Totally F*cking Betrayed

[Mz_Scarlett]

Hey ya'll,

I have never used this forum to vent, but tonight I just have to. I have lived in Miami for 2.5 years now and making friends outside my work has been a challenge. I work A LOT of hours (now that we are in season it isn't abnormal for me to work 60-100 hours a week) and when I do get time off I want to relax and unwind...

A little over a year ago I moved into a charming guest house that is divided into two apartments. Amber lived on the other side and we became fast friends. It felt like a blessing. We spent all of our spare time together and I truly felt like I was with a kindred spirit.

Last January I met Chris. He and I spent three months together with him practically living at my apartment, after which, we realized that we really weren't meant to be a couple so we decided to date other people...although that didn't materialize until the following August and in the meantime we remained friends with "priveledges" so to speak. Our friendship grew and we had a fantastic relationship.

Over the summer Amber and I had a huge falling out. She stood me up at the airport (claimed she was too tired) and left me with an $80 cab ride to get home. I was pissed, but I really loved her and wanted to move past it. She apologized profusely and we moved on. By the end of the summer she wouldn't speak to me at all and I could never figure out what had happened. She said something on her web page about being depressed and pushing people away. So I made a point of reaching out to her and letting her know that I was there if she needed a friend. She never reached back.

We saw each other once in the fall and then she stopped speaking to me again. I gave her a compilation cd that I made for all of my friends and a Christmas card, but she never replied. She has done nothing but ignore me and shut me out. This has been very painful for me because I believed that we were friends.

The past few months have been a challenge all the way around. I've been working my ass off, broke up with my boyfriend due to the physical distance in our relationship and am in the process of making a decision about whether or not to stay in Miami or move home to Seattle. Life has not felt stable or safe.

Chris and I have remained friends all this time. This week he asked me if we could get together tonight for drinks- something I was looking forward too since we haven't been able to hang out as much with my schedule and the fact that he has finally started dating someone.

Tonight he told me that someone is Amber.

I feel so betrayed I cannot even begin to express it. He knows she has treated me like crap and that I have been very hurt over the whole situation.

I know that he was fucking her because he told me two weeks ago that he was sexually involved with the girl he was dating. He says that he is only going to be here for another 6 months at the most and that it isn't serious.

Then why is he doing this at all???????????????????????

I would NEVER have done this to her, regardless of the status of our friendship and I would certainly never have done this to him.

He was my only friend here outside my work and now I feel like I have no one. And not only that, I have to deal with this as a part of my daily life since she shares the same guest house.

I know that he has been communicating with her for at least 6 months without telling me about it based on something he said tonight as well. And he blatantly lied about this when we spoke two weeks ago.

*sigh*

There is much more that could be said, but right now I just needed a forum to release this.

Thank you for listening...

Mz_Scarlett

 

[lavender]

 

[Wiggles]

Just wanted you to know I feel for you. I can't think of anything helpful to say right now, maybe in the morning I'll come visit your thread again and see how your doing.

Hopefully you'll be able to get past all this nastiness. They both acted in a extremely immature way, and they have disrespected your feelings.

Just take care of yourself in the now, and hopefully tomorrow will bring you something better.

 

[Miami Heat]

F*cking Betrayed

Dear Mz_Scarlett,
Nevermind the bloke. Or the bimbo for that matter...Its his loss, I have it on good authority that you're a hottie that can do much, much better.

Sincerely,

Miami Heat

 

[cellis]

I really feel your pain... and have been in a somewhat similar situation in the past...

Sometimes we women suck when it comes to loyalty to each other...

 

[artful]

TRUE COUNSEL

In other circumstances,other situations,...I would counsel COMMUNICATE,but in THIS particular case,you have given enough information where I can state beyond a shadow of doubt.....FORGET them,and move on with your life!

Wash your brain FREE of any bitterness,but pretend they DON"T exist.I know the pain and embarrassment may seem unbearable,but hey,It's YOUR life,and YOU can control it.

BTW,......C'mere and gimme a kiss!...Love...Art

 

[HarlemBlade]

Like the others on this thread have said, count yourself better off without them. They've proven their dishonesty and lack of integrity so why should you give any ounce of yourself to them anymore?

