Ok, i suck at making titles (no pun intended) but anyway, me and my fiance have been together for about 3 years or so. I personally enjoy giving and recieving oral sex. she on the other hand doesnt enjoy giving oral. She has givin maybe 10 blowjobs and never let me finish during any of them. What can i do to increase her enjoyment of it? ive heard things like drinking pineapple juice to make your cum taste better but if it never gets that far theres not much point...
what do women enjoy about bj's? :p
- Thread starter Dreyk66
- Start date
I dont know if I'm in the majority or the minority, but I love to give blowjobs! It is one of my biggest turn ons, it makes me so wet I cant even understand it. I think its all about the kick I get out of watching my SO squirm. Knowing I'm in complete control and am the only thing occupying his mind. Its funny though because it used to be one of my top cringe-worthy activities. It just takes being comfortable and confident. It comes with time.
As for the taste of cum, I dont particularly care for it, but am of the mindset that spitting is rude. I do understand, however, why some girls just wont swallow. I find that making my SO eat different things to try to change the taste doesn't really work.
In terms of how to help your fiance, try telling her what about giving HER oral you enjoy. About control and the kick you get out of making her writhe in pleasure. Maybe the thought of that will appeal to her. Also, when she DOES decide to go down, if you talk to her and tell her all that great stuff women like to hear ("damn you look hot doing that" "That feels so amazing" .... anything encouraging) that could also improve her confidence. Id take it very slow. If its the taste or the shock of your cum in her mouth, make sure you talk to her and tell her when you're about to blow, or suggest that when you're about to cum, you can pull out.
I think baby steps is probably the key here... hope this helps, or at least gives you a couple things to think about
As for the taste of cum, I dont particularly care for it, but am of the mindset that spitting is rude. I do understand, however, why some girls just wont swallow. I find that making my SO eat different things to try to change the taste doesn't really work.
In terms of how to help your fiance, try telling her what about giving HER oral you enjoy. About control and the kick you get out of making her writhe in pleasure. Maybe the thought of that will appeal to her. Also, when she DOES decide to go down, if you talk to her and tell her all that great stuff women like to hear ("damn you look hot doing that" "That feels so amazing" .... anything encouraging) that could also improve her confidence. Id take it very slow. If its the taste or the shock of your cum in her mouth, make sure you talk to her and tell her when you're about to blow, or suggest that when you're about to cum, you can pull out.
I think baby steps is probably the key here... hope this helps, or at least gives you a couple things to think about
onebadkitty
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I think it's one of those things that, the more you do it, the better you get; and the better you get, the more you enjoy doing it.
I wasn't all that fond of it at first (many, many moons ago), but now that I know what I'm doing, I really, really like it. There's something very sexy about being in complete control of your man. Just keep encouraging her to do it, and tell her how wonderful it feels. I think with more experience, she'll like it more.
Good Luck!
P.S. Try a little porn. She'll get some tips without you having to instruct her, which can sometimes be a little embarrassing for some girls.
I wasn't all that fond of it at first (many, many moons ago), but now that I know what I'm doing, I really, really like it. There's something very sexy about being in complete control of your man. Just keep encouraging her to do it, and tell her how wonderful it feels. I think with more experience, she'll like it more.
Good Luck!
P.S. Try a little porn. She'll get some tips without you having to instruct her, which can sometimes be a little embarrassing for some girls.
onebadkitty
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Oh, and I forgot to say. Let her do it a few times before you actually cum with her doing it. The thought of you spewing in her mouth may be a little intimidating, too. Once she gets the BJ thing out of the way, then you can move on to the "do I spit, or swallow" thing.
Eilan
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I love to give my husband a blow job, but it's not about having a penis in my mouth. It's about doing something for/to my husband that brings him great pleasure.
Communicate, communicate, communicate! Have you told her what you're telling us? If not, you need to. Nonconfrontational communication outside the bedroom is the place to start. Don't place blame or make her feel inadequate; that approach will get you nowhere.
Has she had past experiences that were negative? Did she have an extremely conservative upbringing? If the answer's yes, then she might have some trouble with the idea that oral sex is OK.
Don't pressure her. If you push the issue, she'll likely pull away.
Finally, this is pretty much a no-brainer, but make sure you're clean. Nobody wants go down on someone, male or female, who hasn't washed in a while. I'm NOT saying that's the case with you, so don't take offense! Sometimes I know when my husband would like a BJ, because he'll go "wash up." Also--trim a bit or shave (whatever you're comfortable with) to reduce the chance of her choking on pubes.
