a little bit of someone's personality rather than a complete and utter stranger.

Running up to my counter at work and announcing loudly that you are so and so from Literotica, and asking me if I was Angel probably wouldn't work well either.

Politely inquiring in a quiet manner would probably be best. Although a PM after the fact and asking if they could come back and approach me later on would be even better.

----

If I randomly saw someone from lit, I would try to make some kind of eye contact. Most of you would recognize me on sight, so I would leave it at eye contact and see if you wanted to BE approached once you noticed who I was.

I pretty much know who lives around me though - and I doubt highly I'd bump into anyone.

 

[Mischka]

I think that if I knew someone here on the board in RL, and I wanted to let them know that fact, I would get to know them a lot better and become friends with them both in RL and here on the board, before telling them I knew them in RL. Make them comfortable with you enough that they can trust you, and that requires that you post and share some of yourself so that you are vulnerable too.

I would be royally pissed if someone figured out they knew me in real life and from Lit, but kept that information from me as they got to know me better. I would feel as if the person was toying with me, and was taking their time in deciding whether to share the information or not. I don't like people holding that kind of information over my head.

Just keep it simple. If you suspect a person from your off-line life is a Lit poster, pm that person and ask. You then give that person a way out or a chance to accept an off-line meeting.

Considering how many Texans are around this place, it's likely that perhaps I could run into one of them, and I think it would be fun. If I had had the chance to visit crystalhunting's display in Dallas several month's back, I would have loved to have gone and seen him and his gorgeous creations in person.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

I would be royally pissed if someone figured out they knew me in real life and from Lit, but kept that information from me as they got to know me better. I would feel as if the person was toying with me, and was taking their time in deciding whether to share the information or not. I don't like people holding that kind of information over my head.

That is why we were talking about the damned if he does, damned if he doesn't. No matter how he handles it the person in question may feel used.

Just keep it simple. If you suspect a person from your off-line life is a Lit poster, pm that person and ask. You then give that person a way out or a chance to accept an off-line meeting.

Nothing with people is ever simple. While you would wish it handled a certain way, other people might wish it to be handled another way altogether. More often than not a person needs to know another person quite well before he/she would know what the best course would be.

I too detest the fact that it might require him to keep a secret from her in order to get to the point where he can make that decision, but let me propose an allegory:

Someone you know, in a round about indirect manner, learns that you have a certain sexual prediliction, say you are gay, or are into BDSM. This person shares that interest, but realizes it would be awkward, and might be misinterpreted, if they told you what they knew out of the blue. They are not trying to hide anything from you, or to have power over you, but they don't want to embaress you or create an awkward situation either. What do they do?

In this case Funmale is damned either way and he is treading on eggshells. Even if he gives this person a way to back out, and they are indeed the person he thinks they are, then even if they deny it, they will always feel awkward around them, and he around them. Little is really gained.

I do agree that it is preferable that he approach them online rather than in real life, although it could be handled in real life too.

 

[Mischka]

In this case Funmale is damned either way and he is treading on eggshells. Even if he gives this person a way to back out, and they are indeed the person he thinks they are, then even if they deny it, they will always feel awkward around them, and he around them.

Since I haven't posted anything in Lit that I would be embarrassed if the real world knew, I can't really get into your hypothetical. But as for the awkward situation at hand, I'm going with marxist on this one. We are all adults here. If a person posts enough information about themselves on-line (especially including full photographs of themselves), then they must know there is a chance that someone may recognize them in their off-line lives. The time to feel awkward is before a person posyts intimate pictures of themselves, not afterwards.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

The time to feel awkward is before a person posyts intimate pictures of themselves, not afterwards.

That is a fine theory, but the reality is that it is more likely that the person would feel awkward than not. Not everybody is self assured and confident enough to handle such a situation. Would be that it were so - but until we become more sexually liberated than we are, we still have to take that into account.

We have come a long ways from the days of the puritans, but we are not there yet, and caution is advised.

 

[crystalhunting]

Considering how many Texans are around this place, it's likely that perhaps I could run into one of them, and I think it would be fun. If I had had the chance to visit crystalhunting's display in Dallas several month's back, I would have loved to have gone and seen him and his gorgeous creations in person.

