Two Weeks Smoke Free

[Sir_Winston54]

I lost my father on thursday. I DID NOT smoke a cig...as many times as I really wanted to I knew that I could just not do that because he was really cheering me on.

Almost 5 weeks now. Thank you all for the encouragment.

He is still, and always will be, with you and for you. Congratulations on not giving in, you stubborn wench, you!

 

[JupitersGirl]

I lost my father on thursday. I DID NOT smoke a cig...as many times as I really wanted to I knew that I could just not do that because he was really cheering me on.

Almost 5 weeks now. Thank you all for the encouragment.

Damn. Just damn, KC. I know he's proud of you.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I lost my father on thursday. I DID NOT smoke a cig...as many times as I really wanted to I knew that I could just not do that because he was really cheering me on.

Almost 5 weeks now. Thank you all for the encouragment.

Oh KC... I am so very sorry for your loss. I don't know if you and your father were close or distant, best of friends or worst of enemies, but I know how hard it is to lose a parent. My father passed away in 1986. If you need a friend to vent to, or just need a {{{{{HUG}}}}}, I'm a here.

 

[graceanne]

I'm sorry for your loss. Congratulations on not smoking. *hugs*

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Oh Miss KC, my condolences for the loss of your father

To surpass such a challenging time free of vice is a superb accomplishment .

Genuinely outstanding.

 

[trisquel_astur]

Receive my condolences too, sweetie.

Kiss a non smoker is always better (7 years without smell like an ashtray now )

 

[DVS]

I'm glad you decided to quit smoking, KC. We lose too many good people, because they aren't strong enough to fight it. I'm very glad you are a fighter and still going strong.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Thanks for your kind words.
I already miss dad so much that my heart feels like it is breaking but i know i won't smoke because i know how important my stopping was to him.

 

[WriterDom]

My two brothers both dip. At least when they are away from the wives. I'm glad I never got a taste for that. I would have smoked at least 219,000 times by now if I hadn't quit.

The damage it would have caused my penis alone is frightening.

 

[FurryFury]

*HUGS and HUGS*

I am so sorry for your loss.

I lost my father 17 years ago. It took apart my world, my business, my heart, my family and my marriage. I still can't believe he is just gone. That will never be right in my heart, never.

However, though I miss him and think about him everyday, I have found a way to live. I've also made a better life for myself.

 

[Kajira Callista]

It has been a week since my father breathed his last breath (it feels like 10 mins ago) I almost bought a pack of cigs when I went to the store but rugrat number two knocked a whole shelf of stuff over just as i was going to go buy them. Divine intervention?

 

[SubKekiLee]

It has been a week since my father breathed his last breath (it feels like 10 mins ago) I almost bought a pack of cigs when I went to the store but rugrat number two knocked a whole shelf of stuff over just as i was going to go buy them. Divine intervention?

Yes Kajira it is Divine intervention I am sure.. and I know how hard it is to lose your dad I lost mine on Fathers Day 2 years ago and still feels like yesterday.. If you need a friend I am here for you.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

It has been a week since my father breathed his last breath (it feels like 10 mins ago) I almost bought a pack of cigs when I went to the store but rugrat number two knocked a whole shelf of stuff over just as i was going to go buy them. Divine intervention?

Hmm... that's the first time I ever saw you refer to RR2 (OR 1!) as anything related to divine...

No, I take that back... I think you've called 'em both "angels" on occasion.

Maybe it was your dad who knocked the shelf of stuff over, knowing you wouldn't be too hard on the lil one.

 

[DVS]

It has been a week since my father breathed his last breath (it feels like 10 mins ago) I almost bought a pack of cigs when I went to the store but rugrat number two knocked a whole shelf of stuff over just as i was going to go buy them. Divine intervention?

I felt the presence of my dad in my house, a few minutes after he died. I think he came to see me one last time, on his way to heaven.

I couldln't see the physical him, but I could pinpoint his presence in the upper corner of the room I was in. It was an overpowering feeling. There was a similar instance when my mother died, but she visited my sisters.

Yes, I feel very strongly about things like this. If someone who's passed has the desire to do it, I'm sure they can do such things. And, I'd say your father would have the desire to do it. It was just his way of reminding you. And it worked, didn't it.

It won't happen every time, though. I think it takes a lot of energy for them to move physical things. So, it's up to you to keep up the fight. You can tell now, that he's watching you. And he's counting on you. We all are.