Good luck and welcome to Lit!
Communicate, communicate, communicate! Have you told her what you're telling us? If not, you need to. Nonconfrontational communication outside the bedroom is the place to start. Don't place blame or make her feel inadequate; that approach will get you nowhere.
Has she had past experiences that were negative? Did she have an extremely conservative upbringing? If the answer's yes, then she might have some trouble with the idea that oral sex is OK.
Don't pressure her. If you push the issue, she'll likely pull away.
Finally, this is pretty much a no-brainer, but make sure you're clean. Nobody wants go down on someone, male or female, who hasn't washed in a while. I'm NOT saying that's the case with you, so don't take offense! Sometimes I know when my husband would like a BJ, because he'll go "wash up." Also--trim a bit or shave (whatever you're comfortable with) to reduce the chance of her choking on pubes.
Good luck and welcome to Lit!
onebadkitty
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Eilan said:I love to give my husband a blow job, but it's not about having a penis in my mouth. It's about doing something for/to my husband that brings him great pleasure.
Communicate, communicate, communicate! Have you told her what you're telling us? If not, you need to. Nonconfrontational communication outside the bedroom is the place to start. Don't place blame or make her feel inadequate; that approach will get you nowhere.
Has she had past experiences that were negative? Did she have an extremely conservative upbringing? If the answer's yes, then she might have some trouble with the idea that oral sex is OK.
Don't pressure her. If you push the issue, she'll likely pull away.
Finally, this is pretty much a no-brainer, but make sure you're clean. Nobody wants go down on someone, male or female, who hasn't washed in a while. I'm NOT saying that's the case with you, so don't take offense! Sometimes I know when my husband would like a BJ, because he'll go "wash up." Also--trim a bit or shave (whatever you're comfortable with) to reduce the chance of her choking on pubes.
Good luck and welcome to Lit!
Very Good Advice! How could I have forgotten the "washing' thing? I think it's time for a nap.
Cakegirl
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I too used to hate this act when I was younger. The first BJ I gave was in a kind of forced situation, and I hated it. I then spent a LONG time not doing it, and even when I got close to one particular partner, I couldn't do it. I wanted so much to blow him, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, or to talk to him about it - those first few experiences had been SO bad.
However, with time, and reading a lot of lit, I sort of overcame my issues in my head, so that when I was actually with a partner, I was much more ready to do it. I'm by no means a BJ expert, but I initiate now, and I know he likes it 
!
As for what I like about it, the same as other women have said - I like being able to give him pleasure exclusively, allowing him time to focus on the good feelings he's getting rather than on my pleasure. I like the feeling of control, and hey, I like feeling slutty down on my knees with a dick in my mouth LOL!
However, with time, and reading a lot of lit
, I sort of overcame my issues in my head, so that when I was actually with a partner, I was much more ready to do it. I'm by no means a BJ expert, but I initiate now, and I know he likes it ! As for what I like about it, the same as other women have said - I like being able to give him pleasure exclusively, allowing him time to focus on the good feelings he's getting rather than on my pleasure. I like the feeling of control, and hey, I like feeling slutty down on my knees with a dick in my mouth LOL!
thanks to you that have posted... and i understand the clean thing... thats already a stipulation which i fully understand and dont mind hehe.... somebody mentioned something else that i have a question about... what if a guy cant cum standing up?... have any of you ever known somebody like that?
VirginDebs
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I know I LOVE doing it, but cant explain why I love it so much...
All I know is I jump at the chance at any possible moment and when I do do it I end up dripping wet!!!
All I know is I jump at the chance at any possible moment and when I do do it I end up dripping wet!!!
