The Trans/Sissy/CD Hangout

[Sol41]

Your point about how peoples brains can work so boggling different hits home.

My husband is EXTREMELY detail oriented, to the point that he often gets bogges down by them and cant see the big picture.

Whereas I try to see big picture first, because if I focus on the details my mind feels like its going absolutely insane, like Im being dragged kicking and screaming into the time of my life where I over thought EVERYTHING.

 

[Phatfeet]

I’ve long suffered from, and have only recently been diagnosed with ADHD. Taking stimulant medication has changed my life.

I’ve had constant background music and multiple tracks of racing thoughts in my head all day every day with only a few occasional mitigating factors. So many of those racing thoughts have been the doubting voices of myself and ‘others’ - be they my parents, ‘god’, or some random person from my past…

I started taking Adderall about a month ago and gained a whole new perspective on myself and my mind. The constant blaring music in my head is as loud as conversation, no joke, but it gets much quieter and I can ‘change the channel’ when on the meds. The countless tracks of racing thoughts quiet down to 4 or 5 and I can choose which ones I want to pay attention to.

Now that I’ve got a deeper understanding and perspective I can manage better even without the meds simply because I have a new baseline for what ‘normal’ can be.


One thing that has become clear is how differently people’s brains can work. Some people don’t have constant nagging doubts, some don’t relate to sounds and patterns the same way I do. Some people thrive on details and minutiae while others focus on the big picture.


I suspect a lot of my inner voices of both confidence and self doubt were influenced by my parents and their own insecurities. We are very different people and they didn’t want to give me room to have my own opinions and beliefs. My wife and I raised our kids to embrace curiosity and to make up their own minds about what is important based on their own perspectives rather than try to shove our ideas down their throats. They aren’t crippled with the same self doubts that plagued me as a kid and throughout most of my life.

I believe in the influence of both nature and nurture and that the more we grow to understand our own nature the better we can nurture ourselves to live happy and fulfilled lives.

I don’t intend to take Adderall every day for the rest of my life. My doctor happens to have ADHD too. He recommended that I use it to establish a baseline then to use it only as needed on days when I really need to focus. So far so good.

You make a valid point, and I should bow out of this conversation in light of that, or at least let it be known that I have the personality of such that I have a lot of confidence. It is not without peril as I am often misunderstood. People take me as arogant and I am not that at all. I am just very confident, which I get; for others who do not have that, or have a false sense of it, it can be threatening.

 

[AlexBailey]

You make a valid point, and I should bow out of this conversation in light of that, or at least let it be known that I have the personality of such that I have a lot of confidence. It is not without peril as I am often misunderstood. People take me as arogant and I am not that at all. I am just very confident, which I get; for others who do not have that, or have a false sense of it, it can be threatening.

Please don’t bow out.

I like what you were saying about the things we stew on and how the voices in our heads are not ‘the real us’.

That’s what got me thinking about my ADHD experiences. Your comments sprung a whole new direction for the conversation.


To me, confidence usually comes across as focus and power. I can interpret it as arrogance but that usually requires that I feel intimidated for some reason. Confidence can suggest that someone has a trove of information and experience that could be valuable. Without the perception of arrogance getting in the way, confidence can be very attractive and many confident people are interested in sharing their knowledge.

The perception of arrogance is often a misinterpretation, and even when someone really is arrogant, it’s often (not always) an attempt to cover up their own insecurities.

I grew up around several aloof and arrogant people who were very proud of their advanced degrees. I felt thoroughly gaslighted until I gained enough life experience to understand that they weren’t all knowing and I don’t need to make my choices based on the opinions of others whatever their credentials may be. Actually, I guess I’m still working on that one.

 

[Sol41]

The last thing I want anyone to feel is that they "arent allowed to speak here". I encourage conversation, not hamper it.

 

[RoanMtn]

If anyone would have told me a year ago that I would be having sissy fantasies I would have questioned their sanity. Yet, I now find myself having sissy fantasies. No idea how that came about.

 

[Sol41]

If anyone would have told me a year ago that I would be having sissy fantasies I would have questioned their sanity. Yet, I now find myself having sissy fantasies. No idea how that came about.

Life do be like that sometimes.

 

[stargame]

If anyone would have told me a year ago that I would be having sissy fantasies I would have questioned their sanity. Yet, I now find myself having sissy fantasies. No idea how that came about.

Maybe this is one reason...View attachment 2514027

 

[Wag_that_tail86]

If anyone would have told me a year ago that I would be having sissy fantasies I would have questioned their sanity. Yet, I now find myself having sissy fantasies. No idea how that came about.

