*True Confessions*

[ShiningEyes]

-slips back in cloaked in a sheer black dressing gown, flaxen mane still damp from her shower and smiles warmly to all as she sits-

Hi again all…you know catching up on the posts I was thinking that how amazing it is that all of share so much in common yet all are uniquely different. We all relate on so many different levels and it is good to know that even though you don’t want other people hurting, that there are others who literally feel your pain everyday. I think that…not the sex (although that is yum yum too)..is what makes us addicted to lit and to me..that isn’t a bad thing at all

I completely agree with you, Amber!! It's a wonderful thing to have!!! It's hard going thru a lot of things that you think you have to deal with alone and believe you are the only one that knows such pain. Then come here and find that you aren't alone and that people understand and have or are feeling the same!
I feel relieved that I'm able to come here and vent what is hurting me or bothering me and find that I'm not crazy or it's all me doing it to cause me the pain. My father often tells me that it's all in my head and I bring it upon myself.

I told my father about the night that I got extremely depressed and thought there was nothing I was going to be able to do to help myself feel better. I was seriously seriously comtemplating on an exit out of the world to stop what was hurting me. My father looked at me and told me that was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard. *sighs* Thinking about it still hurts. I didn't know how to feel after that. I can't talk to him about anything without him telling me it's stupid or its illogical to him.

I'm sooooooo glad that I have and had Lit that night! If it hadn't been for everyone here, I'm sure I wouldn't have waken up the next morning. And look at all that I would have missed out on!
So Thank you everyone!!!!!! For being here for me and being such wonderful friends!

 

[ShiningEyes]

I am overwhelmed, I really had no idea. Thank you so very much

Red

Your very welcome!

 

[ShiningEyes]

A wierd confession

*I really wanna get laid, and I now have the chance to get laid, but for some reason, I don't wanna go see the guys and I don't wanna get laid by the guys that are more than willing.


Strange??

 

[redelicious]

I told my father about the night that I got extremely depressed and thought there was nothing I was going to be able to do to help myself feel better. I was seriously seriously comtemplating on an exit out of the world to stop what was hurting me. My father looked at me and told me that was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard. *sighs* Thinking about it still hurts. I didn't know how to feel after that. I can't talk to him about anything without him telling me it's stupid or its illogical to him.

Men are such idiots that way sometimes (OK Some Men!!!!) My husband often can not relate to anything that is happening to me on an emotional level - if what I'm feeling is not logical to him, well then its just silly in his mind (and unimportant).

I hope you are doing much, much better. Nothing is worth your life.

Red

 

[redelicious]

A wierd confession

*I really wanna get laid, and I now have the chance to get laid, but for some reason, I don't wanna go see the guys and I don't wanna get laid by the guys that are more than willing.


Strange??

Not so strange. Just because you want it doesn't mean you have to jump on the first opportunity. There will be others, I know!!!

Red

 

[SexyAmber]

A wierd confession

*I really wanna get laid, and I now have the chance to get laid, but for some reason, I don't wanna go see the guys and I don't wanna get laid by the guys that are more than willing.


Strange??

*nodles* just like I was saying before the way I feel like that when it comes to me...I get into them...they like me back...challenge over...poof my interest gone...every damn time

 

[ShiningEyes]

Men are such idiots that way sometimes (OK Some Men!!!!) My husband often can not relate to anything that is happening to me on an emotional level - if what I'm feeling is not logical to him, well then its just silly in his mind (and unimportant).

I hope you are doing much, much better. Nothing is worth your life.

Red

I am feeling a lot better!! My friends here helped me out a lot!
I feel a lot that I am a doer and a pleaser. The only problem is, I don't take time out to do for me to make sure I'm ok. I make myself make others smile every day. If I don't, I feel like I'm not doing a good enough job. And well...that night, I ended up hurting 2 really good friends. I found out that a good friend of mine needed me and I wasn't here. Well....she flipped her life upside down and almost lost her son.

Never would have happened if I'd been here. That and a few other things had my self esteem level on the ground. I'm ok when it's at my knees, but I've never had it hit the ground before. That and I'm a big worrier. I was not doing good health wise either. All those things helped in lowering the depression to the pits of hell! lmao that being to where i just couldn't pick myself up. *sigh* I'm trying very hard not to let that happen again!

 

[ShiningEyes]

Not so strange. Just because you want it doesn't mean you have to jump on the first opportunity. There will be others, I know!!!

Red

Well...what makes it strange is, I've actually had sex with them before. the circumstances behind it i guess

 

[ShiningEyes]

*nodles* just like I was saying before the way I feel like that when it comes to me...I get into them...they like me back...challenge over...poof my interest gone...every damn time

hehe I know that feeling very well. *sigh* I feel ruined for other guys.

