Unsent Messages to Him/Her

[ethereal~minx]

k!
think i should stop it?
i'm stick of the fucking questions
i've done nothing wrong
and
i'm not treated very nice

and i suppose that was a given

so

who is the stupid one

who knew the answer all along
who wanted it anyway?

guess the tears dont fall for no reason
now do they

 

[ethereal~minx]

"every love relationship revolves around quality time, time spent communication, talking, and listening. When we [commune with ourselves, we talk to our 'inner voice/higher voice/GOD']. When we read our [writings/divine words/Bibles] or listen to the spoken Word, [our 'inner voice/higher voice/GOD'] talks to us. Hence, there is two-way communication."

 

[ethereal~minx]

We cannot obey unless we love
We cannot love unless we know
and we cannot know unless we spend time and learn

in two-way communication

 

[ethereal~minx]

for the 2nd call
thank You
i needed to know
have a good day

 

[ethereal~minx]

have you ever felt your whole body turn red from your chest outward.. feel the redness & heat crawl slowly across your body...actually through your body~~~ deep in your veins... then you feel your throat constrict the same time your eyes water & your mouth tremble & that saliva thing start as you choke back the tears...

...i'm very sorry for responding to You the way i did~ it hurt

 

[ethereal~minx]

I've never had a problem via email or on the phone (in the past)
but to actually.... well, in this ?relationship? thing that I'm in~~~ to bring myself to call him anything other than his name is just so difficult. He's never told me to call him anything and before, when I was the one telling him I wanted him to be my Sir or Master ~~~jokingly because he was never really into this~~~ he said ok~~~ but ...

I recall on one distinct occasion, he did tell me he preferred Master. the reason I remember this is because of the seriousness of his look~~~

I don't know.

maybe it would be easier if he was more into the formality of it all, but he's not~~ it's nature to him
and w/ me coming from the only place I've known (lit) ..it's --I feel off with it

and I could just plain be waaay too much into my head

 

[ethereal~minx]

i really am learning~

impetuous i may be

D/s in 'nature'

is not the same D/s to me



the formality is not here

so i am questioning

oh i suppose this is an excuse

but it seems it is true

i hope You know my intent

was not to question You

 

[ethereal~minx]

