Things That are Counterproductive

I do most of the same things you do, Lavy. I'd go into detail but your post above already did that for me.

:(
 
you have mentioned your conversation with your EX BOYFRIEND how many times this week?

tiresome

attention seeking

brat
 
Actually..

One of the most annoying things that I do, is when I am upset or sad.

I'll want a certain person around me. I want to lean on the shoulder they offer. I want to vent to them when they let me know they're there.

And instead of doing so, I immediately push them away emotionally and physically.

It drives me insane when I do it, I can only imagine how it makes that person feel.

Luckily, he knows what I'm doing and is helping me break out of that habit.
 
But isn't it a cute lil trolly-wolly?

*pinches the troll's cheek*
 
It is the condition of being 'human' and I think that everyone does it to certain degree. Lessons in life and tests of love just to make certain that your choices have been good for you.

Or...sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.:D
 
It sounds to me like some of you may have self-worth issues. You don't feel that you deserve to be happy or loved so you take actions to prevent yourself from being happy and loved.
 
i do some of those things also ... im incredible hard work ... i go through periods when im just a pain

i've tried to limit those times ... but like you i find that im hard on myself when im going through those times and that ends up just making it worse also


i think you have to accept your faults but at the same time try to improve yourself ... but i think acceptence that you're going to mess up sometimes is the most important ... nobody can be perfect (im saying that to myself as well as you :))
 
people who constantly post to "someones" threads, then bitch about how he is still here...

that kind of thing Lavy?

No, I don't mean you either. unless you do that.
 
Grr.

Five minutes ago I realized that I am completely useless when it comes to helping people with their problems.

I had someone I care deeply about vent their recent frustrations and fears about a very large issue with their life, and I know they were looking for support and feedback - and I just sat there in silence.

I had a million and one things to say to them, but instead of saying them, I just sat there. I don't know why.
 
Re: Grr.

Angel said:
I had a million and one things to say to them, but instead of saying them, I just sat there. I don't know why.

Sometimes, just having someone there who will listen, whether they say anything or not, is a larger help that you know.
 
Re: Re: Grr.

JazzManJim said:
Sometimes, just having someone there who will listen, whether they say anything or not, is a larger help that you know.


I hope so.

I felt like complete shit after I hung up the phone.

I hate wanting to help someone and feeling helpless to do so. It just added to the bad feeling to not give any feedback at all.
 
Re: Re: Re: Grr.

Angel said:
I hope so.

I felt like complete shit after I hung up the phone.

I hate wanting to help someone and feeling helpless to do so. It just added to the bad feeling to not give any feedback at all.

Give them a little time, then check back and see how they're doing.

Trust me, having someone there who'll just listen to a vent is valuable. It's something that not everyone has and it makes a difference.
 
Thanks.

I've unintentionally been a shitty girlfriend in the past. I'd prefer not to repeat that.
 
at least you've been a girlfriend in the past.

i haven't.

:(






:eek:
wait a minute....
 
actually, I totally do that too...and worse, if a guy is really great, I'm a total jerk to them (its like my subconscious is trying to turn them mean), and if he's a jerk, its like I can't be nice, generous, etc. enough. I am totally a different person in each relationship I'm in.
 
Angel said:
Thanks.

I've unintentionally been a shitty girlfriend in the past. I'd prefer not to repeat that.

De nada.

And who hasn't been a shitty girlfriend in the past? Even scylis!

No, really. Everyone's had a relationship that they've loused up. Stuff like that happens. I think as I move toward my advancing years, that the one and only thing that holds a relationship together is communication. You have to be able to tell the other person what's happening in your head and what you see and feel about them. And they have to have the freedom to do the same thing. Problems, misgivings, stuff in your own head - they all have to be fair game to be put ont he table and discussed. It's often true that once you do that, you find that the other person was having many of the same problems and that you can work them out in a very short time.

You have to be able to talk this stuff out. There's no substitute for it really.
 
i hope i never, ever become a shitty girlfriend.

i mean that.

:D
 
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