The SCOURIES reader – for both fans and serious scholars…

[freshface]

Here, pass around these menus and see what everyone wants. Let's get a bunch of food and some bottles of booze and have an open house. Sure, that's it. Hey, someone push that big red button and get the dancing girls in here. Let's start up the music.

What about the dancing boys? Surely Gabby must have a few stashed away somewhere. And with the crowd you've attracted, I think they would be at least as popular... Just sayin', if Scouries is going to host a party, it should be equal opportunity.

 

[DG Hear]

No dancing boys!

What about the dancing boys? Surely Gabby must have a few stashed away somewhere. And with the crowd you've attracted, I think they would be at least as popular... Just sayin', if Scouries is going to host a party, it should be equal opportunity.

Sorry, I don't want no dancing boys. They can go in another room. I'll have Pizza and diet cola while watching the dancing girls.
DG

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Dance for me

What about the dancing boys? Surely Gabby must have a few stashed away somewhere. And with the crowd you've attracted, I think they would be at least as popular... Just sayin', if Scouries is going to host a party, it should be equal opportunity.

Dancing boys? What's wrong with you? Do I look gay to you? Hey, this is my fantasy, er reality.

Actually, Scouries isn't hosting this party. I am. He doesn't know it, yet, but he's paying for it. In that regard, he's financing the party.

Since this is my imagination, I mean, of course, reality, I imagine, er see dancing girls, as Hemingway did when he was stranded on the white sandy beaches with white lions and there off to the distance were naked women.

Can you see them? There are five of them with the taut, firm bodies of cheerleaders, but not as compact. They all have perfect tits to go with their beautiful faces, and they all have curly hair, the kind of hair that bounces when they are blowing me. Oh, and freckles. I have a thing for freckles. Yes, they are naked, dancing Irish women with red hair, blue eyes and freckles.

They are a long legged group with slender thighs and slim waistlines. The asses are so firm and round that you just want to squeeze it, feel it, hold it, and rub it, as you take each warm wet tongue in your mouth and feel their firm, round breast and finger their erect nipples.

"Dance for me girls. Dance for Freddie, er I mean, Scouries. Yes, twirl around, spin, and jump. That's right, now bend over and do a hand stand before doing a split."

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

I wonder if he has cable.

Sorry, I don't want no dancing boys. They can go in another room. I'll have Pizza and diet cola while watching the dancing girls.
DG

Well, we have extra cheese, black olive, and meatball or plain cheese or there's a veggie pizza. There's plenty of food.

I'm gonna have a beer. There's nothing like a Sam Adams Ale with pizza while watching naked dancing women.

Did you check out the cellar in this thread? He has a full size pool downstairs and a pool table. And did you look in the garage at the cars? This place is amazing. I never would have thought that a thread would have a 4 car garage.

Every time I open a new thread, I get a small, white rectangle. Scouries must own this place or invest in it to rate this kind of spread. Just look at his carpet. It's so thick. Granted, I'm not crazy about the color. I really am not fond of pink, but it must have cost him a fortune.

Hey, someone turn on the Plasma TV. I think the Sox are playing. I wonder if he has cable. Gees, he does.

 

[freshface]

Dancing boys? What's wrong with you? Do I look gay to you? Hey, this is my fantasy, er reality.

Actually, Scouries isn't hosting this party. I am. He doesn't know it, yet, but he's paying for it. In that regard, he's financing the party.

Since this is my imagination, I mean, of course, reality, I imagine, er see dancing girls, as Hemingway did when he was stranded on the white sandy beaches with white lions and there off to the distance were naked women.

Can you see them? There are five of them with the taut, firm bodies of cheerleaders, but not as compact. They all have perfect tits to go with their beautiful faces, and they all have curly hair, the kind of hair that bounces when they are blowing me. Oh, and freckles. I have a thing for freckles. Yes, they are naked, dancing Irish women with red hair, blue eyes and freckles.

They are a long legged group with slender thighs and slim waistlines. The asses are so firm and round that you just want to squeeze it, feel it, hold it, and rub it, as you take each warm wet tongue in your mouth and feel their firm, round breast and finger their erect nipples.

