The Safe Haven

Cutie, I really hope you are able to find another way to channel your stress. I know it's hard, but you did it once so hopefully you can again. We are here for you.

Starry, if he's smart then he won't run. :)
 
I've had a really rough time this past year and a half or so... lots going on, too much to mention here now. In the course of everything I had to make a very difficult decision, we surrendered our cat of 10 years to the humane society. (Please don't yell at me, I know it was awful!!) It was not an easy thing to do and I still feel terrible over it. I just couldn't care for her anymore in the way she deserved. This was about a month ago.

Tonight, out of the blue, hubby gets a text message about the cat. It took a few texts back and forth but we find out the cat was adopted and the new owners somehow saw our number on the paperwork and decided to contact us.

This has stirred up a whirlwind of emotions.

At first, I was very defensive towards the new owners, I felt they were questioning our very personal and private reasons for abandoning the cat. (Felt like harassment, to some extent.) To, anger and almost rage at the humane society for disclosing our personal information. (Be it intentional or not.) I now feel grateful to know she has been adopted and hopeful she will now be receiving the love and attention she so deserves. But I also feel so sad to know she has been living in a tiny cage this long, she must have been so scared, hurt and lonely. :(

After I had hubby surrender her, I honestly just tried to block it out. I have too much else going on, emotionally, and I just couldn't handle it all. Not now anyway. Tonight it was thrown in front of me, caught me off guard and has really overwhelmed me.

Tomorrow I think I might call the humane society and ask them about how the new owners saw our personal information. I'm not sure if adoptions are open ended to the new owners? I don't know what to do, its bitter sweet. It is nice to know about our cat, but at the same time, its so very, very hard.

Sorry for rambling. Thanks if you read this.
 
awwwwwwww*HUGS* sorry Sweets....As a person who has lost some very close pets to death and when I was 5 my parents putting up our cat for adoption....I know how hard it is to let go and to lose or have to give up something special. Definitely sounds like there was some kind of careless mix up at the humane society. But nice to know that your kitty got a loving home:)
 
I've had a really rough time this past year and a half or so... lots going on, too much to mention here now. In the course of everything I had to make a very difficult decision, we surrendered our cat of 10 years to the humane society. (Please don't yell at me, I know it was awful!!) It was not an easy thing to do and I still feel terrible over it. I just couldn't care for her anymore in the way she deserved. This was about a month ago.

Tonight, out of the blue, hubby gets a text message about the cat. It took a few texts back and forth but we find out the cat was adopted and the new owners somehow saw our number on the paperwork and decided to contact us.

This has stirred up a whirlwind of emotions.

At first, I was very defensive towards the new owners, I felt they were questioning our very personal and private reasons for abandoning the cat. (Felt like harassment, to some extent.) To, anger and almost rage at the humane society for disclosing our personal information. (Be it intentional or not.) I now feel grateful to know she has been adopted and hopeful she will now be receiving the love and attention she so deserves. But I also feel so sad to know she has been living in a tiny cage this long, she must have been so scared, hurt and lonely. :(

After I had hubby surrender her, I honestly just tried to block it out. I have too much else going on, emotionally, and I just couldn't handle it all. Not now anyway. Tonight it was thrown in front of me, caught me off guard and has really overwhelmed me.

Tomorrow I think I might call the humane society and ask them about how the new owners saw our personal information. I'm not sure if adoptions are open ended to the new owners? I don't know what to do, its bitter sweet. It is nice to know about our cat, but at the same time, its so very, very hard.

Sorry for rambling. Thanks if you read this.


First off, YOU DID NOT ABANDON YOUR CAT!!! Abandoning her would have been leaving her on the side of the road helpless somewhere. You did what you thought was best for her and your family. That makes you a good person.

As for the personal information, is she chipped? If she was chipped, they may have got the information that way. I'm not sure how that works.

I'm so sorry things have been so hard for you and I really understand how you feel We gave our Cat away thinking she would do better with another family and I still feel bad a lot of the time. If you need to talk, I'm always here. I mean that! *hugs*
 
Thank you Wolf and Belle.

She didn't have a chip, the people saw our information on some paperwork. My guess it was a combination of carelessness/sloppy work on the humane society and pain gutsy balls from the new owners to text us.
 
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Thank you Wolf and Belle.

She didn't have a chip, the people saw our information on some paperwork. My guess it was a combination of carelessness/sloppy work on the humane society and pain gutsy balls from the new owners to text us.

