Ugly. Attractive. ??

[fieldmouse]

Hello everyone, I'm new! AND I have a question.


It has recently occured to me that I am strangely attracted to that which repulses me. (?!) I prefer the men I'm with to be fairly unattractive. (Yet, they are of course, attractive to me.) It even recently dawned on me that my attraction is heightened when I sense a physically triggered repulsion within myself towards them. The most attractive man, to me, is one who I look at and cannot tell if I am very attracted or very unattracted.

I remember being a child, seeing a man on television. I could not place if he was VERY attractive or extremely ugly. In the end, I found that I was more drawn toward this person because of this strange feeling. This feeling seems to have carried on into my adult life. While I can recognise the token "hot guy", they don't hold as much captivation over me as a man who makes me want to puke.

I also am SO incredibly outrageously repulsed by male genetalia, it's hilarious! But, at the same time, nothing is more erotic.

Does anyone else experience a similar thing, and if so, does it have a name? And is it a phase?

 

[sweet & juicy]

You are not alone.
Live it up!!
Revel in it!!

 

[Saint inda City]

very interesting....

i dont have answers for ya, and i dont think i'm ugly/repulsive, but it's nice to hear there's hope out there for the majority of us guys that dont look like brad pitt!

question: unaroused male genetalia can certainly seem gross, but when it's nice and hard do you like it? how bout when you're not looking at it, but it's in your mouth or pussy, do you like it then?

oh, and welcome to Lit!

 

[fieldmouse]

Additional

I feel the need to make an addition, after reviewing my post.

It's not so much UGLY that is attractive.

The type of person I'm talking about is not conventionally attractive, and maybe that's what gets my attention at first. But after that, the fact that I'm paying them attention makes me feel likes I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing, dirty, yet also elated and excited.

For me, nothing is more exciting than the thought of having sex with one of these people, yet nothing horrifies me more.

It's almost as if attractiveness causes fear in me, or fear causes attraction. I dunno which comes first!!!

GAH.

If only I could put it into words.

Anyway, that's the best I can do for now. :s

fieldmouse.

 

[fieldmouse]

Thanks

Thanks for the welcome.

Good to know I'm not alone

I have no aversion to sex, it just makes me feel strange?!???

 

[crazybbwgirl]

A pretty face is highly over rated if you ask me. I like a man with some character on his face. Like he's lived an interesting life.

 

[EJFan]

i've always had the same sort of feelings about women as fieldmouse has about men. women considered to be gorgeous by the general public (julia roberts, halle berry, jennifer aniston types) don't do it for me.

to me, the most attractive female celebrities tend to be the quirky or more "average looking" ones. christa miller, lori petty, pam stone types are more my style. they have more of a generic kind of beauty rather than that supermodel look.

and just for the record... male genitalia doesn't do much for me either. lol.

 

[drew62]

I agree with EJFan, the "perfect" woman does nothing for me. Im attracted to women who are not barbie doll types. I like them to have a little extra on them. I dont know why, but I am turned on by seeing a female in clothing that is probably a size or 2 small for them. Nothing sexier than seeing a little bit of a fat roll over the tops of their pants or shorts.

To the men who love the perfect types, you can have them. Give me someone who the rest of the world would give anywhere from a 4-8 any day.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and boy would I love to beholding a sexy chubby lady right now.

 

[Nemasis Enforcer]

Hello everyone, I'm new! AND I have a question.


It has recently occured to me that I am strangely attracted to that which repulses me. (?!) I prefer the men I'm with to be fairly unattractive. (Yet, they are of course, attractive to me.) It even recently dawned on me that my attraction is heightened when I sense a physically triggered repulsion within myself towards them. The most attractive man, to me, is one who I look at and cannot tell if I am very attracted or very unattracted.

I remember being a child, seeing a man on television. I could not place if he was VERY attractive or extremely ugly. In the end, I found that I was more drawn toward this person because of this strange feeling. This feeling seems to have carried on into my adult life. While I can recognise the token "hot guy", they don't hold as much captivation over me as a man who makes me want to puke.

I also am SO incredibly outrageously repulsed by male genetalia, it's hilarious! But, at the same time, nothing is more erotic.

