this is a thread

[TE999]

Q. What do elephants use for tampons?
A. Sheep

Q. Why did the elephant wear tennies?
A. Because elevenies were too big.

Q. What is a tiger?
A. A pussy that eats you

Q. What's brown and has holes in it?
A. Swiss shit

Q. What's the difference between a hog and a man?
A. A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar all night and buy drinks so he can fuck some pig.

Q. ---

Whatta ya mean this ain't the Humor thread?

Really?

Damn!

 

[Safe_Bet]

Q. What do elephants use for tampons?
A. Sheep

Q. Why did the elephant wear tennies?
A. Because elevenies were too big.

Q. What is a tiger?
A. A pussy that eats you

Q. What's brown and has holes in it?
A. Swiss shit

Q. What's the difference between a hog and a man?
A. A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar all night and buy drinks so he can fuck some pig.

Q. ---

Whatta ya mean this ain't the Humor thread?

Really?

Damn!

You just PROVED it isn't!

Question: How do lesbian gangsters do drive-by shootings?

Answer: They throw skittles at the victim and yell, "Taste the Rainbow!"

Now THAT'S funny!

 

[Saucy_Sage]

You just PROVED it isn't!

Question: How do lesbian gangsters do drive-by shootings?

Answer: They throw skittles at the victim and yell, "Taste the Rainbow!"

Now THAT'S funny!

You guys have gangs? How cool. Like the Jets and the Sharks? The Crips and the Bloods? The Drips and the Floods?

 

[Safe_Bet]

You guys have gangs? How cool. Like the Jets and the Sharks? The Crips and the Bloods? The Drips and the Floods?

You've never heard of the Motorcycle gang Dykes on Bikes?

http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq119/Safe_Bet2008/180px-Dykes_On_Bikes.jpg

 

[hmmnmm]

Uh-huh. I get it.
The Great Twat.
Elephant.
Elephants have great big twats.
Not sure about the sheep. Sure, sheep are wooly and...
hey, what about a wooly mammoth joke?
The Great Wooly Mammoth Twat who monthly snatches a sacrificial sheep?

And if you're going the Wooly Mammoth Great Twat route, the tiger pussy is no longer a simple striped tiger pussy but a sabre-toothed...hm, yeah, leave it a tiger pussy.

 

[Saucy_Sage]

You've never heard of the Motorcycle gang Dykes on Bikes?

http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq119/Safe_Bet2008/180px-Dykes_On_Bikes.jpg

Yeah, right. I mean a real gang, with gangsters. Offing people who muscle into their turf. Tagging the hood. Like that.

This is some sort of club. It's like your daycare, Dykes with Tykes - that's not a gang either. More "Disparate Housewives."

 

[TE999]

You've never heard of the Motorcycle gang Dykes on Bikes?

http://i439.photobucket.com/albums/qq119/Safe_Bet2008/180px-Dykes_On_Bikes.jpg

Q. What's the difference between a woman's track team and a tribe of pygmies?
A. Pygmies are a cunning bunch of runts...

 

[Safe_Bet]

Q. What's the difference between a woman's track team and a tribe of pygmies?
A. Pygmies are a cunning bunch of runts...

Q. What's the difference between a goldfish and a mountain goat?
A. A goldfish likes to muck around in a fountain...

 

[midwestyankee]

Lost you?
You're not serious. Tell me you're not serious.

You're making fun of me aren't you? Which is fine. I'm used to it, being made fun of... nothing new. But that's what you're doing isn't it?

Oh no, oh no... twine twain tween... tw...
no! No! Not the Twat!

You know I tried to escape the Great Twat last week. It tried to lay a twatty twiny trap, with poetry.

But there is no escape from The Great Twat.

I once enjoyed the movie The Great Twat Shrubbery. It was a mystery - no one knew who had shaved the Great Twat.

 

[hmmnmm]

I once enjoyed the movie The Great Twat Shrubbery. It was a mystery - no one knew who had shaved the Great Twat.

Oh yeah I saw it (more than once). Had giant clam nightmares for a few weeks. But it's not the Great Twat's fault. For I still love The Great Twat. It is the Great Twat who brings bushes and buttons to those who are good. Someday...

 

[midwestyankee]

Oh yeah I saw it (more than once). Had giant clam nightmares for a few weeks. But it's not the Great Twat's fault. For I still love The Great Twat. It is the Great Twat who brings bushes and buttons to those who are good. Someday...

I always look forward to Great Twatterday for that very reason.

 

[hmmnmm]

I always look forward to Great Twatterday for that very reason.

Oh me too, me too. Lay out in the twat patch on Twatterday eve and gaze heavenward, for they say on some nights you can see it coming from far away. The unbelievers call it thunder.

 

[hmmnmm]

Now I'm all worked up. Can't think of much else. Think I'll go and... well what else can one do but twiddle one's thumbs?

 

[TE999]

Now I'm all worked up. Can't think of much else. Think I'll go and... well what else can one do but twiddle one's thumbs?

I've heard it called a lot of things, but never a thumb. You have two?

 

[voluptuary_manque]

At least all this participation prevents the thread from being monofiliment.

 

[hmmnmm]

I've heard it called a lot of things, but never a thumb. You have two?

Two what?

Its? More than two of those.

Thumbs? Yes. Two. Same as toes.


Ah! just caught it.

It was an entirely unintentional entwine
[two+what]

 

[midwestyankee]

Two what?

Its? More than two of those.

Thumbs? Yes. Two. Same as toes.


Ah! just caught it.

It was an entirely unintentional entwine
[two+what]

I wonder if Twyna Harp will dance through the thread sometime soon.

 

[hmmnmm]

I wonder if Twyna Harp will dance through the thread sometime soon.

a threadbare harpstress


and now the lovely lit button expands
better pull out for a bit


And I'm not ashamed to admit I cracked open an old dictionary. Thanks VM, for the new word.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Yumpin' Yimminey, it is still a thread!

 

[voluptuary_manque]

a threadbare harpstress


and now the lovely lit button expands
better pull out for a bit


And I'm not ashamed to admit I cracked open an old dictionary. Thanks VM, for the new word.

Dictionary? Just go fishing.

 

[fieryjen]

*perks up*

All I heard was my name and rope.

Yes please.

 

[trysail]

Reply to "Thread" thread: "Scots Frugality"

The Swede's wife stepped up to the tee and, as she bent over to
place her ball, a gust of wind blew her skirt up and revealed her
lack of underwear..
"Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?", Ole
demanded.
"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any,"
she replied.
The Swede immediately reached into his pocket and said, "For the
sake of decency, here's a $50. Go and buy yourself some
underwear."


Next, the Irishman's wife bent over to set her ball on the tee.
Her skirt also blew up to show that she, too, is wearing no
undies. "Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why
not?"
She replied, "I can't afford any on the little money you give me."
Patrick reached into his pocket and said, "For the sake of
decency, here's a $20. Go out and buy yourself some underwear!"


Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bent over. The wind also took her
skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked.
"Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie! Where the friggin hell are yer
drawers?"
She too explained, 'You dinna give me enough money to be able to
affarrd any."
The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and said, "Well, fer the love
'o decency, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit."

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I've never tried to comb a thread.

 

[TE999]

I've never tried to comb a thread.

Try combing curry sometime.

 

[trysail]

I've never tried to comb a thread.

Comb over here.