Teacher ~

You are a Master far and wise

~~~~~~~~~~when i look into Your eyes

i erupt with electrons flying

joining into those blue heaven skies



Ohh You bring me to my knees

i've never felt so right

energy that knows no bounds

magnetic connection making light

 

[ethereal~minx]

Baby Hold On
Eddie Money
(E. Money/J.Lyon)

-Peaked at #11 in 1978
-Eddie's first and biggest hit until 1986
See: "Take Me Home Tonight"

Baby hold on to me
Whatever will be, will be
The future is ours to see
So baby hold on to me

Baby, what's these things
You've been sayin' about me
Behind my back
Is it true you might want a better life
Is it true you think
These things are lies, now
Think about it baby
I'm gonna take you to the top

So baby hold on to me
Whatever will be, will be (I say)
The future is ours to see
When you hold on to me

Hey-ey baby
You know the future's lookin' brighter
Every mornin' when I get up
Don't be thinkin' 'bout what's not enough, now baby
Just be thinkin' 'bout what we got
Think of all my love, now
I'm gonna give you all I got

So baby hold on to me
Whatever will be, will be
The future is ours to see
When you hold on to me

Oh-oh, rich man, poor man, now
Really don't mean all that much
Mama's always told you, girl
That money can't buy you love

So baby hold on to me
Whatever will be, will be
The future is ours to see
When you hold on to me

Yeah, eh
Baby hold on to me
Whatever will be, will be
The future is ours to see
When you hold on to me

I say Uh! Hold on
Uh-huh! Hold on to me tighter
I'm never gonna leave ya now
Can't you please believe me now
Never gonna let you go
So hold on to me tighter

Baby hold on to me
Whatever will be, will be
The future is ours to see
When you hold on to me

(Baby) Baby hold on to me
(Baby) Whatever will be, will be
(Baby) The future is ours to see
(Baby) When you hold on to me

Hold on!

From: "David Hayman"

 

[ethereal~minx]

older

my heart stops beating

a springing in my cheeks

reading and rereading Your words

reflection is what I seek

tears well in my eyes

I pause in my response

trail of tears to my heart

back to where they belong

to be 'recycled' like the others

that have came before

life lessons don't stop coming

my heart is an open door

to fly as high as I have

I'm willing to take the pain

7times it takes to learn

then a choice will be made
~~~~~~~~
Ok too long
~~~~~~~~~~
stop telling me how WRONG I am [do you know that's all I ever hear from you? is that really what you mean to tell me? in the words you don't even say?]
without even hearing/understanding what I have to say.
just stop all of this. if there is a time when you wish to interact with me, and not just when we're physical
--- know this----
when you KNOW what you want~~ I will still be loving you

 

[ethereal~minx]

what have i done?





when i hung up the phone last night

i felt a menace in Your voice

"I should have been mean" is what You said

i relived all of that days choices



the sent emails that got no response

the proclamations hidden in the text

did i piss You off again

i wish i knew intent in what You said



will there ever be a time~when my heart and mind are clear? will my world stop spinning

and will You still be near?

do You ever ask why

i question like i do

the problem of this will remain

until the reason is found in truth



it feels onesided sometimes

yet i am so fulfilled with You

the physical closeness we share

draws e~motion into the ruse



You know i believe You are with me

and You know my heart is with You

this electromagnetic bond we share

al;sdjflakjsdfljkasdlfjsaldjf

~ each experience brings us closer to who we ~

 

[ethereal~minx]

YES, I AM FEELING THAT YOU WANT MORE THAN I DO, I AM JUST LIVING DAY TO DAY AND MY LIFE IS FULL OF STUFF THAT KEEPS ME BUSY, YOURS IS FULL OF WHAT IS UP WITH ME AND XXXXX—PLEASE KEEP YOURSELF BUSY AND DON’T WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOU AND I ARE OR IT WILL NOT BE WHAT YOU WANT.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I want just as much as you do and don't fucking tell me different. either this is soooooo wrong for reasons UNKNOWN!!!!

or it's so right because it is unknown! we have never been here before ~neither one of us!!!! dizzy, headspins, yeah ~~~ you will not threaten me with loss anymore

you can deny this all you want ...I know my worth ~

Keep yourself busy too... remember that song ??? rushing through life and I don't know why???


when you figure out what you want, I'll still be loving you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

[ethereal~minx]

I said I didn't need it
but she said we're already there
You never know she said
when the other will no longer care

you never know about the other
but you'll know about you
yes this will be good to know
you may as well have the proof

so in case the other decides
to compromise your health for desire
you'll realize where motive lives
and where love's illusion should die

 

[ethereal~minx]

do you remember walking downtown holding me tightly against your shoulder?
do you remember turning to look at me~~feeling my breath on your lips?
do you remember smiling at this view of me in your firm embrace?
do you remember leading me, guiding me, whispering to me 'step up, down..?
do you remember the looks you were getting and the comments that were made?
do you remember how hot & sweaty we were because of this closeness?
do you remember cooling your body on the cold concrete as you drank from the broken water line?
do you remember the people watching us after you commanded me to 'drink' as you did?
tell me Baybee, do you remember?

 

[ethereal~minx]

blindfolded so i couldn't see
q-tips so i couldnt hear
tissue so i couldn't smell
hands bound so i couldn't touch
all so i could focus on the taste of the aphrodisiac that you would feed me...that your brother brought home

 

[ethereal~minx]

almost all day i make it
but about 3oclock
nothing comes from you