"Dance for me girls. Dance for Freddie, er I mean, Scouries. Yes, twirl around, spin, and jump. That's right, now bend over and do a hand stand before doing a split."

My apologies. Of course you're hosting the party.

It's just that I don't want to squeeze the dancing girls. Surely there's room for a few dancing boys? To balance it out and all? I mean, Scouries is paying for it.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

I could get use to this.

My apologies. Of course you're hosting the party.

It's just that I don't want to squeeze the dancing girls. Surely there's room for a few dancing boys? To balance it out and all? I mean, Scouries is paying for it.

Well, if there were "dancing boys", I'd have more competition with the dancing girls. Right now, there aren't too many guys here. Matter of fact, the women out number the guys 2-1. I like those odds.

Grab a beer, get something to eat, and enjoy the party. The fun part is watching the dancing girls leave and then pushing the big, red button, again. I have this whole thing figured out.

Actually, I hope Scouries takes a longer vacation. I could get use to this.

 

[freshface]

Well, if there were "dancing boys", I'd have more competition with the dancing girls. Right now, there aren't too many guys here. Matter of fact, the women out number the guys 2-1. I like those odds.

Grab a beer, get something to eat, and enjoy the party. The fun part is watching the dancing girls leave and then pushing the big, red button, again. I have this whole thing figured out.

Actually, I hope Scouries takes a longer vacation. I could get use to this.

Well, as long as you have good stuff on the veggie pizza. Still feeling gyped on the dancing boys though.

We're gonna be in so much trouble when Scouries comes home! Sure hope you can get those stains out of the carpet.

 

[michchick98]

Thanks for stopping by. I'd offer you a beer, but he has the liquor cabinet locked. All he has are these stale potato chips.

He left his guest book out, though, if you want to sign in...and out.

A locked liquor cabinet is easily fixed with a sledgehammer. You might want to stand back a bit, this could get messy.

What? You sent out for pizza and beer? Well, shit, why didn't you say so Freddie.

I think this thread is doing much better with you at the helm. Oh look! Over in the corner. Yeah, right there. That giant blow-up doll. Is that Gabby? It's the only blow-up doll here.

Um, do you think your dog should be biting the blow-up doll, Freddie? He might pop her.

Oh shit! He popped her! Take cover, she's flying this way!

Oooh! Scouries is gonna be pissed that your dog deflated his woman!

 

[sr71plt]

I can't help it. While I'm scanning BFW's posts, I get the image of his dog Avatar saying all of this, and I just have to chuckle.

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

I mean, Scouries is paying for it.

I guess it's BYOB then. Monopoly-money royalties don't buy much.

Oh, well. I have my favorite wine, cabernet sauvignon, if anyone wants some.

-Sheila

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

you know

A locked liquor cabinet is easily fixed with a sledgehammer. You might want to stand back a bit, this could get messy.

What? You sent out for pizza and beer? Well, shit, why didn't you say so Freddie.

I think this thread is doing much better with you at the helm. Oh look! Over in the corner. Yeah, right there. That giant blow-up doll. Is that Gabby? It's the only blow-up doll here.

Um, do you think your dog should be biting the blow-up doll, Freddie? He might pop her.

Oh shit! He popped her! Take cover, she's flying this way!

Oooh! Scouries is gonna be pissed that your dog deflated his woman!

You write blowup doll like there's something wrong with having one. Sorry, did I just write that?

Well, sometimes, "Break glass for blowup doll," it gets lonely when your girlfriend wants to visit her daughter out of state or she goes away on your companionship and the dog, just isn't man's best friend when it comes to, you know.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

"Eww!"

I can't help it. While I'm scanning BFW's posts, I get the image of his dog Avatar saying all of this, and I just have to chuckle.

Yeah, especially when you imagine his lips moving in relation to the written word.

He's smart, but he's not that smart. Although he is smart enough to realize that he's no blowup doll.

"Eww!"

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

It's on the house.

I guess it's BYOB then. Monopoly-money royalties don't buy much.

Oh, well. I have my favorite wine, cabernet sauvignon, if anyone wants some.

