Umm...questions.

[neonflux]

Well, mainly I think of the bondage aspect of it. Like when I get tied up and cuffed, and then my g/f fucks me like that...

But I don't know if that actually goes into dom/sub, or if that's just bondage sex...or what.

I guess I'm just kind of curious, like I said. I wanna understand how people feel when they do these things before I try them with Brianna and find out I don't like them...

CuriousLez, a search on lit of the word bondage turned up a number of threads:

https://forum.literotica.com/search.php?searchid=5668676

On the appeal of pain:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=523592&page=1&pp=20&highlight=pain

On being submissive but not masochistic:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=75863&highlight=pain

A search on Lit of the word pain:

https://forum.literotica.com/search.php?searchid=5668760

Enjoy!
Neon

 

[Sir_Winston54]

CuriousLez, a search on lit of the word bondage turned up a number of threads:
https://forum.literotica.com/search.php?searchid=5668676
On the appeal of pain:
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=523592&page=1&pp=20&highlight=pain
On being submissive but not masochistic:
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=75863&highlight=pain
A search on Lit of the word pain:
https://forum.literotica.com/search.php?searchid=5668760
Enjoy!
Neon

Aha! We have a budding librarian/researcher in our midst!

 

[neonflux]

Aha! We have a budding librarian/researcher in our midst!

LOL, I write grants. Comes with the territory...

 

[curiouslez84]

Hmm...it seems to me from this topic that it isn't about the pain at all most of the time. Sometimes it's a release, and sometimes it's just a means to an end...so that the sub can get the adrenaline rush they need to cum. *Ponders...continues reading through links...*

Thanks for the links, btw.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Hmm...it seems to me from this topic that it isn't about the pain at all most of the time. Sometimes it's a release, and sometimes it's just a means to an end...so that the sub can get the adrenaline rush they need to cum. *Ponders...continues reading through links...*

Thanks for the links, btw.

While many people have similar feelings to various stimuli and/or situations, in the long run, what's most important is how you feel. As neon said

You have suggested that there are some aspects of BDSM that you're curious about and even aroused by. What might those be? What have YOU gotten out of your "small experimentations"? How has that "excited" your curiousity? What have YOU learned about what folks get out of their play from reading some of the other threads on these boards?

 

[Life_Noir]

Hmm...it seems to me from this topic that it isn't about the pain at all most of the time. Sometimes it's a release, and sometimes it's just a means to an end...so that the sub can get the adrenaline rush they need to cum. *Ponders...continues reading through links...*

Thanks for the links, btw.

You can beat this one to death, and the answer will still be "It's different for everyone."...No matter which end of the flogger you prefer to be on...

 

[curiouslez84]

Yeah, I guess you're right...I'll just have to talk to Brianna and we can figure out some stuff together...

Thanks for all the info and input, girlies (and guys, too).

 

[callinectes]

Yeah, I guess you're right...I'll just have to talk to Brianna and we can figure out some stuff together...

Thanks for all the info and input, girlies (and guys, too).

A lot of people find it helpful to go through a checklist and find areas of common interests. It can be a good jumping off point. If you google BDSM checklists you will find a ton of them.

 

[curiouslez84]

Thanks, we might just do that. The two lists I saved should be enough, though...

 

[callinectes]

Thanks, we might just do that. The two lists I saved should be enough, though...

Oh yes, more than enough. I didn't realize you already had some. That's what I get for not reading the entire thread.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Um...what's a vanilla relationship? 0_0

Vanilla = Term used by kinky people to refer to non-kinky relationships. "Vanilla" in this sense is meaning "plain", "commonplace", or "ordinary".

 

[curiouslez84]

Ah, okay. Thanks. And don't worry about it, callinectes.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

... And what's it like, being a dom? What's it like being a sub? ...

Hi curious,

No disrespect intended in this reply (I'm sure my many GLBT friends in the forum will vouch for my acceptance of alternative sexual preferences!) but for most of us, answering those questions would be about as difficult as your trying to answer one of us straights asking "So what's it like, being a lesbian? I mean, what do you get out of being attracted to a woman?"

See what we mean when we say "It's just who we are..."?

Some of us have been oriented this way as long as we can remember. Some discovered it within themselves later in life. For many of us, it is our true nature and path. What we get out if this, Dom or sub, is the peace that comes from being true to ourselves. I imagine it is a feeling similar to what many gays and lesbians feel when they finally come out to themselves, family and friends. Relief at not hiding, pride instead of shame, a sense of belonging and community, of being part of something greater than yourself...

I'm "out" about being a sadist and Dom and being in the BDSM lifestyle. While I may not broadcast it or shove it down people's throats or expose minor children to overt kinkiness (I won't take a singletail to janey's ass in the Wal-Mart parking lot...), I don't actively hide it from everyone either. If someone has a right to know about my sex life or relationship with janey, they'll know about the BDSM.

This is who I am. These are my people. This is my home. Welcome to our world!

 

[curiouslez84]

Heh...yeah, I pretty much understand this by now. But thanks for the input anyway. And peace? Erm...well...

