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Scribbled said:Let me assure you, Sir Scouries, you have provided far more nuggets of wisdom and astute observations in a mere 211 posts than Daniellekitten has done in 1,754 posts. Or drksideofthemoon has done in 3,222 posts. Or SelenaKittyn has done in 8,023 posts. Or for that matter, RedHairedandFriendly has done in 74,232 posts. If only some of these prima donnas would take a page from your book and learn how (possible How-to story for next contest?) not to waste so many words.
scouries said:I understand my promotional reviews may be a little over the top but shit, surely an author can do better than that. What’s the category, what’s the story about, why should I read it? Lure me a bit for christs sake! If that’s the best promo someone can do for his own story I definitely am not going to read it.[/i]
drksideofthemoon said:A bit over the top? That could qualify for the understatement of the year. What I want to know is why you have to self promote your work if you are indeed the "Best Selling Author"?
I do absolutely no self promotion, either here, or in my non-existant signature, and I still get a fair number of reads.
drksideofthemoon said:I'm quite honored that you tossed me in with such talent, the 2005, and 2006 Writers of Year. SK and DK must be doing something right.
And you should change your name to ScouriesAsshole... Since that's the end you're always talking out of....Scribbled said:Hey girl, since you sound so much like the twisted sisters and kiss so much ass, maybe you should change your name to SmittenKitten.
Daniellekitten said:Sorry, that just deserves a "Snerk!"![]()
Scribbled said:Hey girl, since you sound so much like the twisted sisters and kiss so much ass, maybe you should change your name to SmittenKitten.
Daniellekitten said:Sure, I'm good to the highest bidder...
scouries said:Anyway Moonman, if you do try it you might be able to do the same with your story. Think about it! You’d be #1!
scouries said:NUDE DAY CONTEST
Some readers may remember my foray into judging last years ‘NUDE DAY’ contest. It wasn’t seen as a complete success in all quarters I’m afraid. Unfortunately, I gravely underestimated the sensitivity of many of our authors or their openness to critical discussion of their work.
Anyway I thought I’d post a few suggestions from the one person who may have read every single, sometimes painful, story in last years contest. ME! This is my best advice to those of you who are contemplating entering a story this year based on what I saw last year.
1) There were a great number of entries in last years contest. Quite frankly, far too many for any normal Literotica reader to sample. In fairness to them (and to your fellow authors) I suggest you only submit one story. This will give every author a chance to have his entry read.
2) And I also suggest you try and keep your story under three Literotica pages long. In fact under two Literotica pages (approx 7000 words) would be even better.
3) Please authors, keep in mind the THEME. At least half of last years entries completely ignored it.
4) Although some of Literotica’s themed contests may not demand sex (How To, Valentines Day, for example), this contest cries out for sexual situations. Our readers expect it – ignoring them, the people who allow this site to operate, is simply rude.
5) Stories that are amusing, light, and sexy seem to fit the spirit of this contest much better than the dark and/or deep. Get the readers smiling!
6) I suggest the use of lots of dialogue – lets hear these cavorting nudists in their own words.
7) Ask the reader for their vote at the end of your story. It’s better than begging later in one of these support threads. And you know, generally they are pretty good about it. Wouldn’t it be nice to see a contest winner who’d attracted more than fifty votes? A winner with maybe two or three hundred votes? Or more!
8) Finally try to write your story with the Literotica reader in mind. I understand that some of you have a certain ambivalence towards the average reader. In fact, let’s be frank, many authors here hate having to put their stories on a porn site at all. But hell, we all get a free ride here at Lit, why not try for once to actually please our public.
Here were my top picks from last years contest. Reading some of them before you start to put pen to paper might just help you get in the proper mood.
1st ANNUALSCOURIES 2006 NUDE DAY CONTEST AWARD WINNERS
LITEROTICA’S BEST WRITERS SALUTED BY SCOTTISH LAIRD
The following authors and stories have been selected by an international panel of renowned, dead, nudist authors (all Nobel laureates), overseen by the official Haitian Election Monitoring Team and the respected International accounting firm of Scouries, Kitten and Kittyn, as the best stories in the Literotica Nude Day Contest.
[size=+3] S S S S S S S [/size]
1 – hyalhyalhyal for Daphne. It took three tries but this author finally hit a home run and wins the giant red S. It was simply continuously humorous and the writers’ ability turned what could have seemed silly or stupid into a great read. You covered everyone here- gay men, lesbians, straights, nudists, exhibitionists, voyeurs, horses; you gave us celebrities, a hint of incest, a heroine and a hero…
2 - Unsung Muse for Naked I. So completely different from everything else written here. A professionalism that makes me think that maybe you shouldn’t be allowed in the contest – you’re simply too good. Smoking hot! Tres sexy! I’m afraid that now, every time one of those afternoon storms catches me unprepared on Ocean Drive or Lincoln Road, I’ll look around, wondering which rain soaked woman is our famous author.
