The SCOURIES reader – for both fans and serious scholars…

[TxRad]

[SIZE=+2]

”the SCOURIES Reader” OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT​

[/SIZE]

The THREADMASTER of this thread will be on vacation from Monday, July 14th until Friday, July 25th. During my absence the following is in effect.

For anyone wishing to contact me vis-à-vis official ScouriesWorld business please send an e-mail to either scouries@yahoo or grand_high_poobah@yahoo. Although Gabby will also be on vacation she will be in Miami and has promised to log-on every day to take care of pressing matters.

For those of you whose business concerns the ”the SCOURIES Reader” thread I’ve made the following arrangements. Two kind LITEROTICANS have been appointed to sit in as replacements. And two veritable writing giants I might add.


Acting THREADMASTER will be the man from Boston, the man with 500+ stories, none other than fast [size=+2]freddie[/size].

And in a first, I’ve also appointed an acting THREADMISTRESS, the wonderful, the beautiful, the gorgeous, the sexy…. Yes, [size=+2]sarahhh b sarahhh [/size], the most commented woman on the site.

If any issues arise as to what is appropriate content for this thread please consult one of these two brilliant authors. And please, in any dispute their word is law.

james r scouries esq.

and if i may i'll leave you with this:

Milk Maiden

All this means is that this thread will be on page three when you return. Hopefully you'll have the good sense to leave it there.

 

[Darkniciad]

My son is looking at me like I'm nuts - I'm still laughing.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

I have my A/V on. Damn girl, You're a cutey. Not to embarrass you but just telling the truth. No other reason to post on this thread.
DG

I'll second that!

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Acting Threadmaster

[SIZE=+2]

”the SCOURIES Reader” OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT​

[/SIZE]

The THREADMASTER of this thread will be on vacation from Monday, July 14th until Friday, July 25th. During my absence the following is in effect.

For anyone wishing to contact me vis-à-vis official ScouriesWorld business please send an e-mail to either scouries@yahoo or grand_high_poobah@yahoo. Although Gabby will also be on vacation she will be in Miami and has promised to log-on every day to take care of pressing matters.

For those of you whose business concerns the ”the SCOURIES Reader” thread I’ve made the following arrangements. Two kind LITEROTICANS have been appointed to sit in as replacements. And two veritable writing giants I might add.


Acting THREADMASTER will be the man from Boston, the man with 500+ stories, none other than fast [size=+2]freddie[/size].

And in a first, I’ve also appointed an acting THREADMISTRESS, the wonderful, the beautiful, the gorgeous, the sexy…. Yes, [size=+2]sarahhh b sarahhh [/size], the most commented woman on the site.

If any issues arise as to what is appropriate content for this thread please consult one of these two brilliant authors. And please, in any dispute their word is law.

james r scouries esq.

and if i may i'll leave you with this:

Milk Maiden

Well, this is certainly embarrassing, I didn't know I was in charge. I just happened to open this thread and there is was. I mean, no one told me that I was the Acting Threadmaster. I had no idea that I was the Acting Threadmaster. Threadmaster, it sounds like someone who walks heavy on the carpet or who controls tire thread designs, doesn't it?

Does anyone know what I'm supposed to do as Acting Threadmaster of Scouries beloved thread? (Now, there's a loaded question. I'm sure I'll get lots of advice from Scouries fans. Then, again, maybe I won't get any. Maybe, I just be, sniff, sniff, ignored.)

As Acting Threadmaster, I'd like to name July 26th as Bostonfictionwriter Day. Yes, friends and enemies, July 26th is the day of my birth. I'll be 36-years-old, 4 years away from the end of my life when I turn 40-years-old.

Hmm...I should write stories about that, about the day of my birth and about turning 40 in 4 years.

"So what are my personal goals here at Literotica?"

I'm glad you asked me that. No, I'm not hearing voices, I have a huge number of AH authors sitting on the floor around my chair looking up at me with love, affection, lust, and dedication. Yeah, me too, I'm glad they are all women, except for those two weird looking guys standing in the distance wearing tight pants and vibrant colors.

