What if you found out that your SO lied...

[Devilish1]

What would you do if you found out that your SO lied to you and you found out they had a criminal record that was a mile long?

Numberous D.U.I.'s, Demestic Violence against them, felony, Public drunk, open container, Assult with a deadly weapon etc....
You get the point.

 

[oceanbaby28]

What would you do if you found out that your SO lied to you and you found out they had a criminal record that was a mile long?

Numberous D.U.I.'s, Demestic Violence against them, felony, Public drunk, open container, Assult with a deadly weapon etc....
You get the point.

Honestly, in a very low key kinda way I'd scoot my way out of his life.

Might not be that easy or simple.

I just don't think I'd have enough love or care for someone that went out of their way to lie about anything, least of all a laundry list as long as that.

Hope this was just a what if and not a real life thing for you sweetie... Good luck if it is.

Hugs

 

[Guest]

If you live together, get out. Leave quickly, quietly, get your stuff and go. The situation sounds very frightening to me.

The alcohol is one thing, but the serious issue I think would be the assault charges and domestic abuse problems. He's shown no evidence of this so far?

Confrontation may be dangerous - make sure you have people with you when you have to talk with him about it.

Good luck - so sorry.

Just curious - how did you find out about it?

 

[Lasher]

I couldn't abide by anyone who broke an open container law. Just the thought of it is making me ill....

I just can't go on now. Sorry.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Kill him in his sleep.

Why?

 

[glamorilla]

sounds like you're dating my little brother.

Quickly scooting myself out of his life sounds like good advice to me...unless you like that sort of thing and it depends on the kind of guy he is with you. Even the saintliest of men can be assholes. I don't think people can change so much as learn but I'm never keen on the idea of giving someone a "second chance" at the possible risk of your safety.

 

[glamorilla]

if he was really good in bed i'd suggest stealing a car together.

 

[brokenbrainwave]

gee and I thought it sucked when I found out the wifey had a list of driving offenses a mile long after adding her to my auto insurance. I am not being a smartass honestly, I now feel bad for going ape shit ballistic over her not telling me the truth. I suppose if I got really pissed over that, well really pissed over what she did to my premium, I would have been mad enough to leave if the criteria you gave had been the issue.

 

[crysede]

I'd smile sweetly, say I needed to go freshen up, then climb out the bathroom window and run like hell.

Well, honestly, I'd actually try to find out more about exactly what they'd lied about, and why they'd lied - they could have been trying to covering up past drug or alcohol abuse problems, rather being an inherently badassed, violent SOB.

 

[SimGuy]

If he's not being honest about the past, then the past hasn't been dealt with. It's just waiting for the right trigger to erupt into a very ugly present.

There are enough GOOD men out there that you don't need to wonder about or try to reform this guy.

Another thing to consider....even though he hasn't told you about the past, his basic personality is going to show characteristics of this type of behavior pattern. If this ISN"T the type of guy you honestly want to be with, need to consider what drew you to him in the first place and see if there is a pattern in relationships that you need to break out of.

My 2cents, for what it's worth.

 

[Problem Child]

Kill him in his sleep.

Why?

Garrotte, or silenced .22 to the back of the head?

 

[sunstruck]

Kill him in his sleep.

Why?

I agree with Muffin. When ever Hubby gets too tempermental (and for him that's just a lot of yelling and turning red) I remind him that he has to sleep sometime.

 

[ma_guy]

What would you do if you found out that your SO lied to you and you found out they had a criminal record that was a mile long?

Numberous D.U.I.'s, Demestic Violence against them, felony, Public drunk, open container, Assult with a deadly weapon etc....
You get the point.

Convince them to move to a state with a "3 stikes and your out" law and then talk them into doing something illegal. Then I'd call the cops and tip them off so that she'd be caught red handed.

I'd be nice about it though.. I'd send a box of brownies to her in prison once a year...

 

[sexy-girl]

my S.O does have a criminal record a mile long

 

[Ms_Lilith]

What would you do if you found out that your SO lied to you and you found out they had a criminal record that was a mile long?

Numberous D.U.I.'s, Demestic Violence against them, felony, Public drunk, open container, Assult with a deadly weapon etc....
You get the point.

He'd be on the curb faster than you can say Incarceration. And then I'd change my locks, change my number... hell might even move.

 

[Quiet_Cool]

What would you do if you found out that your SO lied to you and you found out they had a criminal record that was a mile long?

Numberous D.U.I.'s, Demestic Violence against them, felony, Public drunk, open container, Assult with a deadly weapon etc....
You get the point.

(sarcastically) Hmmm....a woman? Lie?

