Trade Secrets Please:

[nitelite33]

Lit Ladies:

I was wondering if I could pick any and all of your collective brains for a moment, and get advice on how to answer these ageless 'landmine' questions:

"Do I look fat?"
"Which shoes look better?"
"Where do you see this relationship going?"
"Notice anything different about me?"
"Have you taken a look at yourself lately?"
"What are you looking at?"
"Should I get my hair cut?"

Now I know what you're thinking... "But Nitelite, these are trade secrets that have been passed down sinse the days of yore!"

Well get over it and give with the dish...

I'll beg even... No really...

 

[Starblayde]

the best responses a man can come up with:

"Do I look fat?": You look lovely

"Which shoes look better?": Whichever ones you feel best wearing

"Where do you see this relationship going?": either a) propose or b) run

"Notice anything different about me?" : You know I've noticed already.

"Have you taken a look at yourself lately?": Why yes, we have a mirror in the bathroom

"What are you looking at?": I'm....i'm just... well... staring at you, to be honest.

"Should I get my hair cut?" : I thinks its lovely as it is.

 

[nitelite33]

FEH...

None of the women I've been with would settle for such obvious safe answers and fence-sitting...

Those answers would only convince them I was hiding something and they would push even harder...



EDIT: Maybe the answer is I date bitches...

 

[phrodeau]

"Do I look fat?" Compared to what?
"Which shoes look better?" Try one of each.
"Where do you see this relationship going?" Into a holding pattern.
"Notice anything different about me?" Did you get surgery?
"Have you taken a look at yourself lately?" I wiped my ass, but I didn't peek.
"What are you looking at?" Myself?
"Should I get my hair cut?" Just wear a hat.

 

[RudeNastyAssBitch]

Answer Them All Honestly!

If She Smiles, And Does Not Give You A Hard Time, Then You'll Have Found The Chick For You

 

[perks]

Lit Ladies:

I was wondering if I could pick any and all of your collective brains for a moment, and get advice on how to answer these ageless 'landmine' questions:

"Do I look fat?"
"Which shoes look better?"
"Where do you see this relationship going?"
"Notice anything different about me?"
"Have you taken a look at yourself lately?"
"What are you looking at?"
"Should I get my hair cut?"

Now I know what you're thinking... "But Nitelite, these are trade secrets that have been passed down sinse the days of yore!"

Well get over it and give with the dish...

I'll beg even... No really...

You look beautiful, but I think those other pants showcase your beauty better.

You know those shoes you wore the night we couldn't stop having sex, those really did it for me, and would look great with those pants that showcase your beauty.

Anything different? You have these golden sparkles in your eyes that I never noticed before, and you smell fantastic. Those pants really showcase your beauty and I love your shoes.

<should I continue?>

 

[breakwall]

the answer to all those questions is the same:

"Is that the phone ringing? I'll get it."

 

[cheesysusie]

LMAO @ perky. Girl, you really make me laugh sometimes.

 

[perks]

LMAO @ perky. Girl, you really make me laugh sometimes.

I'm smoooooooove, like that.

 

[Eumenides]

Re: Re: Trade Secrets Please:

You look beautiful, but I think those other pants showcase your beauty better.

You know those shoes you wore the night we couldn't stop having sex, those really did it for me, and would look great with those pants that showcase your beauty.

Anything different? You have these golden sparkles in your eyes that I never noticed before, and you smell fantastic. Those pants really showcase your beauty and I love your shoes.

<should I continue?>

*taking notes*

Hmmm...july.

 

[Minkey Boodle]

1. "If you have to ask....."
2. "The ones that match. duuuh..."
3. "To the drive-in...?"
4. "Did you get a nose job?"
5. "No. Why?"
6. "You can't tell me that chick's chest didn't catch your eye at all.."
7. "Yeah, and get me one too, while you're at it."

Oh, and anyone who asks these questions for serious is loopy.

 

[phrodeau]

Re: Re: Trade Secrets Please:

"Do I look fat?" I think those pants show a case of booty.

Um, I think I got that wrong.

 

[Lost Cause]

Breaking the code........

"Do I look fat?"
Of course not! Why do you think that? (deny everything!)

"Which shoes look better?"
Which is the most comfortable for you? (deny everything)

"Where do you see this relationship going?"
I can see us growing old together, how's that? (deny everything)

"Notice anything different about me?"
Heeeeey, I like it! (look in general direction, watch where for her eyes to glance at herself for clues) (deny everything)

"Have you taken a look at yourself lately?"
Yeah, I know. What do you suggest? (deny everything)

"What are you looking at?"
Nothing really, I was thinking about buying a new car. (deny everything)

"Should I get my hair cut?"
Whatever you decide, you know I love anyway you style it. You're one of those natural beauties! (deny everything)

 

[nitelite33]

Re: Breaking the code........