XblueyedevilX
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i think its the thought that counts
most wemon love even the littlest things about relationships such as roses or just hearing your thinking about them. as guys this might seem a little odd for us but girls love it, or at least thats what ive noticed. if you tell her how much you enjoy it and that you couldnt stop wthinking about it that might encourage her. id be gental when you say this hope not to sounf fixated. also try giving her oral and finding what she likes i personaly love giving my partner oral its an excuse to make her feel good and you dont have to get spent to do it keep the little things in mind always try to please her first and i garuntee she'll be more open to sujgestions when you asker her nicly.
most wemon love even the littlest things about relationships such as roses or just hearing your thinking about them. as guys this might seem a little odd for us but girls love it, or at least thats what ive noticed. if you tell her how much you enjoy it and that you couldnt stop wthinking about it that might encourage her. id be gental when you say this hope not to sounf fixated. also try giving her oral and finding what she likes i personaly love giving my partner oral its an excuse to make her feel good and you dont have to get spent to do it keep the little things in mind always try to please her first and i garuntee she'll be more open to sujgestions when you asker her nicly.
lilevilpunk
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Dreyk66 said:
Your SO and I have that in common; however I have finished my man once or twice. I enjoy giving the blow jobs and maybe the reason why I dont finish him more often is for the simple fact that I am an extreme gaggerwhen it comes to certian things in my mouth. I cant stand spit I will puke and when I tried to swallow I wanted to puke
miss_kate
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I love BJ's- but i cannot finish them (because of my tendancy to gag). I know that some girls find the idea of someone cumming in their mouth to be disgusting- and also a little daunting so steer clear of the situation of oral.
Maybe your chickie is the same as me- worried that she cannot finish you off for some reason or other? or perhaps ur 'man-meat' intimidates her??
Maybe your chickie is the same as me- worried that she cannot finish you off for some reason or other? or perhaps ur 'man-meat' intimidates her??
silverwhisper
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the women w/ whom i've spoken have pointed to a few things they enjoy about giving head. while i'm listing them in an order, no implication re: importance is intended:
1. doing sometehing for their partner that he enjoys.
2. power. b/c really, if she has it in her mouth, you aren't doing very much of anything, nine times out of ten. :>
3. the sensation of the flesh is smooth, warm and velvety.
and it should go w/out saying that what eilan said is good stuff.
ed
1. doing sometehing for their partner that he enjoys.
2. power. b/c really, if she has it in her mouth, you aren't doing very much of anything, nine times out of ten. :>
3. the sensation of the flesh is smooth, warm and velvety.
and it should go w/out saying that what eilan said is good stuff.
ed
niteloser
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It's not something you can ask for. I know that I am less likely to give a BJ and enjoy it when it is asked for. If I start it I will finish it no matter how long it takes. Though I don't like going down for more than 20 minutes. Makes my jaw ache. I have always liked the flavor of cum so it is easy for me. I'm sure some people don't, and your girl may be one of them.
Eilan
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My husband doesn't seem to have any trouble. However, I can't concentrate on standing and trying to cum at the same time! I don't see where it's that big of a deal. Most of the time, when I give my husband a blow job, we're either in bed or he's seated, so it's a nonissue.Dreyk66 said:
Silkie Butterfly
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Games....
When I first got with my guy I was really shy about blowjobs, especially coming from a relationship where I was basically told that I could use improvement. My current however loves them and used to complain about the lack of oral stimulation on my part. Then a friend gave him some ideas and they really worked.
Try sex games. Not necessarily the cheasy board games or card games in the adult stores....but something basic. We started with a 52 card set of love cards, you have 3 catagories with a mixture of cards and each draws until they get one out of all 3...(of course be sure to take the absolute no no's out first to make sure nobody is uncomfortable), then they act them out. This can be really fun because there is no thinking involved...you just do.
Another game we played was one where you start out on eachother's laps and one leads while the other follows...you do what I do. If I kiss your neck, you lean down and kiss mine, etc etc...rotating your bodies to match the other. This can tend to lead pretty fast into a 69 position and I found giving head in the beginning a lot more enjoyable when my partner was giving as well.
Not all games will work and maybe you need to just get creative, do some research till you find the ones that will work for you. Perhaps she doesn't feel confident, or gets embarrassed when you are looking at her, all bent over with that rod in her mouth. Try turning off some lights, maybe mutual favors where you are busy doing something else (eating her) while she is giving you oral attention. That definately worked for me at first because I was shy and insecure and being under his watchful eye was a bit intimidating at first. Took too much concentration trying to be seductive and pay attention to what he liked.
Most importantly, talk to her. Ask her why she is uncomfortable and how you may help. Let her know that oral sex is something you really enjoy and would like to be part of your relationship, but also let her know that it's not degrading. Some women feel having a penus in their mouth while on their knees makes them a whore, but don't mind laying between his legs and *kissing* him. Also let her go at her own pace, maybe refrain from touching her head or thrusting your hips until she's more comfortable. If you are large, let her know it's "ok" not to take it all in, that you understand it may be uncomfortable and show her how to stroke it or..be a champ and offer to "hold" it for her while she licks it...just be careful not to punch her in the nose in a heat of passion (giggles).
