VoraciousValue's Crystal Ball 🔮

[VoraciousValue]

I was at Easter dinner and an in-law ran his fingers through the back of my hair and touched my neck, then made a comment about my haircut. I’m not sure what possessed him to do this?

The crystal ball wants to know if said in-law knows the meaning of the word "assault."

 

[VoraciousValue]

I'm going to run a special after dark version of the crystal ball. The crystal ball wants to know all your naughty sex questions, you dirty pervert you! This is going to run all night (and probably all of tomorrow as well), so please don't be hesitant to get the ball all steamed up with wild desire!

Meanwhile, I am going to bed. Please leave your message for the crystal ball after the beep. . . .

 

[pandaburr]

What are my chances of meeting some hot nerd next week on my business trip and taking him back to my hotel room for sexy time?

*shakes crystal ball*

Or wait, I guess that’s not how this ball works..I’ll just wait for you to tell me tomorrow

 

[VoraciousValue]

What are my chances of meeting some hot nerd next week on my business trip and taking him back to my hotel room for sexy time?

*shakes crystal ball*

Or wait, I guess that’s not how this ball works..I’ll just wait for you to tell me tomorrow

The crystal ball apologizes for missing your query. It was running a little too hot at the moment and needed to cool down.

It depends on where you're going. The East and West coasts are always good for meeting nerdy types. In particular, I've heard Man San Jose offers women an advantage. Your major inland cities also offer great opportunities: Chicago, Atlanta, Denver, Dallas, etc. Pittsburgh is a huge robotics center, and I know some nerdy types in that area.

If you're going to the D.C./Baltimore area, you are in luck! The crystal ball might know a guy. (whistles)

Most of the South is best avoided. You might find a nerdy guy, but you'll hate yourself in the morning with some of those dudes. Going to one of those stagnant Midwestern towns like St. Louis? Forget it!

 

[pandaburr]

The crystal ball apologizes for missing your query. It was running a little too hot at the moment and needed to cool down.

It depends on where you're going. The East and West coasts are always good for meeting nerdy types. In particular, I've heard Man San Jose offers women an advantage. Your major inland cities also offer great opportunities: Chicago, Atlanta, Denver, Dallas, etc. Pittsburgh is a huge robotics center, and I know some nerdy types in that area.

If you're going to the D.C./Baltimore area, you are in luck! The crystal ball might know a guy. (whistles)

Most of the South is best avoided. You might find a nerdy guy, but you'll hate yourself in the morning with some of those dudes. Going to one of those stagnant Midwestern towns like St. Louis? Forget it!

Siggggh, sounds like I'm screwed. Or more so, NOT getting screwed. Thanks VV

 

[VoraciousValue]

Siggggh, sounds like I'm screwed. Or more so, NOT getting screwed. Thanks VV

I'm sorry if I was the bearer of bad news.

 

[pandaburr]

I'm sorry if I was the bearer of bad news.

lol it's totally okay

 

[Btq97]

A friend asks when will the next see a naked lady that they can touch with being taken away by the police

 

[lilmissdarling]

Will I learn from past mistakes? Or am I doomed to repeat myself?

 

[VoraciousValue]

A friend asks when will the next see a naked lady that they can touch with being taken away by the police

Depends. How much is he willing to pay for it?

 

[VoraciousValue]

Will I learn from past mistakes? Or am I doomed to repeat myself?

Well, have you made positive steps towards trying to avoid those mistakes? Or are you like me in that you forgot how you made the mistake in the first damn place?

 

[Btq97]

Depends. How much is he willing to pay for it?

He says he was after it for free. He is a bit of a cheapskate!

 

[Cyber_Bella]

He says he was after it for free. He is a bit of a cheapskate!

Maybe you should try Tinder? lol

 

[VoraciousValue]

Maybe you should try Tinder? lol

I was going to say, if he wants it for free, he might have to wait a while. But Tinder might help. Never worked for me, but hey.

 

[n8Romantic]

If I teabaged her iced coffee would that be considered oral sex?

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

If I teabaged her iced coffee would that be considered oral sex?

If a man tea bagged my iced coffee, he'd regret it.

 

[n8Romantic]

If a man tea bagged my iced coffee, he'd regret it.

Not as much as teabaging your hot coffee.

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

Not as much as teabaging your hot coffee.

Oh he would regret both. First name Lorena. Last name Bobbit. Nobody touches my coffee!

 

[VoraciousValue]

If I teabaged her iced coffee would that be considered oral sex?

The crystal ball is very traditional in its definition of oral sex, specifically this must involve some sort of oral/genital contact. Unless "iced coffee" is a sexual reference the ball is not aware of.

 

[cheekygirl75]

Will my family find a new house soon?

 

[VoraciousValue]

It's Thursday morning here in the spirit realm, and the crystal ball is dusty. What questions do you have that need spiritual guidance?

 

[VoraciousValue]

Will my family find a new house soon?

The crystal ball apologizes, but it only saw this query just now.

The crystal ball says: "Recession likely in the next 12 to 18 months. House prices will fall. Wait until then."