3 – kbate for Capital City Art Exhibition. I liked this story an awful lot when I first read it but only gave it a 3 (lowered from 3.95) mainly because of the lesbian theme. Celeste (see, I told you I’d get your name in hon), a friend of mine, read it and loved it, insisting the sex was way hot. I read it again and completely agreed. Read it a third time while deciding placings – still found it great. It’s funny and erotic! Intelligent. Modern. Funny. Dead on theme. Liked the way you spread your different erotic scenes throughout the story. The shaving scene, the police stop, the bar scene, you even threw in a sister/sister act – never knew you girls had it so good. A more than enjoyable read.
4 – scouries for Becky’s South Beach Spring Break No self-promoting author would omit to put one of his own stories on a winners list, so here is mine. While not actually entered in the ‘official competition’, it does have more public nudism in it than 90% of the entries, and was released on Literotica during June. Wasn’t rated very highly (and did receive a couple of very cheap shots from unnamed critics), but has received 294 votes. Sexy and fun – read it. WARNING: A very observant neonlyte pointed out in one of his pithy posts that the word ‘nigger’ is used in this story. If you believe, like he does, that this word should never be uttered by a character in any story, please don’t read it.
5 – Rassendyll for Naked and Public. Perhaps not everyone’s choice but I loved it. I keep wanting to move it higher up this list. Hilarious. The English at their best. I’ve already filmed the Brit-com in my head. Read it!!
6 – FunDareGuy for A Day at the Beach. When I first read this I didn’t know it was in the contest (it hadn’t appeared on the Nude Day Contest list right away) but loved it. Doesn’t have the sex I’d normally require and perhaps is too undemanding for the purists. It wins a prize though simply because I thoroughly enjoyed it.
7 - gauchecritic for Carol and Denny’s Exchange I didn’t have this story among my prize winners until literally minutes ago. When I looked down my list of winners just before submitting it I found I didn’t want to leave this one off. I had to drop another good story but thems the breaks. This one deserves an S.
8 – Totzman for Nude Secretaries Day This story, along with ‘Daphne’ and ‘kbate’s’, was the kind of story I was hoping the nude day theme would produce. Funny, light, interesting, sexy. Now exactly who are you anyway?
Special Awards
Best Off-Theme Story Award to AliciaNightOrchid for Three Nude Women Simply excellent writing! I had to invent a category for this story to win in – she was one of only three 5’s I awarded.
Silver W Award to ??????? – The Silver W was first awarded after the Xmas contest and goes to the story that receives the most votes. Anyone who believes he may be eligible for this prize can send me a message detailing his vote count.
Gold W Award to ???????? – For most total views received. Having no list of views on the stories entered I’ll have to wait until contestants advise me of how many views their stories got. (hyalhyalhyal has said he’s received 90,000+ views for Kimmy so your total would have to be higher than this)
Readers Choice Awards – Sarahhh for Daddy, I’m Naked and DG Hear for Zoea. Had no plan to give these prizes until I stumbled into the ‘Feedback Portal’ by mistake two days ago. Both stories had over 100 comments! Jesus! That’s more comments than most stories get votes. The public has clearly spoken!
Honorable Mention – Elayne, R Richard, robert12, Alex de Kok, Mayhem Lass, rumple, Daniellllllllllle –
PLEASE DO NOT POST REPLIES ON THIS THREAD
to be continued – jrs
[size=+2]Official Grand-High Poobah of Literotica.[/size]
SEVERUSMAX said:I just don't accept flawed criticism.
Scribbled said:LMFAO! I read some of your reviews of new stories. You seem to be the king of flawed criticism, as far as I am concerned. And you are almost as big of a kiss as SmittenKitten (formerly known as drksideofthemoon).
SEVERUSMAX said:There is nothing flawed about my reviews. Which is more than I can say of your much vaunted scouries. The SOB didn't even spell my username and that of one of the principal characters right. And his review left more than a little to be desired.
If this guy isn't one of Scouries alts, I'll eat my hat. It's the old bait and switch to a new level.... Compare the wording of dribbles post to scouries... they started off different but now they are very similar.Daniellekitten said:Sev, arguing with this guy is like hitting your head against a brick wall. It does no good and can leave you with brain damage.![]()
Just out of curiosity, how many of those places you've mentioned in your masterpieces have you actually been to or have relatives or friends live there?scouries said:Story Background #2
So, read scouries and travel the world!!! You never know just where you might end up!!!
scouries said:NUDE DAY CONTEST
Some readers may remember my foray into judging last years ‘NUDE DAY’ contest. It wasn’t seen as a complete success in all quarters I’m afraid. Unfortunately, I gravely underestimated the sensitivity of many of our authors or their openness to critical discussion of their work.
Anyway I thought I’d post a few suggestions from the one person who may have read every single, sometimes painful, story in last years contest. ME! This is my best advice to those of you who are contemplating entering a story this year based on what I saw last year.
4) Although some of Literotica’s themed contests may not demand sex (How To, Valentines Day, for example), this contest cries out for sexual situations. Our readers expect it – ignoring them, the people who allow this site to operate, is simply rude.