The Six Words That Will Seduce Any Woman

[dr_mabeuse]

Back when I was in high school, there were men’s magazines with names like Gent and Nugget and Argosy, very low-rent versions of Playboy that alternated two-fisted action (“Captured by the Amazon Man-Eaters of the N’gogo Forest!”) with tips on how to handle the ladies (“Captured by the Amazon Man-Eaters of the N’gogo Forest!”)

Anyhow, they weren’t easy to come by for a high school freshman back then (they weren’t hidden away or sealed like they are now; you just weren’t allowed to look at them. The guy who ran the drugstore kept an eye on you), but one issue I had to have It had a big yellow spash banner on the cover, promising “The Six Words That Will Seduce Any Woman”.

I had a friend who worked at the drugstore on weekends, and at my urging he managed to hook a copy. The article was legit. I mean, it promised it would tell you the words; it wasn’t just some a gag or bait-&-switch, but first you had to wade through all this stuff about why they worked and how to use them and how successful the author was and all that crap.

Finally, they appeared at the very end of the article in their own little paragraph.

They were: “I can make your body sing.”

To this day I don’t know whether they work or not. I’d just be too embarrassed to come out with something like that, but consider it a piece of priceless knowledge I’m passing on to you here.

Never let it be said that the Author’s Hangout has degenerated into frivolous flirt zone where nothing of substance is ever communicated.

---dr.M.

 

[NoJo]

It was possibly a misprint. I read an article in Nature claiming that the word "silg" can cause a strange response in the pituitary gland of female rhesus monkeys, causing them to "present", i.e. stiffen and raise their asses as though ready for copulation.

So it's probably "I can make your body silg", but I doubt if it works on humans.

 

[shereads]

Back when I was in high school, there were men’s magazines with names like Gent and Nugget and Argosy, very low-rent versions of Playboy that alternated two-fisted action (“Captured by the Amazon Man-Eaters of the N’gogo Forest!”) with tips on how to handle the ladies (“Captured by the Amazon Man-Eaters of the N’gogo Forest!”)

Heehee.

The six words are intriguing, but the guarantee is bogus. The effectiveness of any offer and/or threat depends on presentation and delivery. "I can make your body sing," snarled by a drooler who's motioning you into an alleyway, is going to be less effective than, "If you behave yourself, I'll fuck you," delivered with elan by a man who carries himself as if he has other offers waiting.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

It was possibly a misprint. I read an article in Nature claiming that the word "silg" can cause a strange response in the pituitary gland of female rhesus monkeys, causing them to "present", i.e. stiffen and raise their asses as though ready for copulation.

So it's probably "I can make your body silg", but I doubt if it works on humans.

An invitation to slip his ceck into her pessy, eh?

---dr.M.

 

[NoJo]

Hey, you gotta have a formula when you work six nights a week, four hour shows....

 

[gauchecritic]

Never let it be said that the Author’s Hangout has degenerated into frivolous flirt zone where nothing of substance is ever communicated.

---dr.M.

Reduced to hinting in threads and isolated blurts. What have we come to?

Where're the thread Nazis when you need 'em?

 

[shereads]

Make the hangout sing, Gauche.

 

[shereads]

So it's probably "I can make your body silg", but I doubt if it works on humans.

That's just about the sexiest thing I've ever heard. Is it warm in here, or are these panties just too confining?

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Hey, you gotta have a formula when you work six nights a week, four hour shows....

I was reading the Rhesus News and World Report though and they think you're boffo.

---dr.M..

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Re: Re: The Six Words That Will Seduce Any Woman

Reduced to hinting in threads and isolated blurts. What have we come to?

Where're the thread Nazis when you need 'em?

Over at the "My Favorite Color" thread and discussing what movie star's middle name they'd most like to have.

---dr.M.

 

[gauchecritic]

Fucking larf! I just shat meself.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Is this a good place to observe how disturbing I find it that Gauche is starting to make Gollum sexy for me?

Shanglan

 

[carsonshepherd]

*sneaks in*

It's not a flirting thread, it's actually a real-time live writing collaboration.

*sneaks out*

 

[gauchecritic]

Lines when we were lads

I was always in the cleft of a dilemma when I realised that there was such a thing as a good line. (obviously it had little to do with what the actual words were, but I didn't know that at the time)

You find the perfect line, but I came to realise that you had to also find the perfect girl (in my case) who fit your line. So you had two choices. Use the same line all night long and sound stupid (if only to yourself simply because of the repetition) Or hope that each line you thought up would eventually connect with the right girl.

The odds-on bet would be using the same line night after night and sooner rather than later finding someone who was amused/intrigued enough to follow it through. But the drawback was stage-fatigue. Making it sound spontaneous after the 50th time.

Fortunately I learned soon enough that it wasn't the line that mattered. The very first thing was eye contact, next was the second glance with a faint smile or crinkle of the eyes and the third was to forget the first two (assuming no time issues were involved) to be rekindled at an appropriately later time.

 

[Vincent E]

"I make a lot of money."

 

[Guest]

Re: Lines when we were lads

Fortunately I learned soon enough that it wasn't the line that mattered.

I was about to say just this. I was always wary or repulsed by 'lines'. What works begins with whatever he puts out that catches my eye, metaphorically and actually. Then I choose whether to let him know.

Perdita

 

[shereads]

"I make a lot of money."

Wrong.

A man who has to list his one or more attributes, whatever they might be, has already struck out.

 

[rgraham666]

Hi, my name is Bill Gates.

 

[Guest]

Hi, my name is Bill Gates.

No, thanks.

Perdita

 

[rgraham666]

No, thanks.

Perdita

Well, damn.

 

[Guest]

I make a lot of money; Bill Gates?

What's with you guys? I've never been even slightly tempted by a man's bank account. Those are lines from my grandfather's era.

Perdita

 

[shereads]

Well, damn.

That one might work better if a third-party, like the chauffeur, made the initital approach. "Mr. Gates would like a word."

 

[rgraham666]

Re: I make a lot of money; Bill Gates?

What's with you guys? I've never been even slightly tempted by a man's bank account. Those are lines from my grandfather's era.

Perdita

Maybe it's just my perception, p, but they're are still plenty of women around for whom a large bank account counts heavily in a guy's favour.

As far as pickup lines go, what would I know? Last date I had was eight months ago. The one before that had been two years previous.. And that was the first in a decade.

I know almost nothing about women.

 

[shereads]

Re: Re: I make a lot of money; Bill Gates?

Maybe it's just my perception, p, but they're are still plenty of women around for whom a large bank account counts heavily in a guy's favour.

As far as pickup lines go, what would I know? Last date I had was eight months ago. The one before that had been two years previous.. And that was the first in a decade.

I know almost nothing about women.

We're really not that complicated. We want you to communicate how fascinating you find us without appearing to do it on purpose.( Too much flattery might be taken to mean that you think we're shallow and open to flattery.)

Seriously, the sexiest thing about a man you don't yet know very well is when he seems oblivious to other women in the room; he focuses on you but isn't pushy or apologetic about it. Women, like men, like it when people express curiosity about us and are willing to hear the answers.

 

[rgraham666]

Getting back to the cheap Playboy knock offs of the '60s, I remember Jaguar the best.

Thirty five years later and I still have a hard spot for that delicious redhead they had for the centrefold.

'Scuse me. I have something to do.