*True Confessions*
- Thread starter Jewelz
- Start date
- Status
Curious_Fem
All that ass
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2002
- Posts
- 6,276
If I dream, I usually don't remember them. But I woke up this morning from the most horrific dream I think I've ever had. It seemed so real that now, 4 hours after waking up, my hands are still shaking and I feel like I'm on the verge of tears.
What an awful feeling.
What an awful feeling.
InLust
Dreamer in residence
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2003
- Posts
- 3,105
An old farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something.
The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule.
He tried to plow a lot.
One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field.
He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.
All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.
At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd.
When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.
This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.
So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.
The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."
"And what about the men?" the minister asked.
"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."
The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule.
He tried to plow a lot.
One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field.
He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.
All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.
At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd.
When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.
This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.
So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.
The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."
"And what about the men?" the minister asked.
"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."
nrcma98
Here, there, and
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2001
- Posts
- 2,593
Confession is good
Dear Middle School;
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at an assisted home for the aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.
My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping. The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I said, "Kiss my ass!"
Thank you for that opportunity.
Sincerely,
(name withheld to protect the elderly)
Dear Middle School;
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at an assisted home for the aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.
My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping. The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I said, "Kiss my ass!"
Thank you for that opportunity.
Sincerely,
(name withheld to protect the elderly)
gina3
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2002
- Posts
- 4,619
Hi guys!
I know I haven't been "around" for a while, but I just wanted to add my thoughts. I've always felt welcome and comfortable being me here. The past few months have been very trying for me but I've kept up with the postings from time to time. I do not "know" any of you personally, but I feel like I know you well enough to be family. Everyone has something unique and worthwhile to share, that's what makes TC a great place!
I will finally have more "me time" at the end of June when I am FINALLY DONE WITH SCHOOL and have taken my securities licensing exam that I have to take for work. But studying all the time has really cut out just about all my free time over the past few months. I haven't even been posting very many pictures- something I've always enjoyed. And I hope to be able to do that again soon too!
Since I am here, I will make a confession:
I never felt so old in my life as I did two weeks ago. I took Bored to the oral surgeon to have his wisdom teeth removed. The nurse came out into the waiting room to call him back to watch a video before the procedure. As he was walking back, she asked him, "Would you like your MOTHER to come back with you?"
MOTHER???
MOTHER????
Now I admit that I am a few years older than he is, but COME ON- there's no way I look old enough to be anyone's mother, much less the mother of a 24 yr old!! Needless to say, that did not help my depression over my upcoming 30th birthday. I'm not looking forward to it.
There's just so many things I wanted to have accomplished by now that just have not happened. I'm glad I did it, but starting my life over after my disaster of a marriage was HARD.
That being said, I'm glad I had TC to come to when my life blew up and I needed friends- LOTS of friends. I appreciate that! I can't wait til I have more time to catch up with everyone and come back here regularly!
I know I haven't been "around" for a while, but I just wanted to add my thoughts. I've always felt welcome and comfortable being me here. The past few months have been very trying for me but I've kept up with the postings from time to time. I do not "know" any of you personally, but I feel like I know you well enough to be family. Everyone has something unique and worthwhile to share, that's what makes TC a great place!
I will finally have more "me time" at the end of June when I am FINALLY DONE WITH SCHOOL and have taken my securities licensing exam that I have to take for work. But studying all the time has really cut out just about all my free time over the past few months. I haven't even been posting very many pictures- something I've always enjoyed. And I hope to be able to do that again soon too!
Since I am here, I will make a confession:
I never felt so old in my life as I did two weeks ago. I took Bored to the oral surgeon to have his wisdom teeth removed. The nurse came out into the waiting room to call him back to watch a video before the procedure. As he was walking back, she asked him, "Would you like your MOTHER to come back with you?"
MOTHER???
MOTHER????
Now I admit that I am a few years older than he is, but COME ON- there's no way I look old enough to be anyone's mother, much less the mother of a 24 yr old!! Needless to say, that did not help my depression over my upcoming 30th birthday. I'm not looking forward to it.
There's just so many things I wanted to have accomplished by now that just have not happened. I'm glad I did it, but starting my life over after my disaster of a marriage was HARD.
That being said, I'm glad I had TC to come to when my life blew up and I needed friends- LOTS of friends. I appreciate that! I can't wait til I have more time to catch up with everyone and come back here regularly!
omahaman2
Here's your sign
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2001
- Posts
- 18,171
Re: Hi guys!
http://cards.webshots.com/resources2/7/7457.jpg
LOL!!!
gina3 said:I know I haven't been "around" for a while, but I just wanted to add my thoughts. I've always felt welcome and comfortable being me here. The past few months have been very trying for me but I've kept up with the postings from time to time. I do not "know" any of you personally, but I feel like I know you well enough to be family. Everyone has something unique and worthwhile to share, that's what makes TC a great place!
I will finally have more "me time" at the end of June when I am FINALLY DONE WITH SCHOOL and have taken my securities licensing exam that I have to take for work. But studying all the time has really cut out just about all my free time over the past few months. I haven't even been posting very many pictures- something I've always enjoyed. And I hope to be able to do that again soon too!