I know it's easy to keep caring. I'm out of a not too dissimilar situation myself. Just try not to feel alone and now is the time for you to shine and also the time for your real friends to shine. You're a wonderful person.

 

[Debbie]

I am sorry that this happened to you and wish you well in the future.
Perhaps Amber was feeling so guilty that she was seeing Chris, without telling you about it that she felt she had to withdraw from your friendship.
Personally I think this is sad. As a friend she could have come and talked to you about it.
*hug* I know things will get better and you will make more friends.

 

[MissTaken]

*hugs* Ms Scarlett.

It is too bad that someone couldn't have said something sooner, simply out of respect. I am sorry they dumped on you.

They aren't worthy of your friendship and while it is difficult to make real life friends when you are so busy, I am sure you will.


BTW: you an say " Fucking" on lit. It isn't against the rules!


*hoping to a get a small smirk out of our friend*

 

[digr224]

Wow,
How your situation takes me back a couple of years. After my exwife filed for a divorce I find out that she has been having a good friend of mine over when I was out of town.

I to this day havent even as much as asked how he is or anything. He died in my eyes the day I found out. The exwife is still have to deal with on occasion.

The hurt will always be there I think. The trust issues I hope will subside one of these days.

There are but a few who know the true pain and confusion of being totally betrayed.

Digr

 

[SilverVeil]

There is no rhyme nor reason for friends to do something like this. I am sorry it happened to you. It is a difficult situation to be in, and I have not words fo advice other than " Fuck 'em if they treat you that way " You have more class in your little finger than they have in their entire bodies.

Chalk it up to exprience and move on with your quality of life enhanced with them out of it.

 

[cuz cracker]

Mz_ Scarlett, sorry to here about the ass fucking you took. In some ways we here at LIT may not be much, but we are here and many of us understand what you are going through.

I knew where your post was headed almost from the start. I have felt the burn before.

I'd lay you odds that's why this amber has not spoken to you very much for so long. Sometimes people are just that way, COLD.

As for your No account, No class friend/ ex-boyfriend, tell him amber is better in bed than he is anyway. (what the hell, a person can't be all sweetness and light all the time.)

Good people live everywhere, it takes awhile to get to know them or know which ones are not.

Good luck, with what ever you decide to do.


just a word from the cracker.

 

[Mz_Scarlett]

You guys are awesome

Thank you for your words of support and love- I totally needed it.

I wrote him an email last night telling him quite succinctly that I refuse to have people in my life that don't understand what it means to be loyal, respectful and loving. I used more choice verbage than that and had my best friend back home read it to make sure it sounded ok. She said it was great.

He also wrote me a short email- cutting it off to try and message me online, but I wouldn't respond. He says that he deserves my bitterness but hopes that I can understand that she makes him happy and that this isn't a fling (although that is precisely what he said it was last night) and that he doesn't know where it is going. That still doesn't excuse the fact that he has lied to me and has hidden a relationship with someone who was supposedly my friend and then turned on me like a rabid dog.

She is not worth my fucking time and I will tell her so if she has the audacity to contact me in any way.

Last night I was so stressed about this- especially since she lives on the other side of the wall and I was afraid of running into them and the awkwardness that will be there. But you know, it might be awkward but SCREW IT (!!) this is MY home, MY life, MY neighborhood and they can just go to hell- I'm not going to change one damn thing about what I do, where I go or what I love because of them. Fuck THAT!



Better now! I will keep you all posted if anything of interest happens. Thank you again for being there for me!!

*hugs* Ms Scarlett.

It is too bad that someone couldn't have said something sooner, simply out of respect. I am sorry they dumped on you.

They aren't worthy of your friendship and while it is difficult to make real life friends when you are so busy, I am sure you will.


BTW: you an say " Fucking" on lit. It isn't against the rules!


*hoping to a get a small smirk out of our friend*

Smirking abounds...

 

[Chantal Marchon]

Now what will you do?

Its hard to lose friends you care about. My best friend went away to college after high school and acted like she never wanted to speak to me again. No phone calls, no letters wouldn't let me know *** she was home or if I could visit. I really don't understand why people do that.