-Sheila

BYOB? Hell no? I found his chargecard statement, called the liquor store where he's a regular customer and we are flush with alcohol.

"What'll you have? It's no the house, er, I mean, it's on Scouries."

 

[Black Tulip]

Well, this is certainly embarrassing, I didn't know I was in charge. I just happened to open this thread and there is was. I mean, no one told me that I was the Acting Threadmaster. I had no idea that I was the Acting Threadmaster. Threadmaster, it sounds like someone who walks heavy on the carpet or who controls tire thread designs, doesn't it?

Does anyone know what I'm supposed to do as Acting Threadmaster of Scouries beloved thread? (Now, there's a loaded question. I'm sure I'll get lots of advice from Scouries fans. Then, again, maybe I won't get any. Maybe, I just be, sniff, sniff, ignored.)

As Acting Threadmaster, I'd like to name July 26th as Bostonfictionwriter Day. Yes, friends and enemies, July 26th is the day of my birth. I'll be 36-years-old, 4 years away from the end of my life when I turn 40-years-old.

Hmm...I should write stories about that, about the day of my birth and about turning 40 in 4 years.

"So what are my personal goals here at Literotica?"

I'm glad you asked me that. No, I'm not hearing voices, I have a huge number of AH authors sitting on the floor around my chair looking up at me with love, affection, lust, and dedication. Yeah, me too, I'm glad they are all women, except for those two weird looking guys standing in the distance wearing tight pants and vibrant colors.

Anyway, I digress.

My personal goal is to be the first writer to write 1,000 stories. I'm happy to report that I'm more than halfway there. Now, I don't know if anyone has hit this or not already, but my second goal is to have ten million hits or is that sales? I'm fairly close to this goal already.

My third goal and yes, I realize this is an impossible feat, is to win a contest theme and a monthly. I'm hoping to slip a story in there while all the AH regulars are on vacation or sleeping or not paying attention. Boy, to win the big, Blue W would add a splash of color to my scorecard.

My fourth goal is, of course, to win more Green E's. Actually, I think this is a more difficult goal to do than to win a contest. You see, ever since I wrote that parody, satire on Green E's, Green E - Cursed or Blessed, management (Why do I feel like I'm Samson, the little person in Carnivale when referring to 'Management' the way that he did?) I don't think I'll ever get another Green E.

I've written much better stories than the one that I earned me the Green E that they gave me on my story, Celebrities: Insert Name, alas, the illustrious Green E has eluded me. Hey, I'd settle for a Yellow D, whatever that is or even a Purple F.

Okay, so...since I am the 'Official, Acting Threadmaster of Scouries Thread, I hereby open this thread for business. You are all welcome to post whatever. There are no rules, except to pay me hommage and compliments.

"Why do I get the feeling that no one will make a post?" (lol)

"Hello? Is there anyone out there? Gees, too bad there wasn't a contest happening now because this would be a good time to post my entry."

Freddie
Bostonfictionwriter
Acting Threadmaster

* giggle *

 

[cloudy]

And in a first, I’ve also appointed an acting THREADMISTRESS, the wonderful, the beautiful, the gorgeous, the sexy…. Yes, [size=+2]sarahhh b sarahhh [/size], the most commented woman on the site.

BAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sarahhhhhhhhhh (affectionately known as "the unitit) won't be back in here, sweets. We ran that delusional psycho out of here a long, long time ago.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

So, scouries, lost your cherry yet? Bend over, and a nice man could take it from you. j

J/k....you're not my type.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Free Scouries World Tee Shirts first come first serve

So, scouries, lost your cherry yet? Bend over, and a nice man could take it from you. j

J/k....you're not my type.

Please to meet you Mr. Severusmax. I'm Freddie, Bostonfictionwriter, the Threadmaster in charge of Scouries thread until he returns from vacation. What do they call you for short? Max?

Now, listen Max, I see that you are into bondage stuff and domination, well, as far as this thread is concerned, there's only room for one master and that's me. You dig?

Moreover, I don't bend over for any man. I've bent backwards for several women. That's not to say that I haven't knocked plenty of men on their asses in my day, especially in those years that I spent fighting in the ring. Yet, let's not get off on the wrong foot here.