You just made my day Mishka

Well the reality of the idea is this;

If any of you did come and see my displays,and identified yourself discreetly as someone from Lit.and I was familar with the name......there is a very BIG chance you would get a BIG discount from me.

as to my RL in a personal regard....Honesty upfront would be required.

Hell...if Cym or Myst came to one of my displays at a show,They would probaly get one on the house


CH

 

[cymbidia]

If a person posts enough information about themselves on-line (especially including full photographs of themselves), then they must know there is a chance that someone may recognize them in their off-line lives.

Another thing all y'all who post those glorious full-frontal nudity and full-face pics might want to think about: we're not the only ones who see your stuff.

I mean, we who post here daily, the nicks you know, those who play here out loud - we're not the only ones who see your pics.

There are a *bunch* of lurkers who read over our shoulders, too.
There are 2 or 3 times (or 10 or 17 or 72 times) as many people who never post anything but who will see these words - and your pics - as those who post often.

LOTS more people see your pics and read your thoughts than we're normally, consciously, aware of.

Most of them are just regular people, people like you and me.
Some of them are nuts.
Some of them live in your town and might play a minor (or major) role in your life.

What about that kid who always bags your groceries at the store? The gal you buy coffee from in the morning? The hostess at your favorite restaurant? The man who comes to clean your carpets? Your vet? Your daughter's science teacher?

Don't tell me that none of this is possible because *i* could be that person: i am a middle school science teacher. I taught for years in a small community wherein everyone, even the kids, all had their own computers. You think no one but me from that whole place ever came here? I don't.

My point is this: if you post anything here that could lead someone to identify you in your everyday life, then you're taking big risks, IMO. We are all fine, we few, we happy few, we band of miscreants. (Sorry, Shakespeare.)

It's all those OTHER people out there, which i remain concerned about.

Be careful about posting anything you wouldn't want to tell the woman handling the drive through window at your bank or the man who comes to mow your yard every Friday, building contractor in charge of your kitchen remodel OR that weird guy walking out of that store named Adult Books down where the hookers hang out on the weekends. Do you really want him carrying your pic around and identifying you by your Lit nick while you're in line for the movies?

Not me, thanks.

~~~~~
Addendum:

Really CH?
I'm really very flattered.
Maybe we could swap - some of my unmounted stones for something you've fashioned. I have a zillion unmounted faceted stones and i don't really nkow what to do with them all. They're gorgeous; you know that, but i'm not in the biz, i've just collected them over time cuz i think they're so beautiful. I don't even see them very often; most of them live in a big safe deposit box at the bank. I don't quite know what to do with them, either. I could will them to my daughter when i die but, well, that's a long way off, you know? (Crossing my fingers, knocking on wood.)
(Shut up. I am not superstitious.)

 

[MunchinMark]

Unless you arrange to meet in RL or one of you introduced the other to Lit. meeting a fellow Literotician and knowing it is about as likely as a white christmas in Honalulu. Even if you thought that someone looked like a picture you'd seen, the world's full of people who look like othe people.

I don't even give it a thought normally.

 

[s bob]

what as any of this got to do with my story or question, lets stick to what i askeed please

 

[cymbidia]

I don't even give it a thought normally.

I'm a teacher.
We have to think about it.
Being fired for violating the terms of the morals clauses pretty much ALL teachers have in our contracts would be a bummer, man.
Plus, no one would ever hire us again...

So, we think about it.

 

[felixdakat]

it's funny the same question went through my head a couple times. and i'd have to agree with the posters that say meet them with a pm first, this would give either party a chance to make their own personal resevations about meeting face to face. how ever it depends on the person, i'm sure with all the permicuality on the boards there are bound to be a few diseases. but, that is't just an idea for lit, but the internet in general. after all there are people who are harmed by crazy internet folk. angel this goes double for you.... be carefull who you introduce yourself to!

 

[Laurel]

I'd run like hell.

Only joking, of course.

Really!

 

[Siren]

I thought I saw Owen once in an alley in San Diego