Warning Signs of a Batshit Insane Submissive

[JMohegan]

I was kinda hoping to get some stories out of those notoriously private Dom types around here. I don't suppose you two are familiar with that sort.

Good luck with that.

 

[ataxia.girl]

i've got a few Doms in my past i'm sure could tell some stories. Where is my Bastard Daddy and my Uncle Jackass when i need them?

i'm lucky Daddy likes his little girls bat shit crazy

 

[insert____here]

i like to keep my neurosis and batshit up front where everyone can see it. that way, no-one can complain when they choose to play with me. believe me, i've got my fair share of bats loose in the belfrey.

but at least i play fair: i'm an old wisywig system - what you see is what you get.

that said, when the bats are roosting, i'm usually so blase and chilled about stuff i've been accused of being uncaring and ice cold frigid. meh, can't win either way.

 

[BiBunny]

I am fucking crazy. But anyone I get involved with knows it upfront and is most likely probably at least a little crazy him/herself. So I don't feel sorry for them if they want to whine about it later. That whole snake "You knew what I was when you picked me up" story.

Don't think I qualify as batshit yet, though.

 

[Netzach]

I am fucking crazy. But anyone I get involved with knows it upfront and is most likely probably at least a little crazy him/herself. So I don't feel sorry for them if they want to whine about it later. That whole snake "You knew what I was when you picked me up" story.

Don't think I qualify as batshit yet, though.

No. There is a difference between what I call "meshuggah" which is problematic enough to be interesting, versus "batshit" which is going to damage you before you limp off.

 

[BiBunny]

No. There is a difference between what I call "meshuggah" which is problematic enough to be interesting, versus "batshit" which is going to damage you before you limp off.

Gotcha. No, then, I don't qualify as "batshit." Just nutty.

 

[eastern sun]

Personally, while this may be uncharitable "I'm a recovering ______. " has since become a disqualifier for heavy involvement with me. I really try and give people benefit of the doubt, I respect the strength that overcoming an addiction takes, but I have a bad track record myself in dealing with people who have dealt with addictions, I'm an Adult Child myself and it's just way way too liable to go wrong. My innate response is "don't question the story" and so, you see where that can go.

Since "I'm a recovering _______" myself, I have to jump in and say that the twelve steps have saved a lot of people's lives. Most especially, their children's.

On the other hand, for those same people who are prone to addictive patterns, BDSM is nothing if not potentially escalating and addicting. So, it's a double-edged sword. If said addicts aren't actively engaged in working on their addictive personalities and/or tendencies, they are likely to create the same kind of craziness in their lives whether they're drinking/using or not.

And take everyone else along with them.

 

[MisterSir]

Gotcha. No, then, I don't qualify as "batshit." Just nutty.

Lethal to people with allergies?

 

[Blase]

Never dated batshit crazy ... never been called batshit crazy (well, not to my face anyway ...) but I maintain the best way to ferret out that level of crazy is to ask questions - Lots of questions!

This method works for both Dominants and submissives. Ask the same question 10 different ways if you must, but their answer should be the same or shake down with the same elements of truth. And if someone won't be questioned, run from them and don't look back because you cannot change them, their story or the big bag of crazy they could open up on you.

On the other hand, for those same people who are prone to addictive patterns, BDSM is nothing if not potentially escalating and addicting. So, it's a double-edged sword. If said addicts aren't actively engaged in working on their addictive personalities and/or tendencies, they are likely to create the same kind of craziness in their lives whether they're drinking/using or not.

And take everyone else along with them.

Thanks to Esclava and eastern sun for their thoughts.

It's tempting to say, look, this is just another variation on the old "Fatal Attraction" question, and anyone who wants to be in relationships of any variety needs to learn to protect themselves both emotionally and physically.

Having said that, a certain amount of, ah, eccentricity seems to be par for the course when you're talking about people involved in BDSM.

I guess I don't have any batshit-crazy anecdotes myself. I did once correspond by email with a sub who claimed that she was having problems accessing Lit, and so hadn't been able to read the ad linked in my profile, which makes it clear that I fall solidly into the end of the D/s spectrum that EG once characterized as "almost vanilla mild".

Despite this lack of any real information, after a couple emails she was saying that she wanted to wear my collar and be whatever I wished, or something to that effect. Fortunately, she wasn't crazy enough to persist once I told her unequivocally that I did not offer collars or seek to own my subs.