I'm going to be the bigger person here and forget your rudeness. Matter of fact, you don't even have to apologize. I figure you didn't know that Scouries was on vacation. I don't know, maybe, he likes that kind of talk about talking one up the ass, but I seriously doubt it. I know that I don't.

In the meantime, I found a bunch of boxes in the back of his thread. I opened a couple of them and found something that may interest you and many of the people who frequent this thread.

For all those who post their desire to have one, I have pink Scouries World tee shirts for the ladies and blue Scouries World tank tops for the men.

All you need to do to receive one is to post your Literotica name, specify if you want pink or blue and give your size.

Now, these are not the 50/50 cotton poly blend shirts. These tees are heavy but soft cotton. They feel like something that Ralph Lauren would make and charge $30 for each. So, if you want one, they are yours for the asking.

Let me tell you, they look good. Generally, I take an extra large in everything, except for jackets, then I take a 2XL, but the large tank top on me fits me like a second skin. It shows my six pack and has plenty of room for my bulging biceps. So, they run a size big. If you take a large, I'd order a medium.

Yeah, I know, it does say Scouries World on the back of the shirt, but the front of the shirt is real cool. The front of the shirt has a logo of that woman that appears when you open up Literotica, you know the one where she is standing and posing. It's cool.

So, who ever wants a Scouries World tee shirt with the Literotica logo its first come first serve. I figure that I have 100 of each color ranging from sizes small to extra large, 25 in each size.

Since I already grabbed one for myself, there are only 99 shirts left for the guys.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Ah, so you're one of his alts....I see...

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Nope, I'm just me.

Ah, so you're one of his alts....I see...

Alts? Me? An alt?

Listen, Max. May I call you Max?

I've written over 500 stories here since January 2007. I don't have time for an alt. I'm an army of one, Bostonfictionwriter. I want to be credited for everything that I write, good, bad, or indifferent, it's all me.

Now, maybe Scouries has alts. I have no idea. I know that many people have alts on this site. I couldn't tell you who is who and I don't care.

All I know is, he made me threadmaster in his absence while he's on vacation and I take that role very seriously. He entrusted me with his thread and it's a big responsibility. You'd understand if you were in here with me. You see things from a different perspective seeing inside out rather than seeing outside in.

It sort of feels like being the Wizard in the Wizard of Oz, you know. All knowing and all powerful. Let me tell you the power that this thread has can go to your head. Yet, I'm not type of guy. I don't have illusions. I just write stories.

So...do you want a tee shirt?

What size? What color?

All I'm doing is passing out tee shirt and vacuuming up all this confetti. This place is a mess since I opened it up yesterday. We had a little party and everyone left without picking up after themselves. There's pizza and beer bottles everywhere.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Tee shirts here

Tee shirts here! I'm passing out Scouries World tee shirts?

Who wants one? Step right up.

Gees, these are nice. This thing fits me like a glove and it looks really good on me.

Oh, by the way, for you ladies, the woman's tee shirt has a plunging neckline, scolloped I guess you'd call it. I'm sure that it would make your boobs look bigger, especially if you got a size smaller. These run big, don't forget.

I've already put several aside for Scouries best friends, TX Ritter guy, Ace pilot guy, and DSMoonman guy. Only, I don't know what size they take, maybe small.

Actually, I should put one aside for DK. She's a really big fan of Scouries World.

Tee shirts here! I'm passing out Scouries World tee shirts here.

 

[cloudy]

I have a t-shirt from someplace that real people gather, but thank you. Oh, I don't need any help in the boobage dept. either.

It looks like this:

http://images.cafepress.com/jitcrunch.aspx?bG9hZD1ibGFuayxibGFuazoxMTRfRi5qcGd8bG9hZD1MMCxodHRwOi8vaW1hZ2VzLmNhZmVwcmVzcy5jb20vaW1hZ2UvMTMxOTgxOThfNDAweDQwMC5qcGd8fHNjYWxlPUwwLDE2MCw4MCxXaGl0ZXxjb21wb3NlPWJsYW5rLEwwLEFkZCwxNTcsMTUwfGNwPXJlc3VsdCxibGFua3xzY2FsZT1yZXN1bHQsMCw0ODAsV2hpdGV8Y29tcHJlc3Npb249OTV8

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

I found more stuff.

