Tinder: Women getting burned by Bad Boys all over again. When will they ever learn?

[LJ_Reloaded]

http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating

It is the very abundance of options provided by online dating which may be making men less inclined to treat any particular woman as a “priority,” according to David Buss, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin who specializes in the evolution of human sexuality. “Apps like Tinder and OkCupid give people the impression that there are thousands or millions of potential mates out there,” Buss says. “One dimension of this is the impact it has on men’s psychology. When there is a surplus of women, or a perceived surplus of women, the whole mating system tends to shift towards short-term dating. Marriages become unstable. Divorces increase. Men don’t have to commit, so they pursue a short-term mating strategy. Men are making that shift, and women are forced to go along with it in order to mate at all.”

Now hold on there a minute. “Short-term mating strategies” seem to work for plenty of women too; some don’t want to be in committed relationships, either, particularly those in their 20s who are focusing on their education and launching careers. Alex the Wall Streeter is overly optimistic when he assumes that every woman he sleeps with would “turn the tables” and date him seriously if she could. And yet, his assumption may be a sign of the more “sinister” thing he references, the big fish swimming underneath the ice: “For young women the problem in navigating sexuality and relationships is still gender inequality,” says Elizabeth Armstrong, a professor of sociology at the University of Michigan who specializes in sexuality and gender. “Young women complain that young men still have the power to decide when something is going to be serious and when something is not—they can go, ‘She’s girlfriend material, she’s hookup material.’ … There is still a pervasive double standard. We need to puzzle out why women have made more strides in the public arena than in the private arena.”

“The men in this town have a serious case of pussy affluenza,” says Amy Watanabe, 28, the fetching, tattooed owner of Sake Bar Satsko, a livelyizakaya in New York’s East Village. “We’ve seen them come in with more than one Tinder date in one night.”

Women’s problems with Tinder couldn’t possibly have anything to do with the men they choose to hook up with, now could it?

Nawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
https://41.media.tumblr.com/b99064c2e1614540955697c74e932b84/tumblr_inline_nsyad4CckK1ri344e_540.png

It’s like voting for the Republican Party and then wondering why you got slapped in the face with Hobby Lobby.

Come on, ladies… and no, I don’t mean start dating nice guys and spread what you’ve got to them. Please just stop dating and take time to re-think your lives. Or keep getting your feelings hurt. Your choice.

 

[hashtag45]

Good article, LJ, and I agree with many things from it.
The only thing that I don't like about that David Buss psychologist guy is his obsession with the word mating...mating system…, which gives me some sort of insight into his own psychology.

 

[sixfeetundernea]

This isn't fair. A lot of bad boys are wolves in sheep's clothing.

 

[sweepthefloor]

The article does not describe any girl crying about getting hurt. The article does describe girls being disappointed by poor sexual performance on the male side.

 

[astuffedshirt_perv]

>The only thing that I don't like ... is his obsession with the word mating...mating system

it is a clinical word, appropriate for his work in evolutionary psychology. Would you have preferred hook up?

 

[hashtag45]

it was meant as a joke.
apparently I suck at this…

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

What a sad article. I will tell you the ending: when the hook up crowd grows a little older and is ready to settle down, the men will commit to someone younger who wasn't a part of the hook up scene in the first place, and the women will be alone, workaholics strung out on anti depressants. I know the never-married women over 35. Don't believe the hype, they are the saddest demographic out there.

 

[Oh_That_Guy]

I'm not a woman but I have been burned twice by Bad Boys. It's why I refuse to see the upcoming sequel.

 

[badbabysitter]

What a sad article. I will tell you the ending: when the hook up crowd grows a little older and is ready to settle down, the men will commit to someone younger who wasn't a part of the hook up scene in the first place, and the women will be alone, workaholics strung out on anti depressants. I know the never-married women over 35. Don't believe the hype, they are the saddest demographic out there.

ummm.. arent you over 35 and never married ?

 

[LJ_Reloaded]

What a sad article. I will tell you the ending: when the hook up crowd grows a little older and is ready to settle down, the men will commit to someone younger who wasn't a part of the hook up scene in the first place, and the women will be alone, workaholics strung out on anti depressants. I know the never-married women over 35. Don't believe the hype, they are the saddest demographic out there.

Only because they still feel entitled to the sexual attention of the men they've designated as alpha males.

Look who they're chasing after. The reason why those women are in this situation is that they never love men for love: they love men for their status. And the men whose status they love, have better options than them.

Why women lose the dating game

Of course, these men are losers, too. They never learn to love anyone and many dump their young brides when they get older.

 

[LJ_Reloaded]

Good article, LJ, and I agree with many things from it.
The only thing that I don't like about that David Buss psychologist guy is his obsession with the word mating...mating system…, which gives me some sort of insight into his own psychology.

But Davis Buss is largely right. The supply and demand patterns he points out is reliably demonstrated among humans. When there's an abundance of women, men do like to shop around. When there's an abundance of men, women like to shop around and treat men like contestants. This is an extremely reliable cause-and-effect pattern.

 

[Ulaven_Demorte]

What a sad article. I will tell you the ending: when the hook up crowd grows a little older and is ready to settle down, the men will commit to someone younger who wasn't a part of the hook up scene in the first place, and the women will be alone, workaholics strung out on anti depressants. I know the never-married women over 35. Don't believe the hype, they are the saddest demographic out there.

ummm.. arent you over 35 and never married ?

That has to sting...

 

[hashtag45]

That has to sting...

it actually doesn't. It just shows that LadyF is v. judgmental - against unmarried women.
I hate it when women turn against and judge their own kind

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Nice guys are Bruce Jenner wannabees.

Every female knows she has just one thing any real man wants.

 

[sweepthefloor]

But Davis Buss is largely right. The supply and demand patterns he points out is reliably demonstrated among humans. When there's an abundance of women, men do like to shop around. When there's an abundance of men, women like to shop around and treat men like contestants. This is an extremely reliable cause-and-effect pattern.

It seems that there are more men than there are women in many countries. Men can love more than one woman and that is natural for men.

The ratio may be equal for a time but men die early and they die in wars.

 

[hashtag45]

Nice guys are Bruce Jenner wannabees.

Actually, LadyF Reaaally pissed me off. I am not married & do not intend to, but definitely for reasons other than "I am a desperate pathetic chick who can't land a man, or has no life outside of work".
And the paradox is, LadyF claims to be a femminist.
LJ was right

 

[LJ_Reloaded]

Actually, LadyF Reaaally pissed me off. I am not married & do not intend to, but definitely for reasons other than "I am a desperate pathetic chick who can't land a man, or has no life outside of work".
And the paradox is, LadyF claims to be a femminist.
LJ was right

If LadyF is a feminist she is a feminist with quite a bit of common sense.

But she ain't perfect, nobody is.