The Trans/Sissy/CD Hangout

[Sol41]

Are you serious? That is so wrong.

Yeah. Instead of banding together when they need to most, they clique up over the most inconsequential and silly things, like who passes or not.

 

[Escierto]

Yeah. Instead of banding together when they need to most, they clique up over the most inconsequential and silly things, like who passes or not.

Jesus, it's not a competition. In the Philippines they actually have trans beauty pageants but the contestants are always supportive of each other. My girlfriend helps them with their hair and makeup.

 

[Sol41]

Jesus, it's not a competition. In the Philippines they actually have trans beauty pageants but the contestants are always supportive of each other. My girlfriend helps them with their hair and makeup.

People in general need each other now more than ever imo.


Anywho, we ate lunch at a local burger place that had a bluegrass cover of Blind Melons "No Rain" playing.
That totally made my day.

 

[Escierto]

People in general need each other now more than ever imo.


Anywho, we ate lunch at a local burger place that had a bluegrass cover of Blind Melons "No Rain" playing.
That totally made my day.

Sometimes it's a little thing like that. Which turns out to be not so little a thing.

 

[Sol41]

Sometimes it's a little thing like that. Which turns out to be not so little a thing.

So true.

 

[Sol41]

He called in today so we got to spend one extra day together. Its been quite lovely, even if my mind has been a storm in a teacup lately.

 

[Escierto]

He called in today so we got to spend one extra day together. Its been quite lovely, even if my mind has been a storm in a teacup lately.

Oh, how nice! Why storm in a teacup?

 

[Sol41]

Oh, how nice! Why storm in a teacup?

A confluence of things.
Im usually well protected with a strong armor of irreverence, dada-esque absurdism and The Gospel of Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force
(It dont mattah, none of this mattahs)

But lately Ive been worn down by people, by the state of the world.
And then....my cycle started. I dont menstruate obviously but my emotional base has its own cycle (estrogen doesnt care what equipment you have lol) and Ive just been miserable and depressed, diving into the abyss in my own mind.

 

[Escierto]

A confluence of things.
Im usually well protected with a strong armor of irreverence, dada-esque absurdism and The Gospel of Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force
(It dont mattah, none of this mattahs)

But lately Ive been worn down by people, by the state of the world.
And then....my cycle started. I dont menstruate obviously but my emotional base has its own cycle (estrogen doesnt care what equipment you have lol) and Ive just been miserable and depressed, diving into the abyss in my own mind.

Are you an over thinker? My girlfriend is an over thinker and I have been trying to send her stuff to help her relax and let go. Easier said than done.

 

[Sol41]

Are you an over thinker? My girlfriend is an over thinker and I have been trying to send her stuff to help her relax and let go. Easier said than done.

I do, but no where near as much as I once did.
My psych meds and hormones free me from a lot of it, which also makes me a little more inpulsive, which further helps with my other analyzation.

It still happens like rn, but its here and then gone in a day or two, whereas before Id be in that depressive haze weeks, months at a time.

 

[CatGirl69]

Are you serious? That is so wrong.

In my community, there are a *lot* of Leftsters in the trans community. They're insufferably judgmental about everything, but never actually do anything to help anyone. I've heard from others that there's a lot of "cattiness" too. I've gone to meetups, and I just ... don't really connect with anyone. It might be just because I'm a crusty cynical Gen X-er, and most trans folks I know are Z/llennials, and their culture is not my culture.

I *greatly* cherish the handful of genuine friendships I've cultivated with certain trans individuals I've gotten to know tho. <3

 

[Sol41]

In my community, there are a *lot* of Leftsters in the trans community. They're insufferably judgmental about everything, but never actually do anything to help anyone. I've heard from others that there's a lot of "cattiness" too. I've gone to meetups, and I just ... don't really connect with anyone. It might be just because I'm a crusty cynical Gen X-er, and most trans folks I know are Z/llennials, and their culture is not my culture.

I *greatly* cherish the handful of genuine friendships I've cultivated with certain trans individuals I've gotten to know tho. <3

I get along better with older gens. Im elder millienial but these kids who grew up entirely online in places like reddit and 4chan are antithema to my brain. Feels like Im talking to aliens.