It means you are open to new possibilities, which is growth and that's good. For me, growth has also meant realizing there are few certainties in life.

 

[Sol41]

For me its as sinole as we like what we like and we never stop growing. And resisting that growth is really unhealthy.

 

[RoanMtn]

It means you are open to new possibilities, which is growth and that's good. For me, growth has also meant realizing there are few certainties in life.

I think you're right. I don't feel any shame or guilt over the fantasies, and I like being clean shaven and wearing panties.

 

[Sol41]

If no ones being hurt, I say go crazy. Be exactly how and who you want to be my friend.

 

[Phatfeet]

Confidence is a strange character trait. You cannot make a meal from an empty pantry and so it is with confidence, to teach it, you must have it.

Some people wrongly think that because in a certain situation I might assert what I believe and they NEVER would, that I am arrogant, but I think some of that is them just being jealous that in a given situation they might not dare act.

An LGBT example might be where a person was asking the other day on here if stopping quick and bending over might suggest he was looking for another man to be with. While I understand the ease of which that could be done, I am not sure it would be that effective because it’s a form of communication that leaves a lot of room from misinterpretation. It would be much better just to direct approach the man and ask him if he likes other men. But that would take a HUGE amount of confidence in their communication skills. That is something I could do because I have a lot of confidence, but it is a non-conceivable for someone who doesn’t. And I understand that.

But sadly, someone who passes off my actions as arrogance is going to miss out because they could see how I approach the situation and learn from it, see some techniques and basically increase their confidence by seeing how I exhibit mine. Unfortunately, what happens most times is, unconfident people want my confidence level to be more like their’s. This makes them feel better, but does little to make their lives better. Worse yet, since a lot of people lack confidence, they surround themselves by others who are convinced having no confidence is a good thing. It is not their fault, you can’t make a meal from an empty pantry, so without confidence they cannot teach its importance to others.

 

[ClockworkCourtesan]

In memorium: My Braun Silk-Epil 7 epilator has pulled its last hair after 4 years. The battery has decided not to hold a chargefor more than 12 minutes. Currently shopping for a new one to replace it.
https://ibb.co/WN3gp3G8

 

[Zrosey]

In memorium: My Braun Silk-Epil 7 epilator has pulled its last hair after 4 years. The battery has decided not to hold a chargefor more than 12 minutes. Currently shopping for a new one to replace it.
https://ibb.co/WN3gp3G8

To continue in this memorial of rouge and fallen appliances....I had a IPL, intense pulsed light thing to do away with body hair.
One session using said device on my chin it let loose with a loud BANG ,dropping it I checked for blood, none found it was off to the trash heap for that thing!
It did work tho...as my hairless legs will show!

 

[Sol41]

To continue in this memorial of rouge and fallen appliances....I had a IPL, intense pulsed light thing to do away with body hair.
One session using said device on my chin it let loose with a loud BANG ,dropping it I checked for blood, none found it was off to the trash heap for that thing!
It did work tho...as my hairless legs will show!

Yeek, that sounds so scary. Considering how theres lithium batteries in everything and those things throw hella volatile fits.

 

[AlexBailey]

Anywho, we ate lunch at a local burger place that had a bluegrass cover of Blind Melons "No Rain" playing.
That totally made my day.

I’ve heard that piece.

This is a current favorite, I thought you might like it too:

I’ve recently started focusing on learning how to play bluegrass style guitar.

My ADHD medicine has helped tremendously with being able to keep track of chord progressions and lyrics while trying to jam with other people! It often feels like I have a whole new brain!

Do you play music?

 

[Sol41]

I’ve heard that piece.

This is a current favorite, I thought you might like it too:

I’ve recently started focusing on learning how to play bluegrass style guitar.

My ADHD medicine has helped tremendously with being able to keep track of chord progressions and lyrics while trying to jam with other people! It often feels like I have a whole new brain!

Do you play music?

I play drums! Though I havent had a kit in almost a decade, its the sort of thing thay never leaves me. To this day Im still always ALWAYS tapping on stuff.
I really want to have a chance to learn bass too, so I can play all them funky Cameo licks.

 

[AlexBailey]

Confidence is a strange character trait. You cannot make a meal from an empty pantry and so it is with confidence, to teach it, you must have it.

Some people wrongly think that because in a certain situation I might assert what I believe and they NEVER would, that I am arrogant, but I think some of that is them just being jealous that in a given situation they might not dare act.