Anyway, I digress.

My personal goal is to be the first writer to write 1,000 stories. I'm happy to report that I'm more than halfway there. Now, I don't know if anyone has hit this or not already, but my second goal is to have ten million hits or is that sales? I'm fairly close to this goal already.

My third goal and yes, I realize this is an impossible feat, is to win a contest theme and a monthly. I'm hoping to slip a story in there while all the AH regulars are on vacation or sleeping or not paying attention. Boy, to win the big, Blue W would add a splash of color to my scorecard.

My fourth goal is, of course, to win more Green E's. Actually, I think this is a more difficult goal to do than to win a contest. You see, ever since I wrote that parody, satire on Green E's, Green E - Cursed or Blessed, management (Why do I feel like I'm Samson, the little person in Carnivale when referring to 'Management' the way that he did?) I don't think I'll ever get another Green E.

I've written much better stories than the one that I earned me the Green E that they gave me on my story, Celebrities: Insert Name, alas, the illustrious Green E has eluded me. Hey, I'd settle for a Yellow D, whatever that is or even a Purple F.

Okay, so...since I am the 'Official, Acting Threadmaster of Scouries Thread, I hereby open this thread for business. You are all welcome to post whatever. There are no rules, except to pay me hommage and compliments.

"Why do I get the feeling that no one will make a post?" (lol)

"Hello? Is there anyone out there? Gees, too bad there wasn't a contest happening now because this would be a good time to post my entry."

Freddie
Bostonfictionwriter
Acting Threadmaster

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

...if we really must

Even though Sarahhh is the ThreadMistress, there is no truth to the rumor that Sarahhh is finally going to publically post nude photos of herself on Scouries thread in his absence for your entertainment. Absolutely, none (hint), is there, Sarahhh?

("Pssst, Sarahhh, I need some help here. Where are you?")

Damn, it's so bright standing here. I had no idea what it'd be like to stand on Scouries stage. He has all kinds of props here that I don't know what any of it is and I'm afraid to touch some of his stuff. It's weird, but he has a rubber chicken back here and autographed photos of Laurel and Manu.

Gees, Laurel is a pretty woman. I wonder when this photo was taken. I'm hoping it isn't one of those old photos that Dear Abby used in her column, remember the one with the flipped up hair.

Wow, the date in the back of Laurel's autographed photo is October 2nd, 1935, that would make her...really old.

Why do I suddenly feel like I'm looking at a Oscar Wilde's Picture of Dorian Grey or that movie, Death Becomes Her with Goldie Hawn, Bruce Willis, and Meryl Streep. That was based on a true story, you know. Just pick any Hollywood actress.

Boy, you guys are a tough crowd. Trying to replace Scouries is like the difficult time that Leno had trying to replace Johnny Carson or anyone trying to replace Jerry Lewis on his Telethon.

Do you know any songs? Wanna sing some songs? No, I don't think it would be a good idea to start a campfire in Scouries dressing room. First of all, he didn't leave me the key. He did leave me a trailer to use, as my dressing room, only, it's more like one of those Porta-Potty things. Maybe, if I'm still here next year and he picks me as Threadmaster again, he'll give me better accommodations.

Shit! There's no toilet tissue in here. No matter, I'll just use some of my stories to wipe my ass. No peeking.

You know, I was thinking, if anyone wanted to purge. I don't know, you can use this forum to write anything you want.

We can talk politics or television. I'm a reality TV junkie. And I'm a movie buff. I love a good movie. Has anyone seen a good movie, lately? I just saw the Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. That was cute. It had some funny lines in it. Jack always does a good job.

Many of my friends tell me that I look like Jack Nicholson, especially when I wear my sunglasses and move my one eyebrow up in the way that he does.

Hey, we can talk about cars. I'm a car buff. What do you drive? My girlfriend just bought a Mini Cooper S. Those things are cute. Surprisingly, there's plenty of room inside them.

