The worst 'BDSM' PM's ever!!!

[petrel]

and I really do use the words BDSM in its loosest sense here, I think we all need a little light relief so come on and share the worst chat up PM's you have received form people either here or elsewhere.

heres a recent one of mine - Maybe I should take the name off - nah he pm'ed me when I have never met or posted on a thread with this guy - he can get posted up here as an example of how NOT to approach me!




my word - how could a girl like me resist such a wonderful, eloquont appeal to my better half and soft heart
*snigger*

 

[lilfrk]

wtf is grownd?

Very nice PM petrel I'm sure it's earned a place in your heart as one of your all time favs.


(gods that's horrible)

 

[HotXBunz]

UGH!

I would bet you had never thought of such a thing until that PM. LOL

 

[Ebonyfire]

and I really do use the words BDSM in its loosest sense here, I think we all need a little light relief so come on and share the worst chat up PM's you have received form people either here or elsewhere.

heres a recent one of mine - Maybe I should take the name off - nah he pm'ed me when I have never met or posted on a thread with this guy - he can get posted up here as an example of how NOT to approach me!




my word - how could a girl like me resist such a wonderful, eloquont appeal to my better half and soft heart
*snigger*

Wow, that was one heart warming post, all right! Reminds me of the one I got a while back telling me how I needed a good fuck by a REAL man!

Ebony

 

[Starfire]

And your problem is???

Okay, Petrel ... I may be new around here, and feeling my way, but what was wrong with that PM?

 

[cymbidia]

petrel?
Can i have him when you're through with his sorry ass?
I'm sure he's man enough for both of us.

 

[petrel]

Re: And your problem is???

Okay, Petrel ... I may be new around here, and feeling my way, but what was wrong with that PM?

the mis-spelling; the approach to me without reading my profile to find out if I welcomed PM's, the attitude - why on earth would any self respecting woman want to associate with a man whose first approach to you involved calling you a cunt;


eeerm - well just about everything really

but you knew that didn't you Starfire

cym - I am sure that a man of his taste and distinction could keep us both occupied and satisfied for a long time

 

[bluntforcemama]

Good Heavens, he must be a real hit with the ladies. I wonder if he's ever heard of Rocky Mountain Oysters. Pure essence of male, and I know they're looking for volunteers at the annual testicle festival.

http://www.funlinked.com/testicle/fact.html

 

[RawHumor]

I think you're avoiding the REAL issue here.

Would you eat a man's ball?

I'm not quite sure I understand his thinking though, does he WANT you to eat his balls or is he just saying that a woman couldn't possibly dominate a man? Or was he just being flirty?

 

[Starfire]

Re: Re: And your problem is???

eeerm - well just about everything really

but you knew that didn't you Starfire

'fraid so ......................................... cunt

Quite a lot of women over the net years have told me about the PMs they receive ... they beggar belief sometimes!

 

[cymbidia]

I think you're avoiding the REAL issue here.

Would you eat a man's ball?

GROSS!
Ewwwwwwwww!
Ptooey!

No.
I would not.
I might lick them, suck them a little, nibble gently...but only when they're attached to a living man and that man wants me to do that kinda stuff to them. But actually eat them? No way, Jose.

I'm not quite sure I understand his thinking though, does he WANT you to eat his balls or is he just saying that a woman couldn't possibly dominate a man? Or was he just being flirty?

If it was just flirtiness then he needs to work on his line delivery. It sucks.

 

[RawHumor]

LOL

You took me FAR too seriously, dear Cym.

 

[RisiaSkye]

Well, I did get an email from someone telling me that I wouldn't be such a "bossy bitch" if I just met a man who'd give me the *beating* I so obviously need. What I couldn't figure out was what he expected my response to be? Perhaps something like "Oh, yes, please beat me. I like abuse, and thank you for noticing."

Needless to say, we have failed to become bestest best friends.
Based on my lengthy and very cathartic reply, I doubt that he'll be offering me a beating any time in the near future.

Can't we get all the fuckwits together? We could run the fuckwits of the world dating service, and kill two birds with one stone: get them to start bothering each other, and to leave us alone...

 

[KillerMuffin]

I'm sorry, guys.

