Training Techniques for Mental Conditioning

[darlynd]

This is actually where my head is on the topic as well. It goes straight to that place where "I am slave, I am nothing" and I don't like it. I was miserable and felt I had no right to be because I had no right to feel anything other than utter joy that this person would even spit upon me. For some, that works, not me.

I totally understand your perception, which is why I didn't want to expand on that part of the subject in this thread.

Just as with any other part of D/s, there will always be bits and pieces of a kink that doesn't fly with the general consensus. i.e. "toilet training" - really? I learned how to use the toilet when I was 2 LOL

IMO, anything that provides the opportunity for a PYL to increase a pyl's mental stimulus to being more sexually responsive is more of "mental conditioning exercise", and there are plenty of those situations where the pyl is the benefactor - as once learned, it is hard to unlearn.

 

[thischainedpet]

Personally the psychological aspect is what drives me. Combined with the physical stimulation.
I love the mental tennis game. Its awesome. I love it and its enhanced my life tremendously. My Dom is the best. He gives me the leeway to enjoy this aspect. I live to serve only him. He is my drug, my intoxication, and my obsession. I just like driving him crazy too.

That is exactly how I feel...

 

[darlynd]

Personally the psychological aspect is what drives me. Combined with the physical stimulation.

Training a body to respond to a word or certain stimulus has always been fascinating to me - especially if it is my body being trained

 

[raiderx27]

i have an on line sub who simply adores me i paint mental images for her body to respond to she will only cum on command i have had great phone sex with her where i have verbally tortured her til i allow her blissful release but she has her limits and i respect them

 

[darlynd]

i have an on line sub who simply adores me i paint mental images for her body to respond to she will only cum on command i have had great phone sex with her where i have verbally tortured her til i allow her blissful release but she has her limits and i respect them

Even with mind control/ brain games, respect of limits should be observed.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Even with mind control/ brain games, respect of limits should be observed.

Especially with mind control games.

 

[dreamykitten2]

mental tennis

This game of mental tennis is so absorbing so stimulating. I can't imagine not having any of the psychological asspect involved. Pure lust is fun but really does nothing to stimulate youlr mind.
Kitten.

 

[the captians wench]

Mental stimulation I'm a huge fan of. It's this mental conditioning I don't care for.

 

[the captians wench]

IMO, anything that provides the opportunity for a PYL to increase a pyl's mental stimulus to being more sexually responsive is more of "mental conditioning exercise", and there are plenty of those situations where the pyl is the benefactor - as once learned, it is hard to unlearn.

Being a benefactor of something that I had no control over receiving is not something I call a good thing.

I do benefit from the conditioning my ex husband did. He increased my libido, made me extremely orgasmic, and gave me the ability to orgasm with a single spoken word with no other stimulus. Though I have come to enjoy these things, he did not do them for my benefit, he did them because he was insecure and wanted me to respond to him more intensely. He did it to help his ego, not for my enjoyment.

 

[CutieMouse]

I totally understand your perception, which is why I didn't want to expand on that part of the subject in this thread.

Just as with any other part of D/s, there will always be bits and pieces of a kink that doesn't fly with the general consensus. i.e. "toilet training" - really? I learned how to use the toilet when I was 2 LOL

IMO, anything that provides the opportunity for a PYL to increase a pyl's mental stimulus to being more sexually responsive is more of "mental conditioning exercise", and there are plenty of those situations where the pyl is the benefactor - as once learned, it is hard to unlearn.

The "once learned, it is hard to unlearn" is the problem I have with "mental conditioning". Relationships end. Period. IMO it is thus unwise to allow a lover to impact ones sexuality in a manner that could cause them harm, upon the endi g of the relationship. Yes, at the time it was "hot" to be "trained" to be dead silent when climaxing (because he wished it), but it took *years* to undo.

 

[darlynd]

The "once learned, it is hard to unlearn" is the problem I have with "mental conditioning". Relationships end. Period. IMO it is thus unwise to allow a lover to impact ones sexuality in a manner that could cause them harm, upon the endi g of the relationship. Yes, at the time it was "hot" to be "trained" to be dead silent when climaxing (because he wished it), but it took *years* to undo.