Oh, I know we can talk about dogs. I love dogs.

Uhm, what else, we can talk about exercising. I just bought one of those massive Bowflexes. The ones that go for $3,000. They gave me a $1,000 discount because I bought one before. I was floored when they told me that I was eligible for their discount.

Maybe, you just want to ask me questions. Maybe you just want to know how I became so talented and am able to keep my modesty at the same time?

Or we can talk about you...if we really must.

"Scouries! Where are you? I'm dying up here. I wanna go home. I don't like being the Treadmaster any more."

 

[Darkniciad]

Okay, fine -- I'm laughing. Good stuff.

Not as funny as scouries claiming corporate sponsorship, but funny, nonetheless.

Of course, you were intentionally aiming for humor. Scouries does it by accident

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Sorry, no booze.

Okay, fine -- I'm laughing. Good stuff.

Not as funny as scouries claiming corporate sponsorship, but funny, nonetheless.

Of course, you were intentionally aiming for humor. Scouries does it by accident

Thanks for stopping by. I'd offer you a beer, but he has the liquor cabinet locked. All he has are these stale potato chips.

He left his guest book out, though, if you want to sign in...and out.

 

[Guest]

you're a very good THREADMASTER freddie... now if only sarahhhh would...

Hi, it’s [size=+2]Gabby[/size] again,

I’ve been on vacation all week but promised the boss I’d check in from time to time. And I can see from your e-mails and PMs that a lot of you are missing him as much as I am. And we’ve still got another week to go before he gets back!

I just posted an updated 1000+ VOTE CLUB list for those of you who sent me e-mails asking me when I’d get to it.

I also noticed when I checked the boss’s account that he’s achieved another milestone. He’ll be pee-ed off he missed it. There’s nothing that makes him happier that when one of his stories sells its one hundred thousandth (100,000) copy.

I’ll post the details in my next post – an achievement like that deserves a post of its own!

I’ve been clubbing all week…but it’s just not as much fun without the boss around. And in fact I think I’m going to curl up on the couch tonight, naked, and read one his brilliant stories. And you know what? I suggest you all try the same thing. It’s not the same as having him around but…

Why not try his latest 100,000 bestseller!

Gabrielle L.

 

[Guest]

he's soooooooo gooooooooooood!

Hola, it’s [size=+2]Gabby[/size] again,

It’s not often a LITEROTICA author gets to see one of his stories sell 100,000 copies on this site. When it happens a second time it indicates an acceptance by the reading public that is extraordinarily gratifying.

When it happens for the EIGHTEENTH time…

My boss, the extremely kind and lovable james r scouries esq. is away this week. A hard earned family sailing vacation…

The following story became the boss’s 18th so honored story yesterday. This is chapter one of a story that is very dear to mr. scouries – a story that was told to him by some of his favorite cousins. Equally gratifying to him is that chapter 2 of this personal family saga has also proven popular with scourians everywhere and will likely join this story in the 100,000 copies sold club sometime next month!

[size=+2]

100,000 COPIES SOLD​

[/SIZE]

[size=+2]

Scouries Family: Chrissies Tale

​

[/size]

Well done boss! We all love you!

Gabby

p.s. With any luck another of the boss’s stories will sell it’s 100,000th copy next week (Nude Dancing #2) and I’ll again be able to write another celebratory post before he gets home. And there’s another that’s also very close… I wonder if he’ll get his TWENTIETH before he returns…wouldn’t that be neat.

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

Has anyone seen a good movie, lately? I just saw the Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. That was cute. It had some funny lines in it. Jack always does a good job.

I'd like to see that movie. There just seems to be a lack of good movies over the past five years. "Pursuit of Happyness" was a nice one. I also like "Stranger than Fiction." That one was unique and funny.

As for your question about your role as, ahem, "threadmaster," when the cardboard castle starts to fall, apply duct tape. I think that about covers it.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

1,000,000th sale!