Does anyone else experience a similar thing, and if so, does it have a name? And is it a phase?

First of all Welcome to Lit!!!

Boy do I wish there were more women like you where I live...

I've been rejected and told im ugly/unattractive by every girl I've ever asked out..

Don't think theres anything wrong with it and it may be a phase but I doubt it since you seem to have been like it from a young age.

We're attracted to who were attracted to.. we don't really have much choice in the matter I tend to find.

I'd post a pic of myself but don't know if it would be appropreate

 

[Cakegirl]

I have a theory (and I'm allowed to speculate because I know fieldmouse in RL)...

Fieldmouse is attracted to effeminate guys... When she says "Oooh, he's cute", I'm the one going "EEEW, Fieldmouse, he looks like a pre-pubescent GIRL"... And likewise, when I see a guy that I think is cute, fieldmouse is the one saying "GROSS, he's too big and muscly!"

I'm not a psychologist, but it seems to me that she's attracted to people that are less threatening, physically and emotionally.

Why?

I dunno!

Cakegirl

 

[fieldmouse]

Thanks everyone for your help, hah, you are all a lot nicer than I expected!

I suppose all those "unattractive men" out there should be thankful there are women like me!!!

 

[Bobmi357]

I have a theory (and I'm allowed to speculate because I know fieldmouse in RL)...

Fieldmouse is attracted to effeminate guys... When she says "Oooh, he's cute", I'm the one going "EEEW, Fieldmouse, he looks like a pre-pubescent GIRL"... And likewise, when I see a guy that I think is cute, fieldmouse is the one saying "GROSS, he's too big and muscly!"

I'm not a psychologist, but it seems to me that she's attracted to people that are less threatening, physically and emotionally.

Why?

I dunno!

Cakegirl

Since you're busy picking it apart, its not uncommon for someone that doesn't feel comfortable with their own perceived appearance to find themselves picking someone that will make them look better by comparison.

Picking people less threatening could be her signaling that she feels threatened and feels unable to cope with the situations. If she's happy with the situation accept it and let her rock with it. If it truly bothers her, she try to find why she feels threatend and deal with it.

On a more personal note however, your friend may have simply learned a lesson that many people don't learn until much later in life. That looks mean little and the person inside is what really counts. That mousey little guy she's hanging with might give you the willies, but treats her like a queen and is a dynamo in bed.

Something to think about.

 

[jacuzzigal]

A pretty face is highly over rated if you ask me.

Amen!

I think there are so many things that make people attractive that aren't necessarily tied to how they look but who they are...

 

[voot]

I've always thought that (a) you don't have to be physically attractive to be sexy, and (b) even the most repulsive things have some sort of beauty hidden within them.

 

[Nemasis Enforcer]

I've always thought that (a) you don't have to be physically attractive to be sexy, and (b) even the most repulsive things have some sort of beauty hidden within them.

You obviously don't come from where I do, LOL

Here if your not physically attractive, (i.e like me, im not) then you don't get a chance to be sexy...

In the 3 years since I was 16 and left school, I have had 19 rejections on the grounds im too unattractive...

Hmmm may have to find a way to move to where all the people on this thread are, LOL

 

[Darkknight2010]

You obviously don't come from where I do, LOL

Here if your not physically attractive, (i.e like me, im not) then you don't get a chance to be sexy...

In the 3 years since I was 16 and left school, I have had 19 rejections on the grounds im too unattractive...

Hmmm may have to find a way to move to where all the people on this thread are, LOL

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang, that's cold!

Frankly, everyone here is looking for the next hottie, but people ALSO relalize that EVERYTHING has to click in order to really, truely enjoy being with someone.

 

[jacuzzigal]

Hmmm may have to find a way to move to where all the people on this thread are, LOL

Definitely! There's a big world out there that's full of people not as cold as those 19 people.

 

[jacuzzigal]

EVERYTHING has to click in order to really, truely enjoy being with someone.

Sooooooooooo true, Knight. There are so many things that need to click or fall into place. And then there's timing.... sometimes I'm amazed anyone gets together with all the factors that need to be in place!

 

[crazybbwgirl]

Sooooooooooo true, Knight. There are so many things that need to click or fall into place. And then there's timing.... sometimes I'm amazed anyone gets together with all the factors that need to be in place!

