virgin writer in need of experienced help

[Widow_C]

okay...here goes...my first attempt at writing. It is a story about first love, submission, oral...from a heterosexual male point of view. I have more pieces to it...but stopped here to find out a couple of things
1. does it work?
2. should it have embellishment and if so where and how? and if so HELP!
I think the grammar is pretty close to correct (Lord help me if it isn't, I am a teacher). But I will admit that I occasionally have trouble keeping my tenses straight/consistent.
If interested in helping/critiquing/editing please PM me here and I will share email and we can determine what to do next.
Thanks in advance !

 

[sr71plt]

How many words is it and are you actually a homosexual male?

 

[Widow_C]

it is approximately 3100 words and I am most definitely a female

 

[sr71plt]

Ah, well. It's short enough, but otherwise not for me. Hope you're able to find a fit.

 

[lloyd_5]

Ah, well. It's short enough, but otherwise not for me. Hope you're able to find a fit.

Politeness and etiquette is clearly not in your armory. Go back to your irrelevant verbiage that destroys the forum.

Reminder: The Editor’s Forum is for authors and editors to discuss issues related to editing stories. People are forgetting this. It's not a place for personal arguments, attacks, or discussions not related to editing stories.

 

[DDH3269]

You're a first time writer. I am a first time editor. I'd say we try this together and see what happens. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

[sr71plt]

Politeness and etiquette is clearly not in your armory. Go back to your irrelevant verbiage that destroys the forum.

I fail to see where I wasn't polite or breached any etiquette here. I was possibly interested--being interested in seeing how homosexual men are writing from a homosexual perspective here. That's why I asked. She isn't a homosexual man, so I'm not interested. But I helped her frame her request by bringing out the important point of how many words the piece is and by wishing her well in her quest for someone to edit it.

That said, if she can't find an interested editor for it, it's short enough that if she wishes to PM me and works in Word, I'll be happy to edit it for her.

 

[Widow_C]

Thank you one and all...I am looking forward to this adventure in writing and hopefully you will see something worthy of submission

 

[tmmmbrrr]

WC - can you cut/paste into a pm to me? i would be happy to read through and share my impressions. tmmm

 

[nakdsub]

Don't "cut" & paste

"Copy" and paste; you don't want to lose your story.

 

[Widow_C]

I would never cut and paste

since I am a teacher of computer and all things business...I know not to cut and paste but to copy and paste