Hola, it’s [size=+2]Gabby[/size] again,

It’s not often a LITEROTICA author gets to see one of his stories sell 100,000 copies on this site. When it happens a second time it indicates an acceptance by the reading public that is extraordinarily gratifying.

When it happens for the EIGHTEENTH time…

My boss, the extremely kind and lovable james r scouries esq. is away this week. A hard earned family sailing vacation…

The following story became the boss’s 18th so honored story yesterday. This is chapter one of a story that is very dear to mr. scouries – a story that was told to him by some of his favorite cousins. Equally gratifying to him is that chapter 2 of this personal family saga has also proven popular with scourians everywhere and will likely join this story in the 100,000 copies sold club sometime next month!

[size=+2]

100,000 COPIES SOLD​

[/SIZE]

[size=+2]

Scouries Family: Chrissies Tale

​

[/size]

Well done boss! We all love you!

Gabby

p.s. With any luck another of the boss’s stories will sell it’s 100,000th copy next week (Nude Dancing #2) and I’ll again be able to write another celebratory post before he gets home. And there’s another that’s also very close… I wonder if he’ll get his TWENTIETH before he returns…wouldn’t that be neat.

Just wondering what happened to your photo? You were so eager to reach the 100 posts so that you could post your AV? What happened?

We are all curious to see what you look like?

Maybe, you can give us a hint. Are you tall or short? Fat or thin? Blonde, brunette, or redhead? Not to get personal, but this is Literotica, after all, are you waxed, trimmed or bushy? Are you an A, B, C, D or double D. (Don't you just love the alphabet...a, b for Bostonfictionwriter, c, d, double d, green e, F for Freddie, G, red H.)

Gabriella is the female character, love interst, that I used in my novel, With Help From Michael O'Leary. In that book, Gabriella was a very sexy Italian woman. Short, dark haired, she had big tits.

I picture you has having dark curly hair and a body like an ice skater.

Hey, before you go, what is the big red button with the sign "Don't touch!"

Shit, never mind. I touched it, pushed it actually and all these balloons fell from the ceiling with a big sign that reads, Scouries 1,000,000th sale. Sorry. Can you tell me how to turn off the music? It's a bit loud.

Oh, never mind. Here come the naked dancing girls. Where's the key to the liquor cabinet. I have a feeling it's going to be a wild night.

"Ladies! Welcome. Hi, I'm Fre, I mean, Jim Scouries. Yes, thank you. I've had another very successful story. It's nice of you to come to my private party. Make yourselves comfortable on the king sized round bed. That's right squeeze together, there's plenty of room for everyone. You don't mind if I get on top, do you? Just let me remove these confining clothes. There, that's better. Oops, sorry, was that your mouth? Well, that's okay. I'll only be a minute."

Uhm, this thread will be temporarily closed until I, uhm, can finish having sex, I mean, picking up the confetti. Where's the vacuum?

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

There are plenty of good movies, still.

I'd like to see that movie. There just seems to be a lack of good movies over the past five years. "Pursuit of Happyness" was a nice one. I also like "Stranger than Fiction." That one was unique and funny.

As for your question about your role as, ahem, "threadmaster," when the cardboard castle starts to fall, apply duct tape. I think that about covers it.

Actually, I figured out the ending to Stranger Than Fiction early in the movie. I hate it when I do that.

Will Smith was good and his son (real son) was even better in Pursuit of Happyness. Only, it was depressing in the beginning, especially when he had to sleep in the men's room. That sucked.

Charlie Wilson's War with Tom Hanks wasn't bad. I enjoyed it. The Great Debaters with Denzel was pretty good, too. Believe it or not, but Beowulf was pretty good. Oh, and No Country for Old Men with Tommy Lee Jones was disturbingly good.

I don't know what you mean about the cardboard castle, but the surroundings here are pretty luxurious, that is, except for my tiny, Porta-potty trailer.

 

[Guest]

Just wondering what happened to your photo? You were so eager to reach the 100 posts so that you could post your AV? What happened?

We are all curious to see what you look like?

