Tired of getting ghosted

[MelanieShaman]

This may sound strange, but I'm a poly Trans lesbian living with my nesting partner... but every time I find someone who might be invested in me and I then in return, it goes great for a few days or weeks... then... they just vanish. I think it's me. I probably come on too strong at times. I just wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm 1000% me all the time...

What's wrong with me.

 

[PageWriter2]

Ghosted sucks on any level

 

[Escierto]

Don’t beat yourself up about it. Eventually like attracts like.

 

[oneblueye]

like Escierto said dont beat yourself up.

WE CAN ONLY BE WHO WE ARE,

THE TROUBLE COMES WHEN WE ARE NOT.

 

[MelanieShaman]

I feel like I am too much myself and must people don't like or "get" who I am. I do struggle to be 100% me around certain people... like at work in a competitive different person.

 

[Chillygirl]

I was just telling a friend every time I think things are going well they fall apart...it’s like I jinx myself.

I wish I had something better than it sucks and it happens.

 

[MelanieShaman]

I was just telling a friend every time I think things are going well they fall apart...it’s like I jinx myself.

I wish I had something better than it sucks and it happens.

Yep...

 

[The3Ps]

This may sound strange, but I'm a poly Trans lesbian living with my nesting partner... but every time I find someone who might be invested in me and I then in return, it goes great for a few days or weeks... then... they just vanish. I think it's me. I probably come on too strong at times. I just wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm 1000% me all the time...

What's wrong with me.

Nothing is wrong with you! It's them. I'm actually very interested in meeting, chatting, emailing and getting to know a Trans lesbian. I'm soooo curious. Please PM, I'll answer. I wear my heart on my sleeve as well and there's nothing wrong with that. Thanks!! I hope to hear from you.

 

[SkyeGirl32]

This may sound strange, but I'm a poly Trans lesbian living with my nesting partner... but every time I find someone who might be invested in me and I then in return, it goes great for a few days or weeks... then... they just vanish. I think it's me. I probably come on too strong at times. I just wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm 1000% me all the time...

What's wrong with me.

I totally feel this. I hate it when I feel like I’m clicking with someone and then out of the blue - gone. I feel like if they felt the same way they’d bother to let me know that it’s not working instead of just ghosting.

 

[n8Romantic]

I don't know you but perhaps you try to hard and put too much pressure on yourself to be what you think others want. Maybe that scares them away. I don't know. But you I do know don't have to set yourself on fire to make others comfortable. And ghosting is mean, rude, thoughtless, and unnecessary. It's the act of a coward.

 

[IwantU99]

Hello Melanie,
I hope you are feeling alright, I'm a bit tired of getting ghosted too
Maybe we should chat
Would love to hear from you.

 

[Noveena]

100% with you on this subject. It sucks that people think that an acceptable way to separate from someone is to just go to ground and cut themselves off without any explanation. I wonder if this happens more to women than to men?

 

[drobert44]

100% with you on this subject. It sucks that people think that an acceptable way to separate from someone is to just go to ground and cut themselves off without any explanation. I wonder if this happens more to women than to men?

I bet it does, many are afeard of commitment, losing their freedom. I married to quit dating..........it worked!

 

[ChuckandAndrea]

I feel like I am too much myself and must people don't like or "get" who I am. I do struggle to be 100% me around certain people... like at work in a competitive different person.

Anybody on here saying it's not you, it's them, is doing you a disservice. That's not to say they're wrong, but if you listen to them and don't take responsibility for what you might, or might not, be bringing into these situations the problem will likely persist. It's like the old thing... if everyone you know is a total asshole, maybe it's actually you who's the asshole.

I'm going to guess it has a lot to do with WHERE you're meeting people - cause I'm guessing it's online. Online is easy to find a ton of people who 'fit' on a profile and whatnot, but that makes it real easy to ghost someone if they get boring, get too personal too quickly, or any number of other things that may be potential turnoffs. This is especially true with women online. There's a bunch of research and data releases from dating/hookup sites that show this.

Another issue is that you're quite unique and have a unique relationship setup. It's easy to be online and forgot that poly relationships are not the norm and frankly, scare the shit out of most people. Also, being a trans lesbian is going to limit the pool too and unfortunately, fetishization is going to get some folks to open the door, but not give you anything real. You're going to have to be quite selective to avoid creeps - as all the ladies do, but as much as it sucks you're going to have to work even harder.

Again, most of this can be solved with the 'where' question. Online sucks, but does cast a wide net. I'd suggest narrowing down to poly and/or trans oriented places - communities can help screen flakes and creeps to a certain extent. Ultimately though, there's still no better place than the real world. A LOT is lost in text communication - things are inferred that don't exist and the personal connection is much harder to make. Looking into someone's eyes as you're talking to them, the way you're face changes as the words flow, etc provide a much stronger bonding experience. Flakes are still going to exist, people are harder to meet, and it's a whole lot more work in general... but the connections tend to be more real.

 

[MissMandy86]

Sometimes i ghost a guy and you get to see what you really have.. Sometimes the crazy comes out and i feel like whew ..

Most of the time they keep sending needy messages and make themselves a pain in the ass

Please answer.. I just need to know your ok and nothing happened to you ..
Omg .. your so done

But if they handle it well .. then

But if i ghost someone useally i have lost interest