That does seem kinda rude? in a way of them to contact you.
 
That does seem kinda rude? in a way of them to contact you.

Yes.

I'm hoping they are just so excited they wanted to learn more about her and just tell us? Maybe they were thinking we would thank them?

I'm sure they didn't mean to send me into emotions overdrive, but they did.

For all they knew I could have been hostile toward them. For all I know they could become hostile towards us. Its quite unsettling. My mom told me to just let it go. Hubby doesn't see why I'm making a big deal about everything either, although he is being nice about it. Neither of them quite get it, so now I'm bitchin' to you guys. :D
 
Yes.

I'm hoping they are just so excited they wanted to learn more about her and just tell us? Maybe they were thinking we would thank them?

I'm sure they didn't mean to send me into emotions overdrive, but they did.

For all they knew I could have been hostile toward them. For all I know they could become hostile towards us. Its quite unsettling. My mom told me to just let it go. Hubby doesn't see why I'm making a big deal about everything either, although he is being nice about it. Neither of them quite get it, so now I'm bitchin' to you guys. :D

That's what we are here for:D
 
Today was not as good as yesterday. I broke down right after work. But thanks for all the hugs and such. I know it's gonna be a daily process. :D

*hugs* to those who need them and want them.
 
Today was not as good as yesterday. I broke down right after work. But thanks for all the hugs and such. I know it's gonna be a daily process. :D

*hugs* to those who need them and want them.

They say its good to let it out. Cry, talk to some one, post here... What ever it is that helps.

(((hugs)))
 
Today was not as good as yesterday. I broke down right after work. But thanks for all the hugs and such. I know it's gonna be a daily process. :D

*hugs* to those who need them and want them.

Keep hanging in there and plugging away. And let the pain out when you need to......:)
 
Yes.

I'm hoping they are just so excited they wanted to learn more about her and just tell us? Maybe they were thinking we would thank them?

I'm sure they didn't mean to send me into emotions overdrive, but they did.

For all they knew I could have been hostile toward them. For all I know they could become hostile towards us. Its quite unsettling. My mom told me to just let it go. Hubby doesn't see why I'm making a big deal about everything either, although he is being nice about it. Neither of them quite get it, so now I'm bitchin' to you guys. :D

I didn't mean to run away in the middle of this. my internet crapped out on me.

*HUGS* I still think it was awful that they contacted you. really... I get it.
She is beautiful btw.
 
Hey, Sweets, I'm so sorry I wasn't around on Friday to see your post; I'm so sorry to hear that your emotions are in overdrive, and I hope a good night's rest has helped to set your mind a little more at ease. I'm certainly glad your kitty has a new home. That is the important thing. Odd that the adopters decided to contact you; that definitely seems like a breach in procedure. (((hugs))) to you, love.

Dragon, (((hugs))) to you as well. One day at a time, sweetheart.
 
Is it only stress that drives this urge?

Even with the short nails, what did you use to cut? Has it always been the arms or on other places as well? What is the goal you have from scratching/cutting?

You said you wanted to live under the right conditions. What are those conditions and why?

Yes stress.

Nails. Arms only. The feeling of the pain to take my mind off things.

The conditions is I'm left alone in a protective bubble where no one can hurt me! I've been hurt a lot. :(
 
Yes stress.

Nails. Arms only. The feeling of the pain to take my mind off things.

The conditions is I'm left alone in a protective bubble where no one can hurt me! I've been hurt a lot. :(


*hugs* for you both.

Being alone can be very stressful hon. I hope you can find someone to trust or a constructive way to deal with it. I hope you know that you have people here who care about you!
 
Yes stress.

Nails. Arms only. The feeling of the pain to take my mind off things.

The conditions is I'm left alone in a protective bubble where no one can hurt me! I've been hurt a lot. :(

When you feel the stress that triggers these events, are the thoughts and feelings you are having overwhelming your mind or is more minor stress events? Basically, large amounts of stress and infrequent or small amounts of stress and frequently?

You are not alone in this. Many people inflict harm on themselves. Was there a general time when these events started? Specifics help, such as "I am 24 and this started happening when I was 19."

While you have experienced a lot of hurt from various people in your life, can you list three things, non-sexual, that you find peaceful or things you find soothing? It could be an action you take, something you listen to or something to look at. Your answers are not wrong and can be as vague as writing to as specific as paintings of roman architecture.

Thank you again for continuing to talk about this here.
 
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