Maybe, you can give us a hint. Are you tall or short? Fat or thin? Blonde, brunette, or redhead? Not to get personal, but this is Literotica, after all, are you waxed, trimmed or bushy? Are you an A, B, C, D or double D. (Don't you just love the alphabet...a, b for Bostonfictionwriter, c, d, double d, green e, F for Freddie, G, red H.)

Gabriella is the female character, love interst, that I used in my novel, With Help From Michael O'Leary. In that book, Gabriella was a very sexy Italian woman. Short, dark haired, she had big tits.

I picture you has having dark curly hair and a body like an ice skater.

Hey, before you go, what is the big red button with the sign "Don't touch!"

Shit, never mind. I touched it, pushed it actually and all these balloons fell from the ceiling with a big sign that reads, Scouries 1,000,000th sale. Sorry. Can you tell me how to turn off the music? It's a bit loud.

Oh, never mind. Here come the naked dancing girls. Where's the key to the liquor cabinet. I have a feeling it's going to be a wild night.

"Ladies! Welcome. Hi, I'm Fre, I mean, Jim Scouries. Yes, thank you. I've had another very successful story. It's nice of you to come to my private party. Make yourselves comfortable on the king sized round bed. That's right squeeze together, there's plenty of room for everyone. You don't mind if I get on top, do you? Just let me remove these confining clothes. There, that's better. Oops, sorry, was that your mouth? Well, that's okay. I'll only be a minute."

Uhm, this thread will be temporarily closed until I, uhm, can finish having sex, I mean, picking up the confetti. Where's the vacuum?

*giggle* This thread is getting kinda funny!

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

You're not going to believe what I just found.

*giggle* This thread is getting kinda funny!

Thank you, I'd offer you something to drink but Scouries locked the liquor cabinet and Gabby won't tell me where the key is.

He's got a full kitchen, but there's no food. I guess he was afraid it would spoil with him being gone for two weeks. Although there are lots of take out menus. Maybe he eats out a lot.

Hey, what's this? Oh, my God! I can't believe it. You're not going to believe what I just found.

Get closer to the monitor so that no one else hears. Since, you've known him a long time, you'll appreciate what I just found.

Get closer, I don't have bad breath.

Do you know what I just found under these menus?

To be continued...

 

[Guest]

Thank you, I'd offer you something to drink but Scouries locked the liquor cabinet and Gabby won't tell me where the key is.

He's got a full kitchen, but there's no food. I guess he was afraid it would spoil with him being gone for two weeks. Although there are lots of take out menus. Maybe he eats out a lot.

Hey, what's this? Oh, my God! I can't believe it. You're not going to believe what I just found.

Get closer to the monitor so that no one else hears. Since, you've known him a long time, you'll appreciate what I just found.

Get closer, I don't have bad breath.

Do you know what I just found under these menus?

To be continued...

*leans forward*

 

[sr71plt]

It does seem that on at least this thread Johnny Carson can be replaced--and upstaged. Scouries must really be livid reading how well his thread has been redecorated and rejuvenated.

 

[Liar]

Do you know what I just found under these menus?

Jimmy Hoffa?

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

To be continued...

It does seem that on at least this thread Johnny Carson can be replaced--and upstaged. Scouries must really be livid reading how well his thread has been redecorated and rejuvenated.

"Hey, Ace, how's it goin'? Are you hot with those googles? Actually, I don't recall ever seeing you without your flight suit. That parachute looks heavy. It must be difficult to drive wearing all that gear. I'd offer you a refreshment, but Scouries has everything locked up. You can hang out, if you'd like, look around. Only, don't touch that big red button 'cause I just cleaned up all the...shit! I asked you not to touch that. Fuck! Here come the dancing girls again and I left my Viagra at home. Pardon me moment, I was just about to tell a secret to Babygrrl."

"Psst...Babygrrl? Where are you? Where'd you get that? That's the biggest dildo I've ever seen. Anyway, what I found was...come here and I'll show you. Look at all these. Do you believe it? Everything that Scouries said is true and this proves it.

