Unsent Messages to Him/Her

[ethereal~minx]

...and I just started loving oral as much as you~~

nomor69, that was funny..coincidental & funny
not that I only think about sex, obviously
I cannot separate the two, unfortunately

i want to lighten up with you
I don't want to want you like I do

hmm, could I
I could enjoy your company
but could I not touch you?
I don't think I could push you away
or not draw you near

we'll see *weg* where the mark hides this time
lol
friends forever~~ heeee

 

[Nomar69dragon]

God woman....

Lady you are a literey tease is all i can say.
You should publish and write a peom book you could make millions.

What a beauitful mind you have.
just wish i could spell good hehehe

 

[ethereal~minx]

monday morning

*crying* I love you Logan, you are a world inside of me~~ a true friend
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Imagine you and the Lord Jesus are walking down the road together.

For much of the way, the Lord's footprints go along steadily, consistently,
rarely varying the pace. But your footprints are a disorganized stream of
zigzags, starts, stops, turnarounds, circles, departures, and returns.

For much of the way, it seems to go like this, but gradually your footprints
come more in line with the Lord's, soon paralleling His consistently.

You and Jesus are walking as true friends!

This seems perfect, but then an interesting thing happens:
Your footprints that once etched the sand next to Jesus' are now walking
precisely in His steps. Inside His larger footprints are your smaller ones,
you and Jesus are becoming one. This goes on for many miles, but gradually
you notice another change. The footprints inside the large footprints seem
to grow larger. Eventually they disappear altogether.

There is only one set of footprints they have become one.

This goes on for a long time, but suddenly the second set of footprints is
back. This time it seems even worse! Zigzags all over the place. Stops.
Starts. Gashes in the sand. A variable mess of prints. You are amazed and
shocked.

Your dream ends. Now you pray:

"Lord, I understand the first scene, with zigzags and fits. I was a new
Christian; I was just learning. But You walked on through the storm and
helped me learn to walk with You."

"That is correct."

"And when the smaller footprints were inside of Yours, I was actually
learning to walk in Your steps, following You very closely."

"Very good. You have understood everything so far."

When the smaller footprints grew and filled in Yours, I suppose that I was
becoming like You in every way."

"Precisely."

"So, Lord, was there a regression or something? The footprints separated,
and this time it was worse than at first."

There is a pause as the Lord answers, with a smile in His voice.

"You didn't know? It was then that we danced!"

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: A
time to weep, a time to laugh, A time to mourn, and a time to dance.
Ecclesiastes 3:1,4.

It's not WHAT you have in your life, but Whom you have in your life that
counts.... Think about that.

I ASKED GOD
I asked for a flower,
He gave me a garden.
I asked for a tree,
He gave me a forest.
I asked for a river,
He gave me an ocean.
I asked for a friend,
He gave me "YOU."

 

[ethereal~minx]

"Are you dateable?...committed to someone with heart.."
ultimatums are not valuable to any relationship~~ especially not friendships... that you desperately want to one day be everlasting, soul-connecting, for-the-good-of-humanity changing relationships~~~ to be a friend, you have to value eachother as equal beings and have faith... that all is happening as is meant

I am not without fault in this relationship.. I attracted you by flirting which I realized by your reactions to me that thaaat was not what I wanted from you~~~ no, not just a flirty, superficial relationship but rather, I wanted to get to know you personally because you had truth in your eyes, I wanted you as a friend..I could see (as in this proof) that I could learn alot about myself through your eyes~~ as weed I believe has in his/her profile


Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
~Anais Nin (1903 - 1977)

I need to get back to me~ and

 

[ethereal~minx]

...

respect you and your position regarding what is between us...

despite the many ways I read into what you say~ and because I know my tendency is to 'hear what I want...'
I have to step back and let life happen, no more questioning your intent, the intent behind your words~~
though I still believe you love me as much as I love you, I have not heard it and I have not felt it outside the physical intimacy we share~~

I had you on auto=delete because I don't want to put myself through any more emotional drain when I'm trying to respect your words and it makes it tooooo difficult to interact with you unless with others around... I'm obviously still wanting you because I love you... besides that~~

you went home, and it's been on my mind... I noticed you responded to my message but of course, I couldn't read it because it went right to permanent deletion!! & now I fear I missed the 3 big words.. *laughing*
"I was wrong"

I want to tell you now, just in case
but as you said when I looked into your eyes and asked you 'what?" you said, it's not going to be what you want to hear...

