Things That Make You Happy not to be an Australian

[Byron In Exile]

The night sky doesn't look like you're on the wrong side of the galaxy.

 

[islandman]

In your world, Byron, does Australia occupy the entire southern hemisphere?

 

[unregistered]

 

[unregistered]

 

[ChinaBandit]

Water doesn't swirl down the drain in the wrong direction. We don't try to sell our worst beers (VB and Fosters) to everyone else. We don't have to drive Parramatta road. We don't have to be proud of Russell Crowe. The trunk of the car isn't called the boot. Birds fly in the sky and don't sit on the beach. Not every guy I know is my mate. You dont have to watch Aussie rules as it's, truly, aerial ping-pong with no purpose. You don't have to worry about ordering your 'main' which, dumb ass blokes, is the FUCKING ENTREE!

One could go on forever but, for me, it actually gets worse. I will be on the China Eastern overnight to Sydney later today. Goodbye summer for a week.

 

[Byron In Exile]

In your world, Byron, does Australia occupy the entire southern hemisphere?

What an interesting idea.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Horny kangaroos.

 

[warrior queen]

It's funny - the Americans I have met who visit Australia absolutely love it here!
The general comment is 'It's like home, only waaaaaay better!'

 

[Joeybagadonuts]

I hear they love the place and hate the racist people.

 

[warrior queen]

I hear they love the place and hate the racist people.

Crap.
I'm surrounded by expat Americans here where I live.
They love us.

 

[dolf]

everything tries to kill you. the weather, the wildlife, EVERYTHING!
nothing in england will inject me with a venom that'll digest my flesh while i'm still using it. that's just messed up! and the biggest hazzard at the beach is getting your ice cream stolen by seagulls.

 

[warrior queen]

everything tries to kill you. the weather, the wildlife, EVERYTHING!
nothing in england will inject me with a venom that'll digest my flesh while i'm still using it. that's just messed up! and the biggest hazzard at the beach is getting your ice cream stolen by seagulls.

Nothing in Oz will digest your flesh while you're still using it.
That's the Brown Recluse spider that I think you're referencing - and that's a US spider, not Aussie.

 

[Sean Renaud]

Crocs, sharks, dingos, Kangaroos attack politicians, spiders, jelly fish, a mountain on fire for six thousand years. A Rainbow Serpent that eats people, a Bunyip that's all sorts of fucked up. The fact that you've entered into biological and chemical warfare with bunnies and failed to defeat them. There are lots of things wrong with Australia.

But I've heard nothing but great things about the people.

 

[dolf]

Nothing in Oz will digest your flesh while you're still using it.
That's the Brown Recluse spider that I think you're referencing - and that's a US spider, not Aussie.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10978759
http://www.avru.org/compendium/biogs/A000024b.htm
i'm not overly reassured that they usually don't bother injecting enzymes into people, but do sometimes, if they feel mean.

 

[warrior queen]

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10978759
http://www.avru.org/compendium/biogs/A000024b.htm
i'm not overly reassured that they usually don't bother injecting enzymes into people, but do sometimes, if they feel mean.

If you actually read the links, you'd see that necrotising flesh is an uncommon reaction to these three spiders.
In my lifetime, I've been bitten by two of the three - and I'm happy to report that I still have all my flesh

 

[warrior queen]

Crocs, sharks, dingos, Kangaroos attack politicians, spiders, jelly fish, a mountain on fire for six thousand years. A Rainbow Serpent that eats people, a Bunyip that's all sorts of fucked up. The fact that you've entered into biological and chemical warfare with bunnies and failed to defeat them. There are lots of things wrong with Australia.

But I've heard nothing but great things about the people.

In the USA, you have -
Snakes.
Spiders.
Alligators.
Coyotes.
Jellyfish.
Wasps.
Sharks.
Bees.
Bears.
Cougars.
Etc, etc, etc.

 

[dolf]

If you actually read the links, you'd see that necrotising flesh is an uncommon reaction to these three spiders.
In my lifetime, I've been bitten by two of the three - and I'm happy to report that I still have all my flesh

*ahem*

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10978759
http://www.avru.org/compendium/biogs/A000024b.htm
i'm not overly reassured that they usually don't bother injecting enzymes into people, but do sometimes, if they feel mean.

''they only sometimes make bits of you melt''
yeah... doesn't actually make the place more appealing.

my actually read is better than your actually read

 

[girlsmiley]

Bees.

Bees, wasps, ants etc.

Next? I would have to say bindies (prickles). Ouch.

 

[warrior queen]

*ahem*

''they only sometimes make bits of you melt''
yeah... doesn't actually make the place more appealing.

my actually read is better than your actually read

Well, if you already knew it was a rare reaction....
What are you worried about?
Come visit!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

In Vietnam we had a squadron of Ozzies with us, and I quickly concluded that Oz isn't someplace I wanted to be. Weird people. I did have a good debate with a young officer from Papua-New Guinea about the merits of Ozzie crocs and Florida crocs. We have crocs, too.

Just for the record: Ive lived with Brown Recluse spiders all my life without problems. Theyre like most things, don't fuck with them and they wont fuck with you.

 

[warrior queen]

In Vietnam we had a squadron of Ozzies with us, and I quickly concluded that Oz isn't someplace I wanted to be. Weird people. I did have a good debate with a young officer from Papua-New Guinea about the merits of Ozzie crocs and Florida crocs. We have crocs, too.

Just for the record: Ive lived with Brown Recluse spiders all my life without problems. Theyre like most things, don't fuck with them and they wont fuck with you.

Exactly. Don't fuck with the beasties!

Now - spear grass is a whole other issue....

 

[dolf]

Well, if you already knew it was a rare reaction....
What are you worried about?
Come visit!

is bleeding & losing chunks of flesh a rare reaction to shark bites?

 

[warrior queen]

is bleeding & losing chunks of flesh a rare reaction to shark bites?

Oh, puh-leez!
You have way more chance of being knocked over by a car when you step out your front door....

 

[Sean Renaud]

In the USA, you have -
Snakes.
Spiders.
Alligators.
Coyotes.
Jellyfish.
Wasps.
Sharks.
Bees.
Bears.
Cougars.
Etc, etc, etc.

Yeah . . . pretty much everything you listed is harmless. Your snakes laugh at ours as do your spiders. Alligators rarely attack people, they are too small for the most part. Salt Water Crocs eat people. Same goes for your Jelly fish vs ours. Wasps are annoying not fatal (We do have Killer Bees though) Yeah we got Sharks, the Red Triangle in fact but you got sharks and Crocs. Coyotes are less of a problem than stray dogs but Dingos eat babies every single day.

Yeah we have bears and they occasionally do shit but Kangaroos jump Australian politicians. I saw it in the news!

We have cougars and you have Tazmanian Devils. They can turn into whirling dervishes and destroy anything. You still win.

And that's without your Rainbow Serpent, Drop Bears, Bunyip and Dream Time. I'll just be staying safe here in the states where we wiped out all of the dangerous critters (sans bears and sharks) long ago and are perfectly safe pretty much anyplace we go. Unlike you trapped on an Island so deadly it sounds like something out of a bad sci-fi movie.

 

[dolf]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_43-4xjnVA

^^^this.