 

[redelicious]

I am feeling a lot better!! My friends here helped me out a lot!
I feel a lot that I am a doer and a pleaser. The only problem is, I don't take time out to do for me to make sure I'm ok. I make myself make others smile every day. If I don't, I feel like I'm not doing a good enough job. And well...that night, I ended up hurting 2 really good friends. I found out that a good friend of mine needed me and I wasn't here. Well....she flipped her life upside down and almost lost her son.

Never would have happened if I'd been here. That and a few other things had my self esteem level on the ground. I'm ok when it's at my knees, but I've never had it hit the ground before. That and I'm a big worrier. I was not doing good health wise either. All those things helped in lowering the depression to the pits of hell! lmao that being to where i just couldn't pick myself up. *sigh* I'm trying very hard not to let that happen again!

Be strong GF! One thing I have learned from being married is that you can't take the responcibility for someone else's happiness or mistakes. That was a very, very hard lesson for me to learn. I am sorry that it happened to you though (is this the thing where her son wanted to go to church and she couldn't make it - I remember that from another thread).
My thoughts are with you

Red

 

[ShiningEyes]

Please don't get freaked out, am going to be playing with avs for a few min...trying to find one i find sexier than the one i have! hehe

 

[SexyAmber]

hehe I know that feeling very well. *sigh* I feel ruined for other guys.

bah guys are the same way about us..worry not sis

 

[navarre]

Amber..SE..

I really don't think so.
At least not all guys.

 

[redelicious]

Well...what makes it strange is, I've actually had sex with them before. the circumstances behind it i guess

Well, don't worry about it. You have the right to change your mind

Red

 

[ShiningEyes]

Be strong GF! One thing I have learned from being married is that you can't take the responcibility for someone else's happiness or mistakes. That was a very, very hard lesson for me to learn. I am sorry that it happened to you though (is this the thing where her son wanted to go to church and she couldn't make it - I remember that from another thread).
My thoughts are with you

Red

Not exactly....she lost her damn head. And I mean that literally.
When I was around her she never did anything. I'm gone and she gets into shooting drugs into her veins(??). She said she had bruises on both arms. *sigh* Feels bad. I know she wouldn't have done it had I been there. I can't change what's been done, but I can be there for her to help her. She's a good person. Just made totally wrong choices.

She lost her apt. Almost went to jail. *shakes head* She's clean now. And am helping her stay that way.

It's very hard for me to turn my head away from a friend. Very hard. A lesson I have to learn I guess. I care not to get mixed up in such dealings, but I care a lot about her son as well as her!


Am now taking care of myself as well as everyone else. That being one reason why I'm still single. Was getting extremely hard to keep my head above water while pulling the weights of everyone else! But I'm doing just fine now! hehe

Thank you for your thoughts!!! I'm touched greatly!!

 

[ShiningEyes]

bah guys are the same way about us..worry not sis

lol i suppose your right!


And Navarre...I know not all guys are the same. Just. I don't have that many guys in my life that can tell me different right now! Only a particular few that stand out as being different from the rest. And most of those I've met off Lit.

 

[SexyAmber]

Re: Amber..SE..

I really don't think so.
At least not all guys.

ok not you Nav *smiles oh so sweetly hoping for forgiveness*

 

[MikeBaker]

Ok, am back. Damn these pages go by quick. How do I make a signature at the bottom?

 

[redelicious]

It's very hard for me to turn my head away from a friend. Very hard. A lesson I have to learn I guess. I care not to get mixed up in such dealings, but I care a lot about her son as well as her!

I understand you wanting to help her (and especially her son). That would be very hard for me to turn my back on as well. She is very lucky to have you.

But do take care of yourself too

Red

 

[ShiningEyes]

I understand you wanting to help her (and especially her son). That would be very hard for me to turn my back on as well. She is very lucky to have you.

But do take care of yourself too

Red

hehe I am trying! And thank you for the warm caring thoughts! they mean a lot to me! I don't often find people that understand me and what I am going thru or how I feel!

 

[ShiningEyes]

Thinks the other av was sexier. *sighs*

 

[SexyAmber]

YES SE ..I love that av

 

[redelicious]

hehe I am trying! And thank you for the warm caring thoughts! they mean a lot to me! I don't often find people that understand me and what I am going thru or how I feel!

Your Welcome!!

 

[Batch]

Ok, am back. Damn these pages go by quick. How do I make a signature at the bottom?

go your user control panel and then to edit your profile...it will be on that page

 

[ShiningEyes]

YES SE ..I love that av

Ok..the one I have now is just squary!!!! lmao Needs to go AV hunting!

You like the last one? I'll put it back up then!