Since I am here, I will make a confession:
I never felt so old in my life as I did two weeks ago. I took Bored to the oral surgeon to have his wisdom teeth removed. The nurse came out into the waiting room to call him back to watch a video before the procedure. As he was walking back, she asked him, "Would you like your MOTHER to come back with you?"
MOTHER???
MOTHER????
Now I admit that I am a few years older than he is, but COME ON- there's no way I look old enough to be anyone's mother, much less the mother of a 24 yr old!! Needless to say, that did not help my depression over my upcoming 30th birthday. I'm not looking forward to it.
There's just so many things I wanted to have accomplished by now that just have not happened. I'm glad I did it, but starting my life over after my disaster of a marriage was HARD.
That being said, I'm glad I had TC to come to when my life blew up and I needed friends- LOTS of friends. I appreciate that! I can't wait til I have more time to catch up with everyone and come back here regularly!
http://cards.webshots.com/resources2/7/7457.jpg
LOL!!!
naughtygirl
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2000
- Posts
- 6,884
Good morning *bump*
TGIF!!!!
Sorta -- great thoughts and I related to so many of them. I hope you are settled into FL and that it truly feels like your home. I've wondered how you have adjusted. ( We seem to be sharing parrallel lives right now!)
Lusty! Walk towards the light! Walk toward the light!
I hope the last two weeks move quickly for you...
Gina -- I would have been mortified. I don't see anyway that she could have mistaken you for his "mother"; you certainly do NOT look that old to me. 30 felt traumatic for me as well, not sure why...but once I turned 30 it wasnt so bad.
(((((CF)))))) -- i hope your night was "nightmare free".
Fiesty -- I always love your confessions; they help me keep up a bit with whats going on in your world. Maybe we should set a phone call time for over the weekend.
Oman *smooch* Sweet man...
I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday!!
TGIF!!!!
Sorta -- great thoughts and I related to so many of them. I hope you are settled into FL and that it truly feels like your home. I've wondered how you have adjusted. ( We seem to be sharing parrallel lives right now!)
Lusty! Walk towards the light! Walk toward the light!
I hope the last two weeks move quickly for you... Gina -- I would have been mortified. I don't see anyway that she could have mistaken you for his "mother"; you certainly do NOT look that old to me. 30 felt traumatic for me as well, not sure why...but once I turned 30 it wasnt so bad.
(((((CF)))))) -- i hope your night was "nightmare free".
Fiesty -- I always love your confessions; they help me keep up a bit with whats going on in your world. Maybe we should set a phone call time for over the weekend.
Oman *smooch* Sweet man...
I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday!!
mcccolland
Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2004
- Posts
- 34
truth
i will give this a shot
i love sex all types
i hate bitchy people
ibeat off all the time
ifucked a mom dauter and son team once it was great
my wife and i have had wild sex
i love to fist her pussy
i got fucked in the ass and like i like it
my first swing i was scared
i play with my cock and think about my wife and black men fucking and sucking
i fucked my sister in law in the ass and she loved it
i would go to a all male orgy
iv tasted my own cum
i ate my wife pussy with a other mans cum in it and got a hardon
i will give this a shot
i love sex all types
i hate bitchy people
ibeat off all the time
ifucked a mom dauter and son team once it was great
my wife and i have had wild sex
i love to fist her pussy
i got fucked in the ass and like i like it
my first swing i was scared
i play with my cock and think about my wife and black men fucking and sucking
i fucked my sister in law in the ass and she loved it
i would go to a all male orgy
iv tasted my own cum
i ate my wife pussy with a other mans cum in it and got a hardon
SuperShyGuy
Shy does not mean weak
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2003
- Posts
- 3,963
Quite a set of confessions, welcome to the thread!
omahaman2
Here's your sign
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2001
- Posts
- 18,171
TNRkitect2b
Sir Brian
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2003
- Posts
- 4,028
Checking in....
Still in the midst of Finals, so I can't stay long... Have a history exam monday and another exam on tuesday...
Gotta get back to my books...
Still in the midst of Finals, so I can't stay long... Have a history exam monday and another exam on tuesday...
Gotta get back to my books...
happyparadox
Dig the Enigma
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2003
- Posts
- 3,738
InLust said:
Andy responded to this false attribution in 2003, saying:
"About a year ago, I became aware of a more serious theft of my name and it is so hurtful to my reputation that it calls for legal action against the thief. Hundreds of people have written asking if I really wrote the 20 detestable remarks made under my name that have had such wide circulation on the Internet.
[...]
Some of the remarks, which I will not repeat here, are viciously racist and the spirit of the whole thing is nasty, mean and totally inconsistent with my philosophy of life. It is apparent that the list of comments has been read by hundreds of thousands of Americans, many of whom must believe that it accurately represents opinions of mine that I don't dare express in my column or on television. It is seriously damaging to my reputation."