& the mindfucking does not stop
am i flippin masochistic
i scream deep inside
is that why i do it
do i want these tears i cry
i know i am responsible for this
i'm caught in YOUR sparkle eyes!!!!

 

[ethereal~minx]

for saying we need to talk
then asking what for
thanks
thanks for everything

 

[James G 5]

for putting me in this fucking tank
thanks a lot
asshole

http://www.malihini.com/places/rept_fair/images/older_bearded.jpg

 

[ethereal~minx]

for putting me in this fucking tank
thanks a lot
asshole

http://www.malihini.com/places/rept_fair/images/older_bearded.jpg

Hey, someone's lookin for this reptile I think : )



it's not that baaad~~I just make it sound that way
and yes, I put myself in the flippin tank & yes, I will ---*scratch that* I am out.

when you put yourself in such pain, you eventually look inside for answers~ I'm holding my mirror~ my question is... why? why to such depth? oooooh the answers don't come easy or quick but they do come~~~ and thaat heart knowledge is what's important~~ to KNOW love, learn love, obey love
it's the beals;kdjflaksjdfl;jdfljdlk
de'ja vu oooohooooohoooooh *shivers*

 

[ethereal~minx]

Good Morning Sparkle Eyes~~~
a friend of mine once said to me before the love of my life allowed himself to love & feeeel emotion~
if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with

I'll love you unconditionally, like a mother or a child
I know I've held so tightly to you~ and you KNOW the truth of why!!!

You in all your tactile knowledge & logic & intellect can and do run circles around me but as for knowing love ~heart knowledge~ I hold the black belt~I thank you for helping me
grow through all this pain but more importantly, through the connection/love we shared~
there was much we grew through and so much more to grow to but... I am allowing my feelings to get in the way----

every time you do it Sparke Eyes, you're lying not only to me but to yourself and everyone you love & care about~~ everyone that means something to you
but only you hold your mirror and only you know and are living
the devastating effects of numbing your feelings

there is a better way to attain your dreams Sparkle Eyes ,
and it is not through fight & struggle but through love (and this I'm learning too)~~~
one day you will also learn this truth~~~ I will always and forever
hold you in my heart as the most beautiful truth I've ever known~~ I will forever love you
Sparkle Eyes

~if you love someone, set them free...~ said Sparkle Eyes long long ago in the name of protecting his

 

[ethereal~minx]

if in your heart you won't acknowledge the bond/connection/love ~ this comment made or any behavior that you perceive as hurtful, this attempt to have a need met (however hurtful it was) can tear the best relationships apart~~~ if he was a real Man, he'd be humbling up and finding out how his love, his wife~could feel sooo hurt inside that she would say it~~~

we all behave to have needs met and when we experience new problems/issues in our lives~~~ we must LEARN to handle them gracefully because~~ we've never been there before! it takes two to get through these times and the two it takes need to realize there are needs to be met and not sticks to be thrown~~~ it takes strength and LOVE and believing we (you & I) want the same thing~~~ to come out together and on top~~~ for the best interests of all involved.

lacking this understanding=ignorance and that's a tough cookie to swallow when you know we as humans are capable of so much more than the problems that seem insurmountable~~~

 

[ethereal~minx]

we're all growing & learning, whether through love or pain/struggle!!! never forget we choose in every moment, to see through love or anti-love (coming from someone is still trying to live every moment in the moment & learning through the deeeepest pain of unconsciously choosing anti-love reactions to triggers that set me emoting)
no matter what choices we make, there is always growth~~~ and that is the beauty of this life : )

 

[ethereal~minx]

it's okay to love me and not be in-love with me
I've been there, I've done that
it's just difficult for me because you're the first real true in-love experience I've had
and to let go of the AMAZING in-love high, to believe that you didn't feel the same way
was just too painful for me to acknowledge

like I said before, I'm like a child ~brand new at this in-love stuff
but I can see that maybe you were like me in my marriage,
deserving of such sweeeet doting, love & care & (hindsight)wanting so much for it to be right
but knowing in the back of your mind that to go farther would be a compromise because you don't really know for sure who you are ...hence the mindfucking

it's ok and I will truly always love you as the most beautiful truth I've ever known
You showed me ~the me I can be, the Divine Masculine me that is out there
and I wish you the best~~~ I know that one day you will open up that protected heart
in all it's vulnerability and not be afraid to express who you truly are inside~~ because
baybee, you are sooo Divine!!!

 

[ethereal~minx]

 

[ethereal~minx]

I have so many thoughts
Ideas to share with you
So deep all of my feelings
Intensity thats true

To hold you close and whisper
Kisses soft on your skin
My hands through your hair
To touch you once again

Soft tender touching
Intimacy so sweet
Me melting into you
You melting into me

A moonlight dance on your deck
Singing love song to you
Our breathing passion rising
Touching the heart of you


And Baby,
If I need you, it’s because I love You.
You lift me ~ You give me courage to be strong You bring joy to my life You make me feel good and happy and free to be me -- it may be cliché but You make me want to be a better person .. I need you because I love you you are beauty to me, divine joy love You enrich my life with your experience, your knowledge, your presence… I grow more quickly because of you

I don’t love you because I need you. I NEED YOU because I LOVE YOU!!!!