So far, that - being clear to subs about MY boundaries - has been my best defense against potential craziness. Although that strategy may be somewhat less useful to the many on this board who are up for more craziness than I am...

 

[ataxia.girl]

Personally, while this may be uncharitable "I'm a recovering ______. " has since become a disqualifier for heavy involvement with me. I really try and give people benefit of the doubt, I respect the strength that overcoming an addiction takes, but I have a bad track record myself in dealing with people who have dealt with addictions, I'm an Adult Child myself and it's just way way too liable to go wrong. My innate response is "don't question the story" and so, you see where that can go.

This is why i refuse to go into recovery. If i do i'll become a recovering ______ and i'll never have a shot at Net.

 

[graceanne]

I think that the warning signs for a batshit insane sub are similar to the warning signs of a batshit insane dom.

Inconsistency, extreme mood swings, no limits, extreme demands, etc.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

We can laugh about the idea of the big bad Dominants getting hurt by the batshit crazy submissives all we want... but there is a real danger that I haven't seen anyone else pick up on.

DNA Sample+ Bruises+ batshit crazy can easily result in a prison term and lifetime membership on the sex offender registry.

The "She wanted this" defense has been so overused that even if it is true, it is looked down upon... Especially when you consider that in many areas that which we do is borderline criminal EVEN with consent.

 

[Primalex]

Netz made this comment on another thread, and it got me to thinking that there are a million and one posts/threads/books/articles/etc on the dangers of a bad dominant, but she's is right - I'm not sure I've ever seen anything on the risks of getting involved with a bad submissive...

Any thoughts on the topic?

Hmm... I considered writing a guide for Doms out there, sharing my experiences and methods, some time ago. Then I thought about the endless discussions about petty things it would spawn - and discarded the idea.

 

[midwestyankee]

One type of dangerous batshit crazy has a solid veneer of respectability and polish. They can be literate, articulate, talented - sometimes dangerously so - and witty. The batshit doesn't hit the fan immediately in every case, or at least not in large identifiable chunks. Only when you unknowingly break their rules does the batshit sign light up in the sky.

Sign: when they go into sub-drop after being given a chance to give a single blowjob—in the absence of any other play—there may be some fine print you missed on the first reading.

 

[graceanne]

The only case of batshit crazy 'submissive' I've heard of was a friend who had this chick on him like white on rice. Then her husband died (found out later that his death was considered suspicious) and she told my friend that she wanted to move in with him. He was trying to be nice, so he told her he didn't want a relationship with someone with kids and she said "I can get rid of them." He got offline with her and called her local police to report her.

 

[~Haze~]

The best warning sign is that she uses "Bunny" somewhere in her screen name.

The easiest way? Start with gender. Female = batshit crazy.

 

[AbiNormyl]

What are the signs to tell if you are bat shit crazy, I need a symptoms list. I think I might have it.

 

[DVS]

...Any thoughts on the topic?

I've seen my share of weird women, but not that many over the top submissive weirdos. I've chatted with a few in chat rooms and they have sometimes seemed a bit clingy, and quick to want to be my sub...but that's all. Of course, I'm without a submissive right now, and so maybe I'm not seeing the big picture.

But, just like the weirdo Doms, I'm sure there are weirdo subs. People will be people and for society to be balanced there has to be at least a few out there. I do think there should be at least a list of what to look for, when on the prowl, etc.

Doms are better equipped to handle that situation than subs, when those they connect with are a little ...um weird. Doms don't get tied up. Doms don't get beat on, used or abused. Submissives have to know and trust their partner or suffer the consequences.

Doms can be so unsuspecting when they go to sleep. Maybe that's how cages got to be popular. At least then you know where your submissive is, so you can sleep with both eyes closed.

 

[ataxia.girl]

Doms can be so unsuspecting when they go to sleep. Maybe that's how cages got to be popular. At least then you know where your submissive is, so you can sleep with both eyes closed.

i used to fantasize killing my Bastard Daddy in all kinds of twisted ways. Good thing our relationship was online only.

 

[Esclava]

Hmmmmm .....

After having a "submissive" call me a Fake (and several other uncomplimentary adjectives) because I would not pick him up at 1:00 am and subject him to blindfolded bondage in the back of my car as I drove around, I wondered if the instinct that made me say no was correct.

