What did you dream? Tell it in five sentences or fewer.

I hosted a game show where the contestants had to spot items that were shelved in the wrong spot in a grocery store and they also had to sometimes move the shelves around to make the layout make sense.

Part of my job as host was also to guess the contestants’ names and how old they were - something I’m notoriously bad at. My method was to call each contestant one at a time and ask them to stand in front of a camera and raise their eye brows. I’d then count how many wrinkles they got on their forehead, like the rings on a tree stump, and somehow from that I was able to deduct their age when I used a formula that I had written on my palm.

No one steal this idea, I’m sure it’s going to make a riveting show and it’ll earn me my first Emmy!
 
In my dream last night, I was on a small airplane. A fellow passenger kept trying to steal people's overhead luggage. There was a Greek Orthodox priest who was hitting on me and on the lesbian sitting next to me. We kept telling him to buzz off but he wouldn't listen.
 
I had a dream about my Turkish pen pal from when I was around 10-15. We met in Istanbul some years ago and my dream was basically exactly the same as what happened then. Good times, good dream. ☺️

Now I’m thinking about how much fun pen pals were. Or even email pals.
 
I was in the office cafeteria in my bathrobe having to redesign a newspaper ad using xeroxes, ruler, x-acto and rubber cement. Don Draper was supervising.
 
There was a new animal species that people couldn’t decide if it was a) bird b) seal c) llama or d) fictional. There was a public vote on it.

I voted fictional, but then I saw one swim out of a hole in the ice and turn into a llama type animal. Made me a believer alright.

The animal was dubbed a “lesser tail blocker”. The name implies there might be a great tail blocker out there somewhere, so maybe I dream of that tonight.
 
I was on a date, or I thought it was a date but actually it was just a shoot for a new reality show where people are taken very far out of their social comfort zones and viewers get to see how they slowly have a melt down.

My fake date was at a gambling parlor and part of it was trying to stop my date from going bankrupt on a game where you had to guess how many coffee beans are in a jar.

I had a huge, pink winter coat, too, that was way too hot to be wearing inside but I didn’t want to take it off because I didn’t want anybody to see my body on TV.

I was such a wuss, letting people trample over my limits and not saying anything or leaving the place. It was very aggravating.
 
I was at the feet of a very unexpected person to have a dream about. Things were extremely hot and heavy, but then we were interrupted by someone who dumped a big pile of apples to us and told us to go feed the deer. We dumped a pile in the backyard of a nearby house and returned to previous activities, but sadly I woke up soon after things got interesting again.

Strange dream and now I have waaaaaants and neeeeeeeds. Luckily November is almost over. 😰
 
I dreamt about what I'd do if I won the 36 million dollar lottery. It was a lovely dream. A car for a friend, student loans/ mortgages paid off for others, a big name concert in a small town, rebuilding abandoned properties to house multiple families. Toss the rest in a low interest savings account. And my favourite part was stuffing $100 bills in all the boxes of diapers at the grocery store.
 
I dreamt about what I'd do if I won the 36 million dollar lottery. It was a lovely dream. A car for a friend, student loans/ mortgages paid off for others, a big name concert in a small town, rebuilding abandoned properties to house multiple families. Toss the rest in a low interest savings account. And my favourite part was stuffing $100 bills in all the boxes of diapers at the grocery store.

I've gamed this myself from time to time. I always reach the same conclusion. I'm nowhere close to being sophisticated enough to manage large sums of money. Various financial planners, money managers, brokers, etc all take their cut from the front end. They have no skin in the game. I would do nothing for a year. Resist the urge to go wild spending money. I would keep the same job, drive the same car, and live the same way that I do presently. And I would read, read, read. Educate myself. And then start investing, spending cautiously, and intelligently. There's no second chance here.
 
I played Super Mario Bros 3 and found a secret level no one else had found before. It was just a long, flat level but the air was poisonous so you had to have a star equipped at all times. It was very stressful to try to run to the next star block and not die.
 
I had to make a huge vat of mint chocolate mousse. I mean gigantic, it was like a swimming pool, really. I only had one whisk, the kind that you hold in one hand and turn a crank with the other to make the whisk part spin.

Took me ages to get the mousse whipped!
 
I had to make a huge vat of mint chocolate mousse. I mean gigantic, it was like a swimming pool, really. I only had one whisk, the kind that you hold in one hand and turn a crank with the other to make the whisk part spin.

Took me ages to get the mousse whipped!
You should have called me!
I would have come with a whisk and two spoons.

Also, I live those old whisks.
My aunt had one for pre school me for when I helped her in the kitchen. She thought it would be safer than the electrical variety - kind of a dead man’s switch.
It was also the only kind I had when I first moved out from my parents.
There was this really corny movie where they would run after each other cranking the whisk threateningly, so that is obviously what we did too.
 
I was working in the World Trade Center. My boss was a mean woman. The boss tried to get me and my co-workers to jump off of a cliff. One person actually did, and he didn’t know how to swim. So I jumped in after him.
 
Long and weird…

I was at a big department store buying materials for making towels. The whole store was a weird experience filled with Halloween decorations, creaky floors and rotting food here and there, and the lady who assisted me to find the right things was extremely creepy.

When I left with my fabrics (I bought fabric that had birds and a sun wearing sunglasses, classy), I was told to go out through the garage because there had been a minor flood elsewhere in the building while I shopped for my bird-sun fabric and such.

I went to the garage and there was a wedding just starting there. They needed one more guest for some lucky number reason, so I stayed. I sat next to an old lady who made me press a button that was attached to the back of her hand. It made all the toilets within certain radius flush automatically.

I suddenly got my period in the middle of the wedding, sneaked into a bathroom to assess the situation (bad), and ended up having to shove the entire bird-sun fabric up my hooha. How it fit, I’ll never know. The button lady flushed the toilet for me.
 
I went to a paint and sip event and everybody, including the teacher, laughed at my painting. Not fun.
 
Last night I burned a house down and it felt very cathartic



And a few nights ago I had a dream I grew a dick on the left side of my hip, which, naturally, was a medical marvel and doctors from all over the world wanted to write papers about my tiny dick.

I was less than thrilled with it, though. I had to sew a pouch for it in my clothes because the friction of the clothes made it have an erection really easily. I had an important work meeting and I had to be completely still so that there would be no friction and no one would find out about my extra appendix. Very stressful.

Analyze that, Dr Freud!
 
Over the weekend, while I was away on a group trip, I dreamt that I slept through a party that everyone was having. They were in one man’s room, talking and visiting, and I was one floor above, under a red comforter, asleep.
 
I had a pretty bad nightmare, to the point where MrAlthea actually decided to wake me up because I was screaming in my sleep.

He asked about it at breakfast and I only remembered these people trying to kill me and not understanding who they were and why. I was just trying to fight them off.
Youngest Miss Althea said that it might become a recurring dream until I figured out who they were and I kind of regret telling her about my past recurring dream issues 😳.
 
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