The way to orgasm: ladies, I need your help!

[axel]

Ladies, I need your feedback!...
In contrast to men. to whom orgasm is simple and obvious, it is notoriously complicate and frequently hidden and/or difficult to achieve for a woman. Women, even when they enjoy their lovemaking with their beloved partner, many times, unlike men, never finish and remain frustrated.
To us men it is frequently a puzzle what we should do to bring our partners to orgasm, especially when they are shy and embarrassed to reveal their "secret" and unique for each woman way to orgasm.
In my personal experience, most women do NOT orgasm with penetration, no matter how they need and enjoy it, vaginal or anal.What they need to orgasm is a strong stimulation on their clit.
Some never dare to ask it from their partner, some want a finger on it and most a tongue .Most women need, I think, a very long and hard oral stimulation to achieve their orgasm.
But I believe that the vast majority of women prefer to cum by masturbation, after a session of penetration.Still, very few dare to admit it to their partners and masturbate in front of him to orgasm.Those women ,either remain frustrated constantly w/o orgasms or they masturbate secretely alone.
Some women can cum with their fingers, but most prefer a very strong vibrator.
Will you ladies reveal your preference, your own ways to orgasm
and whether you let your partners participate in the masturbatory phase that leads you to orgasm?
And in that case, what is the way that leads you to your strongest
orgasms?

 

[freakygirl]

My husband is the only man i have been with that can make me orgasm with penetration only.

he is a very loving man.. and makes sure i'm pleased.. loooooooong before he is..

he makes sure i orgasm thru oral stimulation, then again with penetration (this is usually when he has his orgasm) then i'm treated to some more oral with a little bit of anal teasing for yet a few more orgasms..

All of the above mentioned orgasms are the same in intensity... by the time he is done with me.. i don't want him LOOKING at me.. let alone touching my clit...

 

[Mellon Collie]

Still a virgin...sigh. But oral stimulation seems to be doing the trick for me.

 

[Avery_Chisholm]

Cannot Orgasm without...

him fingering me stimulating my G-spot I have way more orgasm's through oral only.....I have been known on occasion given the right position 2 cum by penetration

 

[AusTess]

Firstly,let me say that i dont need to orgasm,to have great sex.
But,the easiest way to get me there?
It's a mind game for me.
It starts way before he lays a hand on me,and sometimes it can only take a word or a glance to put me close to the edge.
After that,the nudge of a wet tongue on my clit,or teeth clamped hard around my nipple,can be enough to send me off,as can a word whispered in my ear,or a bite on my throat.
Fuck my mind first,would be the best advise i could give.

 

[Natalie Nessus]

Fuck my mind first,would be the best advise i could give.

It's usually the most sensitive and hottest spot

 

[cyndiesweet]

I can orgasm with clit stimulation, and penetration (vaginal and anal). I am very lucky to have a fabulous lover.For me though hard clit stimulation isn't good, it's uncomfortable and even painful. I can orgasm fairly easily with a lighter touch.After that I can cum again pretty quick with penetration (either). The most intense orgasms seem to come from anal penetration and clit stimulation together.

That's my two cents.

 

[Lorindellia]

I am completely multiorgasmic, and can self stimulate using kegile type motions, fully clothed anywhere, anytime.

From my perspective it is a person's willingness to explore new horizons and open themselves up to complete pleasure that will give them the strongest orgasm. There is no pat answer (i.e. clitoral, penetration, anal, whatever).... because women achieve orgasm from within first.

If a woman has never been able to achieve an orgasm chances are the problem is not a physical one, it is a mental one. Something has her blocked, she is unable to respond to the electric messages being sent to her brain that (YES! This feels damn good!) I think this can be caused by several distinct life experiences and issues.

A) Self Esteem. If she suffers from poor self esteem, she can't love herself, she can suffer from an inability to orgasm.

B) Religious/moral upbringing. If she was brought up to believe that sex is dirty, disgusting, or makes her a bad person for enjoying it, she may never achieve orgasm.

