*True Confessions*

[kikmosa]

Then there was the man with a bald head and a wooden leg who gets invited to a fancy dress party.
He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the problem.
A few days later he receives a parcel with a note.
'Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirates outfit.
The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate.'
The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a really rude letter of complaint.
A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note which says,
'Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find enclosed a monks habit.
The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.'
Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head and he writes the company a REALLY rude letter of complaint.
The next day he receives a small parcel and a note which reads
'Dear Sir, please find enclosed a jar of caramel.
Pour the jar of caramel over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a candied apple!

 

[kikmosa]

I confess....

I might just keep posting these bad jokes until someone tells me to stop, lol.

 

[kikmosa]

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble.
He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket -
If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home.
So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting.
He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie.
He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc, but to no avail.
The cabbie said, 'If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!'
So the businessman was forced to hitchhike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.
One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big.
Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport.
Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.
The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.
The businessman got in the first cab in the line,
'How much for a ride to the airport,' he asked?
'Fifteen bucks,' came the reply.
'And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?'
'What?! Get the hell out of my cab.'
The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.
When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked 'How much for a ride to the airport?'
The cabbie replied, 'fifteen bucks.'
The businessman said 'Okay,' and off they went.
Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver."

 

[seekinfuninfla]

I'd love to have a cute,sweet,sexy girlfriend who I could have a deep and meaningful relationship with... and watch her have the time of her life getting fucked by one or more big-dicked men while I watched ....Any ladies interested in conversating with a genuinely nice chubby 22-year-old male in FL with this fantasy PM me

 

[InLust]

I confess....

I might just keep posting these bad jokes until someone tells me to stop, lol.

Hope you got lots of jokes I was doing this when things got slow here; jokes from my 89 year old Southern Baptist Uncle Ran through my entire stash.

 

[BoomerP]

*I've had a crush for my fencing teacher since I hit puberty

 

[kikmosa]

*I've had a crush for my fencing teacher since I hit puberty

Nothing wrong with crushes. I've had many of them. Still do, lol. Although, hopefully, your well past puberty now, lol.

 

[kikmosa]

Charles Schultz Philosophy

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip. You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just read the e-mail straight through, and you'll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America Contest.

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.


How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.



Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with



Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.


"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
It's already tomorrow in Australia "
(Charles Schultz)

 

[kikmosa]

It was entertainment night at the senior center and "the Amazing Claude" was topping the bill. People would come from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced, "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people to come up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."


He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."


The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.


"SH*T" said the Hypnotist...


It took them three days to clean up the senior center.

 

[InLust]

Kiki - I just noticed the count down ticker in your sig 53 pounds?!!!!!!! That is freaking fantastic!!! Proud of you girl!

 

[bvoltaire]

i confess i want to have sex with a sexy BBW and her man

 

[kikmosa]

Kiki - I just noticed the count down ticker in your sig 53 pounds?!!!!!!! That is freaking fantastic!!! Proud of you girl!

Thanks, I'm trying to get it off for my back. Less weight, less trouble and hurting, lol. It helps.

 

[BoomerP]

Nothing wrong with crushes. I've had many of them. Still do, lol. Although, hopefully, your well past puberty now, lol.

Oh yeah!

I guess that's the sad part right there!

 

[InLust]

Thanks, I'm trying to get it off for my back. Less weight, less trouble and hurting, lol. It helps.

Yes, dropping a few pounds will help with back trouble. Something as small as 10lbs makes a big difference in the amount of pain meds. But with 53lbs, you gotta be feeling fantastic! Aside from the back pain, it has got to be a major ego stroke. When you feel good about yourself, there doesn't seem to be as many aches and pains all the way around.

You rock!

 

[InLust]

Happy easter!!

Happy Spring!

 

[Missdemeanour]

I confess....

I had sex with two of my college friends (both female) on a drunken sleepover when I was 17.

I had sex at a rock festival, sitting on my then bfs knee moving in time to the music.

I gave same bf a blow job on the back seat of a public bus.

I am shy ( I AM shudduppppp lol )

I secretly want my dad and his new wife to split up so he can get back with my mum.

I snogged my gay best friend to see if it would get him excited. (nope didnt work lol)

... thinking of more

 

[Qla890]

Alright, I'm in an honest mood:

* I only feel beautiful/desirable when I'm drunk.
* I can't speak up to my mother-in-law, no matter what horrible things she says about my husband, and I hate myself for that.
* I lie to my family and say I'm still taking my anti-anxiety medication, because I don't want to hear what they have to say.
* I don't think I'll ever make a good mother (when/if that happens)
* I was born with all the talent and potential in the world and chose to piss it away.


Hm... that covers it for now.

 

[omahaman2]

I honestly happy that lusty and kiki are back here!
I honestly miss all the rest of the old TC group!
I happy that I have here the home version of the TC gang'Jenny

 

[kikmosa]

I honestly happy that lusty and kiki are back here!
I honestly miss all the rest of the old TC group!
I happy that I have here the home version of the TC gang'Jenny

(((((((((((Oman-Jenny)))))))))))

 

[Morrigu]

I'm hungry

 

[kikmosa]

A guy and a gal were in the backseat of his car after having sex. The guy says to the gal, "If I would have known you were a virgin I would have taken more time." The gal replies, "Hell, if I'd a known you had more time, I'd a taken off my pantyhose."

 

[kikmosa]

A Chinese man had three daughters, he asked his eldest daughter
what kind of man she would like to marry.

"I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest,"
said the eldest daughter.

He then asked his second daughter who she would like to marry.

"I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest,"
said the second daughter.

He finally asked his youngest daughter who she would like to
marry.

The youngest daughter replies, "I would like to marry a man
with one draggin' on the ground."

 

[kikmosa]

A little girl jumps on Santa's lap:

Girl: "For Christmas, I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."

Santa: "Don't you know Barbie comes with Ken?"

Girl: "Oh no Santa, Barbie fakes it with Ken, she cums with G.I. Joe."

 

[kikmosa]

A young lady went to a dance,and she had a low-cut, strapless gown on. Around her neck she wore a little golden airplane on a long chain. All night she noticed a young man staring at her.

In her embarrassment, she held up the airplane and said, "Oh, you like my airplane, huh?"

The young man smiled mischievously. "No ma'am, I was just admiring the landing field."

 

[tanndr]

My true confession...

I sometimes have the urge to go visit my ex gf and her husband even though I would probably cheat on the man I love.