In truth, over something like that, I'd be less concerned, save for a few details. A confrontation might not be a good idea, especially given the domestic abuse. If you're frightened or even scared of him, don't talk to him, whether there are people around or not. I know someone else suggested that you have others around, but it's less important to get things off your chest to him than it is not to be hit or attacked, or even stalked because of the after effects. Other people can make a situation more threatening for him, especially when they are concerning your associatin with him, a private one. That can, often does, only make things worse.
Get out is the key advice here, and don't go back, no matter what. And as Simguy said, take a look back at your relationship history (all of them, not just this relationship) and see if there's a pattern that got you where you are. It's not your fault if there is, but find a way to break the cycle.

Leave, don't look back.

 

[Weird Harold]

What would you do if you found out that your SO lied to you and you found out they had a criminal record that was a mile long?

A lot would depend on whether they"lied" or just "failed to mention" -- there is a difference.

If I had that kind of police blotter, I'd be reluctant to say anything about that part of may past, but I wouldn't avoid a direct question about it either.

That particular list of arrests and charges could be indicative that this is a person you don't want to be around because they don't have any control over themselves.

It also could be the past record of a recovering alcoholic tht is entirely the result of being an alcoholic -- and therefore no present danger as long as they stay "on the wagon."

Presumably, you know the person, snce thy're your SO, and have some idea whether they're currently controlling their drinking and anger and are safe to communicate with about this.

I do think that an impartial witness/bodyguard would be a good idea when/if you confront them.

 

[koalabear]

What would you do if you found out that your SO lied to you and you found out they had a criminal record that was a mile long?

Numberous D.U.I.'s, Demestic Violence against them, felony, Public drunk, open container, Assult with a deadly weapon etc....
You get the point.

They become the ex-SO.

 

[Devilish1]

Re: Re: What if you found out that your SO lied...

Hope this was just a what if and not a real life thing for you sweetie... Good luck if it is.

Hugs

I wished it was just a "What if" but its not.
I found out a few weeks ago that the man i truly loved had lied to me repeatly about everything.
The one thing i asked him if he had ever been in trouble with the law and he said no. I found out later he lied.

 

[Devilish1]

Re: Re: What if you found out that your SO lied...

A lot would depend on whether they"lied" or just "failed to mention" -- there is a difference.

If I had that kind of police blotter, I'd be reluctant to say anything about that part of may past, but I wouldn't avoid a direct question about it either.

That particular list of arrests and charges could be indicative that this is a person you don't want to be around because they don't have any control over themselves.

It also could be the past record of a recovering alcoholic tht is entirely the result of being an alcoholic -- and therefore no present danger as long as they stay "on the wagon."

Presumably, you know the person, snce thy're your SO, and have some idea whether they're currently controlling their drinking and anger and are safe to communicate with about this.

I do think that an impartial witness/bodyguard would be a good idea when/if you confront them.

Well they did both, they lied about their past and fail to mention that they did have a criminal past.

I do know the person, we had dated some last year and this year i thought we was going to finally get together, things didnt work out and a good friend told me things just didnt sound right to them about my SO.

 

[deliciously_naughty]

I'd dump his ass...sorry babe

 

[Devilish1]

if he was really good in bed i'd suggest stealing a car together.

LMAO he wasnt that good in bed... he could had been though but i know he was also doing drugs and that kept him from being the lover i knew he could be.( I didnt know he was doing drugs at the time, found that out later)

 

[Devilish1]

Re: Re: What if you found out that your SO lied...

He'd be on the curb faster than you can say Incarceration. And then I'd change my locks, change my number... hell might even move.

Ive already told him that if he contacts me that i will have a Order of protection serve against him.

 

[Devilish1]

If he's not being honest about the past, then the past hasn't been dealt with. It's just waiting for the right trigger to erupt into a very ugly present.

There are enough GOOD men out there that you don't need to wonder about or try to reform this guy.

Another thing to consider....even though he hasn't told you about the past, his basic personality is going to show characteristics of this type of behavior pattern. If this ISN"T the type of guy you honestly want to be with, need to consider what drew you to him in the first place and see if there is a pattern in relationships that you need to break out of.

My 2cents, for what it's worth.

Any other time i would say that his" type" is why i was attracted to him in the first place but thats not the case here.

He was totally different than any man ive ever know( In more ways than one).
He was a family man( loved his children), wanted a family( we talked about having children together"Someday")
He was a hard working man.
At the time i thought he was very honest with me.

He didnt drink very much( that was a lie 2nd DUI he has now)
He told me he hhas never done drugs, was never interested in doing them( WAS a HUGE lie, i think hes doing either meth. or crack)

He painted himself to be the nice guy that just wanted a family.

Not the bad ass boy he seems to be.

 

[Devilish1]

Re: Re: What if you found out that your SO lied...

Convince them to move to a state with a "3 stikes and your out" law and then talk them into doing something illegal. Then I'd call the cops and tip them off so that she'd be caught red handed.

I'd be nice about it though.. I'd send a box of brownies to her in prison once a year...

I do know hes being watched very closely by all the countys in his area and also mine. He will get his.....
See Sig below.