What do you think this means?

[Melody_lane]

OKay, a brief history---

I've been dating this guy for about 5.5 months now.
He's 42.
I'm 21.
Obviously, we both realized, fairly early on, that we weren't 'it' for each other. Unfortunately, we have a great relationship. We get along incredibly well. We laugh all the time, we have mouth-wateringly hot sex, and we are actually able to talk to each other.

Two nights ago, he asked me a question. He asked me if I ever wondered why it was he and I got along so well. Honestly, I never had.

Here's my question...(I know, I'm LONG winded).

It's not so much why it is we get along, but why he asked that question.

Could he be second guessing whether or not we are 'it' for each other? Or am I just looking too much into this shit? Wishful thinking, perhaps?

I hate relationship bullshit like this.

 

[Guest]

 

[koalabear]

Well, if all your looking for is laughs and great sex stick with him.

 

[Laurel]

A Melody_Lane Sighting!!!!

Holy Shit! HI MELODY!!!

 

[patient1]

Why do you laugh so much if you don't talk?

Do you make funny faces , or just tickle each other?

 

[Scabbers]

Maybe you should have asked him. If your hashing out what's going on in each other's heads, you should be talking to each other.

The answers to your questions are "yes," "yes" and "yes." It could be, you might be, and perhaps.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

If you think too hard on it...you can just start making the shit up in your head... Reading into more then is really there. I'm sure I am going to get slammed for it...but a lot of women do this (not saying you do or are..and sweet jesus I would never say any of the lovely women of lit do) But a lot of women I know...will spend hours thinking about their relationship...destroying it over something he says and most times it really means nothing more, then what he said.

 

[Ice Cold]

Sometimes guys just say things... without realizing there is an emotional signifigance that is attatched to it....

 

[Sillyman]

He was probably thinking something along the lines of what a lucky guy he was and he had been wondering the same thing himself and wanted to know if you had any ideas.

Or he may have just been fishing for compliments. I don't know the guy, so it's hard to say.

 

[morninggirl5]

The male philosophy that baffles me.


It is what it is. (Period. End of Discussion)

 

[LukkyKnight]

Excerpt from morninggirl5


Period. End of Discussion

Ah ha - at last I understand.

 

[Melody_lane]

HI LAUREL! What a bunch of newbies you've aquired!

It's more than great sex and laughs...


And I would have asked him, if I would have thought to at the time. I just answered his question at the time and thought back on it later, and found it to be an odd kind of question to ask. Of course, by that time, it was way later, and would look even more odd to re-hash an old topic. Ya know?

I probably will end up bringing it up again, just because it will drive me nuts until I do and he is likely the only one that can really give me an accurate answer.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Holy fuck, Carl reappears and now you.

My god.

Um, I ask silly questions like that all the time... not in a bad way just "Its seems strange but it works" so I dont fight things like that.

 

[KillerMuffin]

It's a guy thing. They rarely have ulterior motives in relationships beyond getting their woman naked.

Breathe a little and ask him. Chances are he was probably just digging into some existentialist philosophy or was wondering what a hottie like you saw in an old fart like him.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

was wondering what a hottie like you saw in an old fart like him.

THERE it is

 

[kotori]

Simple

Breathe a little and ask him. Chances are he . . . was wondering what a hottie like you saw in an old fart like him.

You're so succinct.

 

[The Gimp]

That's just one of those introspective guy kind of questions that leans torward the sensitive side, just take it at face value. I certainly hope that girls don't take me too seriously when I say stuff like that........

 

[freescorfr]

Sometimes guys just say things... without realizing there is an emotional signifigance that is attatched to it....

I find this a profound observation, Ice Cold - but is applies to the girls, too.

So what was he feeling when he said this to Melody_Jane? Not "What was he thinking?" , that's asking what conclusion he is drawing from a feeling he might not even have a word for: rather, what is he feeling??

Melody try and get him to find a word for his feeling. Really stick to asking him, "What do you feel when you say that?" rather than "What are you thinking?".

Was the feeling he had when asking you pleasant or unpleasant, comfortable or uncomfortable, exciting, curious, anxious,was he feeling desire for you, a need for reassurance, a wish to talk about his dreams - My suggestion is to put your hand between his belly button and his willy, look him in the eyes and say "When you ask me that, what is your feeling in there?"

 

[cottager]

over-analysis kills relationships

(at least in the view of this old fart)

 

[cottager]

over-analysis kills relationships

(at least in the view of this old fart)

or as Oscar Wilde put it

All thought is immoral. Its very essence is destructive. If you think of anything, you kill it. Nothing survives being thought of.

 

[Hamletmaschine]

I think you should take this question as a positive sign. If you want a translation, it means: "I have been thinking about why it is we get along so well. I think we get along well, but I don't know what you see in an old fart like me, and since I haven't a clue as to how relationships work, I want you to tell me whether you see any future in this, or whether you're just hanging around me for shits-n-giggles until some guy your own age comes along. Do you want us to work on developing this relationship, or not?"

translation provided by Hamletmaschine's Big Book of Man-Speak

 

[alexandraaah]

I'd chalk it up to thinking out loud; a statement that came out as a question.

I, however, haven't had a tolerable intimate relationship in some time.

 

[Vinny]

Could he be second guessing whether or not we are 'it' for each other? Or am I just looking too much into this shit? Wishful thinking, perhaps?

I hate relationship bullshit like this. [/B][/QUOTE]

I believe all relationships have some kind of BS. The reason being, you have to different people with different ideas no matter how alike they are. Try not to dig to deep into this. It very well could have been an honest question with no alterior motives.
Are you happy now?
Are you comfortable in this relationship?
If yes, feel pride in being with him and enjoy your life without worry. <hugs> Vincenzo

 

[VeryBadGirl]

He asked me if I ever wondered why it was he and I got along so well.

If his exact words were "Have you ever wondered why we get along so well?" maybe he was not really thinking about the relationship and it's depth and future, but was expecting a specific answer like..... "because we are both so _____ of course!"

What was the context? Were you in bed? Maybe he was referring to the good fit, or the simultaneous orgasm or that you both like a cig afterward. Maybe you had just expressed the same opinion of someone or something.

When you bring it up again, just choose a good "getting along" moment and then say "you're right, we DO get along well - I wonder why that is?" laugh laugh, see what he says...

VBG

 

[labrynth]

~ maybe he wonders how you both transcend your age diff ~ I would if i was 42...... a generation crossed by two people - maybe there IS something to it-