tamgreen
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2013
- Posts
- 1,501
Jamie kept his eyes on his shoes until it was his turn with Colette. He smiled and gushed a little about how he was inspired by her writing. He thanked her for her talk and for her autograph before shaking her hand and moving on.
His eyes automatically searched out Nick - he was still busy talking with Joe. Jamie felt incredibly immature, stupid, and embarrassed about this whole venture. The moments of making out in Nick's car had probably just been a temporary insanity that Nick was trying to distance himself from, and here Jamie was showing up in his life uninvited, reminding him of his mistake, and unsuccessfully trying to lure him away from his prior plans with his friend. He hadn't even managed the simple task of giving Nick his phone number.
Jamie was just a dumb teenager - what would an intelligent, handsome, together middle-aged man like Nick want with a dumb teenager? - and the overload of emotions now coursing through him just underscored that fact. He didn't want to feel as awful and as heartbroken as he did right now, and he hated that his eyes were stinging with the threat of tears. What the hell was wrong with him? How could he be hurt by this? He'd only hurt himself - why couldn't he just be a man and suck up his disappointment over something he never should have wished for in the first place? He even felt stupid about what he was wearing now - maybe he should just throw out his cute pink shirt and dress like Kelly wanted him to. At least if she was making all of his decisions for him, he wouldn't end up making a fool of himself.
Quickly wiping at the corners of his eyes, he looked for the bathroom so he could have a few moments alone, but the only bathroom here was a single-occupancy one and it was occupied. Instead he ducked into a deserted aisle, which ended up being self-help books, and took a few moments to try to compose himself, gritting his teeth and wiping his eyes more thoroughly.
Once he could see straight, he glanced over the shelves. Maybe there would be something here that could help him figure out what the fuck he was doing with his life, but he didn't even see a single book on LGBT issues.
Fucking typical.
He could hardly have bought such a book anyway. Someone would see; someone would talk.
He hugged his signed Colette Masters book against his chest and waited for the crowds to die down. Hopefully soon Nick would be gone with his buddy Joe, and Jamie wouldn't have to see him and fall apart again.
His eyes automatically searched out Nick - he was still busy talking with Joe. Jamie felt incredibly immature, stupid, and embarrassed about this whole venture. The moments of making out in Nick's car had probably just been a temporary insanity that Nick was trying to distance himself from, and here Jamie was showing up in his life uninvited, reminding him of his mistake, and unsuccessfully trying to lure him away from his prior plans with his friend. He hadn't even managed the simple task of giving Nick his phone number.
Jamie was just a dumb teenager - what would an intelligent, handsome, together middle-aged man like Nick want with a dumb teenager? - and the overload of emotions now coursing through him just underscored that fact. He didn't want to feel as awful and as heartbroken as he did right now, and he hated that his eyes were stinging with the threat of tears. What the hell was wrong with him? How could he be hurt by this? He'd only hurt himself - why couldn't he just be a man and suck up his disappointment over something he never should have wished for in the first place? He even felt stupid about what he was wearing now - maybe he should just throw out his cute pink shirt and dress like Kelly wanted him to. At least if she was making all of his decisions for him, he wouldn't end up making a fool of himself.
Quickly wiping at the corners of his eyes, he looked for the bathroom so he could have a few moments alone, but the only bathroom here was a single-occupancy one and it was occupied. Instead he ducked into a deserted aisle, which ended up being self-help books, and took a few moments to try to compose himself, gritting his teeth and wiping his eyes more thoroughly.
Once he could see straight, he glanced over the shelves. Maybe there would be something here that could help him figure out what the fuck he was doing with his life, but he didn't even see a single book on LGBT issues.
Fucking typical.
He could hardly have bought such a book anyway. Someone would see; someone would talk.
He hugged his signed Colette Masters book against his chest and waited for the crowds to die down. Hopefully soon Nick would be gone with his buddy Joe, and Jamie wouldn't have to see him and fall apart again.