C) Denyal. She tells her mind that this does not feel good, she effectively blocks the electronic stimuli from ever reaching the final destination and this can be caused by either of the above two plus a whol lot more. Like PTSS, depression, etc...

As for me, about the only thing I am way not into is anal. But hey, I have a lot of fun in every other way and can orgasm all night.

Yours for the Moment,
Lorin'

 

[axel]

Ladies, I am really grateful for your contribution on the analysis of a subject of a huge importance.
Thank you all for the priceless feedback.There is not any greatest satisfaction for a man than seeing and feeling his beloved partner experiencing a blissful orgasm.So, I will study your replies in depth and I will answer to everyone separately.
Nevertheless, your answers so far have reinforced my own experience that every woman, unlike men, has her own way to orgasm and we have to explore them deeply in order to discover it.From the various answers you can see yourselves how one woman loathes what another finds a heaven...
BTW, do you ladies think that age can play a role? Is it possible for a woman to orgasm differently according to her age frame?
Is it possible that the capability of orgasming easily reaches a
plateau progressively and then starts to wane , to fade down, to become less frequent or more difficult to achieve or weaker in intensity? (health problems or depression, anxiety etc excluded).
Or, is it possible that her stimulatory threshhold becomes higher with overstimulation, something like an "addictive" tendency, needing more and longer stimuli with time?
I thank you all, again, and I am looking forward to receiving new
elaborate feedback.

 

[Gilly Bean]

I have never been able to with just penetration. Maybe some day, but not yet. Oral is how I like to best acheive an orgasm, but hands, and water sprays do the job as well.

 

[Lorindellia]

Ladies, I am really grateful for your contribution on the analysis of a subject of a huge importance.
Thank you all for the priceless feedback.


BTW, do you ladies think that age can play a role?

For me it has. Much better now in my 30's than I ever was.

Is it possible for a woman to orgasm differently according to her age frame?

Again, for me, much better now.

Is it possible that the capability of orgasming easily reaches a
plateau progressively and then starts to wane , to fade down, to become less frequent or more difficult to achieve or weaker in intensity? (health problems or depression, anxiety etc excluded).

When I am 60 I will let you know {Wink}

Or, is it possible that her stimulatory threshhold becomes higher with overstimulation, something like an "addictive" tendency, needing more and longer stimuli with time?

Humm, if I add anything to the mix, like alcohol, I may need more stimuli later in the same night, but I am not sure that is what you mean.

I thank you all, again, and I am looking forward to receiving new
elaborate feedback.

Welcome.

Yours for the Moment,
Lorindellia

 

[sigh]

But I believe that the vast majority of women prefer to cum by masturbation, after a session of penetration.Still, very few dare to admit it to their partners and masturbate in front of him to orgasm.Those women ,either remain frustrated constantly w/o orgasms or they masturbate secretely alone.

for someone who claims ignorance, you seem to have rather strong opinions on my/our orgasmic preferences...

was this bit added to provoke a response? i guess it worked, didn't it? lol

for what it's worth, i rarely orgasm through masturbation, though i masturbate at least once a week...for me masturbation is a time of relaxation and usually happens in the bathtub, when i'm up to my chin in scented bubbles, with candles burning all around

and failure to orgasm does not cause me frustration, nor lead me to secret mastubation sessions in a closet...if i want to masturbate, i masturbate, and my lover and i enjoy doing it together (and to each other)

and that's a whole lot more than i ever expected to tell the world about how i masturbate...this damn board somehow drags everything out of me in the end

 

[axel]

an answer to freakygurl32

I am very glad to hear that you have found the only man who can make you orgasm through penetration only ! But what do you think makes the difference with other men before?
From what I presume, before meeting your husband, with no other men you have experienced orgasm through penetration only (but I suppose you did with oral stimulation).So, all of a sudden, when you met your husband, you had experienced an orgasm through penetration for the first time in your life? Do you feel your vaginal orgasm as a differently one
than clitoral? What was different? The technique, the feelings of being so loved and taken so much care of?Something anatomical,
his stamina and perseverence, or what else, if you can specify it, if you can explain precisely the difference that made the "miracle" to happen...
As for oral with a little bit of anal teasing, I have the same experiences with my partners, it feels soooooo good for most ladies this combination!...
Freakygurl, you are a very lucky girl for having such a loving husband who cares so much for your satisfaction and he makes sure you are pleased long before he is.
I suppose many women would envy you...