Understood, Cutie. There are the positives and negatives to every relationship. We have a responsibility to ourselves to be responsible for that to which we agree. Hindsight is 20/20 but while one may accept being dominated, one must realize we are not ignorant to the risks in the future.

 

[Stella_Omega]

one must realize we are not ignorant to the risks in the future.

That should be the other way around, IMO-- We must realise that we are in fact, ignorant of possible future repercussions.

This is always true, of course. But we need to understand that these are brainwashing techniques, and as such have a greater potential for unwelcome outcome than we might expect.

Just-- be aware. Teach other subs to be aware.

 

[darlynd]

That should be the other way around, IMO-- We must realise that we are in fact, ignorant of possible future repercussions.

If one realizes one has made a mistake, it is presumed that one would no longer be ignorant of the mistake. Our ignorance is in thinking "next time will be different."

The bottom line is that we SHOULD teach other subs/pyl that every time we agree to allow ourselves to be dominated, we must be very aware and responsible to what we agree.

I may be given a questionable car to drive and told to drive it, but if I have found the car to be undependable, I have the choice of saying, "I would rather walk or take the bus rather be stranded with a broken down car."

We always have a choice to walk away and if we don't own up to THAT responsibility (to walk when it is responsible to do so) then we fail ourselves.

This should be a whole other thread. The idea was to focus on the things we have experienced that were not hurtful or degrading to the point of unpleasantness, but those things we found enjoyable or made us a better lover, woman, person, sub/pyl in OUR eyes.

 

[switchbitch]

Many of the posts have been discussing the safety issues involved in mental training. These issues are very important and rightly so. However do not forget that not all dominants are arse holes, in fact many more are people with a fine sense of honour and integrity who would never dream of using dominance to the detriment of their submissive. And the joy of being trained by such a dominant can be a truly wonderful thing. Perhaps I am overly optimistic in hoping that most of those who post here behave responsibly and those that don't learn the error of their ways quickly so they hurt neither themselves nor anyone else.
If all we ever see is the safety issues where is the Joy?
Perhaps I am just lucky in that my master is without question, honourable,and perhaps my submissives are just lucky that I also am an honourable person. Perhaps I'm a dreamer but I choose to believe there are more of us that feel this way and behave this way than there are irresponsible arse holes that don't.

 

[CutieMouse]

This should be a whole other thread. The idea was to focus on the things we have experienced that were not hurtful or degrading to the point of unpleasantness, but those things we found enjoyable or made us a better lover, woman, person, sub/pyl in OUR eyes.

Maybe you're thinking about apples and I'm thinking about oranges, but I'm trying to figure out why the hell it's okay to fuck with basic Pavlovian responses (training someone to "cum on command"/etc under the guise of "mental conditioning"), but things that were/are "hurtful or degrading to the point of unpleasantness" is frowned upon.

I'll be dammed if I'm giving up uncomfortable [painful] sex, humiliation or mindfucks, but heaven help the man who tries to control my sexuality. Some might not consider that to be a very submissive attitude, but it is a safe one. (Although it's also somewhat moot, given how picky I am re: lovers. LOL)

 

[switchbitch]

Maybe you're thinking about apples and I'm thinking about oranges, but I'm trying to figure out why the hell it's okay to fuck with basic Pavlovian responses (training someone to "cum on command"/etc under the guise of "mental conditioning"), but things that were/are "hurtful or degrading to the point of unpleasantness" is frowned upon.

I'll be dammed if I'm giving up uncomfortable [painful] sex, humiliation or mindfucks, but heaven help the man who tries to control my sexuality. Some might not consider that to be a very submissive attitude, but it is a safe one. (Although it's also somewhat moot, given how picky I am re: lovers. LOL)

hear hear! ME neither.

 

[Stella_Omega]

If all we ever see is the safety issues where is the Joy?