Hold on. I found some more stuff to pass out with the tee shirts.

One to a customer please. What I mean by that is, if you want a tee shirt, I can't give you a keyring and/or a pen, too.

I have Scouries World keyrings, pens, and coffee mugs.

As threadmaster, I'm taking one of each. What the Hell? I mean, he didn't give me any guidelines. Besides, these boxes are all very dusty and I found them way in the back of his thread. Either he forgot about them or, gees, I hope he wasn't saving them for something. For what, though?

The dates on the packing slips are 2003. It's time to pass them out, you know.

So, tell me what you want a tee shirt, keyring, pen, or a coffee mug.

Besides, once I get rid of these boxes he'll have more room for other things. Pinball machines are good.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

Use it to wax your car

I have a t-shirt from someplace that real people gather, but thank you. Oh, I don't need any help in the boobage dept. either.

It looks like this:

http://images.cafepress.com/jitcrunch.aspx?bG9hZD1ibGFuayxibGFuazoxMTRfRi5qcGd8bG9hZD1MMCxodHRwOi8vaW1hZ2VzLmNhZmVwcmVzcy5jb20vaW1hZ2UvMTMxOTgxOThfNDAweDQwMC5qcGd8fHNjYWxlPUwwLDE2MCw4MCxXaGl0ZXxjb21wb3NlPWJsYW5rLEwwLEFkZCwxNTcsMTUwfGNwPXJlc3VsdCxibGFua3xzY2FsZT1yZXN1bHQsMCw0ODAsV2hpdGV8Y29tcHJlc3Npb249OTV8

I'm quite sure you have very nice boobs, Cloudy. I didn't say that you didn't. Feel free to send me photos of your boobs if you feel that you need to prove to me that you have great boobs. Please don't feel shy about sending me photos of your boobs. Think of me as you would your doctor or you mamogram technician. I would only view the photos of your boobs in private, in my bathroom, with my pants down around my ankles.

Still, I couldn't help but notice that your tee shirt was white. White is not even a color. The ladies Scouries World tees are pink and have a lower neckline that would show more of your cleavage and allow you to proudly display some of your best Indian jewelry.

I'm not twisting your arm to take one, but I know you've always had a long term attraction for Scouries. Sorry, if I let out your secret attraction for the man. Nonetheless, it's only fair that you should proudly wear one of his tee shirts or use it to wax your car. You do have a car, don't you? Or are you still riding bareback while bare?

 

[cloudy]

I'm quite sure you have very nice boobs, Cloudy. I didn't say that you didn't. Feel free to send me photos of your boobs if you feel that you need to prove to me that you have great boobs. Please don't feel shy about sending me photos of your boobs. Think of me as you would your doctor or you mamogram technician. I would only view the photos of your boobs in private, in my bathroom, with my pants down around my ankles.

Still, I couldn't help but notice that your tee shirt was white. White is not even a color. The ladies Scouries World tees are pink and have a lower neckline that would show more of your cleavage and allow you to proudly display some of your best Indian jewelry.

I'm not twisting your arm to take one, but I know you've always had a long term attraction for Scouries. Sorry, if I let out your secret attraction for the man. Nonetheless, it's only fair that you should proudly wear one of his tee shirts or use it to wax your car. You do have a car, don't you? Or are you still riding bareback while bare?

As for my boobs, I have an AV showing them...just watch, it'll turn up again sooner or later.

And, yep...I have three cars - well, two cars and a truck - but I don't wash them. That's what husbands are for.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

She'll thank me for my thoughtfulness

I wonder what size woman's tee I should put aside for DK?

Hmmm, maybe those photos she shows of herself are old photos. What if she's gained weight, a lot of weight. Damn, what if she's huge?

I'll play it safe and put an extra large aside for her. Let me hold it up to myself. Oh, yeah, that looks like it would fit a 300 pound woman.

She'll thank me for my thoughtfulness, I'm sure. I mean, she's such a good friend of Scouries that I'd hate for her not to get one of these tees.