Interesting that you should say that. My lover and I have lived in the same small town for 25 years. At one point we lived right down the street from eachother. But we never met, ran into eachother, talked in a bar, nothing (I'm talking 7,000 residents, 3 bars in this town) until 4 years ago. And at that point we could barely take our eyes off eachother! We ponder how this happened all the time. Timing is everything!

 

[jacuzzigal]

Interesting that you should say that. My lover and I have lived in the same small town for 25 years. At one point we lived right down the street from eachother. But we never met, ran into eachother, talked in a bar, nothing (I'm talking 7,000 residents, 3 bars in this town) until 4 years ago. And at that point we could barely take our eyes off eachother! We ponder how this happened all the time. Timing is everything!

Absolutely!

 

[MercyMia]

Another angle to consider about attractitve people.

What appeals to each of us is highly personalized, customized over a lifetime of sensory input, cultural training, ethnic background, etc. Consider this, though. There are those attractive people who know they're good looking and they act like it's the most important thing about them and that everyone should take notice and revolve around them. You know, the primpers--the ones who fluff their hair every couple of minutes or check their nails or put on that sugary sweet fake smile when they want to connect with someone they need something from?
On the other end of the spectrum, there are the cute, quirky people who aren't appealing to everyone else in general but have some deeply endearing trait or personal tic (like a funky laugh or an unconscious way of crinkling up the eyes when deep in thought or funny knock knees) and these people make you fall immediately in love with them just for that one darling thing.

But I agree with everyone who has said that the pretty face is highly over rated. It's just too much work for the beauty and the beholder. Show me a guy who is smart, clean and on time and I'll sit down for a long cup of coffee with him!

(Does anyone watch the Australian sitcom, Kath and Kim? Cuz Kath's boyfriend, Kel, is exactly the kind of not handsome but oh so sexy guy I mean!)

 

[voot]

Another angle to consider about attractitve people.

What appeals to each of us is highly personalized, customized over a lifetime of sensory input, cultural training, ethnic background, etc. Consider this, though. There are those attractive people who know they're good looking and they act like it's the most important thing about them and that everyone should take notice and revolve around them. You know, the primpers--the ones who fluff their hair every couple of minutes or check their nails or put on that sugary sweet fake smile when they want to connect with someone they need something from?
On the other end of the spectrum, there are the cute, quirky people who aren't appealing to everyone else in general but have some deeply endearing trait or personal tic (like a funky laugh or an unconscious way of crinkling up the eyes when deep in thought or funny knock knees) and these people make you fall immediately in love with them just for that one darling thing.

But I agree with everyone who has said that the pretty face is highly over rated. It's just too much work for the beauty and the beholder. Show me a guy who is smart, clean and on time and I'll sit down for a long cup of coffee with him!

(Does anyone watch the Australian sitcom, Kath and Kim? Cuz Kath's boyfriend, Kel, is exactly the kind of not handsome but oh so sexy guy I mean!)

That's very insightful. Reminds me of a line in a movie I saw last week (Anatomie II): "Shiny apple, rotten inside."

 

[Cakegirl]

... find themselves picking someone that will make them look better by comparison. ...Picking people less threatening could be her signaling that she feels threatened and feels unable to cope with the situations....your friend may have simply learned ...That looks mean little and the person inside is what really counts

Hey Bobmi,

Maybe it is insecurity, but she is a very conventionally attractive girl. A lot of the time she doesn't even realise the effect she has on men; although she knows it's there, she doesn't really play it up or overdo it.

So I think it is feeling threatened, but I don't know why.

And I don't think it's because she's overlooking the outside to see the inside - looks are VERY important to her... It's important that the person look feminine/ugly! She has the same reactions to photos of people (whose personality she does not know) that she has to real people.

Cakegirl

 

[Willing and Unsure]

Re: Additional

The type of person I'm talking about is not conventionally attractive, and maybe that's what gets my attention at first.

if it's any consolation, I'm attracted to the same type of guy.

 

[jaded_lily]

You like who you like, if that 's what you want then do what you gotta do, and stop letting people pick apart or analyzise who you are.