What exactly turns you on about your wife or girlfriend being with another man? Past or Present?

[PFWilly]

Specifically, the mental images I can call up of the wild night she had with our very good friend while I was sleeping. She eventually told me in exquisite detail about how they had fucked four times that night. She also lovingly told me about how much she enjoyed the fucking, but also the two times she had his big cock shooting off in her mouth. She only talked a little bit about him licking her cunt to orgasm a few times.

Since I’d also enjoyed his cock in my mouth on separate occasions, and had seen her pussy a few times too, it was easy to conjure up images…lol. The one scene I most frequently consider is the first time they fucked, her bent over the kitchen table as his long cock pushed in…all the way.

 

[UtilityCurve]

Knowing she's carnal and not just having sex with me for love and commitment is the best turn on for me.

You've hit on the nub of the gist if it for me.

Because they are known to tend to our egos, it is possible for men to discount the magnitude of pleasure our partners often proclaim as their genuine experience, or worse their desire for sex at all (Most guys would prefer not to examine this thesis closely, and I think rightly so.)

But if a woman, particularly a wife, transgresses social norms that particularly weigh on women (fidelity, monogamy) by having sex with (a) man/men not her committed partner, there's a strong presumption that she really, REALLY enjoys sex as such.

In this way, a hot or shared wife "proves" that when she says she enjoys sex with you, it is first and foremost the sex she enjoys. You are icing.

Husbands might ask themselves, given a choice between your wife's pleasure from having sex with you being 90% attributable to the physical sensations and actions and 10% because it is her lawfully-wedded spouse behind them, or 90% him and only 10% the actual contact.

The more a husband weighs in on the side of sex over identity, I think the more likely he enjoys hotwife/wife-sharing porn and erotica.

 

[Burstplayer]

You've hit on the nub of the gist if it for me.

Because they are known to tend to our egos, it is possible for men to discount the magnitude of pleasure our partners often proclaim as their genuine experience, or worse their desire for sex at all (Most guys would prefer not to examine this thesis closely, and I think rightly so.)

But if a woman, particularly a wife, transgresses social norms that particularly weigh on women (fidelity, monogamy) by having sex with (a) man/men not her committed partner, there's a strong presumption that she really, REALLY enjoys sex as such.

In this way, a hot or shared wife "proves" that when she says she enjoys sex with you, it is first and foremost the sex she enjoys. You are icing.

Husbands might ask themselves, given a choice between your wife's pleasure from having sex with you being 90% attributable to the physical sensations and actions and 10% because it is her lawfully-wedded spouse behind them, or 90% him and only 10% the actual contact.

The more a husband weighs in on the side of sex over identity, I think the more likely he enjoys hotwife/wife-sharing porn and erotica.

Excellent analysis...I've always had a hard time articulating this to my wife. I'd rather her be sexual in nature by herself with HER desires and needs on display. It's far more attractive to me. It's not needed to validate her attractiveness to men so much, I know that, but its to see her in her purest carnal needs, trying her best to satisfying them, makes her VERY hot.

 

[Nellie60]

Excellent analysis...I've always had a hard time articulating this to my wife. I'd rather her be sexual in nature by herself with HER desires and needs on display. It's far more attractive to me. It's not needed to validate her attractiveness to men so much, I know that, but its to see her in her purest carnal needs, trying her best to satisfying them, makes her VERY hot.

Seeing one ex girlfriend get overwhelmed with excitement when she gave a handjob to another man still etched in my mind. The facial expressions and her pleasure was all hers and his of course. Knowing she really was turned on is a big factor and not just pleasing me or him

 

[Islander55]

You've hit on the nub of the gist if it for me.

Because they are known to tend to our egos, it is possible for men to discount the magnitude of pleasure our partners often proclaim as their genuine experience, or worse their desire for sex at all (Most guys would prefer not to examine this thesis closely, and I think rightly so.)

But if a woman, particularly a wife, transgresses social norms that particularly weigh on women (fidelity, monogamy) by having sex with (a) man/men not her committed partner, there's a strong presumption that she really, REALLY enjoys sex as such.

In this way, a hot or shared wife "proves" that when she says she enjoys sex with you, it is first and foremost the sex she enjoys. You are icing.

Husbands might ask themselves, given a choice between your wife's pleasure from having sex with you being 90% attributable to the physical sensations and actions and 10% because it is her lawfully-wedded spouse behind them, or 90% him and only 10% the actual contact.

