Ummm...I don't know how to explain this one. Help?

[fgarvb1]

That is the thing about kids in general and especially boys.

If it is hidden they WILL find it and look at it. If it can be taken apart they will.

Hiding you "stuff" is OK. But you need a good strong lock and hasp on it!

The thing with small children is to keep explanations simple,plausible sounding to them and Don't make a big deal out of it. Also they go as much on your reactions as what you say.

 

[sheath]

Thanks for those posts.

My reaction was pretty calm on the outside, I think...on the inside I was thinking, "Holy FUCK, shit, what now?" But it is pretty easy for me to present a calm and in-control facade to the little ones. So hopefully, I didn't give away anything that would freak him out.

Now, here's to hoping my little man will accept a simple explanation.

S.

 

[herecomestherain]

Sex toys!!! Sheath, who would have thought it?

Hey there Sheath, rest assured you're not alone....

Take a look at this gorgeous article from hootisland.com, one of my fave net sites. The article is called "Bluff the little children" I think you'll enjoy it.

http://www.hootisland.com/columns/archives/00000050.html

Cheers 'rain

PS. The rest of the site is big fun (apart from an unusual colour scheme, which does things to my eyes...) it has some great silly stuff that'll make you smile.

 

[sheath]

LMAO!

Oh, wow, that was great...thank you SO much for posting that!

And yeah, the quilt thing? It really, really works. It works wonders. It has saved my ass (maybe literally?) more than once!

S.

 

[firefighter02]

As soon as I saw this I could only think that "Show and Tell" at the little tykes school will get much more interesting from here on out.

Of course the "quilt" comment..well at that point anything I tried to add would just be completely silly.

FF

 

[fille]

I don't necessarily disagree with your reluctance to lie to your child, but may I suggest that there is nothing wrong, on limited occasions, with simply explaining to your child that (a) he needs to learn to respect your privacy and should not have been in your private things, and (b) there are some things that children do not need to know, and when he gets old enough to talk about and understand what he found, you will let him know.

He is much too young to have that much detail about sexual behavior. A young child does not have any idea what to do with sexual information like that, and it may be disturbing, or it may come out later in inappropriate behavior with another child.

 

[Kiss Me]

You're not alone Sheath, despite all my best efforts I have my own 5 year old who discovered my toy collection at Christmas. I thought it was perfectly safe in a plain box on the topshelf of my wardrobe, but I didn't count for a 5 year old with a kitchen chair and a thirst to find hidden Christmas presents. Immediate reaction was to die of humiliation and panic. But after a few breathless moments (once he was safely back in the loungeroom) I found the control and ability to speak again. I simply explained that those were mummy's private things that were just for mummy and he shouldn't have been looking in my cupboards. As expected the little darling just had to reply with "What do they do?" After some split second thinking I told him that they were for when mummy was pregnant and had a sore back. He accepted it and after a brief spate of dire santa claus not coming if you sticky beak warnings he never asked again.

Maybe not the best answer but I don't plan to re open the conversation with any better explanations..... and now that my toys are in the empty space underneath the drawers of my new lockable bedside cupboard I hopefully won't have to. Even as teenagers if they get the lock undone to check the drawers they would have to physically pull the drawers totally out to see them.

 

[SXCRgirl]

I like KMF's explanation. Plain and simple. Boys aren't into much details anyway. Just say, those are your private things and that you would appreciate it if he didn't touch them.

Too funny though! These are the things that we have to look forward to as my nephew grows up! Well, his mommy, not me. HAHA!

 

[Guest]

 

[LosersWinItBig]

I'm going to regret saying this but its a true story. I was about 5 years old as well when this happened to me, i was in my parents room jumping on the bed and stuff and i fell off and when i went to stand up my moms dildo rolled out from under the bed, i picked it up and asked my mom what it was and she told me that mom and dad put "adult drinks" in there, i didn't know and/or care so i said ok and went back to playing and my mom hid it, now i'm 21 and i know what it was but i learned at the right age to understand it when i found out for myself what dildos and sex toys were my parents never told me what they were. Maybe you could consider this?

 

[lorddragonwolf]

my son came across a vibrator that was left on the floor under the bed in our room. he asked his mom what it was and she said a garden tool for digging holes. he gave it to her and hasnt asked since. he is too smart for his age and i think he alreadty knew what it was. have to get better locks for the door.

 

[Bandit58]

LOL it's bad enough when your 15 year old daughter finds your vibrator in your bedside drawers......"I was only looking for something to wear mum" Yeh right!

Though it does have a name now.....MR HAPPY........

 

[Spenser41]

OK OK... here is what I would say

Having helped raised 3 kids, who are now adults in their 20s, and knowing how kids are, to call them TOYS is not a good idea. TOYS to a kid only make them want to play with them too. EVEN if you say they are for adults.
Kids cannot separate them from their toys. Toys are the wrong word to use with a little child.
If I were you, I would say they are tools for mom to use in a stressful time. That would explain things without making them interesting were calling them toys will only want a child to find them and play with them again.
And I know you have hid them again, but the best place is somewhere very high and hidden.
I agree sex is something that should be talked to about kids but only on their level. TOO much information is not a good thing.
There are many good books and tools out there to help you deal with sexual issues with small kids.
Good Luck

 

[Lukie]

change purpose

I agree with most of the people saying to change it's purpose!
Say it's thearaputic! Use big words....Adults use that for Anxiety and stress related purposes...nothing a child could use it for. Big words can throw them off and you really aren't lying!
Ha!

 

[sheath]

LOL!