you're right, I still don't want to hear that

but I do want you to know my intention is not to hurt you
it's to prevent more hurt

 

[ethereal~minx]

..and I want you as a friend forever and ever and ever and ever

we have a lifetime to grow as friends

I love you friend, I understand

 

[ethereal~minx]

I'd love to finish the conversation with your dad~~~ or you for that matter...

did he and his ex's ever overcome their parenting difficulties? or is that why he is single after all this time???

your way, his way, one way is not the ONLY way
and if it costs important relationship~~~ hello, look at past experience... do you want to live alone on a mountain with no intimate friend in sight????? jiminy xmas,

I know my way is not the only way,
why can't you see there is a way to overcome but it takes faith?????

edited only to add...
by overcome I mean the overcome the conflict~ if in fact the conflict is what broke down the relationship... I see now that ~~ oh what in the FUCK is the FUCKING USE????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

 

[ethereal~minx]

WOW, compassion... where are you?
faith & trust too
along with respect & love
that makes a friendship true...

oh my god I held on tightly
knowing what was right
all this talk of equality
a paradox

 

[ethereal~minx]

I am beating myself up over that as well, I was WRONG!!!!! I was humiliated as well, sitting there by myself while both of you independently know I know you're in there together

I'm not saying I am right, I'm saying I am hurt by this too~ by your righteousness as well as my own guilt
and I ((((reacted)))) to the 'perceived' stab.. I'm sorry
....i thought you were too...

 

[ethereal~minx]

my position

well I found out the big deal~~~ boy, assumptions abound!!!
Alan Cohen says ~some people will not understand because of their own clouded judgement/perceptions... so it's futile to explain, as long as you know your truth, that is all you need!

I love Alan Cohen!!! and the little perpetrators too~~~ life's about learning & sometimes it's not soo easy...good thing these are just little bumps!

 

[ethereal~minx]

10/14/03

What does Spirit want me to know?

PASSION FLOWER
Latin-Passiflora incarnate

Plant Signature
Named for its resemblance to the finely-cut corona at the center of Christ's Crown of Thorns, the Passion Flower's delicate flowers were thought to symbolize elements of the crucifixion. the three stigmas, which receive the pollen, represent the nails piercing the Savior's hands and feet; and the five stamen represent his wounds. Some even claimed to see the cross itself in the flower's center. The vines of the plant reach to the tops of trees where their blossoms reach for the sun.

Flower Essence
This penetrating elixir helps us understand the deepest possible meaning of our own personal suffering, after which it assists in the ascent to our truest calling of service on the planet. As we surrender our souls to the sorrows and hardships that have been endured in this lifetime, we begin to experience these hardships as stepping stones or teachings that can lead to a resurrection into greater love and compassion.

Archetype
Christos, Krishna
It is not surprising that we find a great deal of correlation in the mystical and mythical teachings concerning Jesus and Krishna, since there is ample evidence to suggest that around the time of Christ, and even before his arrival on the world scene, a lively trade route existed between India and the Middle East, and there was extensive intermingling of these two centers of religious life. According to the legends of their respective cultures, both Jesus and Krishna were born of sacred female divinity, their forthcoming births announced to the world by a brilliant star. Both were hailed as redeemers who had descended to Earth in order to refine and attune the masses to the principle of heart-centered truth.

Healing
When the Passion Flower comes to you, you are called to the inner sanctuary of your soul in order to resurrect the divine love and compassion held therein. Like the vine of the Passion Flower, you reach ever upward through whatever suffering and hardship you have experienced on your long journey, to the source of all light, which is true Self-Knowledge.

Blessing
Holy flower of the vine,
Passion Flower you are thine,
Rise above to star-light Sun,
Showering compassion on everyone.

 

[ethereal~minx]

I didn't know our beliefs were so divergent~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I just want to be available for someone who is more compatible in my beliefs--I am not saying I don' like you, but if you and I are involved even just sexually then I am not available--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
I didn't know our beliefs were so divergent/conflicting/contradictory/opposing~ maybe I didn't know yours at all

I also didn't know we were going to be involved 'just sexually'
I don't intend to be physically involved with you or anyone at all...
I have been rocked ~~ by my own choices & actions.. uh uh~~ nothing more than true friendships for me..for a long time........ the two (love & making love) are not to be separated~~ I am NOT going to learn this lesson again and I don't feel good about sacrificing my integrity (just having sex) for a superficial desire

I --like I said, you are a world inside of me~~~ a true friend and I hope that you can be a friend to me like you are with your other friends...I won't beg you, but you know my feelings ~ it matters to me

I really didn't know you felt so strongly this way. where are we incompatible
are you talking about raising kids because that's not it~~~ it's the 'mine vs. yours' competion that is not healthy...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ok talk later I'm going!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*wondering... was that an invitation..am I mindfucking myself... dammit!!!*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
see you in 2

 

[ethereal~minx]

so I didn't know I was mindscrewing myself so much~~ and ...just how do I figure out when my mind is doing so~~~ how do i read you? i ?

