The Literotica Very Large Medal for Incredible Sexiness

[Stout chap]

The Literotica Very Large Medal for Incredible Sexiness has been added to the list of available Literotica Sexiness awards as it has long been felt that there is a level of Sexiness not adequately recognised by the Literotica Large Medal for Incredible Sexiness nor yet deserving of the Literotica Enormous Medal for Incredible Sexiness with Shiny Dangly Bits.

Members may put forward their nominations for this super new award here.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Rubyfruit for the lady and JazzManJim for the man.

 

[Stout chap]

I had the enormous pleasure of presenting a number of medals earlier today to the Literotica Young Ladies Swimming Team. I can tell you it gave me quite a thrill each time as I pinned those gongs to their proud chests. So much so, indeed, that I presented them all with a few extra ones, such as the Literotica Very Small Medal for Not Much Sexiness, and, I must admit, a great many more that I made up on the spot...

 

[Pyper]

What do I have to do to get the one with shiny dangly bits?

 

[Mischka]

*shoves Pyper*

I want the dangly bits! It would look lovely on my bloomers!

 

[Purple Haze]

I'm almost afraid to ask how you qualify for a Purple Heart...

 

[Pyper]

*shoves Pyper*

I want the dangly bits! It would look lovely on my bloomers!

No fair! Stout chap is going to pick you based on that incredibly provocative AV!

 

[Starblayde]

I'm almost afraid to ask how you qualify for a Purple Heart...

Carpetburn?

 

[Stout chap]

Something like this gets shiny dangly bits:

Just about deserves the entire medal range, I should say.

 

[Darkthought]

Literotica Enormous Medal for Incredible Sexiness with Shiny Dangly Bits.

LOL.

Good show.
Screw the enormous one, I, like the others, want the Dangly Bits.

 

[Guest]

Carpetburn?

Classy !

 

[Purple Haze]

Something like this gets shiny dangly bits:

Just about deserves the entire medal range, I should say.

But, what about the girl?

 

[Mischka]

But, what about the girl?

I think he's saying we have to accessorize with our pets in order to win.

 

[Stout chap]

Mischka's naughty av. (she only has on three layers, it's perverse!) brought to mind another little stunning heroic achievement of mine, chaps. I was chaperonin' some delightful gels at Skegness, back in '22.

When out of the corner of my eye, I couldn't help noticin' this Wegie submarine cruisin' nearby.....stealthy-like. You follow?

So when the girls and I went in for a splash,

I was quite ready for the swine to torpedo us!

I carried the poor creatures out one by one, until, quite exhausted,

I summoned help from the local Temperance group.

Although I don't think Miss Mischka would want to be saved from that particular torpedo, eh?

 

[Mischka]

Not if it gets me closer to The Dangly Bits.

That was the best illustrated story I've seen on Lit. Most impressive, Stout Chap.

 

[Pyper]

Not if it gets me closer to The Dangly Bits.

That was the best illustrated story I've seen on Lit. Most impressive, Stout Chap.

I saw one he did on dipping women into jam that was pretty good.

 

[Stout chap]

Ah, my adoring fans, you make me tearful and gay. I shall endeavour to fulfil your witbuds whene'er possible, b'god. In the meantime, I shall give Miss Mischka a kiss:

Although I amn't so sure about giving Pyper there one:

 

[Agent99]

I'm almost afraid to ask how you qualify for a Purple Heart...

Why, that's easy! For getting split in two after being fucked by that giant gun of yours, Purple Haze. Or, for dislocating your jaw after trying to swallow it whole in the line of duty.

 

[Pyper]

Although I amn't so sure about giving Pyper there one:

LOL, hey!

 

[Rubyfruit]

Mr. Chap, you're quite funny.

 

[Purple Haze]

Why, that's easy! For getting split in two after being fucked by that giant gun of yours, Purple Haze. Or, for dislocating your jaw after trying to swallow it whole in the line of duty.

(salute)