Hope this helped, and remember, this may just not be your thing. If not you need to make a decision, can you go a lifetime with no oral sex? If not, don't keep this going too long or it can only end badly when she realizes that you are not satisfied and you just end up being another "asshole" on the list.
When I first got with my guy I was really shy about blowjobs, especially coming from a relationship where I was basically told that I could use improvement. My current however loves them and used to complain about the lack of oral stimulation on my part. Then a friend gave him some ideas and they really worked.
Try sex games. Not necessarily the cheasy board games or card games in the adult stores....but something basic. We started with a 52 card set of love cards, you have 3 catagories with a mixture of cards and each draws until they get one out of all 3...(of course be sure to take the absolute no no's out first to make sure nobody is uncomfortable), then they act them out. This can be really fun because there is no thinking involved...you just do.
Another game we played was one where you start out on eachother's laps and one leads while the other follows...you do what I do. If I kiss your neck, you lean down and kiss mine, etc etc...rotating your bodies to match the other. This can tend to lead pretty fast into a 69 position and I found giving head in the beginning a lot more enjoyable when my partner was giving as well.
Not all games will work and maybe you need to just get creative, do some research till you find the ones that will work for you. Perhaps she doesn't feel confident, or gets embarrassed when you are looking at her, all bent over with that rod in her mouth. Try turning off some lights, maybe mutual favors where you are busy doing something else (eating her) while she is giving you oral attention. That definately worked for me at first because I was shy and insecure and being under his watchful eye was a bit intimidating at first. Took too much concentration trying to be seductive and pay attention to what he liked.
Most importantly, talk to her. Ask her why she is uncomfortable and how you may help. Let her know that oral sex is something you really enjoy and would like to be part of your relationship, but also let her know that it's not degrading. Some women feel having a penus in their mouth while on their knees makes them a whore, but don't mind laying between his legs and *kissing* him. Also let her go at her own pace, maybe refrain from touching her head or thrusting your hips until she's more comfortable. If you are large, let her know it's "ok" not to take it all in, that you understand it may be uncomfortable and show her how to stroke it or..be a champ and offer to "hold" it for her while she licks it...just be careful not to punch her in the nose in a heat of passion (giggles).
Hope this helped, and remember, this may just not be your thing. If not you need to make a decision, can you go a lifetime with no oral sex? If not, don't keep this going too long or it can only end badly when she realizes that you are not satisfied and you just end up being another "asshole" on the list.
Etaski
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Had a Freudian slip....I mean, thought
I'm fairly convinced that there is a spectrum of enjoyment among people in giving oral sex, based both on their experiences and their tendencies.
Many lovely ladies here have described their experiences for liking it or not-so-much.
But there's also this thing Freud called an "oral fixation". I have that; I have always, always adored oral sensations, and it translated very easily as an adult into giving "excellent" blow jobs (according to the recipients). Think about it; why do some people just love lollipops and popsicles?
Oh! That's actually reminds me of a hint I read in a book: maybe your lady likes Lifesavers or other hard, sucking candies? Because sometimes putting a Lifesaver on the tip of your cock and letting her slurp away can be fun and tasty. It also increases saliva production, which gives things better "slip-n-slide" and feels better for both involved. (I don't know if anyone's experienced an "on the dry side" blow job, but they exist!)
I'm fairly convinced that there is a spectrum of enjoyment among people in giving oral sex, based both on their experiences and their tendencies.
Many lovely ladies here have described their experiences for liking it or not-so-much.
But there's also this thing Freud called an "oral fixation". I have that; I have always, always adored oral sensations, and it translated very easily as an adult into giving "excellent" blow jobs (according to the recipients). Think about it; why do some people just love lollipops and popsicles?
Oh! That's actually reminds me of a hint I read in a book: maybe your lady likes Lifesavers or other hard, sucking candies? Because sometimes putting a Lifesaver on the tip of your cock and letting her slurp away can be fun and tasty. It also increases saliva production, which gives things better "slip-n-slide" and feels better for both involved. (I don't know if anyone's experienced an "on the dry side" blow job, but they exist!)
