current thinking
9 years ago my best ever lover and i broke up
i was a fool to let her get away
she was by far the best lover i have ever experienced
recently i heard she was engaged and getting married in march
i just emailed her and wished her all the best
but it surely triggered a deep rooted sadness
for some irrational reason, knowing she was single all these years, left me with some iota of fantasy that there was still a chance
she had not replied to an email in over 5 years
but she replied to that one 2 days ago
her email said....."im fine, happy, and about to be married"
she said it in a snarky way knowing how to get at me best
i just replied back and told her i would always love her and be thankful for having known her......
i didn't expect to hear another word....but today she replied....."i guess i jinxed myself in replying to you.....now everything feels messed up"
i want to think it feels messed up to her because she knows no one is going to love her remotely the way i did .....but i know that is egotistical to think.....
but .....now i am locked into a spiraling rumination of what it all means.....
9 years ago my best ever lover and i broke up
i was a fool to let her get away
she was by far the best lover i have ever experienced
recently i heard she was engaged and getting married in march
i just emailed her and wished her all the best
but it surely triggered a deep rooted sadness
for some irrational reason, knowing she was single all these years, left me with some iota of fantasy that there was still a chance
she had not replied to an email in over 5 years
but she replied to that one 2 days ago
her email said....."im fine, happy, and about to be married"
she said it in a snarky way knowing how to get at me best
i just replied back and told her i would always love her and be thankful for having known her......
i didn't expect to hear another word....but today she replied....."i guess i jinxed myself in replying to you.....now everything feels messed up"
i want to think it feels messed up to her because she knows no one is going to love her remotely the way i did .....but i know that is egotistical to think.....
but .....now i am locked into a spiraling rumination of what it all means.....
