This Just In: More Than 150,000 Canadians Confirmed Missing!!

[Bob_Bytchin]

Canada woke up one day, and half of its population was gone. Where'd they go? They moved to Hollywood of course.

 

[SINthysist]

Nonsense...

It was the annual Lemming Hunt and Drive!

 

[SINthysist]

Or the traditional running of the Caribou...

 

[SINthysist]

OH SHIT! I BET THEY'RE IN FLORIDA VOTING!

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

Oh wait...that was the day there was a hockey game between Montreal and Detroit right?

 

[SINthysist]

Detroit's not in Canada?

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

OH SHIT! I BET THEY'RE IN FLORIDA VOTING!

For Ralph Nader of course.

 

[SINthysist]

AND GUN CONTROL!

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

150,000 Canadians missing? That's nothing.

Russians are turning into a nation of Elves.

The latest Russian census is having problems. Not only are people reluctant to take part and beating up the census takers and the census takers breaking into people's homes to complete the forms, but there are so many Tolkien fans in Russia claiming their ethnic status to be 'Elf' or 'Hobbit' they are in danger of outnumbering true ethnic groups.

And the best the British could come up with was claim to be Jedi as religion.

 

[SINthysist]

I saw a stat that the Russian population is decreasing by 2500 a day.

Where's Lancecastor when there's a REAL issue when it comes to arms control and can the Russians account for all the nukes...?

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

can the Russians account for all the nukes...?

Well, they still have the receipts

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

I want a list of Jehova's Witnesses so that I can go around knocking on their doors and asking "The force into your life considered you have? Hmmm?"

See how they like it.

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

I want a list of Jehova's Witnesses so that I can go around knocking on their doors and asking "The force into your life considered you have? Hmmm?"

See how they like it.

Just get 1 of 3 stickers to put on your front door...you will never have a JW knock again.

1) A Red Cross "I donate blood" sticker

2) A Pro-Choice sticker

3) An "I love Everquest" sticker

 

[SINthysist]

Well, they still have the receipts

LOL!

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

Just get 1 of 3 stickers to put on your front door...you will never have a JW knock again.

1) A Red Cross "I donate blood" sticker

2) A Pro-Choice sticker

3) An "I love Everquest" sticker

Actually I find that just answering the door stark bollock naked and inviting them in works very well for me.

Helps break the ice with the neighbours too!

 

[someplace]

It's the running of the grunion! (But I think we're out of season for that now...hummmmmmmm....)

 

[Coolville]

In one of those amnesties in the States, where illegal immigrants are allowed to stand up and be counted and then are allowed to stay in the country, there were 10,000 Canadians in Los Angeles alone, who raised their hands and said, howzit goyn, eh?

 

[Coolville]

and 6000 of them claimed to be Michael J. Fox, Alan Thicke, William Shatner or Jim Carrey.

Honest, officer! I'm just on my to my agents!! eh!

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

Alan Thicke? Who he? You aren't confused with that brilliant director Alan Smithee are you?

Man I love his films!