The first thing to keep in mind is that you should not start looking for faults in yourself. It is not because you are defiicient in some way. It is because they have issues.

Now you need to decide would you be happier in Seattle or Miami? Make a list of pros an cons. Which one wins? Miami may be a nice place, but if your not happy there what is the point?

Having moved away from my home town I know what it's like. I really miss it and my friends and the fun things I used to do and my family. I will probably move back someday. Right now, I have a mortgage and my husband is in school so it's not possible. At least I can visit on weekends.

Good Luck.

 

[J.B.]

{{{{hugs!}}}}}

That's some "F'd" up shit that happened to you I'm sorry it did...
dodn't worry I'm a firm beliver in Karma they'll get there's & you'll get a person whom deservs you...

 

[InnocentAngel81]

aww i'm so sorry i hope things go a little better for you.

 

[Cherry]

That's terrible, Scarlett

At least, it explains why they both became distant to you.

For what's it's worth, you're better off without either of them in your life.

 

[Ishmael]

Betrayed

I know how you feel. Truly.

I was married to a woman for 20 years and found out that for the last 2 years she was fucking someone else everytime I left town.

I would have trusted her with my life.

Along with the betrayal went trust. You always seem to lose a little more than you think you do.

Ishmael

 

[Mz_Scarlett]

Re: Now what will you do?

.........Now you need to decide would you be happier in Seattle or Miami? Make a list of pros an cons. Which one wins? Miami may be a nice place, but if your not happy there what is the point?
..........

That would be the question of the hour

I have felt very torn because I had previously made up my mind to leave Miami in June, go to Europe for the summer and then move back to Seattle in September. When I went to speak to my boss he basically said that he would make me a raise and promotion to stay. I wasn't expecting that at all. My heart and home is in Seattle- hands down. My friends back home are very loving and supportive and ask me to come home almost every time that we speak....on the other hand, professionally I am doing very well in Miami and aesthetically I'm just in love with the place- the colors, the foliage, the beach, the sounds...it's just fantastic. Seattle is amazing too, but the beauty of this place has me a bit enchanted right now. More importantly, I need to think of my priorities. Getting myself on my feet financially is first and foremost on my list. I made a mess of my finances via credit cards and have taken responsibility to get everything consolidated so I can build a fabulous financial future for myself. By staying in Miami for another year and a half I can leave here debt free and with a little nest egg to boot!

So in essence, as long as the $$ offer that my boss makes me is a good one, it will be worth it to stay for another year and a half (that is the commitment he will want from me). Emotionally it has been hard, but I've decided that I just have to put myself out there to make friends, even though that can be a challenge with my hours. I have to take care of myself too darn it!

I will know about the job situation by the end of this month, so keep your fingers crossed for me!!

 

[hambry176]

Here is a big huggg for ya scarlet

 

[Jimi]

I just came across this thread...

Hey, Sweetie... I am glad you shared this with us. Your friend Chris needs to grow up a bit, sadly...

Hopefully , it is an object lesson to friends to be "givers of friendship", not just "takers of friendship"

Hope our support has helped.

 

[batter]

dear Mz_ Scarlett

there is nothing wrong with venting here on the board. there are many people with good advice or who have had similar experiences who can understand your problems.

having gone through your thread, first and formost, congratulations on the raise and promotion your boss gave you.
with the kind of hours you have put in at work, you are no doubt a dedicated and valued asset to the company. it is nice to see it has paid off for you in that respect.

working those kinds of hours, i would say, would definitely hamper a good private life. friends would be hard to come by and any you make, you want to hang on to. it sounds like you are a career girl with a bright looking future ahead of you because of all the time and energy you put in to work. i would say, do what you are doing career wise, and dont change your work ethics just yet. soon, you will be at the point where you wont have to work as hard, others will do that for you, and your private life will be yours to do as you wish because you dont have to put in all those hours anymore.

good luck, and hugs.
nice to have met you btw.

 

[Chantal Marchon]

Now what?

Good luck on the promotion. Money is definitely a big factor for most people. A year and a half isn't forever. Fate has a way of working things out in the end.