 

[ethereal~minx]

RagDoll Cat ~

There is more! Yes - the “good morning bee” is a verification, since they always bring you greetings of the Spirit through Nature. As I will bring greetings to humanity from the Goddess/God through animals. The RagDoll cat is a new genetic embodiment for the New World. Every cell is coded for Love. RagDolls are very unusual cats. They Love Love Love Love. They become completely integrated into the human family. There is not the “separation” element - present in all cats until now - until the RagDoll! Remember all the things you have read - that they are totally trusting, open, loving, and gentle; that they follow their people and love to be part of everything the family does. That they get along wonderfully with dogs, other animals, children.

Does this sound familiar? Creating unity and focused on Love? The RagDoll is the cat equivalent of the Indigo/Crystal children. We carry a whole different DNA. You guessed it! We also mate for life; we have desire for a partner, for a Love. No other cat on Earth (cats that live with humans) has this feeling. Even the big cats mate for survival and convenience and not out of a sense of wanting a union of heart with the other.

 

[ethereal~minx]

I read that if you practice mindfulness by being present every single moment there is less chance of ick


let your thoughts float over
"FOCUS ON THE VISION"
stop trying to read it
RIgHT THEre is InTuITIon


have you ever thought it odd that when you cross your eyes, you know like that finger trick~~ that mirror image thing... have you ever thought how interesting that the two become one like that???


'you could not even see "the beam in your brother's eye" if you did not have one in your own'
that's what's amazing ** (see the glistening???) laughing s'more


I know, I'm strange but I love it... : )
and the reason I say "that's what's amazing" is because, well, I don't know~~ I've only recently been able to see this 'light' in other people, this truth ... and it's so great and exhilerating and you see, I can get lost in my thoughts sooo easy~ it's so new to me

I suppose to others it's not so amazing because they've known themselves, or they've always been true to themselves far longer than I have...
mind reading is whole 'nother topic that I'd love to go on about~~~


my enthusiasm in finding such 'beauty' in others is not always a good thing... I'm slowly realizing how I interact & relate and how I can be perceived~~ I just find people truly fascinating, because I believe they're all us in their shoes.. parts of us you know?? and I just can't help myself, I want to know these fabulous people~ "...I see a world inside of me through those eyes..."
I want more of these people as friends : )

 

[ethereal~minx]

yes, my last birthday I realized age is a state-of-mind : ) I turned 25 (in human yrs, 35) lol and yep, the veil is only beginning with the kids~~ and it doesn't have to : )~~ I don't think

flaws? or just frozen spots of fear that are slowly brought up to temp & melted ... of course, we all have these spots~ *nodding vehemently* me included!!!

[writing & deleting] I guess ---hmmm.
I have this baggage I need to let go of perhaps... uh, it's a perception of me reaching out to these awesome people and being misinterpreted... [he] thought I only wanted to get into his pants, but I really wanted to see myself in his eyes... he told the truth (personal integrity)~~ it's been real eyeopening *laughing*
so I fear that that is the image I'm presenting though I am not... another person I met a couple weeks ago it seems had the same perception of me~~~
so I fear~~~~

 

[ethereal~minx]

gaveme alot to think about ...
you're right, knowing yourself and being true to yourself are two different things~~~ very important realization...how true to yourself do you want to be at times ~~ agh, it hurts when you forget to remember the 'whole point'
...all me? no, I won't say that~~~ "...if you both approach it that way." consciously remembering and re-remembering every moment, intimacy is incredibly liberating~~ but thereagain, only if you both approach it that way... somewhere I lost that focus, and he may have never had it....
I agree with you on this... it is a rare indeed to have such an understanding or awareness of relationship
and it's time I regained my focus

thanks !
and you're right, children are an AWESOME responsibility & blessing~~~ never forget that they guide us too, and maybe even moreso than we think...