 

[ClockworkCourtesan]

Why do I feel so lost and drowning? Maybe cause I am? I'm to thr point of giving up all together. I think a hot date with my three-o-eight is in order at this point.

 

[Escierto]

Why do I feel so lost and drowning? Maybe cause I am? I'm to thr point of giving up all together. I think a hot date with my three-o-eight is in order at this point.

No. It's always darkest before the dawn. From a film that I have seen in its entirety at least ten times, maybe twenty:
"And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"

 

[AlexBailey]

Why do I feel so lost and drowning? Maybe cause I am? I'm to thr point of giving up all together. I think a hot date with my three-o-eight is in order at this point.

Don’t let yourself be pulled down! I know the feelings of being lost and drowning. I’ve definitely put my guardian angels to the test.

Definitely consider finding some new scenery before doing anything drastic or harmful. KY can’t be the best place for a trans-woman’s mental health.

 

[SomaSlave]

No. It's always darkest before the dawn. From a film that I have seen in its entirety at least ten times, maybe twenty:
"And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"

I believe George Carlin had it right when he said, "It's always darkest just before the lights go out," and "Behind every silver lining there lies a dark cloud."

At the end of the day, we simply have to go along with Popeye, who said it best: "I yam what I yam and that's all what I yam."

 

[ChrisOU812]

So sorry

I've been strangling my news feed since the orange man got in.
That's helped but I still have a morbid fascination for the news media which is so unhealthy.

So sorry, I would do just about anything to help you out

 

[subbyclarajane]

I've been strangling my news feed since the orange man got in.
That's helped but I still have a morbid fascination for the news media which is so unhealthy.

SAAAAAAAME

 

[SPARTAN047]

I'm on fast so I didn't eat until evening. All your lunches sounded delicious though.

I was very tempted to say I gobbled down a nice fat thick cock for lunch and swallowed his cum, plus a huge wet pussy for dinner, licked the juicy lips clean and drank her squirt, but even that's not allowed.

Anyway, for everyone else who said they were over thinking - sorry to hear your heads are in a mess, and believe me, I know. One of the biggest weaknesses and strengths for introverts is overthinking.

I seriously have conversations with myself like you might have heard some of us do. IDK why. It's usually over very trivial matters.

Stay strong and you'll get over it.

 

[Sol41]

No. It's always darkest before the dawn. From a film that I have seen in its entirety at least ten times, maybe twenty:
"And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"

I have quote to share that I come back to a lot as well, especially recently.



"I wish none of this had happened."

"So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."

~ Frodo & Gandalf

 

[Phatfeet]

One thing I have found regarding how we think, is that what we hear in our heads is NOT really the real us. It is really either two things; ego or negative self-talk.

It really is not us though. It is hard for me to describe in a simple reply on here, but it really is not us. It is either what we wish we were, or what we wish we were not.

With the latter, it is so self-defeating. We have our regrets of things we wished we had not done, had done better, or positions we had not placed ourselves in, or things we have said. And so we stew on those things, but it is not really us that is talking, but our ego wishing we were better, or made better choices.

The flip side of that is ego too though. We talk to ourselves and try to convince ourselves we are like this in real life, or could do be that, or have this. Ultimately it is our egos trying to convince us that it is the real us. And often we believe it. You can tell because most times before we lie about something, we rehearse it in our minds first.

Test me on this!

The next time you feel yourself talking or thinking to yourself (often in the car or in the shower), ask yourself, “is this the real me that is talking or regret or ego? Most of the time it is our ego's. And the best part is, the moment you ask yourself that… "who is really talking to me here"... it stops! You literally can save yourself from yourself (overthinking) by noticing when your ego or regrets are lying to you.

This is not psychobabble. It can be a true gamechanger for those of us that have been led astray by our own selves. Nip it in the bud and call negative self-talk and ego for what it is… it is NOT the real you so don’t be conned by yourself in thinking it is. Just ask yourself when you find yourself thinking of conversations about to happen, or conversations you wish you have said... "is this really my ego at play?"

That stops it and makes you a much better you... which by the way, is just the real you!

 

[Sol41]

One thing I have found regarding how we think, is that what we hear in our heads is NOT really the real us. It is really either two things; ego or negative self-talk.

