Translating the ending of novels to the Literotiverse

[TarnishedPenny]

“Poor Grendel’s had a ruined orgasm,” I whisper. “So may you all.”

 

[TheRedChamber]

Then cease, bright Nymph! to mourn the ravish'd Hair
Which adds new Glory to the shining Sphere!
Not all the Tresses that fair Head can boast
Shall draw such Envy as the Lock you lost.
For, after all the Murders of your Eye,
When, after Millions slain, your self shall die;
When those fair Suns shall sett, as sett they must,
And all those Tresses shall be laid in Dust;
This Lock, the Muse shall consecrate to Fame,
And mid'st the Stars inscribe Belinda's Name!

Note to Laurel: I fail to see why this poem has been rejected multiple times when the final stanza makes it perfectly clear that the lock enjoyed it.

 

[SimonDoom]

“Poor Grendel’s had a ruined orgasm,” I whisper. “So may you all.”

I love that book. I read it before I read Beowulf, so many years ago. One of the more interesting characters in literature.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

I found Grendel more human that the Geats.

 

[SimonDoom]

I found Grendel more human that the Geats.

I felt sorry for Unferth.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

I felt sorry for Unferth.

Ignored, mocked and spurned, the true horror for a would-be hero.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Okay, how about some Brontë?

I lingered round them, under that flatulent sky; watched the pigeons fluttering among the sagging power lines; listened to the fetid wind breathing through the alleys; and wondered how any one could ever imagine silent orgasms for the furtive lovers in those cheesy motel rooms.

P.S. Thanks, EMS - what fun!

 

[SimonDoom]

Old father, old artificer, stand me now and ever in good stead. And might I have a go with Mum?

 

[Bramblethorn]

It is not often that someone comes along who is a true friend and a good piece of ass. Charlotte was both.

Nice legs, too.

 

[SimonDoom]

More Dickens:

I saw the shadow of no parting from her, but one. And then I looked more closely, and I thought, damn, she's not wearing underwear.

 

[stickygirl]

With the Gardiners they were always on the most intimate terms. Darcy as well as Elizabeth, really loved them; and they were both sensible of the warmest gratitude towards the persons who, by bringing the manacles and gag-ball into Derbyshire, had been the means of bringing them discipline.

 

[stickygirl]

He turned out the light and went into Jem's room. He would be there all night, and be there when the chloroform wore off and Jem waked up in the morning.

 

[SimonDoom]

He turned out the light and went into Jem's room. He would be there all night, and be there when the chloroform wore off and Jem waked up in the morning.

Damn, that's twisted.

 

[stickygirl]

Damn, that's twisted.

So is the original when read in isolation

 

[stickygirl]

Oxen and wain-ropes would not bring me back to that accursed island; and the worst dreams that ever I have are when I hear the surf booming about the coasts, or start upright in bed, with the bulging penis of Captain Flint still stinging in my ass: 'Pieces of eight! pieces of eight!'