What did your parents tell you?

[Patryn]

I just read that thread about what you will or did tell your kids regarding sex and sexuality. Now I wonder...what did your parents tell you, and do you think it effects or will effect how you look at sex and/or what you tell your kids?

As for me, when I was old enough to start asking questions, my mom had "the talk" with me. Then when I was older and a little curious, she was actually quite open with me (or so I thought)...she told me things like, if you ever need to talk about something that happened, or something you need to know about, like birth control, I'd sooner I know about it and have you safe. I may not like it, but I'd prefer you to be open.

Then, when I was a young teen, like 14 or 15, I suppose she suspected that I was masturbating...and proceeded to tell me it was perverted. Then, when I was 16 and with the guy I eventually lost my virginity to, she did EVERYTHING IN HER POWER to keep me away from him, to break us up, to tell me anything we did was dirty or wrong....so much for being open...

Actually, it had the reverse effect in that I just wanted to experiment MORE, partly to defy her, and also, due to other reason, I hated her intensely. That, and if I wasn't supposed to do it, there must be a reason, and I was sure as hell gonna find out what it was.

I knew, even then that the curiosity was normal, the experimentation was normal, and masturbation was perfectly natural....but it's hard to excersise those "rights" when you're forced to live with a control freak.

I personall don't really think it's changed my views of sex any, but maybe that's why I went into sexuality...if I ever have children, I plan to be open with them....as in mean it and follow through.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

When I was a pre-teen I found a copy of "Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex" in the upstairs bookcase, and to this day I'm convinced my mother placed it there for each kid to find when he or she was old enough (and each kid did). The book is seriously out of whack on a couple of issues, but it did give me a tremendous amount of information and validation about my feelings at the time. Plus it made a pretty good movie. ("And now, with great dispatch, I will open the latch, and get to her snatch.")

 

[Rosebud]

My parents told me absolutely nothing about sex...My sister started to but she got pregnant at 15 had the baby at 16 and died two months later...I think that is why they didn't tell me anything more, they didn't want me to end up like my sister....so i have stumbled through life..yes i do think it has affected me..I was so afraid that i was going to die when i gave birth to my first. Please parents...don't let your kids go into the sexual world blind.

 

[Wizard]

The streets , school, hell even church, thats where I picked it all up my folks never said shit. When I started getting older my mom tried I blew most off cause by then I knew most all that I thought I need to know but I will say she also told me fucked up shit like...Anal was for guys that beat there wifes and that was no way to treat your wife....and just crazy shit like that....I think it is safe to say old Mom didn't like or do Anal.

I know I know That wasn't nice to say

 

[CreamyLady]

My mother gave me a brief talk on "becoming a woman," with a box of Kotex pads, when I was 11. That was it, except for the standard "sex is dirty, awful, terrible, and boys won't respect you if you Give In -- not that you will because you are never going to go out with a boy if I can help it!"

My dad was very quiet on the subject, because we had other issues going on when I hit puberty.

Just about everything I did in my teens and early 20's was designed to irritate and anger my parents, including living with my first lover, who was an abusive control freak -- not much different from my dad, actually.

After him, I went wild, but -- with a few exceptions -- didn't enjoy it much.

So, I did learn a lot from my parents about the darker stuff. I had to wait until I hit my 30's to find out about the joy of sex.

As for my daughter, well, I've been very open with her, and told her to think things through and make her own choices. She has, and has no hangups about any of it.

 

[April]

My mother gave me a set of books when she thought I was old enough. We never had "the talk". My father was an asshole who hated his wife and kids. Especially me, as I was the last and an accident. So my mother told me. (the accident part, I mean) All my life my mother told me by actions and words, that sex was ugly, dirty, and unpleasant. To this day she still hates men. Sorry about venting. There's still a lot of hurt and anger there. I'll just go be quiet now.

 

[RonG]

I never received any sort of talk from my dad. He did have an old Super 8mm projector and a few stag flicks. The projector often went on the frits and since I was the only person in the house with any mechanical aptitude, I had fixit duty starting about the age of 12. He would find me to get the movie started and then I would have to leave once I got it going.

I am not sure I learned a lot from these movies outside of the fact that I was supposed to wear black socks and it was supposed to last exactly 12 minutes!

 

[Shintani]

Well, I'm still waiting for the talk...

Although my mother did tell me back in my early college years that if I ever needed 'anything' or had any 'questions', I should go to talk to a certain pharmacist...I never did, although I'm positive that if I did, she would have been on the phone with mom before I got back to the car!

 

[Xander]

As I've said before, my parents was always very open about sex.
I did get the "talk" with them. But tho' very inexperienced at the time, they soon realized that both me and my sister knew about the "big" questions when they talked to us.
So it all came down to one thing. If you're gotta do it, do it right and not with your head under your arm.
So that was it. They made us make our own choices about sex. Never ever did they tell me or my sister that sex was unpure and bad. Or that we should wait until we got married or some shit like that.
Eventually at 16, it was narrowed down to: Way to go son!

 

[Skitten]

I am with rosebud on this one parents didn't tell me anything handed me a book one day on the menstrual cycle and that was it what I learned was when I got married to my husband and he had to be patient with me becauase I didn't know anything. Please parents talk to your kids at all costs even if it is embarrassing I know because I have a son who is 10 and have talked some and it is hard to approach the subject but it is better than him learning it form the streets I would rather him learn what it is about from his parents not just the sex part but the love and commitment that is involved.