Let's put it this way:

I was kicked outta my house and didn't even get to keep my stuff. I was basically disowned. My grandfather actually SPIT on me. He SPIT on me! Can you believe it?!

Anyway...so, yeah...not exactly peaceful. My g/f IS my family now...but I've met some really cool people through her, so it's all good. Just wish I could get a single damn b-day present from my folks - even a sack of coal would be nice. At least that's a commodity, eh? <_<

 

[MistressCandela]

I'm new to the forums and I can obviously only give you my own perspective, as others have pointed out it is a very individual thing but for me...

being a Domme means a number of things, number one is the fact that I am a sadist and I get off on pain, physical or otherwise. A woman who submits to me, who trusts me enough to honor me with her need, her desires, her whimpers, her screams, her tears, is an amazing gift (and so much fun!) In addition to that, I love the powerplay, I love finding creative and unusual ways to torture, terrify and entice within a consensual and loving framework. I love marking. I love teasing and using my sexual power against a woman. I love the sound of a crop striking, a bare hand against an ass, the smell of my favorite flogger, the sight of bound breasts... I love pushing limits. Why do I enjoy it? That's where it gets tricky! LOL

And as a switch, on the rare ocassions when I submit I can tell you that it is also a feeling of power in a way, the power involved in giving in, in pleasing my domme, in taking whatever she wants to dish out for me, and a complete departure from the mindspace I am used to, which makes it even more exciting. Giving over my power to someone who can take it and take me there is amazing. I also love the sensations involved, I love a good beating every now and then, to turn over my control completely and surrender to a deliciously evil and cruel woman who gets off on tormenting me.

I tried to go vanilla once and sex is fine but the complexity, creativity, trust, intimacy, pain, humiliation, etc. of bdsm is so much deeper for me than a 'regular' sexual encounter could ever be.

Have fun exploring bdsm with your girlfriend!

 

[curiouslez84]

You scare me.

*Hides from the sadist.*

But seriously...I don't think I could go for the whole total pain thing...I mean, yeah...okay...maybe some pain would be fun...but I don't think you and I would be a good match. Heh. But anyway...

Yeah, I'm going to explore it a bit with her. I figured I would talk about it with Brianna tonight when we went to bed. Bondage we're totally into, as I've mentioned above...but the rest we're just gonna have to explore and find out for ourselves. Like everyone said, it's a matter of trust...

But anyway, thanks for the warm wishes.

 

[MistressCandela]

You scare me.

*Hides from the sadist.*

Fear is hot too

 

[curiouslez84]

LOL

 

[Life_Noir]

Hi curious,

No disrespect intended in this reply (I'm sure my many GLBT friends in the forum will vouch for my acceptance of alternative sexual preferences!) but for most of us, answering those questions would be about as difficult as your trying to answer one of us straights asking "So what's it like, being a lesbian? I mean, what do you get out of being attracted to a woman?"

See what we mean when we say "It's just who we are..."?

Some of us have been oriented this way as long as we can remember. Some discovered it within themselves later in life. For many of us, it is our true nature and path. What we get out if this, Dom or sub, is the peace that comes from being true to ourselves. I imagine it is a feeling similar to what many gays and lesbians feel when they finally come out to themselves, family and friends. Relief at not hiding, pride instead of shame, a sense of belonging and community, of being part of something greater than yourself...

I'm "out" about being a sadist and Dom and being in the BDSM lifestyle. While I may not broadcast it or shove it down people's throats or expose minor children to overt kinkiness (I won't take a singletail to janey's ass in the Wal-Mart parking lot...), I don't actively hide it from everyone either. If someone has a right to know about my sex life or relationship with janey, they'll know about the BDSM.

This is who I am. These are my people. This is my home. Welcome to our world!

Once again Geoff proves to be one of the clearest and most talented amongst us at conveying the essence of things..

I really think he should have been a teacher..

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Smart-alec Answers

Oops my bad.

 

[curiouslez84]

 

[MikeUknow]

It is what it is.......

I agree with Geoff...why is it exciting? I don't know, but it is...and that's ok for me and my partners. I switch and I love having a woman playing with me for her pleasure and I love doing it for her. When she submits to me, I feel so good in knowing she is trusting herself to me. It's great.

 

[curiouslez84]

Well, my g/f somehow managed to get off early and spent about an hour searching for a collar and bracelet that were connected by a chain. We're gonna try it out tomorrow and Tuesday (her two days off) to see what's what. You know, just to see how I like it, and to see what she thinks of seeing me like that. We're gonna start out with simple stuff...

 

[Sir_Winston54]

<Snip> We're gonna start out with simple stuff...

That's a very good place to start. http://i183.photobucket.com/albums/x95/Sir_Winston54/appl.gif Too many people try (for example) canes before they've ever tried spanking or paddles or floggers, and scare themselves half to death. Sounds like you and Brianna gots brains.

http://i183.photobucket.com/albums/x95/Sir_Winston54/animal-smiley-060.gif​

 

[curiouslez84]

LOL No, she's the brainy one. I just follow her around wagging my cute little tail.