The Worst Chain Story Ever

[MathGirl]

Re: Hairy

I could recycle "His Bad Hair Day" as part of Chapter one since repetition seems to be appreciated.

Dear Og,
Is that a story about werewolves?
MG

Ps. I believe the gazzunder was known here in the US as a "thunder mug." Both are excellent terms.

 

[oggbashan]

Further version of Chapter One - How long is this going on?

EDITED to remove several thousand words of crap now that the completed work is posted.

The Worst Chain Story Ever
Chapter One
Version 003 30 May 2003

Matching His Fetish


When do I stop? When is enough too much? Help! It's getting out of control.

Og

 

[oggbashan]

The end at last ...

Edited to remove text of posted story.

End (at last) of Chapter One


Og is done. Comments welcome before I post it as chapter one of The Worst Chain Story Ever. Over to the rest of you.

 

[MathGirl]

Og's storey

Dear Og,
Whew! Quite an epic. I have a couple of questions:

Did that "emollient embrocation" contain rare, scented ungulants?

Could the mittens and other fur appurtenances possibly have been made of sheep skin? That would have been an excellent way to work the ovine alternative into your story.

All in all, a heroic effort. Who said that only 19th century Rooshians and professors at Lunch Meat University could write almost endless stories?

I think we should consider your contribution to Svenska's epic to be the Metamucil of Lit.com. It will certainly add bulk to the finished product.
MG

 

[oggbashan]

Rare Scented Ungulants and Ovines

I think that my carefully weaseling note below shows that rare scented ungulants and ovines were not harmed during the production. Perhaps they can be in the following chapters.

(Note to the reader: You must assume that the fur is fake fur
man-made without harming any wildlife but indistinguishable from
real fur of the animals described and that this story subscribes
to the principles of the Earth Summits and all that ecological
greenness. The only people, animals or sentient beings likely to
be harmed by this story are the readers. You have been warned.)

Og

 

[MathGirl]

The Green Lunatic Fringe

Dear Og,
I never thought of you as the type who would pander to tree huggers and Spotten Owl smoochers. DG will probably counter your green and PC orientation with a story which will even things out with the "Nuke the Whales" crowd.
MG

 

[oggbashan]

Once, ah once

In my youth, and yes I did have one, I went out on a whaler and watched whales being flensed which is more painful than being nuked.

I also attended bull-fights in Spain when my age was in single figures. Amateur bull-fighters make butchery honourable.

But now I'm a reformed character. I only buy meat from reputable butchers (have you ever been in a disreputable butcher?) but if I had to I would happily do my own butchery as I did when a boy scout. Fresh wild rabbit is good. Shooting rabbits with antique black powder rifles is not good. I'm proud that I hit a rabbit at 200 yards (fluke? what fluke?) but a .7 ball doesn't leave much rabbit even for stew.

I was being subtly ironic but why should I bother? Subtle irony is lost on Literotica. (Sobs loudly).

Og

 

[DurtGurl]

FeY

I was being subtly ironic but why should I bother? Subtle irony is lost on Literotica. (Sobs loudly).

Dear Og,
You really should know by now that suttelty dosn't work on this bunch. They need to be hit over the head, then drawn and quartered. Then they just might notice.
DG
Pee Ess: Soccer blew! Your story was horibble. Congratulations

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Dear Literoticans.

I want to apologize to each and everyone for the horrible thing I have started here. I have just finished reading og's last part of the never-ending story, with all the repetitions and side-stepping stories that has nothing to do with the original story, and I can only bow my head in admiration for og, who has produced a complete piece of sh...tory.

Very strong work, og!

BlackSnake, you're on! Let's see if your Mature chapter can fill any of all the shoes Magdalena has in her walk-in closet...

 

[oggbashan]

Diffidently ...

Ahem, does that mean I should post it now?

Can we afford the ridicule that will be heaped on the Author's Hangout?

Og

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Post it.

 

[MathGirl]

5-0

Post 'em, Danno

 

[oggbashan]

You asked for it...

Chapter one has been submitted.

Og

 

[Svenskaflicka]

May the gods and goddesses have mercy on our souls...

 

[oggbashan]

Sacrifices

I will pour libations to any reasonable Gods and Goddesses that might be inclined to avert the omens of disaster surrounding Chapter One.

Bacchus will get the first libation. If I drink enough I might get over the prostitution of my art.

My Muses will never forgive me.

Og

 

[Svenskaflicka]

This reminds me of that comedy with Rowan Atkinson, "In Hell", where he plays The Devil, and he sends "everyone who saw the movie Life of Brian" to a special place in hell, with the condolence:

"No, it seems He CAN'T take a joke, after all..."

 

[DurtGurl]

My new AV

Many thanks to Svenska for her work on my new AV. Yes, of coarse it's me.
DG

 

[Guest]

good work, you two!!

Many thanks to Svenska for her work on my new AV. Yes, of coarse it's me. DG

It's perfect. Though not visible I will presume you are wearing sunglasses too.

Never thought I'd think this, but I want a big butt (and not on a man). Purddy

 

[oggbashan]

Hairy

Earlier in this thread I mentioned "His Bad Hair Day" as a possible interpolation into Chapter One but I thought better (or worse) of it and included two so far unsubmitted stories (Pirates) and (How Owen's Bazaar Got Its Name) as diversions from the main plot. Plot? What Plot?

Pestered by admirers I now include a link to "His Bad Hair Day" so that you can judge my normal crap as opposed to my specially composed crap.

http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=67997

Chapter One should have been sufficient warning to new readers of my oeuvre, but if not beware. All is not as it appears to be in any of my stories, or is it, or might it be?

You HAVE been warned.

Og

 

[MathGirl]

Overes

Chapter One should have been sufficient warning to new readers of my oeuvre

Dear Og,
I didn't know men had those things.
MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

One can clearly see the resemblance between MathGirl and DurtGurl... or should I say Cheeky and Cheeka?

 

[Guest]

Re: Overes

Dear Og, didn't know men had those things. MG

Dear MG: it's a long held (yum...) secret. Oeuvres in men didn't quite work out (rather like the chrome formula; a z got left out totally), and though it's a relatively simple medical procedure to fix, there's not one volunteer yet who wants to give birth or even try lactationalization.

Purd.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Actually, Perdy, I have had men lactin...lazcani... shot a milky load on me or in me several times...

 

[oggbashan]

Re: Re: Overes

there's not one volunteer yet who wants to give birth or even try lactationalization.

Purd.

Perhaps because men aren't quite as stupid as we are made out to be. Giving birth can be painful and messy. Giving milk ditto especially if the baby is born with teeth. Even sans teeth, cracked nipples, inverted nipples, ... and all the other inconveniences (that is an understatement) that can come with breast feeding are not worth volunteering for. I'm told that sometimes it can be orgasmic but I'd rather follow the advice in DG's masterly poetry.

Og

PS. Breast Milk still tastes nice after the first few days.

 

[oggbashan]

Chapter One has done its worst

May the gods and goddesses have mercy on our souls...

I didn't expect the submission of Chapter One to have such a disastrous impact on Literotica.

It didn't have any viruses in it, honest.

It must just have been the appalling content that stopped Literotica dead in its tracks.

Sorry

Og