I GET IT SUDDENLY!!! These questions are the dating version of The Kobayashi Maru...

 

[nitelite33]

P.S. Yes, I realise the inherent geekiness of that reference, but it is the most suitable metaphor.

P.P.S. Also, if YOU recognize the inherant geekiness of that reference, then HELLO MR. POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK. ;D

 

[KillerMuffin]

Stock answer:

"Please don't ask me these questions, darling, I feel like I'm walking into a minefield and I don't want to mess up this wonderful thing I have with you."

Doesn't work all the time, though.

 

[Lost Cause]

The ultimate "no win" question....

"What are you thinking?"
(never mind the drag races are on, you have a drink, chips, and feet up on the coffee table staring at the set)

 

[Myrrdin]

"Do I look fat?"
Well your ass is blocking the view of my widescreen TV
"Which shoes look better?"
The old ones. I need help to deliver a calf.
"Where do you see this relationship going?"
If it aint broke, don't fix it
"Notice anything different about me?"
Have you been raiding my wallet again?
"Have you taken a look at yourself lately?"
I can't find the bathroom mirror for mousse, make up and drying underwear
"What are you looking at?"
The TV till your ass got in the way.
"Should I get my hair cut?"
You want to raid my wallet again?

 

[sexy-girl]

when you get asked those questions just assume you are being tested (you are)

and the beauty of the questions is that the answers are different for each woman ... so we can't help you ... and you better answer correctly

 

[Kuntmode]

n/a

Love the way sexy-girl seems to come across as being one of the girls, when this post is irrelevant to her.

Then again, what if your girlfriend asks you the same questions?

Of course being a woman you are going to get away with whatever you say.

All women are fussy and no matter what a guy says, they are still going to fucking sit there feeling depressed and sorry for themselves.

Sometimes it is best to say the truth.


"Do I look fat?"
You don't look fat but I can see you have put on some weight recently. Time to cut back on the fatty foods honey.
"Which shoes look better?"
Who looks at your feet babe? It's your tits that get looked at
"Where do you see this relationship going?"
Well I would hope it is on the up, but if you feel you want out, let me know ok? No use dragging things out
"Notice anything different about me?"
Notice anything different about me? Sometimes it pays to answer a question with another question.
"Have you taken a look at yourself lately?"
Have you?
"What are you looking at?"
Honestly? I really don't know anymore. Not the woman I knew years ago. She never asked so many fucking questions.
"Should I get my hair cut?"
I like the way it is now, and seeing I am going to fucking pay for it, NO!, but if it makes you feel better and you get off my case, then do whatever you fucking like. You always do anyway.

At the end of the day, she will still part the legs and take your truncheon. As long as you keep the cash flow at the ready, the bitch will always stay loyal and hang around.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Lit Ladies:

I was wondering if I could pick any and all of your collective brains for a moment, and get advice on how to answer these ageless 'landmine' questions:

"Do I look fat?"
"Which shoes look better?"
"Where do you see this relationship going?"
"Notice anything different about me?"
"Have you taken a look at yourself lately?"
"What are you looking at?"
"Should I get my hair cut?"

Now I know what you're thinking... "But Nitelite, these are trade secrets that have been passed down sinse the days of yore!"

Well get over it and give with the dish...

I'll beg even... No really...

I get extremely annoyed by these repetitive questions and I have a two-part policy:

1. Answer completely honestly, the first time (per day) that I am asked.

2.Ignore all repetitions of the question.

 

[Wiggles]

.

 

[nitelite33]

Unless you have a staring problem. Then you should just be embarrassed for yourself.

<---------- Staring problem.


(am I alone here in this?)

EDIT: If I'm looking and not touching there should be no problem...

 

[Shingen]

ahehe...

No matter how you answer the questions, even if it is your honest answer or one you think they want to hear, it's going to be the wrong answer!

lol

 

[watergirl]

"Do I look fat?"
"You know I wouldn't be with you if I weren't attracted to you. I think you look great." Say it like you mean it.

"Which shoes look better?"
Be honest.

"Where do you see this relationship going?"
like has already been said - be honest. Unless she's a bitch, she's asking because she really wants to know. I asked that, in a less blunt way, of the guy I'm dating. He hedged, but I did understand what he was saying, and now I don't feel like he's playing games with me.


"Notice anything different about me?"
Evil question, but, yeah, take a look, tell her the truth. Or say, "have you lost some weight?" Even if it's a lie, ya get points for that.

"Have you taken a look at yourself lately?"
What a bitchy question. Tell her to fuck off.

"What are you looking at?"
"Just looking at you... is that still allowed?"

"Should I get my hair cut?"
If you have an opinion, tell her - "No, I like it long," "Yeah, I think short hair would be cute on you," or, if you don't care - ask her what she's thinking about doing with it, go over to her, run your hands through it, and smile at her. Just let her know you're attracted to her, that'll do you well.