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*True Confessions*

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Domino89 said:
well, I'm heading to Vegas in a couple of weeks.............suggestions? :devil:
Click to expand...
I suggest you have a very, very! good time ... indulge yourself in what you wish most and then ignore the ads ("what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas") ... as soon as you are back, come here and make a complete and detailed confession! (a visual record would be nice as well ;))
 
Leaves fresh coffee, orange juice, tea, scones, muffins , bagels and fruit for all to enjoy....


Sending out good thoughts and prayers to any or all who may need them
 
An executive was in quandary. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra, who drank and partied too much, or Jack, who was late at times. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work overall.

He thought of flipping a coin to decide which one to break the news to, but finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would be the one to go. Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin.

The executive approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to make a decision - I need to lay you or Jack off."

Debra replied, "Could you jack off, I have a terrible headache."
 
SAD NEWS INDEED

It is with the saddest heart that we must pass on the following news.
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and
complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. The gravesite was piled
high with flours. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their
respects, including Mrs. Buttersworth, Hungry Jack, the California
Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a
man who never knew how much he was kneaded.

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled
with turnovers. He was not considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting his
dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, as a
crusty old man, he was still considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough
and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by
his elderly Dad, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes...-
 
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
 
Yeah, I be back.....you guys know I can't stay away forever ;) Besides, this thread can sometimes go for hours without a post if I'm not here to crack the whip :D
 
I love this thread, just haven't found time to read all 2760 pages of it yet!! I will because --


1. I'm a huge voyeur and this thread feeds that very well.

2. I had my first sexual experience, intercourse, a 5 with the girl next door (she was 10, showed me what to do and I years later found out she was being molested by her father)

3. I was gang raped at age 10 by guys my own age and again at age 15 by a guy I didn't know when I was hitchhiking.

4. I took one girl's virginity at age 21.

5. My ex-wife and I had a 3-some

6. I could be bi- but have no urge to find out, I do like seeing guys dicks and guys giving other guys blow jobs

7. my ex-wife and I got caught mid-stroke by her daughter (my step-daughter) who was 15 at the time

8. I consider chocolate a major food group

9. I honestly don't believe men are meant to be monogamous even though I am

10. I got a continuous blow job over 3 states, Massachusetts to New Hampshire to Maine, it was only about 50 miles total buy hey!

11. One of my few remaining fantasies is to suck on a woman who is lactating

12. I discovered my neice (sister's daughter) at a fetish club

13. I had sex in an outdoor hottub at a Sacramento California hotel with a woman who claimed to have once been a New York City Rockette (couldn't verify that one but she had the legs)

14. I had sex with a woman who has the same last name as me and is a 7th cousin, is that incest?

Well, that's all I can think of for now so how'd I do?
 
Gods what a pair of long nights these last two have been ... and I'm not even on-call this week ...
 
SecretScribe said:
Gods what a pair of long nights these last two have been ... and I'm not even on-call this week ...
Click to expand...

Take it the sleeping problems have returned {{{{{{{{{SS}}}}}}}}}
 
Sort of new here and still learning the ropes but here goes...

1) Seeing any type of sex whatsoever - man/woman, woman/woman, man/man, turtle/turtle, raccoon/turtle, man/turtle - arouses me as long as it is genuine and sincere even if it is something I would never engage in.

2) At 14 I talked a girl who had a crush on me into showing me her breasts in my backyard. I got scared and ran away leaving her there with her shirt pulled up around her neck. I had a paralyzing case of blueballs all evening long.

3) I think most men, probably myself too, would freely engage in bisexual sex if there weren't such a stigma against it which is a funny thing to say since I'm not into guys. I just think society influences what we find attractive.

4) I lifted an issue of "Heavy Metal" from a neighborhood bookstore once when I was 13 or so because there was a comic strip in it featuring a ridiculously breasty woman. Sometimes I consider going back to pay the store owner for it.

5) I was once married to a miserable, loveless person but felt bound to stay married to her. Before long I started to cheat on her for affection. Occasionally I would come home with another woman's scent all over me and I made no attempt to hide it. Eventually I divorced her. I hope she's happier now. I cannot begin to imagine doing something like that now but I strangely don't hold that former behavior against myself.

6) In boy scouts once I watched a group of older guys handcuff a younger kid my age to a tree and sodomize him with a needleless-syringe. I was sure they were coming after me next so I took off. It was my first camping trip in the boy scouts and I figured that's just what boy scouts did but I never saw anything like that again. Sometimes I think I should have tried to stop the older kids but it was like something out of "Lord of the Flies". There was no stopping them.

7) I think my wife is the hottest female on the planet. I'm convinced of it. And not only that. I think if anyone knew how happy she makes me they'd probably consider making a deal with Satan to trade places with me.

8) My sister showed me her pussy once when our parents were out on a Friday night. I'm almost certain she wanted to have sex with me. That is something we never, ever discuss to this day.

9) An elderly man who was the grandfather of some kids on my block asked me to mow his lawn one afternoon and then tried to hit on me. He put his hand on my thigh and started to caress it but I pushed his hand away and asked to be taken home. On the way home he invited me to his lake house for the weekend. He said he often had boys my age staying with him on the weekends. I later found out from one of his neighbors that he tried that with lots of boys and apparently he was often successful.
 
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One more "confession", just remembered this one.....

I once had sex with a woman who claimed she was a lesbian.
 
SecretScribe said:
No ... it was work problems ... which of course now are causing sleep problems :rolleyes:
Click to expand...


{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ SS }}}}}}}}}}}}}}:kiss:

Just saw you and felt like giving you hugs and kisses...
 
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