Transition

[Lizzie_Borden]

I'm the luck guy who is off to meet this wonderful lady. She is funny, intelligent, sexy and I feel very lucky to know her. She brightens even the dullest of days and time flies when I talk with her.

It's breaking new ground for both of us and I think were as nervous as one another. We've arranged to meet in a very public place first for a coffee so we can break the ice and hopefully calm our respective nerves before moving on to neutral territory (a busy hotel) for well, I'm sure you'll be able to work that out! We have an opt-out clause and either of us can walk away if it doesn't feel right. I'm very pleased she decided to seek advice on here about the does and don'ts of first meetings: I want her to feel safe and know she will be. We have talked at length about what we want and agreed everything beforehand and I want it to be a fabulous day for her.

All the advice she's been given is equally valid for you too.

I hope it goes well and you both have a blast.

 

[kimuk]

I'm the luck guy who is off to meet this wonderful lady. She is funny, intelligent, sexy and I feel very lucky to know her. She brightens even the dullest of days and time flies when I talk with her.

It's breaking new ground for both of us and I think were as nervous as one another. We've arranged to meet in a very public place first for a coffee so we can break the ice and hopefully calm our respective nerves before moving on to neutral territory (a busy hotel) for well, I'm sure you'll be able to work that out! We have an opt-out clause and either of us can walk away if it doesn't feel right. I'm very pleased she decided to seek advice on here about the does and don'ts of first meetings: I want her to feel safe and know she will be. We have talked at length about what we want and agreed everything beforehand and I want it to be a fabulous day for her.

Hello My Lovely Man xx
I;m glad you popped in. You say the sweetest things about me, I feel safe already. My Churning tummy on the day will be the perlude to our exploration and I know your have your own butterflies too. But I have a good feeling about this. A very very good feeling. So 6 weeks , 5 days and 16 hrs to go .......not as I'm counting lol
subby kisses hunnie xx

 

[kimuk]

It was good to talk the other night and hope to again. Everthing you said made me feel "normal"
Thanks

 

[kimuk]

It should be a wonderful day for both of you. I wish you both luck.

And kim I havent forgotten you, just not had the peace I want to concentrate lol.

above post for you lol

 

[kimuk]

Exactly right, NOT to build up the meeting to an unattainable level.

I should have known better. Listened more, trusted less. Instead sharing everything that we could have, and be and do, together. BIG Mistake. Because, as I have realized, in the most excruciating manner, sometimes things happen and the meeting never takes place. To share everything, and I mean everything with someone to whom you will experience the highest of highs with to have it disappear in the blink of an eye? Leaves one more bereft than anyone can imagine. To realize that this mutual need, matching desires that would be nothing but good, and real, and true, were nothing but an amusement, a lark, is more than heartbreaking; it's soul-breaking. No longer who you once were, not allowed to be who you could be, should be.

I never thought I'd have to live my life as a pyl vicariously, I thought I could have it for myself. I know it could have been soooo darn awesome. Sigh.

Gosh. I'm sorry. Happy for you and yours, wishing you the best of everything.

I think we all have our bad stories as well as our good ones. The trick is not to let it over shadow your future. Because each interaction is unique. Each person has their own ideal of what they want and your response to each other is new.
You have to bury the bad stuff, the disappointment. keep and open mind and be receptive to others.
Because the "right one" may just turn up in your in box when your least expecting it and your relationship will evolve naturally.
Good luck in the future

 

[kimuk]

All the advice she's been given is equally valid for you too.

I hope it goes well and you both have a blast.

Thanks Lizzie!

 

[kimuk]

I think what worries me the most is that he'll be disappionted in me. That I won't meet his expectations. Not sexually. But the way I look.
That he'll think she's fatter than I expected. She looks older. She dosent behave the way I anticipated.
His looks are the least bit I'm interseted in. I love his mind, his sense of humour, his attitude to life. He lets me in a little closer each time we talk. He's friendly and amusing. He makes me laugh out loud. He shares a common sexuality. He's open. He communicates well.
I supose I want him to want me as much as I want him . I fear the look of rejection in his eyes when we meet.
I'm worried.
I'm scared.
I'm drowning in self loathing.
He's seen me ...all of me .....there should be nothing left to the imagination.
but what if I'm just not good enough for him?
What then?