Well, that's fine, but if all we ever look at is the Joy-- a girl could get herself in some genuine trouble, and not sexy sort either. There is rarely any acknowledgement that there might be problems.

 

[switchbitch]

Well, that's fine, but if all we ever look at is the Joy-- a girl could get herself in some genuine trouble, and not sexy sort either. There is rarely any acknowledgement that there might be problems.

Many of the posts have been discussing the safety issues involved in mental training. These issues are very important and rightly so. However do not forget that not all dominants are arse holes, in fact many more are people with a fine sense of honour and integrity who would never dream of using dominance to the detriment of their submissive. And the joy of being trained by such a dominant can be a truly wonderful thing. Perhaps I am overly optimistic in hoping that most of those who post here behave responsibly and those that don't learn the error of their ways quickly so they hurt neither themselves nor anyone else.
If all we ever see is the safety issues where is the Joy?
Perhaps I am just lucky in that my master is without question, honourable,and perhaps my submissives are just lucky that I also am an honourable person. Perhaps I'm a dreamer but I choose to believe there are more of us that feel this way and behave this way than there are irresponsible arse holes that don't.

 

[raiderx27]

i can safely say that i do treat my online sub with honor and dignaty she lives clear across the country and has no plans of visiting me nor i have plans of visiting her to act out our play. so the distance thing is our safty net i know that i can get her to respond to my words with out seeing her. i can tell when shes in a bad mood just from how she writes in our chats or she will come out and tell me shes not feeling good at that point i go into friend mode so as to not cross any lines with her. i know i cant stop her from seeing others but she cant cum from them fucking her like she can from my verbal stimulation.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I would only ever engage in this if I were really into control and sexuality.

 

[KoPilot]

Many of the posts have been discussing the safety issues involved in mental training. These issues are very important and rightly so. However do not forget that not all dominants are arse holes, in fact many more are people with a fine sense of honour and integrity who would never dream of using dominance to the detriment of their submissive. And the joy of being trained by such a dominant can be a truly wonderful thing. Perhaps I am overly optimistic in hoping that most of those who post here behave responsibly and those that don't learn the error of their ways quickly so they hurt neither themselves nor anyone else.
If all we ever see is the safety issues where is the Joy?
Perhaps I am just lucky in that my master is without question, honourable,and perhaps my submissives are just lucky that I also am an honourable person. Perhaps I'm a dreamer but I choose to believe there are more of us that feel this way and behave this way than there are irresponsible arse holes that don't.

You forget that good intentions =/= good outcomes. Folks who consider themselves honorable are capable of doing untold, and unknown, damage.

 

[midwestyankee]

Many of the posts have been discussing the safety issues involved in mental training. These issues are very important and rightly so. However do not forget that not all dominants are arse holes, in fact many more are people with a fine sense of honour and integrity who would never dream of using dominance to the detriment of their submissive. And the joy of being trained by such a dominant can be a truly wonderful thing. Perhaps I am overly optimistic in hoping that most of those who post here behave responsibly and those that don't learn the error of their ways quickly so they hurt neither themselves nor anyone else.
If all we ever see is the safety issues where is the Joy?
Perhaps I am just lucky in that my master is without question, honourable,and perhaps my submissives are just lucky that I also am an honourable person. Perhaps I'm a dreamer but I choose to believe there are more of us that feel this way and behave this way than there are irresponsible arse holes that don't.

Even honorable people are subject to the laws of unintended consequences.

Assume I am an honest and honorable man with a submissive partner. I get it into my head to train her to climax only when I give her permission. In this way, she becomes trained to orgasm strictly for my pleasure and even if I lend her out to another kind and honorable dominant, she simply can not come to orgasm with this other man due to the way that I trained her. Now, one of us will die before the other. This is virtually a law of nature. So what happens to her happiness after I am gone? I can't give her permission from the grave. How long might it take to regain the skill of coming to orgasm on her own?

