New Milfstones Thread

[Bamagan]

This is just a feeble attempt at humor, because I often misread the milestones thread title.
But here is a milfstone for you anyway.

 

[anthrodisiac]

There a story idea in here somewhere...

 

[Bamagan]

There a story idea in here somewhere...

An archaeologist discovers that certain ancient fertility statues actually work. By placing one in the ground near someone's home, the residents strongly feel the need to breed...

 

[anthrodisiac]

I just had the dumbest idea...

In ancient times, the woman who this stone is based on sits on her son's lap during a horse ride.

 

[Bamagan]

I just had the dumbest idea...

In ancient times, the woman who this stone is based on sits on her son's lap during a horse ride.

Yeah, not a great idea, since the statue (c. 30000 BCE) predates horse domestication by a good bit (perhaps 4000 BCE, and pun intended). Also, riding a horse typically precludes having a lap since your legs are wide for straddling. Unless you're riding side-saddle, perhaps. Not that saddles were invented until perhaps around 1000 BCE.

Edit: Oh, wait: porn. Right. Yeah, go for it. Only anthropologists and their ilk will balk.

 

[anthrodisiac]

Yeah, not a great idea, since the statue (c. 30000 BCE) predates horse domestication by a good bit (perhaps 4000 BCE, and pun intended). Also, riding a horse typically precludes having a lap since your legs are wide for straddling. Unless you're riding side-saddle, perhaps. Not that saddles were invented until perhaps around 1000 BCE.

Edit: Oh, wait: porn. Right. Yeah, go for it. Only anthropologists and their ilk will balk.

Porn logic is the only logic upon which I base my reality.

I guess they could have a wagon instead...

"Didn't wheels gets invented-?"

Shhhhhhh.

 

[Bamagan]

Porn logic is the only logic upon which I base my reality.

I guess they could have a wagon instead...

"Didn't wheels gets invented-?"

Shhhhhhh.

They might have had boats. There's good reason to believe that rafts and coracles may have been invented around the same time as that statue, although perhaps not in the same part of the world. But suggesting that she was in her son's lap on a crowded raft wouldn't necessarily make an archaeologist cringe. Well, not the ones into mom-son incest, anyway.

 

[anthrodisiac]

They might have had boats. There's good reason to believe that rafts and coracles may have been invented around the same time as that statue, although perhaps not in the same part of the world. But suggesting that she was in her son's lap on a crowded raft wouldn't necessarily make an archaeologist cringe. Well, not the ones into mom-son incest, anyway.

I guess that could work. Crowded canoe and mom really insists she wants to come along to the new island, but gosh, there's only three seats and four people...

I have no idea why I keep getting kicked out of anthropology conventions.

 

[Bamagan]

I guess that could work. Crowded canoe and mom really insists she wants to come along to the new island, but gosh, there's only three seats and four people...

I have no idea why I keep getting kicked out of anthropology conventions.

Probably because of all those polar bear attacks you've attracted. The anthropological community is pretty tight-knit. Word gets around.

 

[anthrodisiac]

Probably because of all those polar bear attacks you've attracted. The anthropological community is pretty tight-knit. Word gets around.

It might also be because I keep going in thinking it's a different type of anthro than it ends up being, and I might throw a hissy fit asking where all the sexy wolf guys are.

 

[BeechLeaf]

Meanwhile, in the Natural History Museum in Vienna, she's in a specially built display case, like a Faraday cage but for sex, and staff have to don heavy protective gear to move her back there - after finding her wherever she slipped out to during the night.

 

[anthrodisiac]

Meanwhile, in the Natural History Museum in Vienna, she's in a specially built display case, like a Faraday cage but for sex, and staff have to don heavy protective gear to move her back there - after finding her wherever she slipped out to during the night.

Right Night at the Museum vibes here.

......sorry, my head went to a lot of places involving Night at the Museum fanfics... carry on.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Milfstones?
Oh, I'm feeling a Flintstones parody story here. Milfstones, meet the Milfstones, They're the modern mom swapping stone age family!

 

[SimonDoom]

He who controls the Milfstones gains sexual control over all moms everywhere.



"Johnny, what are you wearing around your neck? Where's you get that?"

"Never mind that, Mom. Just take off your dress."

"Johnny, you can't talk to me like that," she said, but her hands drew the zipper down and her dress fell to the floor. Soon the bra and panties joined it on the polished oak surface.

"Psych," said Johnny, pumping his fist.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

It reminds me of the trailer for the forthcoming film 'Wicker'.

Olivia Coleman, Peter Dinklage, Alexander Skarsgård, Elizabeth Debicki - what more do you need?