Toys: Improve or Impede?

[NemoAlia]

Speaking of stereotypes, one of the popular myths about BDSMers is that we depend on our toys to get off. What say we?

I think it would be interesting to compare the BDSM crowd's opinions about using toys during sex and scenes to the attitude that our friendly GBers take.

 

[Cirrus]

I dunno...I could go either way on this one.

I love toys. I love BDSM. And there are some toys and acts that I probably would never have tried if it weren't for BDSM. For example, I would never have used a buttplug if it weren't for BDSM, and that led me to trying anal.

But sometimes toys seem to be more of a bother than they're worth. You have to figure out where to put them so you can get at them easily without too much interruption, and where to put them when you're done with them.

When I scene, though, I have to have some toy involved, even if it's just a simple length of rope or a blindfold.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Speaking of stereotypes, one of the popular myths about BDSMers is that we depend on our toys to get off. What say we?

I think it would be interesting to compare the BDSM crowd's opinions about using toys during sex and scenes to the attitude that our friendly GBers take.

Another stereotype.

For one thing, getting off is the last thing that happens to subs in my world.

Eb

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Toys: Improve or Impede?

Another stereotype.

For one thing, getting off is the last thing that happens to subs in my world (if they get off at all).

Eb

 

[Goddess Helena]

I do so admire Miss Ebony.


I agree that toys are not a must.

Having a pet to tease/torment/serve Me is the must.


Helena

 

[NemoAlia]

Point taken, Ebony. So, if we leave orgasms out of the equation, perhaps the question actually means:

To what extent do we depend on toys to facilitate our interaction with our partners?

 

[Ebonyfire]

Point taken, Ebony. So, if we leave orgasms out of the equation, perhaps the question actually means:

To what extent do we depend on toys to facilitate our interaction with our partners?

To me, toys are just another tool. Maybe it is a function of my type of dominance, but toys are not always paramount in how I interact with my subs. It is the psychological and physical control that is primary. Obedience does not always need toys.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I do so admire Miss Ebony.


I agree that toys are not a must.

Having a pet to tease/torment/serve Me is the must.


Helena

It is a mutual admiration society Helena. I have learned so much from You.

 

[FungiUg]

Toys? Yum!

Hmmm.

I know in my case, that I don't like to feel that I depend on toys. Any more than I would depend on lingerie. Or depend on furniture. But it all adds to the experience! Given the choice between a woman dressed in something skimpy, tied to a four-poster bed, a handy collection of "devices" versus, oh, say a naked woman on the ground... damn, that's a hard choice!

But seriously, I do love toys, but I can (and have done) make do without them. But generally I prefer to include them. It increases my options, and can increase the level of experience for my partners.

I'm sure there are people who depend on toys. They needn't be into BDSM either. But BDSM people seem to be more open minded about including toys, costumes, furniture and props. So perhaps it's more about adding to the fun, rather than depending on them.

Take care, have fun!

FungiUg

 

[pierced_boy]

Toys 50/50

Sometimes we want them sometimes you don't. Depends on our headspace and the outcomes sought.

2 bobs worth only of course

H

 

[WriterDom]

Speaking of stereotypes, one of the popular myths about BDSMers is that we depend on our toys to get off.

Who cares about stereotypes. Toys enhance?, propel to a different level perhaps?, but needed to get off? Speaks of jealousy to me.

 

[bunny bondage]

toys are fun, and when He's feeling playful, i'm always instructed to "bring along my goodie bag", but they're by no means a neccessity. personally, i prefer the feeling of His large firm hand smacking my flesh instead of a toy. and let's not forget His teeth....mmmm.....but i digress. of course we don't need toys! we're all creative and intelligent people quite capable of having a great time using only what we were born with. but hey, it never hurts to add a little spice into the soup!

 

[James G 5]

Posted on another thread about this
Toys are fun, but the true dominant needs naught but a good (and bad LOL) mind
Helps to have the hands & voice to back it up
And toys to act things out with are nice
But it's all in the mind, really

 

[Shadowsdream]

Posted on another thread about this
Toys are fun, but the true dominant needs naught but a good (and bad LOL) mind
Helps to have the hands & voice to back it up
And toys to act things out with are nice
But it's all in the mind, really

Toys are merely a back up to the touch of the hand..the scent of the body...the look in the eye...the passion in the voice...or lack there of!

 

[Pixie Mischief]

Toys are great... Each visit bf gets us a new one.. We only have had one visit so we only have a toy.. I'm not too fond of that toy actually. But I have a feeling he and I are going to end up with a big toy box. Toys are fun but arent needed all the time. They can make things interesting thought. If he and I want to make love. then toys arent part of it. Its between he and I thats it. nothing kinky. but if we wanna fuck. toys are very welcomed.

 

[lektra]

Toys are fun, especially to shop for, but definetly not necessary. They are like icing on the cake for me.

 

[~ Emmeline ~]

I don't think toys are a necessity, but they can be fun depending on the situation. Not only toys that are insertable or vibrate, but toys such as floggers... which may involve His needs as well as my own. I may be wrong, but I think I would see His use of toys as fufilling his mental and emotional needs as part of His being a Dominant. Seeing a submissive being worked into a sexual frenzy with toys must bring tremendous feelings of power to a Dom/me.

I am an admitted hand and finger fanatic, and as such I would be more than happy to be tormented solely by His using His hands and fingers... touching, invading, teasing me until I screamed and begged Him to fuck me. But, toys are fun because they add variety to His bag of tricks. I'd most certainly never complain about His using one, or several on me at any given point in time.

 

[catalina_francisco]

We use toys sometimes (whips, crops, etc.), but more often than not rely on his hands, teeth, body parts, and great sadistic imagination.

Catalina

 

[ownedsubgal]

speaking from the perspective of a D/s'er who has only ever "dabbled" in BDSM, toys/tools have never been of huge interest or excitement to me. my Master also is not big on the use of either sexual toys, or tools for discipline and punishment. He has his own little collection and things are used at times, but it's one of those things he has to be in the mood for...far more often he uses only the power and strength of his mind and body.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Re: Re: Toys: Improve or Impede?

Another stereotype.

For one thing, getting off is the last thing that happens to subs in my world.

Eb

yowsa

wot a dogs life

 

[rosco rathbone]

speaking from the perspective of a D/s'er who has only ever "dabbled" in BDSM, toys/tools have never been of huge interest or excitement to me. my Master also is not big on the use of either sexual toys, or tools for discipline and punishment. He has his own little collection and things are used at times, but it's one of those things he has to be in the mood for...far more often he uses only the power and strength of his mind and body.

as always i am with your master on this

dominant mastery is best asserted with the tools of

1. brain
2.heart
3.hands

everything else is cake icing

 

[MastrJ]

My sub and I do use the toys we have quite a bit, but not always. There are definitely some things we wouldn't be able to do if we didn't have to toys, but there's quite a bit we could continue to do without them. We don't need them, but we do like them.

 

[Lord Crimson]

The toy I prefer the most - her mind

 

[Justina123]

We don't use our toys much at home. However, when we go to a play party, Sir enjoys planning a scene ahead of time, usually based around the use of a couple of specific toys.

We have a friend who has an incredible attic dungeon and....oooh, my favorite, a violet wand to die for....

justina

 

[Netzach]

I could manage ok without them, sure. And I've had some of the best deranged sex/ SM scenes without a single one.

But I'd get really mean and nasty without my Wahl coil vibrator.