Many of these remarks have been floated on the Internet falsely attributed to George Carlin.
naughtygirl
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2000
- Posts
- 6,884
A good night *bump and grind* for my TC friends! I hope y'all are enjoying your weekend!
Happy, nice to see you!
Brian, glad to see you are still alive as well! Good luck with the end of your semester!
Mcccolland, welcome to TC and great confessions! I hope you come back and visit again...
Happy, nice to see you!
Brian, glad to see you are still alive as well! Good luck with the end of your semester!
Mcccolland, welcome to TC and great confessions! I hope you come back and visit again...
happyparadox
Dig the Enigma
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2003
- Posts
- 3,738
InLust said:About time you stopped in! Who else around here is gonna help me keep the facts straight?
How are things going?
Doing fine. Have scant little time for fun time on the puter right now. I've been using the computer to get staged for a big push on eBay auctions and setting up my guitar business in earnest. It has been collecting dust for far too long.
.
Bought a violin yesterday at a garage sale for 10 bucks. It is in pretty bad shape which is exciting to me regards the learning experience. And it appears that it could be a Stradivarius copy from the late 18th century. I won't attempt any repairs until I research it fully.
I hope you are doing well. Are you going to let me see some of your photography? Post some here for TCers to enjoy.
Hi and good wishes to all. Hope to have more free time next week for more posting with y'all.
Soron
The Evil One
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2002
- Posts
- 16,040
InLust
Dreamer in residence
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2003
- Posts
- 3,105
Whether Democrat or Republican, I think you'll get a kick out of this.
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The President.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense."
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The President.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense."
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
InLust
Dreamer in residence
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2003
- Posts
- 3,105
happyparadox said:Doing fine. Have scant little time for fun time on the puter right now. I've been using the computer to get staged for a big push on eBay auctions and setting up my guitar business in earnest. It has been collecting dust for far too long.
.
Bought a violin yesterday at a garage sale for 10 bucks. It is in pretty bad shape which is exciting to me regards the learning experience. And it appears that it could be a Stradivarius copy from the late 18th century. I won't attempt any repairs until I research it fully.
I hope you are doing well. Are you going to let me see some of your photography? Post some here for TCers to enjoy.
Hi and good wishes to all. Hope to have more free time next week for more posting with y'all.
eBay is allot of fun and can be allot of work too. Good luck with the guitar business...you making them or giving lessons?
Wow, if you are right about the violin, that would be totally awesome! Played violin as a kid and was always bowled over with the sound, feel and finish of those antique string instruments.
I might be persuaded to let you see a picture or two. But given I've only been at it 6 months, I'm sure mine looks like road kill compared to yours. You ever get all your slides scanned in?
We are really missing you around these parts and hope you can come play again real soon!
sortacurious
Je suis prête
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2002
- Posts
- 5,250
NG, I'm hoping to PM you soon and get caught up with ya.
Oman, you are awesome! *hugs*
Fiesty,
Soron, I forgot what great bumps you give! wowza!
InLust, I love reading your posts.
Cur_Fem, I hope you've shaken that bad dream, I can relate.
Everyone else, those I know and those I don't yet know, have a great day! I'm off to soak up my beauty rest...I've been informed to be prepared for a late night of lovin'. Purrrrrrrrrrr
Oman, you are awesome! *hugs*
Fiesty,
Soron, I forgot what great bumps you give! wowza!
InLust, I love reading your posts.
Cur_Fem, I hope you've shaken that bad dream, I can relate.
Everyone else, those I know and those I don't yet know, have a great day! I'm off to soak up my beauty rest...I've been informed to be prepared for a late night of lovin'. Purrrrrrrrrrr
InLust
Dreamer in residence
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2003
- Posts
- 3,105
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm, then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely.
A nurse comes by, and to the gays' delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.
"Isn't it wonderful?" Neil says to Bob. "All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy."
The nurse says, "He's happy now. But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his butt."
A nurse comes by, and to the gays' delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.
"Isn't it wonderful?" Neil says to Bob. "All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy."
The nurse says, "He's happy now. But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his butt."
DreamOfSun
An Unfinished Woman
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2002
- Posts
- 3,986
Hello everyone.
I wanted to take a minute to thank you all for your kind words and support and the amazing PMs. You all are so wonderful.
I am still in VA, and head back to FL on Wednesday. I am feeling good, still feeling strong enough and sure of what I am doing. It has been a good trip, with lots of insight to what the near future holds if I am able to come back here for good. It just feels good to be somewhat prepared for what circumstances may arise from all of this.
Red - I am thinking of you and hoping that things are going smoothly and that you are comfortable. I hope we hear some good news from you soon!
I wanted to take a minute to thank you all for your kind words and support and the amazing PMs. You all are so wonderful.
I am still in VA, and head back to FL on Wednesday. I am feeling good, still feeling strong enough and sure of what I am doing. It has been a good trip, with lots of insight to what the near future holds if I am able to come back here for good. It just feels good to be somewhat prepared for what circumstances may arise from all of this.
Red - I am thinking of you and hoping that things are going smoothly and that you are comfortable.
I hope we hear some good news from you soon!- Status