The more a husband weighs in on the side of sex over identity, I think the more likely he enjoys hotwife/wife-sharing porn and erotica.

The other issue is that many people enjoy some variety. It is not about being bigger or better, etc. but just someone different. Each man is a little bit different in how they feel or how they fuck.

 

[Burstplayer]

Seeing one ex girlfriend get overwhelmed with excitement when she gave a handjob to another man still etched in my mind. The facial expressions and her pleasure was all hers and his of course. Knowing she really was turned on is a big factor and not just pleasing me or him

I also think the inverse is true as well. Even very attractive women who show little to no interest in sex besides what is just expected of them in a relationship and never express desires, fantasies and show willingness to be attractive to other men, just don't make me want them at all. If that inner flame to sex is never developed or shown, it's a big turnoff.

 

[Nellie60]

I also think the inverse is true as well. Even very attractive women who show little to no interest in sex besides what is just expected of them in a relationship and never express desires, fantasies and show willingness to be attractive to other men, just don't make me want them at all. If that inner flame to sex is never developed or shown, it's a big turnoff.

Agree I have had two ex girlfriends who really got into pleasing me not as a duty but got workup big time. Makes a gigantic differences in how exciting the experience is.

 

[zoso682001]

Agree I have had two ex girlfriends who really got into pleasing me not as a duty but got workup big time. Makes a gigantic differences in how exciting the experience is.

Absolutely , attitude is everything .

 

[Sgts19]

Getting to see her face and reactions when she's having a toe curling orgasm from a different perspective and / or angle .
The quivering , lip biting and leg shaking . Very Hot ! Her enjoyment is mine too .

You nailed it. The different way she moves, the look on her face, the noises and things she says all totally different than with me. I'm sure her fucking the same guy...me..for so many years gets sort of ho hum.

 

[LMWM321]

I've explained numerous times (on many threads) why, after 20 years of marriage, I decided to give my wife permission to occasionally be with other men. But I was NOT given the same permission.

So why did I make this offer without expecting it in return?

Put simply, as my wife neared 50 I felt her overall interest in sex was waning. Though I assumed some of it was related to menopause, I felt it might also be due to the simple fact that she's been with the same man (me!) >3000 times (2-3 times per wk for 35 years), without being with someone else. In other words, she was getting a bit bored of being with just Me. So I told her she was free to occasionally be with other men so long as she was honest with me about it and prioritized her safety and being discrete so our friends and family didn't find out.

So why not demand the same permission in return? Well, I’m as horny for my wife at 60 as I was at 30, so I don't NEED this sort of remedy. Plus my wife has doubts about my ability to have sex with another woman without becoming attached. Before we met, she had sex with lots of guys but fell in love with none of them. For me, on the other hand, she was my first and I quickly fell in love with her. We did break up for 9 months, during which I had other partners, but she was my first, then later became my wife. Of the two of us I’m the more clingy and romantic and I guess she thinks these are risk factors for my becoming attached to another woman after a one-night fling. So she made it clear that while she appreciated my giving her this sexual latitude, she was not comfortable giving it to me. And she needed assurance that I was not making my offer contingent on this.

As to the kinky aspect of all this… Yes, the idea of her being with someone else for no-strings-sex excites me, even more than the thought of my being with another woman. But here's the thing - being with my wife after being with another man would feel like I'm having sex with a different woman. Yes, she's the wonderful, beautiful wife she's always been, but there would be something different about her. The precise reasons elude me.

But I don’t put ANY pressure on her to do it. She has my sincerely and repeatedly expressed permission and that’s as far as I’ll go. If it happens, good for her! If not, well… I’m loving how just giving her permission to do so seems to have improved her overall sexual swagger.

 

[artgorden]

My bi side is submissive. Not fem but like a lesser man. My favorite thing is blowing a
Man who fucks my wife better than I could.

 

[Stargatefan78]

I want to eat her pussy after other man has cum inside your pussy.

 

[Dreamer110]

That she's cumming home to me and all the benefits she brings.

 

[Paul01uk]

For me, when my wife had a lover for 15 months it was seeing and hearing her enjoying herself with him and usually with me as well. Also seeing him get so excited at having me wife and her doing anything he wanted. Now, years later, I have suggested, as I can no longer fully satisfy her, that she rekindles her relationship with an old boyfriend we both met recently. I would be delighted for her to enjoy great sex and, provided she agreed, for him to have her in any way he wanted. Happy to discuss. Paul