 

[axel]

a reply to Mellon Collie

Mellon Collie, if you sigh, then why a virgin still?
Since you practice oral sex, why do you protect your virginity?
I know, I get very personal but I think it is very interesting for anybody in the audience to know why nowadays a girl has to be devoid of a fully gratifying sexual life.
Since I am already too personal, does oral do the trick for you with both sexes, if you have ever tried? Is it much difference?
Since your only orgasmic experience is oral, do you need long and hard stimulation or soft and gentle? Do you cum always and quickly when a warm wet tongue touches your throbbing clit? Is it strong enough to bring you in an ecstasis state? And while you experience that wonderful feeling ,dont you feel very strongly the need to be filled inside your vagina as well?

 

[san_hoshiko]

quality of arousal

I have always prefered to bring myself to orgasm. I hate being with a man who feels it's his "job" to make me come. My current lover is an older (wiser) man who doesn't have such needs, he delights in watching me pleasure myself and it is a terrific turn-on, not just to show myself to him and have his eyes follow my fingers, but to know that he finds it arousing and fulfilling for me to be independent of him sexually. For me it's less important how I orgasm (or even that I do at all) than that I am fully honored and respected every step of the way. Quality counts!

 

[axel]

an answer to Avery_Chisholm

Avery, so far I have never met any woman who has ever gotten excited or has even located her G-spot (even after extensive exploration, I mean). Believe it or not, you are the only one whom I hear confirming that this famous spot really works.Does it bring you to an orgasm by being stimulated manually and w/o any help from clit?
As for your occasions of cumming while in the right position, I have had the same experience with one of my lovers, ie occasionally she could cum by penetration alone but only in a certain position.
If you get into that "right position" it doesnt work all the times?
What makes it work some times and others not?
As for fingering, I have known women who enjoyed tremendously being massaged on their cervix, but they could not comfirm whether hwat they felt was a real orgasm or something else.What is your opinion on that?
BTW, can every woman recognize for sure an orgasm and distinguish from an extremely pleasurable experience which however did not push them over the edge.

 

[axel]

replying to AusTess

AusTess, I am really glad to know that there are women who do not need to orgasm to have great sex.
All women I have known, regardless of the pleasure of lovemaking, if they could not cross the edge and finish off, they felt edgy, frustrated, nervous, restless ,so we kept striving until they got what they call "the great relief of their urge".
Sex happens to work with me exactly like with you, through my brain, so I know what you mean.Many times I crossed the edge only with a word or a glance, even a thought, let alone whispers in the ear or nibbles.But I have never known any woman like you,orgasming mainly through brain.
BTW, although I have experienced the tremendous role that nipple fondling and licking/nibbling can play for a woman in order to reach an orgasm, I dont know anybody who ever had cum by nipple stimulation only.Is that possible with you?

 

[axel]

answer to cyndiesweet

It amazes me how many possibilities exist for women to reach an orgasm! Do you really can get off only by anal penetration alone?
I have the same experience with you, most women I know have had their most intense orgasms from anal penetration with clit stimulation together.
Actually ,the area between the vulva and anus seems to be the most sensitive in most women , after their clit.
You say that hard stimulation on your clit is uncomfortable and even painful and you can orgasm easily with a lighter touch.
My own experience is quite the opposite.Personally I like soft and gentle touches or licks, but most women I have known needed very hard stimulation, nearly at the borders of pain.And very long ,as well.
You are so lucky to have a "fabulous lover"...