Now, let's say that I am in this same relationship and I train her to come to orgasm only when she hears the words "Encyclopedia Britannica." We both enjoy the act of sharing her sexuality with other dominants and when I am feeling generous, I give them the key word and she comes to orgasm on their command. Something bad happens over time in our relationship - as such things occur in most relationships - and we split up. If married, we divorce. Now what does she do to get her sexual fulfillment?

We can not know the future and we will not ever know the future consequences of our actions. Good intentions are never, ever, sufficient.

 

[switchbitch]

Even honorable people are subject to the laws of unintended consequences.

Assume I am an honest and honorable man with a submissive partner. I get it into my head to train her to climax only when I give her permission. In this way, she becomes trained to orgasm strictly for my pleasure and even if I lend her out to another kind and honorable dominant, she simply can not come to orgasm with this other man due to the way that I trained her. Now, one of us will die before the other. This is virtually a law of nature. So what happens to her happiness after I am gone? I can't give her permission from the grave. How long might it take to regain the skill of coming to orgasm on her own?

Now, let's say that I am in this same relationship and I train her to come to orgasm only when she hears the words "Encyclopedia Britannica." We both enjoy the act of sharing her sexuality with other dominants and when I am feeling generous, I give them the key word and she comes to orgasm on their command. Something bad happens over time in our relationship - as such things occur in most relationships - and we split up. If married, we divorce. Now what does she do to get her sexual fulfillment?

We can not know the future and we will not ever know the future consequences of our actions. Good intentions are never, ever, sufficient.

Ah but when I think of a dominant being honourable I consider it part and parcel that sensible precautionsbe taken. I would not consider the senarios you have painted to be in any way the behaviour of an honourable person. Of course mistakes can be made by anyone but an honourable person corrects them quickly. The idea of controlling someone's sexuality to the exclusion of all other means to me seems somewhat ludicrous and demeaning to the nature of submission. I mean when I give my submission I choose to give my sexual response and part of my joy is living up to his expectations or even merely the effort to do so. But that is still not very clear perhaps if I give an example. Let us say for instance my master wants me to experience orgasm every time I throat his cock, he would never induce the idea that that would be the only way I could experience orgasm merely that it is something special with him.then perhaps others don't feel this way and I understand that good intentions are never enoughwithout sensible precaution. And even a wonderful master like he who claims me, can make mistakes but if something does occur like that he addresses the problem immediately.honour demands that reasonable risks being taken not stupid or thoughtless ones.From reading the last few posts it occurs to me that our definitions of honour are very different.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You're lucky, switchbitch, in that your Master and you agree on what is right and reasonable and honorable.

Personally? I would never trust my levels of understanding with any partner to that point. Not as a sub, not as a dom.

Nor the veracity of my crystal ball.

 

[KoPilot]

Ah but when I think of a dominant being honourable I consider it part and parcel that sensible precautionsbe taken. I would not consider the senarios you have painted to be in any way the behaviour of an honourable person. Of course mistakes can be made by anyone but an honourable person corrects them quickly. The idea of controlling someone's sexuality to the exclusion of all other means to me seems somewhat ludicrous and demeaning to the nature of submission. I mean when I give my submission I choose to give my sexual response and part of my joy is living up to his expectations or even merely the effort to do so. But that is still not very clear perhaps if I give an example. Let us say for instance my master wants me to experience orgasm every time I throat his cock, he would never induce the idea that that would be the only way I could experience orgasm merely that it is something special with him.then perhaps others don't feel this way and I understand that good intentions are never enoughwithout sensible precaution. And even a wonderful master like he who claims me, can make mistakes but if something does occur like that he addresses the problem immediately.honour demands that reasonable risks being taken not stupid or thoughtless ones.From reading the last few posts it occurs to me that our definitions of honour are very different.

This reads eerily like you believe that people can be coded and rewritten like a java file.

Anyone know where I can find an orgasm-on-command plugin? I think S would be very much interested in installing one on me.

In all seriousness, the fact that we all seem to have differing ideas on what "honorable", "stupid" and "thoughtless" are is exactly the reason why this stuff should be taken very seriously.