To Dominate but not rape.

[smokey08]

I must first admit I am totally new to this kind of thing. I have been having a discussion with someone about semi-forced sex. We have talked about the emotional issues and we are ok with that. My question is more on the physical side. Although the idea is to keep the idea of being forced as realistic as possible Im not out to cause her any actual harm. Anyone have any suggestions on what to do and how to work it in without ruining the illusion?

 

[Betticus]

I must first admit I am totally new to this kind of thing. I have been having a discussion with someone about semi-forced sex. We have talked about the emotional issues and we are ok with that. My question is more on the physical side. Although the idea is to keep the idea of being forced as realistic as possible Im not out to cause her any actual harm. Anyone have any suggestions on what to do and how to work it in without ruining the illusion?

I'd say to start out slowly and let the notion of doing it right the first time fade away. You may want to work out a sort of script first and run through it to get a good idea of what is going to work vs. what won't. It'll seem off at first but when you eventually perform the whole rape scene you won't be so worried about harming her. Eventually the feeling like you are play acting will go away and as you assert your dominance it will feel a lot more real.

And the safeword.

 

[satindesire]

Safeword.

If she REALLY REALLY doesn't want it, make sure she understands that she needs to use the safeword.

 

[smokey08]

We have come up with a good safe word that should not beable to be interpreted wrong. For the first few times should we use lube? Im worried about the physical aspect. Im sure we are both going to be nervous. Neither of us know what to expect. I dont want to try and penetrate her if she is not ready. That is kind of the idea on her side. It is an issue we are still discussing. Anyone know if that is even safe?

 

[CutieMouse]

We have come up with a good safe word that should not beable to be interpreted wrong. For the first few times should we use lube? Im worried about the physical aspect. Im sure we are both going to be nervous. Neither of us know what to expect. I dont want to try and penetrate her if she is not ready. That is kind of the idea on her side. It is an issue we are still discussing. Anyone know if that is even safe?

Are you talking about vaginal penetration or anal penetration?

 

[satindesire]

We have come up with a good safe word that should not beable to be interpreted wrong. For the first few times should we use lube? Im worried about the physical aspect. Im sure we are both going to be nervous. Neither of us know what to expect. I dont want to try and penetrate her if she is not ready. That is kind of the idea on her side. It is an issue we are still discussing. Anyone know if that is even safe?

Yeah, I think it would be good to use lube, sometimes a woman's vag can really clench up or get irritated during rough sex and you don't want to break your toys, else you can't play with them anymore. You know what I mean?

 

[YourCaptor]

1 get a safeword

2 let her think your state of consciousness has shifted while really remaining in control.

Also here's one to ponder. Instead of you playing the attacker, how about she plays the victim, letting you respond naturally.

 

[rosco rathbone]

2 let her think your state of consciousness has shifted while really remaining in control.

Good point. There's a lot of playacting involved in domination.

I remember the first time this occurred to me, when I was in my twenties. I was like "lightbulb! she wants me to seem like I'm taking her brutally and selfishly while actually I'm paying attention to her needs and responses without seeming to"

 

[rumara]

precisely. and lube as needed.

 

[subish2009]

Good point. There's a lot of playacting involved in domination.

I remember the first time this occurred to me, when I was in my twenties. I was like "lightbulb! she wants me to seem like I'm taking her brutally and selfishly while actually I'm paying attention to her needs and responses without seeming to"

Yes, I think that's it exactly.

Have you guys tried talking this out really thoroughly? Maybe a little dirty talk? Could be really fun and get you both all riled up for the main event while also ensuring you're both on the same page. Almost like a verbal run-through.

Also, don't expect the first time to be living out your fantasies. I would err on the side of less hard-core rather than more. You can always amp up the intensity next time if you leave her wanting more. You don't want to go balls to the walls, so to speak, the first time you guys try this and have her end up scared or hurt.

We always had a safeword that meant "Stop everything now!" and another that meant, "I don't want to stop completely, but you need to make a change here." Kind of a red light and a yellow light, if you will.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Lube can be improvised. Spit will work well enough for you to gain entry and after that she'll hopefully produce her own juices. If not, spit can be liberally re-applied and spitting on her pussy, or on your hand and rubbing it on your cock can add to the scene rather than detracting from the impact by grabbing the KY. Alternatively, making her suck you first will get your cock nice and wet and you can add to that by maybe saying something like 'do a damn good job blowing me or this will fucking hurt.' Holding her hair/head and thrusting into her mouth rather than letting her suck you can also add to a rape scene.