To be continued...(lol)

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

It's all true!

Jimmy Hoffa?

Don't tell anyone. I mean, I don't want to get in trouble. Let's just keep this between me, you, and babygrrl, but I found dozens, hundreds of cashed royalty check stubs from Literotica. This guy is making an absolute fortune writing his stories. I was hoping what he said was true. I mean, everyone made fun of him saying that it was all in his imagination, but this proves it.

Look, here's one for $24,000 and another for $11,000 and another for $38,000. I had no idea and there's a pile of them.

And look at this. Here's a picture of his yacht. Now, that's a big freakin' boat. And look at all these topless broads on board. Which one do you think is Gabby? Which one do you think is Scouries? The tall good looking muscular guy or the short, fat bald guy with the cigar? Maybe, that's his Dad. What do you think?

 

[PrincessErin]

.....

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

This is no story.

This is so fun to read Freddie. You need to write a story about this if you haven't already. Thats the problem with writing 2-3 stories a day - I can't keep up with reading all your stories. I'm a poor gal who actually has to work. I don't have time to write and read stories all day.

Keep up the entertainment.

Erin

Actually, Erin, sometimes fact is stranger than fiction. This is no story. I'm just reporting what I see.

 

[DG Hear]

Funny stuff

Actually, Erin, sometimes fact is stranger than fiction. This is no story. I'm just reporting what I see.

BFW - You are actually making this thread worth reading. It really is some funny stuff.
Congrads!
DG Hear

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Gloria Estefan

BFW - You are actually making this thread worth reading. It really is some funny stuff.
Congrads!
DG Hear

Hey, great news! Scouries does have coffee here, although I really don't know when this was brewed. We can heat it in the microwave. It smells like Starbucks French Roast. Actually, it smells like someone peed in it.

You know, I have enough people here now with you, babygrrl, SR71, Erin, and Liar, that maybe I should order some food and drinks. Yeah, why not? We can have a party and charge it to Scouries. After all, look at all these royalty stubs. This guy is making a freakin' fortune on his stories.

Here, pass around these menus and see what everyone wants. Let's get a bunch of food and some bottles of booze and have an open house. Sure, that's it. Hey, someone push that big red button and get the dancing girls in here. Let's start up the music.

Boy, this guy really loves Gloria Estefan. It does have a nice party beat to it. He really likes his confetti, too.

 

[krackheadkathy]

"As Acting Threadmaster, I'd like to name July 26th as Bostonfictionwriter Day. Yes, friends and enemies, July 26th is the day of my birth. I'll be 36-years-old, 4 years away from the end of my life when I turn 40-years-old. "


all in favor..

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

You're not wearing any panties?

"As Acting Threadmaster, I'd like to name July 26th as Bostonfictionwriter Day. Yes, friends and enemies, July 26th is the day of my birth. I'll be 36-years-old, 4 years away from the end of my life when I turn 40-years-old. "


all in favor..

"I, er, I mean, me, actually, I meant to write Aye."

Come in, come in, don't just stand outside. Welcome to Scouries place. Isn't it beautiful? This guy must be loaded. This place is huge. Listen to this.

"Hello? Hello? Hello?"

Did you hear my echo? I've never been in someone's thread that had an echo. He must have a staff to take care of this place. Everything is perfect. There's no dust, everything is shiny, and he wants for nothing. And look, he even has a circular stair case that goes up to the bedrooms, if you, uhm, you know, feel tired and need, uhm, a nap.

"Yawn. Gees, I'm getting tired. How do you feel? Are you tired at all?"

We're still waiting for the food to be delivered. We order a bunch of pizzas, a couple of veggie and fruit platters, some wine and beer, and chips and dips.

I love your outfit. That's the shortest mini-skirt I've ever seen. Why don't you sit here, across from me (he, he). Not so that I can look up your skirt at your panties, but so that I can hear you over the music. Do you like Gloria Estefan?

Pardon? What's that? You're not wearing any panties. On second thought, why don't you sit next to me on the couch.