 

[bhndblueyes88]

A little tough love for a moment, but take a deep breath, smack yourself across the head and gather yourself. You're just digging yourself into a hole for NO REASON.

You quite likely won't meet his expectations. That doesn't mean he'll be disappointed in you, or wish to turn you away. Your expectations will fall differently after meeting him as well. That's how this works.

Pick yourself up by your boot straps, hold your head high, and calm down a bit. You'll be less drowny that way

 

[kimuk]

yer am having a downer today lol....not just because of worrying about our meeting but other "stuff" too.

Sometimes the black clouds roll in and you wonder what the hell your doing

I supose i want to vent my worries here so that I dont vent them with him and become winey and a pain in the ass!

lol thanks hun

 

[midwestyankee]

I think what worries me the most is that he'll be disappionted in me. That I won't meet his expectations. Not sexually. But the way I look.
That he'll think she's fatter than I expected. She looks older. She dosent behave the way I anticipated.
His looks are the least bit I'm interseted in. I love his mind, his sense of humour, his attitude to life. He lets me in a little closer each time we talk. He's friendly and amusing. He makes me laugh out loud. He shares a common sexuality. He's open. He communicates well.
I supose I want him to want me as much as I want him . I fear the look of rejection in his eyes when we meet.
I'm worried.
I'm scared.
I'm drowning in self loathing.
He's seen me ...all of me .....there should be nothing left to the imagination.
but what if I'm just not good enough for him?
What then?

This is a very common concern in all beginning relationships but it is usually dissipated within a short time after the relationships starts. Online relationships can be made fragile by the frequently extended length of time between meeting online and meeting in person. It's impossible not to let your imagination get the better of you during all those fervent texting and IM and phone conversations and, the longer you go between meeting online and meeting in person, the more likely your imagined version of your lover will be hardened in your mind. This is one of the biggest risks in transitioning an online relationship into an in-person relationship.

 

[kimuk]

I supose I have to take a deep breath ...get over myself and take the plunge...else i'll never know will I?

 

[seela]

I think what worries me the most is that he'll be disappionted in me. That I won't meet his expectations. Not sexually. But the way I look.
That he'll think she's fatter than I expected. She looks older. She dosent behave the way I anticipated.
His looks are the least bit I'm interseted in. I love his mind, his sense of humour, his attitude to life. He lets me in a little closer each time we talk. He's friendly and amusing. He makes me laugh out loud. He shares a common sexuality. He's open. He communicates well.
I supose I want him to want me as much as I want him . I fear the look of rejection in his eyes when we meet.
I'm worried.
I'm scared.
I'm drowning in self loathing.
He's seen me ...all of me .....there should be nothing left to the imagination.
but what if I'm just not good enough for him?
What then?

This is a big part of why I was so glad we didn't spend weeks and months and years online before meeting in person. I was already worried enough, if I meet his expectations as it were, so I can only imagine the meeting would have been almost intolerable for me, if we would have talked online for a long, long time.

And ditto to everything MWY said. Especially the first sentence.

 

[minx1]

yer am having a downer today lol....not just because of worrying about our meeting but other "stuff" too.

Sometimes the black clouds roll in and you wonder what the hell your doing

I supose i want to vent my worries here so that I dont vent them with him and become winey and a pain in the ass!

lol thanks hun

I think its natural to worry and in this situation I think its sensible to have concerns. Its a huge move and I think it shows you are are aware of many of the potential pitfalls.

I wont go into my own experiences too much as on the whole they weren't good ones and it ended very badly.