Repeatedly hearing, "just come pick me up", "here's my address (and phone no.) so you'll know I'm real", "I'll leave the door unlocked", and other similar nonsense from someone I've only known online for an hour sets off some serious warning bells and flags for me. Couple that with a blank profile and I don't have a good feeling about meeting this person at all. Anyone else see bells and flags at such an exchange?

My first thought is he is not "batshit" insane ... just used to telling people what he wants and getting his own way (and some domme somewhere has let him get away with that). In my book ... that combination doesn't fly at anytime - especially if you don't know each other. Well, it's that or a police sting or worse yet, someone with the intent/ability to do real physical harm.

The way I see it, I am either horribly sheltered or hopelessly paranoid. I engage in real life aspects of TTWD frequently and safely - so I don't believe I'm sheltered or paranoid. I love my self-protection. It is ... and always will be ... my best friend!

Esclava

 

[Esclava]

One type of dangerous batshit crazy has a solid veneer of respectability and polish. They can be literate, articulate, talented - sometimes dangerously so - and witty. The batshit doesn't hit the fan immediately in every case, or at least not in large identifiable chunks. Only when you unknowingly break their rules does the batshit sign light up in the sky.

Sign: when they go into sub-drop after being given a chance to give a single blowjob—in the absence of any other play—there may be some fine print you missed on the first reading.

Oh, dayam ... maybe that's why I'm still alone. Gotta check the wooden supports on that "neon sign" ... apparently there are not enough termites working on it ...

Esclava

 

[JMohegan]

After having a "submissive" call me a Fake (and several other uncomplimentary adjectives) because I would not pick him up at 1:00 am and subject him to blindfolded bondage in the back of my car as I drove around, I wondered if the instinct that made me say no was correct.

Repeatedly hearing, "just come pick me up", "here's my address (and phone no.) so you'll know I'm real", "I'll leave the door unlocked", and other similar nonsense from someone I've only known online for an hour sets off some serious warning bells and flags for me. Couple that with a blank profile and I don't have a good feeling about meeting this person at all. Anyone else see bells and flags at such an exchange?

I don't understand why a blank profile would seem odd, but everything else definitely points to dangerous, dangerously bad judgment, or sting operation, yes.

 

[Netzach]

After having a "submissive" call me a Fake (and several other uncomplimentary adjectives) because I would not pick him up at 1:00 am and subject him to blindfolded bondage in the back of my car as I drove around, I wondered if the instinct that made me say no was correct.

Repeatedly hearing, "just come pick me up", "here's my address (and phone no.) so you'll know I'm real", "I'll leave the door unlocked", and other similar nonsense from someone I've only known online for an hour sets off some serious warning bells and flags for me. Couple that with a blank profile and I don't have a good feeling about meeting this person at all. Anyone else see bells and flags at such an exchange?

My first thought is he is not "batshit" insane ... just used to telling people what he wants and getting his own way (and some domme somewhere has let him get away with that). In my book ... that combination doesn't fly at anytime - especially if you don't know each other. Well, it's that or a police sting or worse yet, someone with the intent/ability to do real physical harm.

The way I see it, I am either horribly sheltered or hopelessly paranoid. I engage in real life aspects of TTWD frequently and safely - so I don't believe I'm sheltered or paranoid. I love my self-protection. It is ... and always will be ... my best friend!

Esclava

I get invites like this roughly once a day. The reason I'm still here to write this is because fortunately, I didn't just get off the bus. Charmers like that guy will throw everything they have into it, and sometimes the game is just that they want to hear you say "yes, OK, what time? Right. I'll SO be there." It's generally bullshit. If you aren't being paid handsomely to engage it, you are wasting your time.

 

[Netzach]

One type of dangerous batshit crazy has a solid veneer of respectability and polish. They can be literate, articulate, talented - sometimes dangerously so - and witty. The batshit doesn't hit the fan immediately in every case, or at least not in large identifiable chunks. Only when you unknowingly break their rules does the batshit sign light up in the sky.

Sign: when they go into sub-drop after being given a chance to give a single blowjob—in the absence of any other play—there may be some fine print you missed on the first reading.

File under "my issues are your fault." And it's plentiful.

 

[midwestyankee]

File under "my issues are your fault." And it's plentiful.

Exactly.