It really is not us though. It is hard for me to describe in a simple reply on here, but it really is not us. It is either what we wish we were, or what we wish we were not.

With the latter, it is so self-defeating. We have our regrets of things we wished we had not done, had done better, or positions we had not placed ourselves in, or things we have said. And so we stew on those things, but it is not really us that is talking, but our ego wishing we were better, or made better choices.

The flip side of that is ego too though. We talk to ourselves and try to convince ourselves we are like this in real life, or could do be that, or have this. Ultimately it is our egos trying to convince us that it is the real us. And often we believe it. You can tell because most times before we lie about something, we rehearse it in our minds first.

Test me on this!

The next time you feel yourself talking or thinking to yourself (often in the car or in the shower), ask yourself, “is this the real me that is talking or regret or ego? Most of the time it is our ego's. And the best part is, the moment you ask yourself that… "who is really talking to me here"... it stops! You literally can save yourself from yourself (overthinking) by noticing when your ego or regrets are lying to you.

This is not psychobabble. It can be a true gamechanger for those of us that have been led astray by our own selves. Nip it in the bud and call negative self-talk and ego for what it is… it is NOT the real you so don’t be conned by yourself in thinking it is. Just ask yourself when you find yourself thinking of conversations about to happen, or conversations you wish you have said... "is this really my ego at play?"

That stops it and makes you a much better you... which by the way, is just the real you!

Great post.
Another way of looking at it and how I have in my own life for 13 years now is trust your friends & family when they tell you something is good about you when you think it bad. We humans are social creatures. We lack (I think) the ability to maintain a healthy perspective on our own, cause everything looks distorted when its from within. This is why isolation can be one of the worst things for a human being, you lose that perspective, that rudder correcting you saying "No its not this bad" and eventually....you can lose yourself.

Its hard I know, esp if you have trust issues like myself, to just go with what others say. But its like a muscle, start small on inconsequential things, practice it regularly, and you WILL slowly see the inprovement, I promise.

 

[Wag_that_tail86]

I have quote to share that I come back to a lot as well, especially recently.



"I wish none of this had happened."

"So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."

~ Frodo & Gandalf

I like to think of this (with apologies to Jerry & Co.) -

"The Sun will shine in my back door someday...
March winds will blow all my troubles away..."

 

[AlexBailey]

I like to think of this (with apologies to Jerry & Co.) -

"The Sun will shine in my back door someday...
March winds will blow all my troubles away..."

“She wore scarlet begonias tucked into her curls
I knew right away she was not like other girls, other girls.”

 

[AlexBailey]

I’ve long suffered from, and have only recently been diagnosed with ADHD. Taking stimulant medication has changed my life.

I’ve had constant background music and multiple tracks of racing thoughts in my head all day every day with only a few occasional mitigating factors. So many of those racing thoughts have been the doubting voices of myself and ‘others’ - be they my parents, ‘god’, or some random person from my past…

I started taking Adderall about a month ago and gained a whole new perspective on myself and my mind. The constant blaring music in my head is as loud as conversation, no joke, but it gets much quieter and I can ‘change the channel’ when on the meds. The countless tracks of racing thoughts quiet down to 4 or 5 and I can choose which ones I want to pay attention to.

Now that I’ve got a deeper understanding and perspective I can manage better even without the meds simply because I have a new baseline for what ‘normal’ can be.


One thing that has become clear is how differently people’s brains can work. Some people don’t have constant nagging doubts, some don’t relate to sounds and patterns the same way I do. Some people thrive on details and minutiae while others focus on the big picture.


I suspect a lot of my inner voices of both confidence and self doubt were influenced by my parents and their own insecurities. We are very different people and they didn’t want to give me room to have my own opinions and beliefs. My wife and I raised our kids to embrace curiosity and to make up their own minds about what is important based on their own perspectives rather than try to shove our ideas down their throats. They aren’t crippled with the same self doubts that plagued me as a kid and throughout most of my life.

I believe in the influence of both nature and nurture and that the more we grow to understand our own nature the better we can nurture ourselves to live happy and fulfilled lives.

I don’t intend to take Adderall every day for the rest of my life. My doctor happens to have ADHD too. He recommended that I use it to establish a baseline then to use it only as needed on days when I really need to focus. So far so good.