An LGBT example might be where a person was asking the other day on here if stopping quick and bending over might suggest he was looking for another man to be with. While I understand the ease of which that could be done, I am not sure it would be that effective because it’s a form of communication that leaves a lot of room from misinterpretation. It would be much better just to direct approach the man and ask him if he likes other men. But that would take a HUGE amount of confidence in their communication skills. That is something I could do because I have a lot of confidence, but it is a non-conceivable for someone who doesn’t. And I understand that.

But sadly, someone who passes off my actions as arrogance is going to miss out because they could see how I approach the situation and learn from it, see some techniques and basically increase their confidence by seeing how I exhibit mine. Unfortunately, what happens most times is, unconfident people want my confidence level to be more like their’s. This makes them feel better, but does little to make their lives better. Worse yet, since a lot of people lack confidence, they surround themselves by others who are convinced having no confidence is a good thing. It is not their fault, you can’t make a meal from an empty pantry, so without confidence they cannot teach its importance to others.

I’m going to have to ruminate on this for a while before giving a more thoughtful response - there’s so much to unpack.

It prompted me to take a deeper dive into the difference between confidence and arrogance. There’s a lot available about the subject online - from Reddit opinions, psychological research, self-help resources, famous quotes, business related management methodology, parenting tips…

For now I’ll just point out that for the sake of communication, one of the main differences between confidence and arrogance is relative approachability and humility which drastically affect the ability of people to be open to new learning and change.

I appreciate your input and I like how it inspires me to reflect more deeply on these concepts. Thanks.

 

[Sol41]

I’m going to have to ruminate on this for a while before giving a more thoughtful response - there’s so much to unpack.

It prompted me to take a deeper dive into the difference between confidence and arrogance. There’s a lot available about the subject online - from Reddit opinions, psychological research, self-help sources, famous quotes, business related management methodology, parenting tips…

For now I’ll just point out that for the sake of communication, one of the main differences between confidence and arrogance is relative approachability and humility which drastically affect the ability of people to be open to new learning and change.

I appreciate your input and I like how it inspires me to reflect more deeply on this concepts. Thanks.

Ive had my own struggles with discephiring those two. From very early in life I confused confidence w arrogance, and thus I had zero of the former growing up.

How I finally recovered as an adult is relaizing EVERYONE has *some* ego. You have to to be healthy imo. Its a natural mechanism for confidence to exist. Keeping the balance is the key.

 

[Sol41]

Every single trans video I've seen features a guitar in the background. Nothing wrong with drums of course, but there's an obligation you need to fulfil!! Only saying

I'll order one with a blahaj print to knock out two birds with one stone.

 

[AlexBailey]

I play drums! Though I havent had a kit in almost a decade, its the sort of thing thay never leaves me. To this day Im still always ALWAYS tapping on stuff.
I really want to have a chance to learn bass too, so I can play all them funky Cameo licks.

I mainly sing, play guitar, baritone ukulele, and hand drums. Drum kits have always been difficult for me but that too might be changing with my recent medication.

The music and festival scene has long been a place where I feel much more comfortable (and confident ) presenting in non-gender conforming ways.

I’m more comfortable in a miniskirt on stage in front of a crowd than walking around town. The best times I’ve had are getting together with other non-binary friends in a common theme or kinky costumes and being an unofficial part of the night time entertainment.

 

[Sol41]

I like singing too actually, I forgot that one. Xp

I dont sing well (probably) but thats not why I love to do it. Its very much a personal thing for me.

 

[ClockworkCourtesan]

Every single trans video I've seen features a guitar in the background. Nothing wrong with drums of course, but there's an obligation you need to fulfil!! Only saying

I need to start doing videos.... I never learned to play an instrument. I can't carry a tune. In a bucket. With a lid on it. I went the other way, into competitive shooting sports and martial arts. My wall is full of firearms and edged weapons. Maybe I'll paint a guitar and a Blåhaj on the newest one I am building. Just watching one of my videos would put you in some weird watchlist before it gets shut down too.

 

[FeelingLikeMyself]

I know of two in my tiny rural town.
One is a really pretty latina gal who works at a local pharmacy. I want to say hi and chit chat when I see her but Im psure shes stealth and may not appreciate me drawing attention to her.

Treat her like any other girl you would be interested in. A few compliments and a smile go a long way. Just don't be a chaser.

 

[Escierto]

Treat her like any other girl you would be interested in. A few compliments and a smile go a long way. Just don't be a chaser.

Why would she be a chaser? She is trans herself. And married.