I am such a party pooper. It took me a while to find the thread or I would have pointed it out sooner.

Hi Draco,

No private emails or personal information may be posted on the forums. This rule has been in effect for many years, and it has kept many people out of much trouble (legal and otherwise) many times. If you have complaints about this policy, feel free to send them to mannymoe&laurel@literoticacomplaintdepartment.co.uk.

Your favorite whiny ass,
Laurel

http://www.literotica.com/forum/sho...65574&perpage=20&highlight=email&pagenumber=2

 

[James Blandings]

OK, no ball eating, but what about this?

 

[cymbidia]

I don't even like regular hot dogs!



And Raw Humor, my darling? My little guy laughing got lost off that post. I didn't take you seriously at all, honest.

 

[RawHumor]

And Raw Humor, my darling? My little guy laughing got lost off that post. I didn't take you seriously at all, honest.

Ahhhh... so it was *I* who missed the humorous intent. I didn't THINK there was a way that anyone could have taken my post seriously. I know you don't know me ALL that well, but I thought you knew me better than that.


For future reference, any comment I make regarding cannabilism is likely a joke.

 

[FungiUg]

Can't we get all the fuckwits together? We could run the fuckwits of the world dating service, and kill two birds with one stone: get them to start bothering each other, and to leave us alone...

Scary: they might start breeding!

 

[Prof Bill]

My favorite response to a PM came on the old MSN board which "allowed" us to have a BDSM and D/s board "all to ourselves." There were wonderful intelligent folks on there, and the subs were flat-out brilliant.

They would get newbies and wannabes who would come in and their first words would be something like: "Are you a sub? OK, on your knees, bitch."

For some reason they never got the response they wanted so eventually they would ask why not? The subs, gawd bless them, would respond with great sincerity and with a seeming willingness to be appropriately helpful by suggesting that the newbie/wannabe first press Control/Alt/Delete before sending the message.

To give you some idea of the intelligence of these morons, I think the record was something like 8 tries before the guy gave up. Each time he'd come back and the sub would blame MSN and urge him to try again.

Was it any wonder that the Doms on that board just loved the subs?

 

[FungiUg]

Was it any wonder that the Doms on that board just loved the subs?

The Aussie ones were fun (until MSN got cold feet and closed them all down.) But I can remember getting kicked off one (by a "submissive") because I wouldn't kowtow to some supposedly dominant woman in one of them. It was supposed to be a chat room not a roleplaying room. Pfft.

 

[shamegirl]

Awww! No fun! Most of the deserve it too.
I've just had some retard " respectfully " ask me to click on a random link to fuck knows what. Yeah I'll risk infecting my computer! Oh well, another for the ignore list.

 

[FungiUg]

I've just had some retard " respectfully " ask me to click on a random link to fuck knows what. Yeah I'll risk infecting my computer! Oh well, another for the ignore list.

I can assure you that www.fuckmeupthearsesidewayswithmycomputer.com is perfectly safe!

 

[FungiUg]

I received this unsolicited message:

My plan for you Ms C would involve my wife [aged 52] sitting on your face while I plugged you anally with my inflamed penis. [...]

Personally I'd suggest a course of antibiotics or anti-fungals could help with the inflammation.

 

[TypicalDeviant]

My favorite response to a PM came on the old MSN board which "allowed" us to have a BDSM and D/s board "all to ourselves." There were wonderful intelligent folks on there, and the subs were flat-out brilliant.

They would get newbies and wannabes who would come in and their first words would be something like: "Are you a sub? OK, on your knees, bitch."

For some reason they never got the response they wanted so eventually they would ask why not? The subs, gawd bless them, would respond with great sincerity and with a seeming willingness to be appropriately helpful by suggesting that the newbie/wannabe first press Control/Alt/Delete before sending the message.

To give you some idea of the intelligence of these morons, I think the record was something like 8 tries before the guy gave up. Each time he'd come back and the sub would blame MSN and urge him to try again.

Was it any wonder that the Doms on that board just loved the subs?

That's hilarious!

 

[shamegirl]

Getting a bit sick of people PMing me saying "hi" . I don't want to turn PMs off but it's getting very fucking irritating. I love talking filth to people, but for crying out loud engage a little!