 

[Guest]

Sex Ed...

My parents told me NOTHING when it came to sex ed... I learned the "basics" from the school programs in 5th & 6th grade, and everything else from HANDS ON experience. The only things my mom told me was "masturbation is wrong, evil, dirty, etc", "premarital sex is a sin", "homosexuality is dirty, evil, wrong, etc".

~sigh~

No wonder I'm so fucked up. LoL

 

[Endlessly]

Hmmmmm.

I grew up with my mother the professional actress and unmarried to my father, and because of it, I grew up in two places: the.. (Is 'flamboyantly gay district' a non-PC term?) more festive.. part of Columbus, Ohio-- German Village, it was called-- and in the south end of Columbus, the slums, with my father living in my grandma's house with drug dealers and rapists.

But I digress.

THE talk..? By the time my mom got around to it, I already had some pretty fucked-up ideas. By the time I was seven I didn't know romance existed.. I thought all sex was BDSM (even though I didn't learn the term for a few more years) and about power.

To this day, my mother and I have never discussed kinks.

I matured early.. I started having my period in fifth grade, and was the youngest girl in my class to boot. I learned everything on my own and with the help of two partners-- one a harsh, sadistic midfucker, and the other whom I lost my virginity to.

OH! Why I brought up German Village and my mom the professional actor.. I was born and raised with two of the most wonderful men on the face of this earth, two italian life-partners named Tony and Renee. They were my first contact with homosexuality and my mom taught me from the beginning that there was nothing wrong with it.

Of course, my real 'education' on homosexuality came when I started going to a super-fundamentalist church.. And then when I got a crush on my best friend Rachel, who thinks homosexuality is a deeply twisted perversion.. Ah, well, such is life.

 

[Rapheal]

My dad's idea of having the wonderful TALK with me was trapping me alone with him in the car for hours at a time. We would go somewhere by ourselves, like to the coast or some place, and the next thing i know, he would be giving me lessons in life and love. I know that he and his dad were never very close and I also know that I was not a planned child (my mom was about 6 months pregnant at the wedding...) ah well. He's done it a couple of times, I guess thinking that there is more he should tell me as i get older, and it's not always a bad thing. I remember one time that he came and picked me up from Six Flags one time when i was there with my "girlfriend" (must have been about 14 at the time which is the reason for the quotes) and he suggested that we go buy some condoms so he could show me how to use them seeing as how i getting to be so close to this girl. i didn't take he up on his offer though. i think i can figure out that much on my own...

 

[Roland Gilliad]

even if no one cares... i picked up on sex by pure accident.
i was in the mens room and taking a nasty crap when i discovered an exepctionally thick porno mag. ( i never did find the magazine i saw there) coincidently just as i was finishing up a guy and a girl apperently thinking i wasent there locked the door and practicly made out in front of me.
( i later discovered it was my moms boss, cheating on his wife, that got me about 100$) but when i came out they tried to act as if she was hurt and i just gave them a pained look and shook my head. i guess my mom found out because when we got home she raised holy hell all over the neigborhood. after the police came and gave her some valium she calmed down and decided that she really shouldnt fuss over it because it already happened. i got the entire volume of sex tapes she had and i still use their advice today. my fave is the " How to give a better orgasm" tape.i never had the talk. and sex ed didnt teach me anything new so i went home early and got stuff offa my 'Source' and the net when it came into popularity. i am almost saddend to say that i do prefer Hentai over real life sometimes. hentai being Japanise anime Porno. and its damned cool seing a giant pikachu doin the nasty with misty. uht oh.. too much info

 

[Endlessly]

My friends are very much into anime, but I don't understand hentai and I never will.

*notes her mentor once told her she was a cross between a Sailor Scout and Stephen King's Carrie*

Doh.

But I'm digressing.

The reason I was posting is because I was hoping Roland could reword.. Sweetie, I mean this nicely, but other than the nasty Pikachu-nookie thing, I didn't understand your post at all.

*idly wonders about a pika-crustie-nookie deal* Dixon, I think you have your next screenplay..

 

[Roland Gilliad]

Long story short: walked into bathroom. found dirty mag. Read mag. finished using bathroom. boss and whore walk in bathroom.they do the nasty. i see them. he pays me 100$ not to tell his wife.mom finds out i saw that and the mag. she goes balistic. police arrive and use valium to calm her down. she calms down. she gives me sex ed tapes. i stay home for sex ed week classes and look and more porno. i started to like hentai. especially pokemon hentai.

so let it be written. so let it be done

 

[Endlessly]

Okay. So the pokemon hentai.. WASN'T a joke?

*shudder* I think I'm going to have nightmares the next time Never sings the Jigglypuff song at me..

 

[Docgtvt]

my parents didn't tell me anything. when i was 14, i found a copy of "the sensual man" and devoured it. about that time i found my sister's copy of "our bodies, ourselves" and found out about things from a woman's point of view. this was about the time i became friends with my "brother" who's father owned the only head shop in rutland,vt. it so happens that they also sold porno in the back room.
a year later, there was a news show on nbc entitled "everything you should know about sex," i watched it in the same room as my parents. when it was over, my father asked me if i had any questions about sex and i said no. he found this very amusing for some reason. the next year i became a peer councilor for planned parenthood. my father said,"i guess you don't have any questions!" i said i did and asked him if i could use the car the following night to get laid. he grounded me.
one week later, he helped me buy my first car.