virgin blood

[R. Richard]

Back in the day (Old Testament and throughout the Middle Ages in Europe) blood was the only acceptable proof of virginity and brides who failed to provide some could be put to death. When a marriage was politically important, it was customary to hang the bedsheet from the window as a sort of "A-OK" to signal that the bride wasn't a slut and wouldn't have to be ostracized or killed, the groom wasn't a girlie-man, and the line of succession was not in jeapardy - provided, of course, that the bride gave birth exactly nine months after the torn hymen, or was never alone with the butler thereafter; which, if you think about it, would have been the only way that a virgin's blood on her wedding night would assure that her firstborn was fathered by the groom.

Also, the Cuisinart and other wedding gifts wouldn't have to be returned. What a relief for all concerned! Except for the percentage of virgins whose hymens didn't tear sufficiently to produce a drop or two of blood. They were what we call, "screwed."

It's a shame that the Bible didn't include The Book of Gynecology.

Actually, back in those days the thinking people had a maid with a sharp knife and a chicken waiting in the wings. If the bride didn't provide the blood for the bedsheet, the chicken did.

 

[GoldenVirginia]

Trust your own feelings as you re read is my opinion.

I'd reckon some lurking nutter will finish the job.