One thing i did learn though is that I didnt really know my Dom at all and believe me I thought i did, afterall i had spent almost everyday of a year talking to him before I met him. we would spend hours conversing online and by phone. Actually I realised that even after meeting him and spending time together in person, I still didnt know him.

But that was my experince and even though it wasnt good, I would still tell you to go for it; take the leap and enjoy it for all it is. keep your concerns (in perspective of course)... its healthy and normal, keep yourself safe and enjoy every moment of it!

 

[biffothebear]

I think what worries me the most is that he'll be disappionted in me. That I won't meet his expectations. Not sexually. But the way I look.
That he'll think she's fatter than I expected. She looks older. She dosent behave the way I anticipated.
His looks are the least bit I'm interseted in. I love his mind, his sense of humour, his attitude to life. He lets me in a little closer each time we talk. He's friendly and amusing. He makes me laugh out loud. He shares a common sexuality. He's open. He communicates well.
I supose I want him to want me as much as I want him . I fear the look of rejection in his eyes when we meet.
I'm worried.
I'm scared.
I'm drowning in self loathing.
He's seen me ...all of me .....there should be nothing left to the imagination.
but what if I'm just not good enough for him?
What then?

Kim, I want you pure and simple. Over these past months I've got to know and like you. I cant wait for the moment you walk into the cafe and I get to hold you, kiss you and talk with you face to face and trust me, I just couldn't be disappointed. You are what I want and I'm counting the days.

 

[kimuk]

Kim, I want you pure and simple. Over these past months I've got to know and like you. I cant wait for the moment you walk into the cafe and I get to hold you, kiss you and talk with you face to face and trust me, I just couldn't be disappointed. You are what I want and I'm counting the days.

5 weeks my darling ,,,it will rush by xxx

 

[kimuk]

3 weeks today!!!!! OMG!!!!

 

[kimuk]

12 days......I may self combust I'm so excited!

 

[mickeyb34]

I read you post and this sounds very exciting. Good luck and I hope this event is everything you hope for. I and a lot of others will be awaiting your posts after the event.

 

[kimuk]

Well this time next week it will be over and done with and will have tried things I have only ever dreamed of ........I;ll let you know how it goes x

 

[CurvAppeal]

I knew this guy online for about 8 months, we cammed together, mic talked, talked in IM for hours on end until we both fell asleep at the computer, I served him and always made him happy, there was a strong connection every time we talked, he loved and adored me completely. Then we "crossed the line". When we met, we acted like we knew each other for years. I was only 18 at the time and I traveled to England to meet him. =) The connection was beyond amazing, and our sex, the way he controlled me and the way I gave up my complete control......beyond the ability to even grasp it.

I was very nervous at first, but right when we hugged we acted like we knew exactly what to say, no more nevers after that.

Best of luck to you and your partner, hope everything works out for you!!! =DD

 

[kimuk]

Well if it half as good as that it will be amazing. It feels right if you know what I mean. Am looking forwards to meeting this man who brightens my life and putting what we have talked about into practice. He has a wonderful sense of humour and I feel safe with him. It will be adventure if nothing else. But I think it will be more than that too.

 

[CurvAppeal]

Update me on when ya'll meet, I would love to hear how it goes!! =) I'm sure everything will be just fine.

 

[kimuk]

i wil hunnie ....6 dyas and counting!

 

[kimuk]

36 hours!........mmmmmm

 

[catalina_francisco]

Good luck with your meeting. No-one can really prepare you for it or tell you what it will be like as we don't know you, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. I met a few people I had communicated with online and found I usually got what I expected which in itself was sometimes disappointing as I hoped my instincts were off.

With F, we met after about 5 months online, married 2 weeks later, and are still happy we did 9 years later. We have been through a lot of heavy emotional and physical issues together, simply because life throws these things in our path whether we are with someone or alone. That being said, we still feel blessed we found each other and feel what we have endured together has only made us stronger. As for the actual meeting..we were both nervous, but from that first embrace we knew we were meant for each other. It just got better and better from there.

Catalina