Things/kinks/fetishes that are hot in erotica/porn less so in real life.

[MrPixel]

Sex in the woods sounds so great. And it can be, but so many things, like bugs, rocks, tree branches, pine needles, bad weather, avoiding being caught by a forest ranger, body odor from not having bathed, etc., can get in the way.

It is. Key is when the woods are attached to a lifestyle campground where your stuff and things like showers and shelter are a 10-minute walk away on a well-groomed grassy trail. A lot of nudist resorts feature trails like this. Our woods even has a small clearing with strategically-placed trees for... uh... those tied-up-in-the-woods fantasies. My wife and I joke about the first sharp bend in the trail where guests are suddenly out of view of the campground. We call it "fuck corner", for obvious reasons.

Only gotcha is the ticks. I mentioned that way back in the early part of this thread. Any time in the woods has to be followed by a thorough body search on each other for the little buggers. Missed one a few years ago and now I've got alpha-gal syndrome, a blood enzyme condition causing a fairly severe allergy to red meats. Not pleasant. I miss hamburgers.

 

[SimonDoom]

It is. Key is when the woods are attached to a lifestyle campground where your stuff and things like showers and shelter are a 10-minute walk away on a well-groomed grassy trail. A lot of nudist resorts feature trails like this. Our woods even has a small clearing with strategically-placed trees for... uh... those tied-up-in-the-woods fantasies. My wife and I joke about the first sharp bend in the trail where guests are suddenly out of view of the campground. We call it "fuck corner", for obvious reasons.

Only gotcha is the ticks. I mentioned that way back in the early part of this thread. Any time in the woods has to be followed by a thorough body search on each other for the little buggers. Missed one a few years ago and now I've got alpha-gal syndrome, a blood enzyme condition causing a fairly severe allergy to red meats. Not pleasant. I miss hamburgers.

That sounds terrible. Ticks are the worst. So sorry you have to deal with that.

 

[Codoc24]

Doggy-style. I find no closeness, intimacy or anything good about that position. It’s just a lot of hard work for little enjoyment. You can’t see your partner’s face, you can’t see their pussy, you can’t see their boobs. you’ve just got a big view of fucking back.

Big fucking woo.

When doing doggy, I like to lube her anus and then slide my thumb inside. It's pretty intense cuz I can feel my cock sliding back and forth inside her.

 

[AchtungNight]

When doing doggy, I like to lube her anus and then slide my thumb inside. It's pretty intense cuz I can feel my cock sliding back and forth inside her.

I prefer reverse cowgirl to doggy. My partner's close enough that I can easily see her boobs, backside, and face, also caress them when appropriate. I can also relax under my partner's heat. Not as many women are as into the position as one might expect, though. They like to see and kiss my face when they're with me intimately. I can welcome that. Lots to be said for the side-by-side, regular cowgirl, and missionary positions.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

And don't forget fun things like bears wandering out of the woods. Or rubbing your junk on poison ivy, while getting busy in the undergrowth. That's a whole other level of fun. Fun that keeps on giving, sometimes for weeks. I guess just to remind you, not to mess around in the woods.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

In this case, would Lyme disease be considered an STD? You would have gotten the disease during sex, after all.

Wasn’t there a court case recently like this? An automobile insurance company was required, IIRC, to pay out to a woman who had caught an STD making love in a car.

Found it! https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-61763333

 

[SimonDoom]

Wasn’t there a court case recently like this? An automobile insurance company was required, IIRC, to pay out to a woman who had caught an STD making love in a car.

Found it! https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-61763333

That's completely nuts.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Sex in the woods sounds so great. And it can be, but so many things, like bugs, rocks, tree branches, pine needles, bad weather, avoiding being caught by a forest ranger, body odor from not having bathed, etc., can get in the way.

A new service, Simon?

"Simon's Practical Tips for Trail Walkers." Pick the brochure up by the gate, and remember, leave sticks where you find them .

 

[MediocreAuthor]

*NC/R has entered the chat*

(This is a remarkably obviously answer, but that entire genre is fun in erotica, and loathesome irl)

 

[HordHolm]

Sex on the beach. One word: sand.

 

[AchtungNight]

Sex in a hay barn. Ok, farmer’s daughter, that was a good first encounter. But these animal witnesses and the rough surface on the floor were terrible distractions from what I did my best to enjoy doing with you. Can we please do our next session in your bedroom? Or if your parents are still a problem, how bout that nice motel down the road?

 

[SimonDoom]

Sex on the beach. One word: sand.

This makes perfect sense to me, but I will say that the one time I did it, it was awesome. The sand did not interfere with the awesomeness.

 

[emme8]

And don't forget fun things like bears wandering out of the woods. Or rubbing your junk on poison ivy, while getting busy in the undergrowth. That's whole other level of fun. Fun that keeps on giving, sometimes for weeks. I guess just to remind you, not to mess around in the woods.

Bring some bear spray, a blanket, and scout out the area before bringing me there.

But it's still a fantasy for a little while longer .

 

[Black_and_White_Writer]

I’ve always enjoyed dirty sex fantasies when a wife or lover exposes herself to STIs/STDs. Only a fantastic and some friends say they find it kinky and arousing.

 

[Black_and_White_Writer]

This was my wife's life long fantasy. tentacle monsters fucking her in all holes, was the very first fantasies when she first started masturbating at 12

This is quite a common fantasy.

 

[RelentlessOnanism]

Incest.

Hot as fuck when it's fantasy. I imagine it would be pretty awful in real life.