The Preamble

[Handley_Page]

OK, so several Authors have a few notes or whatever at the front of their stories. Warnings of the content being 'adult' or even explicit and, obviously, the odd legal bit.

But the thought occurred to me the other day, and it's in two parts:
1. The ideal set of remarks, and
2. A complete list including some daft ones.
Example
"No trees were harmed during the writing of this story" or
"No animals were harmed during the writing of this story"

So, who's up for the list then?.
I'd prefer it if this wasn't a platform for stupid comments. Maybe some gentle humour, though.

 

[sr71plt]

Warning: I found I was only able to type this with one hand.

 

[Darkniciad]

Loved this one

http://www.literotica.com/s/days-of-high-adventure

Warning: This story contains graphic violence, graphic pre-marital sex, violation of college housing regulations, graphic geekery, multiple dismemberments, impalings, bad language, nudity, drug references, consumption of alcohol, destruction of private property, paganism, theft, arson, slavery, reptile-on-human violence, improper placement of hazardous materials, money laundering, illegal immigration, tax evasion, poor workplace standards, unwed cohabitating couples, kidnapping, assault under color of authority, bearers of false witness, human sacrifice, desecration of religious sites, unsafe work standards and repeated, uncredited film references and/or quotes.

Based on the works of Robert E. Howard and certain roleplaying games falsely accused of Satanic influence. There may be dungeons and/or dragons.

 

[oggbashan]

My preamble to The Worst Chain Story Ever Ch.01:

Copyright Oggbashan May 2003 The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.

Note to Readers: Please read the title. This is meant to be bad, repetitive and boring in places. If it were not a Chain Story it would be categorised as Humor and Satire. You have been warned. Continue at your own risk.

I added two notes to the reader in the middle of the story as well. After all, it is 'the worst'. These:

1(Note to reader: I had to get this and the next story in somehow so I have used a cunning plan to get John the Dong to tell them while his wife is in her special walk-in wardrobe. They have nothing to do with the story but I'm the author so I can do what I like. So there! Sticks out tongue at reader. If you don't like it you should have been deterred by the title of this story.)

2(Note to the reader: You must assume that the fur is fake fur man-made without harming any wildlife but indistinguishable from real fur of the animals described and that this story subscribes to the principles of the Earth Summits and all that ecological greenness. The only people, animals or sentient beings likely to be harmed by this story are the readers. You have been warned.)

 

[johneb87]

The preamble on mine all begin with [Insert lawyer voice here].

 

[Handley_Page]

The preamble on mine all begin with [Insert lawyer voice here].

And the rest of it says?