Thank you all for the stories, the advice, and the...ummm..cartoons. It feels good to know I'm not the only one who has dealt with the dreaded sight of a child holding a dildo and looking up with a questioning expression...lol

I've decided to simply tell him they are things adults use sometimes, and that he will learn more about them when he is older...and if he pushes the issue, I will go the 'vibrators are good massagers' route and explain what it can do on certain (non-sexual!) parts of the body to relieve stress.

Then I will wait for the next round of questions...



Thanks, all.

S.

 

[midwestyankee]

Sheath, this is a hijack. Just keep your hands on your keyboards and no one will get hurt.

I just finished reading this thread and it reminded me of a similar experience I had just last week.

About a week ago I spent several days visiting with my parents. The primary reason for the trip was to surprise my mother on her 75th birthday, but I also just wanted a few days to visit and relax with them.

So, dedicated litster that I am, a couple days into my vacation I decided to log on to see what's been happening here. But, since I didn't have a dial-up service installed on my laptop at the time, I used my father's computer. Imagine this: I'm starting to enter the lit url in the browser address bar when all of a sudden a dozen lit addresses drop down. I nearly had a heart attack. Apparently, my father has been reading stories here for quite a while. Once I verified that he had not been visiting the bulletin boards, I couldn't stop laughing.

No, I didn't bother bringing it up with him. But I will say this: based on the story addresses, he has good taste.

You may have your thread back now, Sheath.

 

[sheath]

Imagine this: I'm starting to enter the lit url in the browser address bar when all of a sudden a dozen lit addresses drop down. I nearly had a heart attack. Apparently, my father has been reading stories here for quite a while. Once I verified that he had not been visiting the bulletin boards, I couldn't stop laughing.

LOL!

That was almost a story of child being caught by parent.

Now, if you are REALLY brave, you can email him story links! LOL

S.

 

[midwestyankee]

LOL!

That was almost a story of child being caught by parent.

Now, if you are REALLY brave, you can email him story links! LOL

S.

Based on what I saw, he's doing a fine job of locating good stories. I just wanted to be sure that he hadn't found the bulletin boards. On the other hand, I might recommend a certain book that is soon to be released.

 

[sheath]

Based on what I saw, he's doing a fine job of locating good stories. I just wanted to be sure that he hadn't found the bulletin boards. On the other hand, I might recommend a certain book that is soon to be released.

Who knows? He might even be able to get an autographed copy.

S.

 

[MagicFingers]

Be calm

Kids at that age are into the mine, mine phase, where they think it is OK to grab anything in reach. You already said it wasn't that they were getting into some place where they shouldn't have been. However, you should continue to teach them what is ok to get into and what is not OK. This is Mommie's. Stay out of here.

If you yell and scream and tell them they did a very bad thing, they will want to know more about the object and never forget it. I agree with telling them it is a vibrator for tired muscles, and letting them touch it. Then they will forget all about it. Later, if they bring it up, you can massage them with the real massager, not the dildo type. You DO have a regular one, don't you?

Same with any sexual things and kids - tell them something simple, just enough to satisfy their curiosity, and just enough for their age level. There's so much stuff on TV and movies nowadays that I have had to do this several times. The older they get the more details they can learn.

 

[sheath]

Yes, I do have a regular one...and if it does come to the more probing questions (no pun intended), then I will let them handle it and explain it is a massager.

My reaction was calm...I can't imagine yelling at my children for something like that. Though I did want to yell at myself!

The question hasn't come up again, but my son is in a VERY inquisitive mood today, so...it will probably happen when I'm in the middle of dinner with a dozen things going on, you know?

But at least I'm ready for it now.

S.

 

[VSE]

so...it will probably happen when I'm in the middle of dinner with a dozen things going on, you know?

Like conversations with your mother, his friends mum, the vicar etc?

 

[sheath]

Like conversations with your mother, his friends mum, the vicar etc?

One of the rules of life: The most important discussions will be initiated at the most inopportune moments. Guaranteed.

S.

 

[sheath]

One of the rules of life: The most important discussions will be initiated at the most inopportune moments. Guaranteed.

S.

Of course, I had to quote myself here, because that's just what happened. *sigh*

The little man and I had that particular talk this morning while he was getting ready for school. Out of the blue, he asked me what those 'things' were for in that pretty treasure box. Now, that's my boy's manner of things...questions come at all sorts of odd moments, but always when you least expect them.

So I'm standing there pouring a glass of milk with one hand and signing a permission slip with the other and he asks me this. I simply said they were thing to help mommy relax when she needed to relax. Kinda like stress-relievers.

He accepted that just fine, but then asked me, "But, Mommy...Why do you have so MANY?"

Let me tell you...It was all I could do to keep from laughing my ass off right there at the kitchen sink. Hell, I come on here and pose the question and get sterling advice but did I ever once inquire as to ideas on how to explain how MANY? No, of course not. LMAO

So, after a moment of thinking, I told him that some of them do different things. I grasped at the first analogy I could...his building blocks.

"You have lots of blocks, right? Some of them for building different things? Like the big ones for building houses and the little ones for building cars and such?"

"Yes."

"Well...the blocks do different things. The things in that chest do different things, too. That's why I have so many."

*wince*

I also told him that those are private, just like he doesn't like me going into his room when he's not around, so he needs to stay out of my things too. Privacy is very important. He nodded and then grinned and said he understood what privacy meant. When I asked him what, exactly, he rolled his eyes and said in an imperial tone, "I'm not THAT young, Mom." Famous words from the five-year-old! LOL

Well, he accepted it just fine, I think. Me, on the other hand? Hell, I have got to get more prepared for these questions! LOL

Thanks, all who offered advice.

S.

 

[ReadyOne]

Ah "privacy" -- He knows!

What adults say when they want to be by themselves and do things they don't want anyone to know about. Like mom and dad fighting on the bed.