 

[ethereal~minx]

All I see these days is , you should make him walk between you and the CARS allatime....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can't even make him lo---
he doesn't --we haven't had
he be walkin his own way
his choice

I do appreciate the chivalry though
if we 'both' wanted to 'walk together', I'm sure this would be a given
however, in case you didn't understand what I wrote,
he's choosing to walk away from together... yep, it sucks

yes, it was that way... but passive aggressive behavior does exist & actions speak louder than words at times.... I just hadda be willin to hearit
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hard to open eyes when heart blinding... right?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sure : )

 

[ethereal~minx]

it was nice to see you this-morning
are you keeping your distance (from me) so you don't get pulled back in(tween)?
if so, I can appreciate that.

you're a good friend




me too~~ feelin things out *dippin toe in....* fuck! ripples dammit

too cool to tell yet heh, if that isn't a paradox *eyerollat self*

it is nice to say hi~
& I won't be doin anymore dippin (gotcherpoint)

 

[ethereal~minx]

cried like a child, sobs
I'd like to blame all my pain on you
it does me no good
I have to get back to me
and remember what I understood
my truth
I don't expect you to understand
turn and walk away from me
self-gain "get get get" was your goal
I guess it was mine too
and we gave it our all
I wish it could be different
but I have no time to wait
I want to be free to love
and with you in my heart I cannot

may good come your way

 

[ethereal~minx]

sorry for that which needs no answer

I'll be better because of this
what doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger right : )
the deeper your sorrow, the greater your joy~~~ and this is where I will stop!! I know I'm up for some GREAT joy one day, my GOD!!!!

thank you for knowing what you want
and being strong! you're teaching me : )

be well, love to you and all the best

I still LOVE you today though

 

[ethereal~minx]

"...the beauty of friendship, love, and especially intimacy, is the trust it takes when you give yourself away to the other person - when you stop worrying about yourself and what your getting out of a relationship and just worry about the other person completely. Because they're doing the same for you. And you have the faith that they will be there to take care of you just like you will for them. And that faith, to me, is the essence of true love. ..."


is this not beautiful???? OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[ethereal~minx]

Cancer intent never to hurt
if Leo knew wouldn't be gone
the emotional indifference
a Cancer reaction read wrong
hmm if Leo wasn't prideful
and unappreciated in love
Cancer reaction wouldn't hurt
interdependence would be enough



Leo goes on and on
idealistic ideals and dreams
lost to nevermore
on this eternal endless stream

i miss You, Father
I miss you, my son
it could all work out
~believe in the fiery sun

 

[ethereal~minx]

I was wrong


in more ways than one

 

[TheCleaningLady]

Re: 10/14/03

What does Spirit want me to know?

PASSION FLOWER
Latin-Passiflora incarnate

Plant Signature
Named for its resemblance to the finely-cut corona at the center of Christ's Crown of Thorns, the Passion Flower's delicate flowers were thought to symbolize elements of the crucifixion. the three stigmas, which receive the pollen, represent the nails piercing the Savior's hands and feet; and the five stamen represent his wounds. Some even claimed to see the cross itself in the flower's center. The vines of the plant reach to the tops of trees where their blossoms reach for the sun.

Flower Essence
This penetrating elixir helps us understand the deepest possible meaning of our own personal suffering, after which it assists in the ascent to our truest calling of service on the planet. As we surrender our souls to the sorrows and hardships that have been endured in this lifetime, we begin to experience these hardships as stepping stones or teachings that can lead to a resurrection into greater love and compassion.

Archetype
Christos, Krishna
It is not surprising that we find a great deal of correlation in the mystical and mythical teachings concerning Jesus and Krishna, since there is ample evidence to suggest that around the time of Christ, and even before his arrival on the world scene, a lively trade route existed between India and the Middle East, and there was extensive intermingling of these two centers of religious life. According to the legends of their respective cultures, both Jesus and Krishna were born of sacred female divinity, their forthcoming births announced to the world by a brilliant star. Both were hailed as redeemers who had descended to Earth in order to refine and attune the masses to the principle of heart-centered truth.

Healing
When the Passion Flower comes to you, you are called to the inner sanctuary of your soul in order to resurrect the divine love and compassion held therein. Like the vine of the Passion Flower, you reach ever upward through whatever suffering and hardship you have experienced on your long journey, to the source of all light, which is true Self-Knowledge.

Blessing
Holy flower of the vine,
Passion Flower you are thine,
Rise above to star-light Sun,
Showering compassion on everyone.

Very thoughtful post. You make some interesting points.