It's going to be pretty difficult to be around cigarettes or even around someone who's smoking for a while. Just the smell of a pack will get your attention. Do what you need to do to keep from those temptations. Reroute your path, if you have to. You don't want your father to be dumping things over all of the time. I really don't think the stockboy would like that.

 

[Kajira Callista]

I'm sad today...so sad that my heart feels broken in a million pieces. I wanted you all to know that this thread is really really helping me stay away from a habit that i know i could pick up again like i never stopped. Thank you all so very much.

 

[FurryFury]

One thing that helped me a great deal was writing out my feelings as if I were speaking with my Dad.

Another was reading books about dealing with grief.

*hugs*

I also went to some grieving support groups, mostly in an attempt to help my Mom because she was seriously falling apart, partly because the cancer support groups that I dragged my Dad to, helped him.

 

[DVS]

Can't you get some more of what assisted you in stopping, as a little added help for a while?

 

[graceanne]

*hugs* I'm really, really sorry.

 

[brioche]

I'm sad today...so sad that my heart feels broken in a million pieces. I wanted you all to know that this thread is really really helping me stay away from a habit that i know i could pick up again like i never stopped. Thank you all so very much.

Oh sweetie, I really feel for you. Since I read your post about your dad I have been thinking of you so much...it's totally normal for you to feel that way of course, and I hope you can feel the waves of support coming from us all. :hugs:

 

[Sir_Winston54]

http://i183.photobucket.com/albums/x95/Sir_Winston54/HUG.gif

Need I say more?

 

[ShyVixen]

KC, I am extremely sorry to hear about the loss of your father ((hugs))

It's an unbearable time right now, but don't pick up those cigarettes again. You've gone four weeks without one, you can do it ((hugs))

 

[Kajira Callista]

It has been six weeks. I think the smoking isn't gonna happen anymore.
Im fighting severe depression....ya know when you dont even wanna wake in the morning or get dressed or anything...Im sure it is all part of my father dying but it sucks right now so i prolly wont be around for a while. Just know that your encouragment will stick with me and i thank all of you for it.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Congratulations on the six weeks - I know that your father is very proud of you, both for having quit and for not giving in to the temptation you experienced at his passing.

As for the depression ... talk to your doctor about getting something to help you through the early stages of grief. Sometimes "better living through chemistry" is *not* just a slogan. Your dad would want you to get through this and to continue to pass on the lessons of love he taught you to the kids.

Besides all that - you know how to reach me if and when you want.

 

[FurryFury]

IMO, this sort of depression is entirely normal when losing someone. I know I felt that way after my father died.

I think you really need to allow yourself to do nothing and go through your feelings at this time. As long as you can still function enough to take care of the bare minimum you need to for your life, your kids and such, it's actually okay in my book to grieve.

I think a lot of people get stuck in the grieving process because they try to avoid their feelings. That generally leads to stuffing those feelings down and not working through them.

This is one of the hardest things in the world to do. We were never taught to deal with loss.

I'm not a big fan of drugs, I think they can get in the way of the normal grieving process but some do find them helpful for depression which is part of the loss reaction. If you think your are clinically depressed or you have thoughts about hurting yourself you might want to seek help.

Other things that might help include, exercise. Yeah, I know you don't feel like you have the energy but believe me it can and will help.

Continuing with things that can help, researching and reading about how to deal with loss, support groups, talking to anyone that will listen, getting involved in helping others less fortunate than yourself, writing out your feelings in a letter the person who is gone, crying, being kind to yourself if you don't feel like cleaning and instead take a bath or nap, and doing little kindnesses for yourself or others.

There is no time table for grieving either. Very soon you will find people start getting impatient with you. Most think six months is long enough so get over it. For some it may be long enough but for many it is not. Give yourself the freedom to do the hard work of dealing with loss on your own time table not what someone else expects.

I tried to make ONE rule when my Mom and I were going through the loss of my Dad. Let's just do the best we can and make NO significant changes for at least a year. You see I was afraid of sweeping changes made for the wrong reasons that we would look back on and regret.

My Mom couldn't hold to that and now, over sixteen years later she if finally regretting the huge changes she made.

One other thing I did that may or may not have helped. I took her on a trip. My idea on the trip was to show her we could live and do a trip together without Daddy. She both enjoyed the trip and fell apart. I considered it a failed thing until she recently mentioned how much it had meant to her. This was just a road trip to somewhere we didn't have memories with Daddy, not a costly one.

Anyway, my thoughts are with you KC.

*HUGS and HUGS*

I think you are doing great!

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Miss KC , my offers still stand and pm now has space . Apologies for that, it was bad timing .

Thinking of you